Chapter 13: The Weight of a Small Warmth

“Jaeyul, are you looking down on me too much?”

I deliberately spoke in a lighter tone and pinched the cheek of the boy who was drooping gloomily.

“Ugh, ah…!”

“Hey, do you know how good your big brother is at making money?
And what, were you planning to just take what I give you and pretend you didn’t?”

With his cheeks pinched, he squirmed and shook his head.

He looked so cute that I wanted to tease him more, but his skin was fair and soft, and I was afraid I might hurt him, so I quickly let go.

Fortunately, his expression looked better than before.

“This isn’t free!
You’ll pay me back later.
I’m investing in you right now — an investment.”

“…Investment…?”

“Yeah, investment.
When you grow up, you can pay me back several times over, with interest.
And what I’m giving you today is a gift.
A gift is something you just say ‘thank you’ for and accept with gratitude.”

“Ah… A gift is like that…?”

As if realizing something new, Jaeyul’s face slowly brightened.

He asked if he could try them on, then busily began putting on the clothes and shoes.

I had only guessed the sizes by eye, but they fit perfectly — what a relief.

Seeing him smile nonstop, I forced a smile myself.

The words he said earlier still lingered in my mind — asking if I’d start hating him if he cost me too much money.

A child like him shouldn’t have to think such thoughts.
How did his heart end up growing up before the rest of him?
I couldn’t even bring myself to ask who might have told him something like that.

“Do you like it?”

A bit of guilt crept in.
To be honest, the reason I gave him these gifts was purely for myself.
He’s living with me after all — I couldn’t have him looking like some homeless kid.
People are watching, after all; what would they think of me?

The clothes, shoes, and phone were all the cheapest I could find, yet he was so happy.
The price wasn’t even equal to the desserts I usually snack on.

“Yeah! I love them!”

Seeing him that happy… sometimes giving gifts didn’t feel so bad.
At that rate, it was quite a cost-effective expense.
Even if it meant spending almost everything I earned today.

“Since you’ll be going back to school next week, make sure you pack your supplies, okay?”

It had already been a few weeks since I started living with Jaeyul.
So this is what it feels like to have all your energy drained.
Honestly, taking care of a kid wasn’t as bad as I thought.
He didn’t require much attention — it just felt like sharing my living space.

But lately, I’d been struggling for days to sort out his school situation.
Thankfully, his old school wasn’t far from here, but apparently he hadn’t attended for quite a while after moving up to sixth grade.
The school didn’t seem very welcoming either.
I had to run around to the local office and community center for all sorts of paperwork — I almost couldn’t get him re-enrolled.

To be honest, he doesn’t need to go to school.
Soon, this whole country’s systems will start collapsing from the series of Gate Breaks.
Survival will matter far more than school.
But I didn’t like the idea of him being home alone all day while I was out, and besides — a person should at least finish elementary school.

“Mm… I packed everything…”

He made it clear with his whole body that he didn’t want to go to school, but I ignored it.
This wasn’t something to negotiate.
Tuck your lip in, kid.

“Then let’s go shopping together — it’s been a while.”

“Okay!”

So he was pretending.
As soon as I said we were going out together, he perked right up.
He even put on his coat and grabbed the shopping bag on his own — like a puppy waiting for a walk.
I naturally picked him up in my arms.

“Ugh, you’re heavy.
Have you gained weight, Jaeyul?”

Half-joking, half-serious.
He really had been putting on some weight day by day.
When I first met him, he was so skinny he looked like a refugee, but lately he’d been filling out, looking so much cuter.
Especially those cheeks — round and soft, they made me want to press them over and over again.

“R-really? Am I that heavy…?”

Of course, he wasn’t heavy at all, but seeing him sulk like that made me want to tease him more.

“I’m joking.
I could carry you forever, Jaeyul.”

He could walk just fine, but recently he’d fallen while going down the stairs at home.
The steps were narrow and steep, so I decided to carry him until we reached flatter ground.

“Then when I grow really, really big, will you still carry me?”

…That’s such a far-off story.
Would we even still be together by then…?

“Yeah.
I’ll carry you forever.”

But I couldn’t tell a child what I was really thinking.
He already worried I might kick him out one day — there was no need to add more to that.
Still, I should probably try to find out about his real mother someday.
What on earth happened to her?

“Let’s walk from here.”

“……”

“Jaeyul…?”

As I stepped outside, down the steep hill and toward the main road, I tried to set him down — but he stayed silent in my arms.
Even when I shook him slightly, he didn’t move.
Apparently… he’d fallen asleep, still hugging my neck.

…What do I do?
I’m starting to get tired myself.
Sigh… this troublesome kid.
Why did he have to fall asleep now of all times?
Guess I’ll have to carry him all the way to the market.
What a life….

“Good night, hyung!”

“Good night, Jaeyul.”

Such a good kid.
He goes to bed at eight every night — what kind of child does that anymore?
He never whined to play on his phone longer, either.
Especially when he was with me, he almost never looked at a screen.
So different from other kids these days.

“Phew…”

After confirming he was asleep, I sat cross-legged on the living room floor — basically my room now.
Closing my eyes, I calmed my mind and focused on the mana near my heart.
I’d lost count of how many days I’d been trying.
It felt like I was right at the edge of awakening — but couldn’t cross that last step.

“Damn it…”

Anxiety was starting to grow.
Maybe something went wrong when I came back to life.
Maybe… I lost my special ability and became just an ordinary person.

Could I really live as an ordinary person with no power?
Of course, I had no intention of joining a special unit again to protect others — I’d learned how meaningless that was in my past life.
But not using my power and not having it were worlds apart.

Soon, countless Gate Breaks would flood the world with monsters.
Even with all the special agents fighting together, hundreds and thousands would die every day.
Could I really survive that, while taking care of a child?
Impossible.
Completely impossible.
I had to find a way.

As I racked my brain, an idea struck me.
I opened the living room drawer.
Inside an empty snack box were the Petras I’d collected from Gates.
Among them were two unusual ones — one was a large, blue-glowing Petra I’d found last time.
When I discovered it, another one had been hidden inside.

In one hand, I held the blue Petra.
In the other, the pitch-black one.
Just looking at the black Petra made me uneasy.
It was so strange that it made the rare blue one seem normal by comparison.
I’d never seen or heard of anything like it.

Still, Petra could help me.
In the past, consuming high-grade Petras had caused mana to skyrocket, even awakening ordinary people.
Though not fully understood, it was known to help ability users somehow.
It might just work on my stagnant awakening too.

“…It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.”

I repeated the words to myself like a spell.
Calming my heart, I put one back in the drawer and swallowed the other.
The moment I did, something inside me surged violently.
This was it — awakening, without a doubt.
I’d chosen the black Petra, and it seemed to be working.

Finally!
I quickly sat cross-legged again.

“Ha, haah…!”

But something immediately went wrong.
An unbearable heat flooded my entire body, making it hard to breathe.
It felt like I was being thrown naked into a burning furnace.
I clawed at the floor, thrashing in agony.
Something’s wrong.
This must be a side effect of the black Petra…

“Ah, ugh…!”

The pain was excruciating — to the point I wished it would just end.
My body couldn’t withstand it, and my consciousness began to fade.
Slowly, the pain dulled as all sensation left my body.
Only then did I realize what was happening.

Right.
This wasn’t awakening — it was manifestation.
The manifestation… of an Omega.