Chapter 123: You Chose Me

“I’ve been anxious, all along.”

Philius said while holding Jay’s earlobe in his mouth.

There was no need to ask what made him so anxious. The temperature of his hand, slightly higher than usual as if warmed by touching Jay’s bare skin, already gave the answer.

Just as Philius is the only family to Jay now, it was the same for Philius. His parents didn’t care for him even when he was young, and his half-brother tried to kill him coveting the power he possessed. His relationship with his cousin, the Queen, was merely political.

To him, Jay was his only partner, and family.

It is the day they were officially recognized as tied within one fence. It doesn’t matter what others think, but sometimes such formalities approached as immense joy.

The scent of the forest deepened further.

Once, he thought the scent emanating from him was terrible. Thinking that the reason his father could love his recessive Omega mother freely was rather possible because her power was weak. Maybe because he already had a grown Alpha son, he didn’t need a stronger child. Thinking he was abandoned because he was given power he shouldn’t have had.

He thought not receiving even a proper name was all because of this terrible scent.

It was natural for Philius to hate his name. The name hardened as it was called roughly because a proper name couldn’t be decided had no meaning. It just seemed to indicate that his existence itself came into being without special meaning.

Actually, what does a name matter? Since a name is originally to distinguish from others, trying to find special meaning might have been unnecessary.

Philius after losing both parents thought so.

“Phil…”

Jay called Philius as if knowing that heart. The name called by his mouth contained a completely different meaning.

It seemed to soothe Philius saying he wasn’t wrong.

“What, are you thinking?”

Jay said fumbling Philius’s lips swollen from sucking plenty.

The eyes slightly upturned looking sharp, however, looked at Philius with a gentle gaze.

Sometimes Philius felt a sense of immorality.

At the thought that he raised him even though they are of similar age. At the thought that he is preventing him from growing further.

Jay’s world was narrow. To him, even this mansion, which is just a tiny piece of the world, would feel wide.

It was Philius himself who made it so.

To make an excuse, it wasn’t his intention at first. It was sincere that he wanted to give him a chance to live in the world. He hoped to bestow the opportunity he didn’t receive to someone. He also knew the fact that this relationship wouldn’t last forever.

But it was Philius himself who became obsessed with the relationship. Because Jay became his only hope, he didn’t want to lose it.

Simultaneously, Philius could realize that Jay wasn’t someone who would just stay trapped in the world within his reach.

That fact made him proud but also scared on the other hand. Because he knew better than anyone that the time would come when he would fly away.

So Philius had no choice but to wait. For Jay to walk to him.

For him to hold his hand.

Because he knew the fact that even if he held him recklessly, Jay wouldn’t accept him sincerely.

But at this moment, Jay was in his arms. Like a miracle.

Philius didn’t believe in God. So he couldn’t think there would be a separate entity granting miracles.

The only object that could receive Philius’s worship and adoration was now trapped in his arms.

Looking back, the reason he could endure on the battlefield of the New Continent was thanks to the fact that Jay stopped where his hand could reach.

Leaving the King’s corruption as evidence even by doing somewhat dangerous things was for the same reason.

When he met Rut on the battlefield, thanks to imprinting on Jay, it didn’t feel just painful like before, but his physical condition wasn’t clear either.

He knew that pretending to endure the Rut with the excuse of inspecting the battlefield would flow to the King through Captain Rassett. Also that the King would inform the Petan side of his location.

So he knew he could really die.

There were actually quite dangerous moments. The reason he could escape when surrounded by the Petan army was thanks to the powerful force during Rut that he hated so much.

Thanks to the power that erased even traces of being hit by bullets, he could stand here.

Therefore, Philius no longer hesitated to show off his power to others.

“M-monster! It’s a monster!”

The Petan army back then called him a monster. He remembers the pale faces looking at him bleeding. Just as everyone else except Jay did, they also stepped back.

But Philius knew. If it’s Jay, if it’s Jay who never once feared him, instead of cursing at him or retreating due to fear like others, he would say it’s a relief that he returned alive.

Philius rubbed his nose on the crown of Jay’s head. Inhaled the lilac scent coming from him deeply.

He probably doesn’t know how much joy the moment he said he also imprinted on him brought.

It was like holding the world in his hands.

Perhaps his world is also narrow. No, it’s clearly a very narrow-minded and distorted world.

It didn’t matter. Philius no longer wanted to be recognized and loved by everyone.

The clothes barely hanging on Jay’s body eventually flowed down. It wasn’t just a feeling that the lilac scent seemed to thicken.

Philius kissed hurriedly all over the revealed body. He felt Jay’s hand digging into his hair.

It was something he couldn’t even imagine.

Jay accepting him was the end of his imagination. Thinking about what happens after that felt like committing a sin.

“Jay.”

Philius, who lowered his lips along his body line, was now in a posture kneeling and looking up at him. At Philius’s call, Jay lowered his head leaning against the door.

“Jay…”

When their gazes met, Jay’s lips drew an arc. Philius couldn’t help calling his name like a moan.

The corners of Jay’s eyes were flushed red. His lips were thoroughly wet with his saliva.

Philius raised his hand and grabbed the exposed nipple. The nipple swollen from rubbing plenty last night too rose stiffly at a slight stimulation. As soon as he saw the nipple becoming pointed, Philius put it into his mouth hastily.

“Ah…!”

The hand digging into Philius’s hair pulled him closer. Jay’s blurry voice was soon blurred by Philius’s smacking mouth sounds.

It felt like his hair stood on end. Philius was stimulated by the small grain hardening more and more in his mouth.

“It hurts…”

When strength drained from the hand pulling his head, Philius had no choice but to take his mouth off. The nipple tasted plenty was swollen puffy unlike the other one. That unbalanced confrontation rather attracted Philius’s heart. He hurriedly pulled down Jay’s pants.

“Here, right here?”

Jay’s voice, not moving a step from the door, was already trembling. Philius nodded and confessed.

“Anxiety doesn’t go away.”

Pfft, the faint laughter flowing from Jay was like permission.

Philius stripped off all clothes covering his body while keeping him leaning against the door.

Seeing the revealed s*x, Philius also couldn’t hide his laughter.

Jay’s s*x was already fully erect.

“It seems I wasn’t the only one expecting.”

As Philius spoke, Jay’s hand placed on his head slipped down. Jay’s face looking down from above was flushed red.

“Do it.”

Jay’s demand always excited Philius. Because it made him recognize again the fact that he wasn’t the only one wanting him.

Therefore, he wanted to hear informal language in daily life too, and Jay was getting used to his demand slowly but little by little.

“Ah…!”

When he licked the inside of the thigh, Jay rang his voice again. Glancing sideways, a small water droplet hung at the tip of the s*x. Lest the precum starting to leak falls, Philius quickly put the s*x into his mouth up to the root. Jay’s light-colored body hair tickled the tip of his lips.

Feeling like laughter would come out again, Philius put strength into his lips and sucked Jay’s s*x. A bitter taste spread in his mouth at once.

“Ungh, ungh…”

He reached out one hand and fumbled the corner of Jay’s mouth spilling moans repeatedly. Then he bit Philius’s finger without hesitation. The not-so-wide mouth could be stirred freely with just two fingers. Philius applied his saliva fully on his fingers. Knowing well what the intention was, Jay also helped his movement with his tongue.

When he pulled out the thoroughly wet fingers, Jay’s eye color darkened further. Almost close to black.

At the clearer color contrast, Philius’s heart became more urgent.

The taste spreading thicker in his mouth felt sweet too. It was a taste matching perfectly with the sweet lilac scent.

Philius rubbed the back hurriedly with wet hands.

The entrance, tightly wrinkled and closed, opened slowly welcoming his intrusion.