Chapter 51: The Day the World Went Silent

I opened my eyes.

I couldn’t tell whether I had slept, or merely closed my eyes to rest.

Sleep had always been like that for me.

Still, hyung’s face while he slept was always fascinating.

As if he were having a pleasant dream, his expression kept changing little by little.

At least while he slept, he looked like he was enjoying real rest.

The lie about having scary dreams wasn’t something I started intentionally.

When I fell asleep in hyung’s arms, I could finally feel like I had actually slept,

so I slipped into his bed out of habit.

The sweet, comforting scent—like candy had been rubbed into the air—helped too.

Hyung was the only one who misunderstood, thinking I had nightmares every night.

Yesterday, I couldn’t sleep in the same bed as hyung,

and the unfamiliar sleeping place felt uncomfortable.

Starting today, I’d be going to the academy—

would I be able to sleep with him there…?

Probably not.

Asking to be assigned the same room might make me look too childish.

Then again, I was still eighteen,

so maybe I was allowed to pout a little.

I was thinking about how we might share a room

when I stepped into the living room.

“Why are you just standing there?”

I almost stepped on Poppy as I came out.

He wasn’t a real puppy, so it’s not like stepping on him lightly would kill him,

but hyung would freak out anyway,

so I had to be careful.

“…Grrr….”

What’s wrong…?

Does something hurt?

Poppy let out a dying sound.

This was usually the time he’d demand breakfast,

so I didn’t understand why he was acting like this.

“Hyung’s not up yet?”

“Phoo….”

Poppy didn’t even look at me as he sighed,

and that’s when I realized something was wrong.

Now that I noticed, I couldn’t feel hyung’s presence anywhere in this residence.

If he were here, there was no way I wouldn’t feel it—

so why…?

Even though I already knew hyung wasn’t in his room,

I knocked on the door.

Knock, knock, knock.

I cleared my throat once and spoke.

“Hyung, are you still asleep? …I’m coming in.”

Why did my voice sound so pitiful?

I pretended to stay calm,

but I couldn’t hide the trembling of my heart.

It took a long time just to grab the doorknob,

and even longer to turn it.

Again and again…

bad thoughts kept creeping in.

Like the day my mom suddenly disappeared,

I started imagining that hyung might do the same.

Of course, this wasn’t just about today.

Whenever hyung came home late without 연락,

or went out shopping without a word,

those thoughts would surface.

So this time too, I tried to steady myself,

telling myself it was nothing,

and opened the door.

“…Hyung….”

Thud.

It felt like my heart slammed into the floor.

The bed—its sheets untouched, showing no trace of sleep.

The familiar scent of hyung was nowhere in the room.

The sight of the empty space made my breathing grow rapid.

My heart thrashed violently,

and my arms and legs began to tremble.

No. No.

That couldn’t be it.

I must be mistaken, or seeing things.

Yeah… that had to be it.

With hands that barely moved,

I fumbled for my phone and made a call,

then bolted outside without thinking.

He was here.

He had to be somewhere nearby.

…He had to be.

Where did everything go wrong?

Was it because I couldn’t control my anger and slaughtered the Yukmangseong?

Or because that led to the support agency chasing us?

Or maybe…

because I showed such pathetic skill during the battle with the monsters.

In the end, I couldn’t find hyung anywhere.

The call wouldn’t connect.

After wandering around searching for him,

I returned to the residence.

I didn’t even have the strength to make it to the sofa

and collapsed in the entryway.

As self-reproach piled up,

I buried my head between my knees.

“…Ha….”

Thinking about it,

hyung had countless reasons to leave me.

Each one was a fatal mistake.

Even I would’ve been furious.

It was humiliating.

So shameful I wanted to die.

The truth was, I knew it all along.

Everything that happened started when I killed the bastard

who tried to touch hyung.

That led to hyung being harassed by the Yukmangseong,

and when I killed them too,

the support agency began hunting us.

Most of all, the gate break a while ago was the real problem.

Whenever I think about it…

I want to kill myself.

I couldn’t even help hyung when he was in danger,

and ended up letting him get hurt.

Still, if I were to make one excuse—

it couldn’t be helped.

If I had miscontrolled my power even slightly,

hyung could have died with me.

Knowing that, I couldn’t attack the monster.

If I could perfectly control my power, it would’ve been different,

but I had no confidence in that.

I hate the me I was back then—

the me who panicked and almost killed hyung.

I can’t forgive myself.

And yet hyung said it was okay,

that it wasn’t my fault.

So I pretended I was fine,

acted like nothing was wrong.

Because I thought that would put his mind at ease.

That was when I started thinking

that maybe going to the academy was the right choice.

I wanted to grow strong enough

to make sure hyung would never get hurt like that again.

I wanted to stop him from entering dangerous gates,

from guiding trash like that,

from fighting deadly monsters with his own body.

“Arf!”

I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting there

when I heard a voice

and felt Poppy scratching at my thigh.

I lifted my head.

“You knew, didn’t you.”

“…Arf.”

“What’s that.”

Poppy dragged over a large envelope in his mouth.

I didn’t feel like doing anything

and was about to bury my head again,

but a sudden suspicion made me open the envelope.

“…Why is this….”

Every item I took out left me speechless.

A snack box filled with round pills—

supplements hyung had told me to take regularly.

Instructions written in hyung’s handwriting.

And then… a card and a bankbook.

A bank account I’d never opened,

with the name Sun Jaeyul written on it.

As I flipped through the pages, checking the transactions,

I was at a loss for words.

30,000 won.

50,000 won.

25,000 won.

I didn’t even know what he’d been saving this for.

And at the end of all that painstakingly gathered money

was a sum of tens of millions of won.

A deposit for a rental home.

A memo was attached to the last page.

Don’t save it. Spend it like crazy!!

Why.

Why, why, why.

I couldn’t understand a single thing that was happening.

My vision blurred again and again.

Only then did I truly realize

what it meant for a heart to break.

“Eat strawberries, Jaeyul. Not apples—strawberries.”

“Why…? I like apples too.”

It was my birthday, back when I was still in middle school.

We’d gone out to eat.

Back then, we had even less than we did now.

Not to the point of worrying about our next meal like before I met hyung,

but I knew we weren’t financially comfortable.

Still, hyung celebrated my birthday every year.

Even though the day meant nothing to me.

But since hyung liked it,

I liked it too.

I smiled brightly, ate good food,

bought nice clothes,

and even blew out the candles on a cake.

Hyung loved those things.

That year, we went to a buffet.

After eating until we were stuffed,

hyung came back from the dessert section

with a plate piled high with strawberries.

We’d just eaten so much—

I wondered how he planned to eat all of that.

“Strawberries are good these days. And expensive.”

He really seemed to love them.

His fingertips, his lips,

were stained red with strawberry juice,

and every time he spoke,

a sweet strawberry scent drifted out.

All of them disappeared into his mouth in an instant.

That was probably when it started—

from the next birthday onward,

I saved money diligently to prepare hyung’s cake.

A strawberry cake.

His favorite.

He really did love strawberries.

He scolded me, asking why I’d go to such trouble,

but he still ate the entire cake.

“Sun Jaeyul, open the door!

If you keep this up, things are going to get really bad! Hurry up, damn it!”

That memory surfaced

as I looked through the photos on my phone—

photos filled with our shared past.

I thought I knew hyung so well.

That after all the time we’d spent together,

there was nothing about him I didn’t know.

That’s why I begged him to go to the academy,

even though he said he didn’t want to.

I thought he’d eventually listen to me.

“If you didn’t want to go,

you should’ve just said so…

Then I wouldn’t have pushed you.”

Nothing but regret remains.

The smiles in those photos are dazzling,

yet all of it has become the past.

He was the brightest thing in my world,

and now he’s gone.

After one day, two days,

and then three,

I could no longer deny it.

Hyung abandoned me.

Jin Sehyun left Sun Jaeyul behind.

Unable to endure someone as lacking and selfish as me any longer,

he chose to leave.

And just like that, my world collapsed.

The world that existed only because Jin Sehyun was in it

lost its light in an instant.

I couldn’t see where to go anymore.

No—

I didn’t even feel the will to move.

“I’m forcing the door open.”

Bang, bang!

So loud.

An agent named Oh Seonggyu,

who had been coming every day since the day before yesterday,

knocking nonstop.

I didn’t even want to go to the academy anymore,

so why was he being so persistent?

With a massive boom,

the thick front door exploded open.

And through it, Oh Seonggyu entered.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“…You’re loud. Get lost.”

Having my memories interrupted made irritation surge.

That’s right—

if it weren’t for this man,

maybe none of this would have happened.

If they’d never appeared before us,

things might not have turned out this way.

Part of me knew it was delusional,

but my misplaced anger still turned toward Oh Seonggyu.

A white sphere was already forming in my palm.

“…Ha. Look at this punk.

I knew you were bratty,

but you’ve got no manners either.

Don’t regret this.”

Regret?

What regret was there left for me now?

I hurled the white sphere at him.

But maybe because my mind wasn’t calm,

it flew with pitiful shape and speed.

“You call this an attack?”

In the blink of an eye,

Oh Seonggyu vanished from my sight.

When I saw him again,

his hand was already gripping the back of my neck.

A fist as big as my face filled my vision.

Before I could dodge,

the massive punch slammed into my face.

“Ah, f*ck… my fist!

What the hell are you?!”

It didn’t really hurt.

If anything,

Oh Seonggyu looked like he was in more pain than I was.

Still, maybe from moving my body,

or maybe from the hit,

my mind returned to reality.

“Shit, that hurts!

Hey, how long are you going to stay like this?

Aren’t you going to look for Jin Sehyun?”

“…Look for… hyung?”

The moment his name was spoken,

my mind snapped fully back.

Suddenly, I cared—about everything.

“Of course!

You’re just going to leave the hyung who raised you for five years like this?

You have to find him somehow!

If it were me, I’d be so wronged I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

There might be a reason behind it—

don’t you need to find him and ask?

You’re young but you’ve got no guts, no guts!

Back in my day—”

“…Ah….”

In that instant,

a bright light pierced the pitch-black road blocking my way.

“Looks like you finally get it, brat.

First, let’s go to the academy.”

“No.

I’m finding hyung first.”

“And what are you going to do if you find him like this?

You still can’t even protect yourself—

you think you can protect your hyung properly?

What if monsters start pouring out again?

You want to die together holding hands?”

“…….”

The blunt reality he pointed out

was… bitter.

There wasn’t a single wrong word.

I wanted to run to hyung immediately,

but going back to him like this

was far too shameless.

It would just mean asking him

to take responsibility for my weakness again.

“Get your head straight and build your strength first.

That comes first.

I guarantee you—

Jin Sehyun isn’t someone who’ll die easily,

so stop worrying.”

That’s right.

Until now, I’d acted like a good child

to stay in hyung’s world.

I deliberately pretended to be weak and pitiful,

exactly how he wanted me.

Because I thought that worked on him.

But in reality, it didn’t.

So let’s change the approach.

Instead of me staying in hyung’s world,

I’ll make hyung stay in mine.

I’ll show him that I can protect him

from any threat,

that I can be his support through any hardship.

“Let’s go. The academy.

I’ll go.”

Even if he hates it…

it doesn’t matter.

I have no intention of losing Jin Sehyun.

Even if I have to give up the entire world,

I’ll make him live in mine.

No matter what.