Chapter 10: The Weight of Responsibility

“Student! I didn’t think you were like this, but no matter how much you fought with your little brother, how can you leave him at the police station!”

I have no idea what kind of state I was in while coming to the police station.

First, I hung up the call without fully understanding the officer’s request to come quickly and ran straight there.

As soon as I entered the police station, the officer grabbed me, and I still couldn’t understand what he was saying.

“…So, you’re saying I’m that kid’s older cousin…?”

“You said cousin! That kid’s mom left him with you for a moment!”

What on earth… is this…? I was so stunned by the absurdity of what I heard that I barely managed to gather my mind and speak.

“No. He lives with his stepfather, you know? Near my house?”

“Who is the stepfather?”

“…How should I know? The police have to find that out…?”

“No! How am I supposed to find a kid whose name and house I don’t even know! The kid doesn’t even know his own name properly, and I can’t run a background check.”

“Then, shall we go to his house together?”

The officer reluctantly followed me with a face full of annoyance.

The little kid, hanging his head like a criminal, followed behind.

Sigh… What did that tiny little guy even say…? First, I need to resolve this frustration, then think it through slowly.

“Phew… Do you live around here? The police car can’t even get up this hill.”

The officer sighed deeply at the entrance to our neighborhood. Just seeing the narrow street and the steep hill made him catch his breath.

We headed toward the house with the broken gate, the officer and the little kid in tow.

“This is the house…?”

“Yes. This is their house.”

The officer made a grimace. Probably because the place looked just like an abandoned house.

“Hello? Anyone home?”

At the officer’s voice, a presence responded from inside, and a woman peeked out.

“What… do you want?”

For a moment, I realized. That woman knew the little kid behind me. I didn’t know their exact relationship, but I didn’t miss the instant our eyes met.

“Does this kid live here? He said he’s from this house.”

“…That…! No? I don’t know him.”

Huh…? What…!

“Isn’t there a big guy living here? He must be the stepfather?”

“There’s no such person, so get out! I don’t know if that bastard is dead or alive, so get out!”

Something… has gone seriously wrong. I instinctively understood the situation, and surely the experienced officer did too.

But he didn’t seem willing to get deeply involved, and the previously quiet little kid sealed the twisted situation.

“Hyung… I was wrong… I’ll listen… please don’t leave me…”

With teary, damp eyes that seemed ready to spill, he grabbed my shirt’s hem tightly and spoke, leaving me speechless.

“Hmph. Can’t be helped. You take care of him properly. He’s your little cousin after all! If it’s too hard, go to the community center, not the police station, got it?!”

The officer… no, the police quickly fled the scene as if running away.

Probably, that woman is something like the kid’s stepmother. Or rather… the stepfather’s girlfriend. Not legally bound, which explains her brusque dismissal.

“…I’m sorry, I’m sorry… hyung…”

In the end, it was just the alley with the kid and me. He seemed aware of his mistake, kept his head down, and apologized first.

“Follow me quietly. I’m really angry.”

I needed time. Time to calm this anger and to think about what exactly was happening.

I walked home while thinking quickly, noticing the small steps following behind.

“Explain.”

“Are you… angry…?”

“I’m not angry, just explain.”

Anyway, I was the adult here, trying a rational conversation. Debating with a little kid who seemed ten but had the mind of a thirty-two-year-old would only be humiliating.

I had a soda, and he held his yogurt, sitting across from each other.

“…Judging by how red my ears are, you seem really angry…”

This kid was unnecessarily teasing me.

“Hmph! Hurry up.”

“Th-That is… I don’t want to go home….”

“Why?”

I think I already knew the reason well, but I asked anyway. The kid spoke slowly, like revealing a story he didn’t want to tell. It was long-winded, but the conclusion was simple.

“So the woman in that house is your stepfather’s girlfriend, paying the rent, so you just live there…? And your dad comes every few days and beats you…?”

“The beating… the woman does it too…”

It was a mess. Judging by the police not being able to verify the kid’s identity, neither the stepfather nor the girlfriend were legally recognized as family.

“So… I should go to an orphanage, but that’s… scary… My mom might come looking for me, and if I’m not there, I can’t meet her…”

“So that’s why you lied, saying I was your older brother?”

“…Yes… I… I was wrong…”

The kid finally broke into tears. Even so young, he seemed to understand his tragic life. The accumulated grief exploded endlessly.

How hopeless it must have felt. He didn’t want to return to that hellish house, nor stay alone at the police station with no one to come for him.

Sigh…

Even cigarettes I’ve never smoked felt dry. I wanted a shot of soju. I, too, had been in a similar situation. At fourteen, on my graduation day, everyone celebrated while I held my parents’ funeral.

I grew up poor, without relatives to help, unaware of even preparing a funeral hall. I hurriedly cremated, then returned to daily life alone. Since then, I had to endure the harsh gaze of the world alone. The cruelty my parents had shielded me from before was unbearable.

At school, at the community center, I was just a burden. Always demanding attention, adding trouble. I heard many suggestions to go to an orphanage until I grew up. Back then, I didn’t want to leave this house either. Even if shabby, it held all my memories.

“So, what will you do from now on?”

“……”

The kid paused for a long time, unable to answer. I decided to wait. I wanted to know why he lied.

“…I’ll go into the gate and earn money… the house… there are empty houses in the neighborhood, so I’ll sneak in and stay…”

Sigh.

I laughed bitterly.

“Th-Thank you… hyung…”

The kid seemed to interpret my laugh negatively. He slowly stood up and bowed.

“Thanks to you, I learned how to pick good stones in the gate, so I’ll be okay.”

Trying to act brave, maybe. He smiled with tears hanging from his eyes, then put on the gloves I gave him carefully and turned to leave. He intended to enter the gate again.

Until that small back vanished from sight, I didn’t move a step. My mind was too confused. My heart was too noisy.

Why.

I just don’t understand. He’s just a little kid from the neighborhood. Someone I’ve only met a few times. Yes, objectively, his situation is pitiful. I understand that his hard life is starting already, like he carries all the misfortune in the world.

Just as poverty was like family to me from birth, this misfortune is his constant companion. But what of it. Everyone bears some burden in life. I used to try to help, but I realized such help often does nothing. They’d all turn their backs anyway, so there’s no value in doing good initially.

But… is it okay to place such a burden on that small back already…? My heart is uncomfortable. Ah… yes. This is for me. Not for him, but to make myself feel at ease.

I ran out of the house without properly tying my shoes. Finding the answer that this is for my peace of mind made me feel refreshed.

“Kiddo.”

He was crouched at the front door of the first floor of our building. His already small body looked even tinier.

I slid my hand under his armpits and lifted him up.

“Give me your gloves. I thought about it and I can’t give them because they’re too expensive.”

He looked at me with a stunned expression, clearly not understanding what was happening.

“If you’re going to live with me from now on, never go into the gate, got it?”

After staring blankly for a while, he finally understood and his face crumpled into a crying expression again.

With a loud wail and tears, he smiled for the first time properly. Ah, this is the smile I wanted to see. Finally, my heart felt complete and peaceful.

Yes. Let’s live once. I have no idea what the future holds, but at least we’ll live like humans… together.