Chapter 68: I’ve Changed My Mind

It would take my breath away to list, from one to ten, every single thing I went through at the Center while working as an esper agent.

Of course, it wasn’t a place that gave me bad memories from the very beginning.

When I first became an agent, 99 out of 100 people were kind to me.

But as time went on, as the Gate Breaks and monster attacks grew more severe, the demands placed on me increased.

Countless tasks were thrown my way for reasons like, ‘Because you’re an SS-rank,’ or ‘Because if it’s not you, more espers will be sacrificed,’ and I couldn’t refuse.

I was too naive to realize that the more I did, the more my comrades grew to envy and hate me.

By the time I realized it, after running forward without looking back, almost no regular staff liked me, except for a few high-ranking individuals.

They must have felt a sense of relative deprivation, as all the praise was showered on me while they were suffering just the same.

Perhaps even that conflict was orchestrated by the Center’s upper echelons.

They might have used the discord with me to motivate the other agents.

Then, with the definitive appearance of ‘X’, my value plummeted to rock bottom.

It was the downfall of the one they had believed, without a doubt, would protect them from any attack.

Defeat after defeat.

Joining the ‘X’ Subjugation Squad became synonymous with offering up one’s life.

And I, as the team leader of that squad, was equated with a being who drove them to their deaths.

When all kinds of appeasement, encouragement, and pleading failed to produce positive results, they finally showed their true colors, and the threats and disregard began.

They blackmailed me with the distribution of ‘Gate Sickness’ cures for the few remaining old comrades, and they framed the failure of the ‘X’ subjugation as the personal incompetence of Jin Sehyeon, not the incompetence of the nation.

You might wonder what that even means in the face of a global catastrophe, but funnily enough, public opinion flowed exactly as they intended.

The large-scale ‘X’ Subjugation Squad that I was part of.

There was a time when renowned espers from all over the world gathered.

It was a unit of absolute power, teeming with SS and S-rank espers.

In a battle that drew the world’s attention, the subjugation squad suffered a massive defeat.

I was the sole survivor, and the loss of so many talented individuals only accelerated the world’s demise.

Even amidst that, there was so little I could do.

And so… by the time I met my death at the hands of ‘X’, 99 out of 100 people had turned their backs on me.

Funnily enough, it was only after dying and coming back to life that I could clearly realize how unjust that treatment was.

“…What are you going to do…?”

Jaeyul asked me again, his face half-dazed.

“I’m going to take the awakening examination. Without running away.”

“Where… are you going, hyung?”

“The Center.”

I repeated the words I had just said, infusing them with a firm will that left no room for doubt.

“Hyung, don’t say things you don’t mean. I know how much you hate the idea of joining the Center, so what…. The person who told me to quit just yesterday is suddenly joining the Center?”

“That’s right. Until yesterday, that was the case. But after hearing what you said, I had a sudden realization.”

How long will we keep running?

Jaeyul’s words, asking what I was so afraid of that I only tried to run, gave me a lot to think about.

“We’re not the ones who did anything wrong. So there was no need to run, and no need to hide.”

The past me and the current Jaeyul are simply victims.

The people who pushed us into that hell are living in luxury, controlling the Center without a shred of guilt, so why should we be the ones to back down?

“So you don’t have to quit either, Jaeyul.”

Of course, my mind wasn’t completely made up until this morning.

But the moment I saw Nadongchan’s treatment of Jaeyul, I made my decision.

What’s so scary about bastards like him who only use espers so much younger than themselves?

I don’t know if this choice will ultimately become the fuse that leads Jaeyul to become ‘X’, or if it will be the starting point of a change that prevents him from becoming ‘X’.

But one thing is certain.

I will support and assist Jaeyul in whatever he wants to do.

“Hyung. You’ve probably figured it out by now… but the Center isn’t so easy to deal with.”

“If it’s not easy to deal with, then we just have to make it easy.”

“…Huh?”

“Jaeyul-ah. Before that, there’s something we need to be clear about. Do you… have some kind of weakness the Center is holding over you?”

“A weakness? What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

I looked at Jaeyul and opened my mouth carefully.

If he wasn’t going to quit the Center, I needed to understand his current situation better.

“I don’t really get why you’re working so hard at the Center. I need to know your goal first so I can find a way to help you. Why… why are you working so hard?”

“…Well, at first, it was to find you, hyung. I had to do what the Center wanted to establish myself, and I had to establish myself quickly to get to a position where I could find you.”

This matched what I had learned from my conversation with Oh Seonggyu.

It didn’t sit well with me to hear he had worked so hard because of me, but I forced down my troubled heart.

According to Oh Seonggyu, Jaeyul had been burying himself in work even more lately than before he found me.

“Then what about now? Now that you’ve found me, why are you still working so hard?”

“…That… I don’t want to talk about it. What’s certain is that I don’t have a weakness they’re holding over me.”

This is rare.

For Jaeyul to have something he wants to keep secret from me.

“…But what is certain is that there’s something I absolutely want to achieve at the Center. It doesn’t matter if I don’t reach a high position.”

Something he wants to achieve….

I was incredibly curious about what it was, but for now, it was enough to know that Jaeyul wasn’t being manipulated by a weakness.

Furthermore, if he didn’t even have a desire for a high position, that was the cherry on top.

Ambition was the most convenient desire for the higher-ups at the Center to exploit.

He doesn’t have to overdo it like I did in the past, wanting to seem like an overly good person, wanting to be acknowledged by many.

He doesn’t have to fight reluctantly to protect sick comrades.

He can establish himself at the Center by being a little more cunning, a little more selfish.

I realized this only after I had failed in the past, but this time, it will be different.

“Listen carefully, Jaeyul-ah.”

I took Jaeyul’s hand and told him the plan I had been thinking of.

If we’re going to be part of the Center anyway, I absolutely refuse to be treated like trash.

This time, I’m going to live the way I want.

Without caring what anyone thinks.

***

“Jin Sehyeon-ssi?”

“Yes.”

“You’re here for the compulsory execution of the awakening examination, is that correct?”

Is it because the majority of people who come here under compulsory execution do so for unsavory reasons?

The attitude of the Support Agency employee toward me is really… unpleasant.

His eyes were filled with contempt, as if he were dealing with a pathetic piece of human trash.

“You, wait outside. And you, just you, follow me.”

“Who are you calling ‘you’ this and ‘you’ that. Hyung, why are the kids here so rude?”

Ah, it seems I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

The employee who had gestured at me and Jaeyul with his chin ended up getting an earful from Jaeyul.

“Let it go. Life must be tough for him. People tend to become like that when they have no leeway.”

Jaeyul let out an irritated sigh and took out his Special Abilities Center ID card, holding it out.

“Seoul 2nd Center Team Leader Seon Jaeyul… Huk! I-I’m sorry… well, how was I supposed to know? A B-rank esper? Ha, now all sorts of pathetic things are getting tangled up. Anyway, the guardian should wait outside.”

…Wow, that one’s a tough opponent.

No matter how much of a dream job the Special Abilities Support Agency is, it seems B-rank espers aren’t even seen as human.

“What guardian? I’m here for an examination too. Didn’t you see the application for a rank re-evaluation?”

At Jaeyul’s words, the employee quickly checked his tablet.

Jaeyul’s name would probably be there.

“Seon… Jaeyul. It’s here. Haa… follow me, both of you.”

“Ha, that bastard, really….”

I stopped Jaeyul from raising his fist at the back of the employee’s head as he walked ahead.

If you hit him with that fist of yours, you’ll put a hole in his skull, you punk….

“It’s fine, it’s fine. How many kids like that are there? Just let it be.”

“Hoo… hyung, but is this really the right thing to do?”

Jaeyul’s re-evaluation is also part of my plan.

“It’s not a question of right or wrong. It’s just about you getting the proper rank you should have received in the first place. Ah, open up.”

“Ah.”

I popped a Petra tablet into the pouting Jaeyul’s mouth, who looked worried about something.

The way he just opened his mouth to receive it looked just like the thirteen-year-old Jaeyul, and I found it cute.

After giving one to Jaeyul, I put a Petra in my own mouth.

I brought the highest-grade Petra today, especially.

Because it’s an important day.

“Jin Sehyeon-ssi, please enter examination room 2.”

“Hoo-ah… I’ll be back. You do well too. Let’s go home and eat something delicious when we’re done.”

I entered the examination room, leaving behind Jaeyul’s worried gaze.

I don’t know why he looks at me like I’m a child, considering my age.

If anything, I’m more worried about Jaeyul.

It felt so unfamiliar, entering an examination room after such a long time.

“Please place your hand on the machine in front, matching the palm shape.”

The voice speaking from beyond the glass wall came through the speakers into the examination room.

I remember standing here when I was seventeen.

Back then, I prayed so earnestly.

I begged the god I didn’t even believe in countless times.

‘Please, let me get a high rank!’

At the time, I thought getting a high rank would completely change my life.

Ah, it did change, but not in the direction I had hoped for.

This time, I honestly have no idea what rank I’ll get.

But it doesn’t matter what it is.

Even if I get a low rank, all I have to do is officially take the test and enter the Center.

It might take some time, but it should be possible within a year.

And for some reason… I have a slight conviction that I won’t get a very low rank.

“Beginning the examination. Please do not move.”

As I placed my palm on the examiner, I heard a whooshing sound from the machine.

And at the same time, I could feel the mana in my body being drained through my palm in real time.

What started as a subtle drain began to be absorbed at a faster and faster rate.

It was similar to guiding.

The difference was that I wasn’t the one in control; it was more like this machine was forcibly taking my power.

“…Ugh…!”

I have to endure.

I have to pour out all the power I have, until not a single drop of mana is left in my body.

I moved the mana flowing through my body toward my palm as much as possible.

As my mana depleted, my vision blurred, and my legs felt like they would give out.

Beep.

After what felt like an eternity, an automated tone from the machine signaled the end of the examination.

“You may go outside and wait. The test results will be out in a few minutes.”

I really, almost died.

No, you don’t die from taking an examination, but it was just that difficult.

When I was tested as an esper, I had to push my power in, but this time it was forcibly pulled out, so the feeling was strange.

It’s a sensation I don’t want to experience again.

“Are you okay, hyung? Drink this.”

“Oh… thanks. Are you done already? Or have you not gone in yet?”

As I came out of the examination room, Jaeyul, who had been waiting, handed me an iced Americano.

I don’t know where he found the time to buy this.

I took a sip of the cold coffee through the straw, and I felt some of my energy return.

“I finished the test, but… well, the thing is….”

Jaeyul looked at me with an awkward expression.

It’s just like that.

The way Poppy sneaks glances at me after causing trouble.

His eyes are darting around, trying to avoid my gaze…?

“What is it. It’s fine, just tell me.”

“Well… the machine exploded.”

“……”

What did I just hear?

“You told me to do it that way, hyung.”

“Did I… tell you to… destroy the examiner…?”

That’s strange.

I don’t remember ordering such a violent act.

“You told me to pour in all my strength. So I pushed it in without controlling it, and it just blew up.”

Now that I looked, the hallway was bustling.

I could see people rushing in and out of the examination room at the end of the hall.

It was clearly a picture of an unexpected accident.

I don’t know whether I should praise him for doing well, or what.

“…Did they say the test results are out…?”

“I don’t know. They told me to wait outside.”

“As long as we get the results we want, it’s fine. Who cares if their machine explodes or not.”

While Jaeyul and I were talking, the results were taking an unusually long time to come out.

Not only based on my past experience, but the ‘few minutes’ the employee mentioned had long since passed.

“Why is it taking so long…. Should I go and ask?”

Just as Jaeyul and I stood up from our seats, thinking we should go to the information desk to check.

Thud-thud-thud-thud!

From the end of the hallway, special ability agents in black combat suits started running toward us.

Seeing them approach at an intimidating speed, Jaeyul immediately took a defensive stance.

It was obvious to anyone that they were targeting us.

“What is this.”

In a flash, a dozen or so agents approached and surrounded us.

Even at a glance, they were a group of espers with considerable skill.

It seems… things have turned out differently from what I expected.