Chapter 56: The Culinary Catastrophe and a Seductive Suggestion

“Welcome back~”

It was an opening strike!

The moment Xiao Xi pushed open the door, he saw Sister Yuan, clad in a black apron, waiting by the entrance and staring at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Danger!

“Hehe, Xiao Xi~ Will you eat first… or bathe first, or…”

“Will you let me eat you first?”

“Uh… isn’t that backward?” Xiao Xi frowned, puzzled by how these lines differed from those in anime.

“Hmph hmph, not at all. Could it be that Xiao Xi wants to eat me instead?” Sister Yuan chuckled mischievously.

Ah—! He was such a fool. He never should have taken the bait from Sister Yuan. Now, he was the one feeling shy…

Ahhh!

Don’t think about it, don’t think about it.

Xiao Xi vigorously shook his head, self-hypnotizing himself until he finally calmed down, facing the alluring Sister Yuan before him.

Phew~

Namo Amitabha, such a trivial trick dares to show off before an expert! Great Mighty Heavenly Dragon!

‘Facing such a captivating Sister Yuan, I won’t even lift my head! And sticking out my butt is even more impossible! Hmph, my resolve truly runs deep~’

Mhm mhm~

“Xiao Xi~ Hehe, don’t just stand there. Do you want some late-night snack? Your husband made you something to eat~ Hurry and praise me~”

Sister Yuan exclaimed happily, hugging Xiao Xi. Well, ahem, composure, composure! He happened to be a little hungry, and since Sister Yuan had a sudden whim to make a late-night snack, it wasn’t out of the question to try it…

Wait a minute?

Sister Yuan? Cooking?

Xiao Xi suddenly turned his head in horror towards the kitchen. He finally… finally understood where that thick smell of cooking oil on Sister Yuan was coming from!

Fire Hazard: EX!

Damn it!

Xiao Xi quickly rushed into the kitchen. Gazing at the room full of black smoke, he frantically shut off all the appliances inside.

Cough cough—cough cough—

Xiao Xi closed his eyes, feeling as if he was about to pass out. ‘Help, this… cough cough—’

‘I’m suffocating.’

Sister Yuan, still wearing her apron, quickly followed and dragged Xiao Xi out of the kitchen. At this moment, Xiao Xi was already frothing at the mouth, looking as if he was on the verge of collapsing. Sister Yuan was so anxious she was almost in tears. What should she do?

The usually imposing CEO was now a clumsy, flustered mess, pacing frantically in circles. Right… right! CPR!

Finally, having thought of a solution, Sister Yuan wiped away the tears that had welled up from her panic. She quickly bent down, aimed for Xiao Xi’s lips, and kissed him.

…

“Mmph! &@#¥*&*¥!*&…”

Xiao Xi, still barely conscious on the floor, desperately slapped the ground. Because Sister Yuan was kissing him, his words were slurred. Sister Yuan lifted her face, looking at the struggling Xiao Xi in confusion.

“Mmph mmph mmph! CPR should be blowing air! Not a wet kiss!”

Xiao Xi hammered the floor, shouting in indignation. Ah, this…

‘Is that how it works?’

Sister Yuan awkwardly wiped the saliva from the corner of her mouth, chuckling. Hehe~ It felt so good to kiss him~

“I’m truly speechless…” Xiao Xi lay on the floor, filled with grief and indignation. Closing his eyes, he wondered, ‘How did this happen? The kitchen was engulfed in black smoke, yet Sister Yuan stood at the door completely unharmed, waiting for me. Did… did she just turn on the stove and run?’

‘It’s a good thing I came back early, otherwise, I might have had to say my final goodbyes to Sister Yuan today. Hiss—it’s truly terrifying to think about now. I almost got dragged off to play with Senior Sister and the others tonight.’

At this thought, Xiao Xi broke out in a cold sweat. He no longer bothered with Sister Yuan’s antics. He immediately scrambled to his feet and rushed to the kitchen, opening all the windows and the range hood, then quickly checking for any hidden fire hazards.

Fortunately, everything was safe. Xiao Xi let out a sigh of relief. Sister Yuan followed behind him, lowering her head somewhat sheepishly, like a child who had done something wrong.

Xiao Xi stood rooted to the spot, gazing at the charred lump in the pot, pondering for a long time…

“Cough cough, this time it might have been a bit rusty, but… it’s still edible?” Sister Yuan murmured from the side, silently trying to brainwash Xiao Xi.

‘This… this is edible, my ass?’

‘I suspect Sister Yuan is trying to poison her own husband!’

With a heavy heart, Xiao Xi silently and ruthlessly tossed Sister Yuan’s ‘love bento’ from the pot into the trash can. He then turned his head, sternly warning her:

“From now on, Sister Yuan, you are not allowed to set foot in the kitchen!”

“Mmph…”

Sister Yuan understood that she had indeed messed up this time, but being lectured by Xiao Xi made her feel a little wronged. She pouted unhappily, complaining:

“Am I not even allowed to come into the kitchen to hug my wife while she’s cooking?”

“Mm… well, that… that’s fine…” Xiao Xi conceded, his heart softening.

Wait a minute…

Hiss—

He almost fell for her trick!

“No!” Xiao Xi immediately changed his mind, turning his head away. Sister Yuan’s recently recovered smile instantly vanished, replaced by a dejected expression. She poked her fingers together pitifully, asking:

“Why not?”

“Hmph, I don’t want to be teased while I’m cooking. Just watch those ‘chef’ scenarios in adult films! I don’t want to be disturbed when I’m cooking!”

“Mm… really? Don’t you want to be pampered when you’re cooking, Xiao Xi?” Sister Yuan looked at Xiao Xi with a hopeful expression.

“I never want to!”

Xiao Xi replied, his face flushed. Hearing this, Sister Yuan sighed regretfully. ‘What a shame~ I won’t be able to tease Xiao Xi while he’s cooking, I’m so sad~ I’ll just have to make up for it in bed!’

“Hmph, Xiao Xi is mean! I’m not talking to you!”

Sister Yuan turned her head away in protest, then observed Xiao Xi’s reaction out of the corner of her eye. ‘Mm~ as expected, he looks a bit flustered~ Hmph hmph, Xiao Xi is so dependent on me. If I act even a little angry, he starts to fear losing my affection~’

Hmph hmph~

“Mmph… Sister Yuan, don’t… don’t be angry, I’m just thinking about your safety~” Xiao Xi nervously poked Sister Yuan. She secretly chuckled, then pretended to be convinced and nodded, saying:

“Mm~ that’s true, Xiao Xi, you’re so thoughtful. Then, I won’t cook anymore from now on. I’ll leave everything to you, my wife~”

Eh?

Xiao Xi was dumbfounded. Ah, this… this…

‘That was your goal, wasn’t it, Sister Yuan?’

‘Why should I have to do all the cooking? I’m not a housewife!’

But…

‘He couldn’t find a reason to refute her. How annoying!’

“Well, since I won’t be entering the kitchen anymore, then—I won’t need to wear this apron, right? Xiao Xi, help me take it off~ I’m not very good at it~”

Sister Yuan leaned into Xiao Xi’s ear, whispering softly.

“Mmph…”

Xiao Xi stared blankly at Sister Yuan… helping, helping her take off her clothes… how… how suggestive.

Sister Yuan…

Sister Yuan’s eyes held an unspeakable emotion, making Xiao Xi’s mind suddenly go blank…

‘Don’t look at me like that…’

Xiao Xi felt his heart pounding faster. ‘What the! It’s just an apron! Why am I reacting like this!’

‘Oh, fine! I don’t care, I’ll take it off!’

Closing his eyes, Xiao Xi skillfully began to help Sister Yuan take off her apron without a word. ‘What a clumsy Sister Yuan, she can’t even take off an apron. Hmph… calm down, calm down, don’t get your hopes up!’

Mmph…

Open, open your eyes…

What greeted his sight was Sister Yuan’s fair skin, exposed to the air, and her mischievous smile~

“Oh my, Xiao Xi, does it look good?”

“Sis… Sister Yuan, you… you’re cheating! Who only wears an apron?”

“It’s hot~ Xiao~ Xi~”

“Mmph… no, Sister Yuan…”