Chapter 34: The Witch, the Rope, and Schrödinger’s Cat

“No, that’s not it…”

Faced with Mia, who was throwing a tantrum because her identity as a witch was doubted, Xiao Xi felt a little dazed. Fortunately, his thoughts remained clear. ‘What kind of witch?’

‘It sounds incredibly strange, doesn’t it?’

“The reason I thought Miss Mia was a ghost is because there couldn’t possibly be anyone in the school late at night, could there? Especially not a beautiful girl who suddenly appeared?”

“Hey, don’t just talk about me! Aren’t you also standing here late at night, doing who knows what? In terms of behavior, Miss White Hair, you’re far more suspicious than I am!”

“Uh… I… I have a special situation! And you’re clearly far more suspicious than me! Your clothes are much stranger than mine! I’m wearing a school uniform, which is enough to prove I’m a student here, not some weird ghost lady!”

Xiao Xi insisted with unwavering conviction. Mia, displeased, turned her head away and retorted:

“Who isn’t? Don’t look down on me just because I’m the powerful Flame Witch. I’m also a student at this school, although… I only just transferred recently!”

“Uh…” Xiao Xi scrutinized Mia from head to toe. This person… well, he truly hadn’t seen her around the school before. However, if she claimed to have just transferred, it might not necessarily be a lie.

‘Hmm… but then again, could this person really be human?’

Xiao Xi began to find himself believing the words of the witch before him. Despite her strange attire and incomprehensible speech, it seemed they could still communicate normally.

Furthermore, if the person in front of him truly were some kind of ghost… wouldn’t he have been eaten by now?

Still, the other party remained highly suspicious. Speaking of which…

“What exactly is a witch? And does such a thing as magic truly exist in this world?”

“Hmm… a witch is a little sorceress who can use magic, you know. As I said before, I am Mia, the Flame Witch, and I wield the highest-tier fire-attribute magic. Though recently, I’ve also been practicing some enlightenment-type magic, like flight spells~”

“Uh…”

Xiao Xi watched as the person confidently patted her own chest, then fell into deep thought.

“Then… can you use Electrocute?”

“…”

Mia stared at Xiao Xi, blinking.

“What is Electrocute?”

“Ah… never mind!” Xiao Xi silently turned his head away, unwilling to let the other see his current awkward expression. ‘Help me, as soon as I hear anything about “enlightenment” or “inspiration” types, I automatically think of League of Legends keystone runes! Though mages really should take Arcane Comet.’

‘Is that person also like this? Read too many fantasy novels and manga? Developed chuunibyou? But this is high school! Most people would have outgrown that phase by now!’

‘Hmm…’

“I don’t believe it. Witches and all that, it’s too far-fetched…” Xiao Xi shook his head. “I think I’ll just go home and lie down. It’s getting dark, and I need to go home and shower.”

“Wait a moment!” Suddenly, Mia grabbed Xiao Xi’s arm. “I really can use flight magic! If you don’t believe me, look! I just flew from the rooftop to this corridor to find you!”

Mia babbled out an explanation. Xiao Xi looked up at the rooftop above. ‘Oh… right, now that she mentions it, Mia really did seem to descend from above!’

‘How… how did she do that? Could Mia actually fly?’

‘Wait…’

Xiao Xi noticed the rope in front of them again. He reached out and tugged on it, realizing the rope was tied to something, not simply floating in mid-air.

Following the rope upwards with his gaze, he saw that its end was fastened to a railing on the rooftop. Someone had tied one end of the rope to the roof and lowered the other end down to the protruding platform where they stood.

****

“Hmph hmph, how about that? Do you believe I can use flight magic now?”

“…”

“Miss White Hair? Hmph hmph~ Are you stunned already? Are you incredibly curious about my flight magic?”

“Ah… this… rather than flight magic, wouldn’t you call this an extreme sport?” Xiao Xi was still somewhat incredulous that someone would dare pull such a stunt, his mouth agape.

“Eh? What do you mean? Oh, don’t worry! When witches like us use flight magic, we grow wings. Flying is perfectly safe, not extreme at all!”

“Uh… are you saying you grew wings and then flew down?” Xiao Xi stared at Mia with a skeptical expression. Mia nodded earnestly, declaring with absolute certainty, “Yes!”

****

“You clearly just slid down this rope yourself! What ‘wings’ are you talking about? Why didn’t I see them? Don’t do such chuunibyou and idiotic things again! Otherwise, if there’s an accident, our whole school will be holding a funeral feast!”

Xiao Xi yelled his exasperated retort at Mia. Mia turned her head away, and after listening to his well-intentioned advice, she clicked her tongue…

“Tsk—”

“Hey, don’t ignore what I’m saying! Show me your hand!” Xiao Xi declared assertively. Mia gave him another disdainful look and continued, “Tsk—”

‘She’s provoking me!’

Xiao Xi instantly grew angry. He grabbed Mia’s hand, lifted it, and inspected her palm. Sure enough, there was a deep gash, likely from her hand being scraped while sliding down the rope!

“Next time, wear gloves! No… there won’t be a next time!”

“Tsk…”

“Still ‘tsk’-ing? I’m asking you, how do you explain this gash? Are you still going to deny you slid down the rope?”

“That’s… that’s just a burn from when I cast a Fireball spell. It’s nothing, really. My hand is already treated with flame-protection potion, so it won’t be too badly hurt. Besides, I am the Flame Witch; burns… I’m used to them!”

“What the hell? The Flame Witch can get burned by her own magic? Aren’t you a bit too weak, then? And you said you had wings, right? Where are they? Why didn’t I see them?” Xiao Xi continued his exasperated rant.

“Wings… well, you can’t see them simply because your heart isn’t pure! You don’t believe in the existence of magic, so naturally, you can’t see it! Your foolish human brain has automatically filtered out all magic to protect your weak self!”

“…”

Xiao Xi turned his head away, pondering for a moment. ‘What kind of ridiculous theory is that? Are you saying you can see all magic just by imagining it?’

“Hmph, you don’t understand, do you~ Miss White Hair, have you ever heard of Schrödinger’s Cat?”

‘Oh no… here we go again,’ Xiao Xi lowered his head, speechless. ‘Is this the legendary “when in doubt, invoke quantum mechanics”? But I’m just an ordinary high school student. Although I’ve heard rumors that Schrödinger’s cat gets severely tormented by various physicists every day, and I truly sympathize with that poor feline, I really can’t do anything about it…’

‘Besides, quantum physics? A high schooler with the brain of a middle schooler like me simply can’t understand any of that!’

“Hmph hmph, you don’t understand this either, do you~ Miss White Hair, you dare to claim magic doesn’t exist when you know nothing? You really need to learn a thing or two! Schrödinger’s Cat is this: if we put a cat and Chernobyl nuclear waste in a sealed container, then before opening the container, we can never be certain if the cat is dead or alive. In other words, the cat exists in a superposition of being half-dead and half-alive.”

“Uh…”

Xiao Xi nodded, half-understanding, half-confused. After a long moment, he looked up—

“That’s not right… A cat placed with nuclear waste… it’s definitely dead, no matter how you think about it, isn’t it? You’re even crueler to cats than those great physicists! Hey, are you listening? You’ve got it all wrong! Don’t just keep rambling on!”