Chapter 18: A Night Burned Down to the Bone

When my words ended, Gyesa lowered his lips to my neck and bit down hard.

“Ah—!”

A moan burst out along with the sharp pain.

He buried his face along my neckline and whispered.

“Even if you regret it, it’s too late.

It’s already….”

Gyesa moved his hands without pause, stripping away my skirt, jacket, and undergarments alike.

Unlike before, we weren’t outside, yet the moment my body was exposed to the air, a chill ran through me.

It wasn’t my body that felt cold—it was my heart.

Gyesa slowly traced downward, from my collarbone to my softly swelling chest, then to my flat lower belly.

While my body heated up beneath his touch, my heart grew unbearably sad.

Perhaps Gyesa’s heartache had spread to me.

I reached out and held him tightly.

“Don’t look back, Gyesa.”

He stayed quietly in my arms.

I tightened my grip and spoke again.

“Don’t hesitate either.”

After a brief moment held like that, Gyesa gently laid me back onto the bedding.

Then he removed his own upper garments.

Marks of violence still marred his pale body.

I lifted my hand and slowly traced the bruises blooming blue against his skin.

“Does it hurt?”

At my question, Gyesa looked down at me in silence.

From the deepened darkness in his eyes and the rigid set of his face, I could tell.

His heart hurt more than his body.

“Don’t be in pain.”

As I murmured weakly while stroking his bruises, Gyesa lowered himself and bit deeply into my swollen chest.

“Ah—!”

His hair brushed against my skin as his head moved down my chest and stomach.

Unlike the ticklish sensation of his hair, his teeth were sharp, almost animalistic.

The pain felt less like he was biting my flesh and more like he was tearing into my heart.

Dark red blossoms bloomed across my pale skin.

As if claiming territory, he left his marks on my chest, stomach, arms, thighs—everywhere.

“Nh… ngh.”

I swallowed my sounds, stifling my moans.

But when his lips reached my scarred calf, even he froze—and so did I.

“Gyesa.”

When I called him in a trembling voice, he lowered his eyes and bit hard into the scar.

“Ah…!”

It should have been a place with duller sensation.

Yet strangely, the pain there flared sharper than anything before.

He drew out his long tongue and slowly licked upward.

At the dizzying sensation so different from before, I hurriedly covered my mouth to muffle my cry.

“Ah—!”

Holding my leg still as it twitched, he gnawed like a bird pecking at feed.

After a long while of tormenting my tender flesh, Gyesa lifted his body and reached between my legs.

With long fingers, he traced up the slick, soaked seam.

“Hng!”

He loosened his waistband.

As his trousers and underclothes fell, an unfamiliar red shape sprang free.

Unlike his pretty, reserved face, what belonged to Gyesa was large and intimidating.

No matter how resolved I was, the sight made me hesitate.

Slightly curved upward, wrapped in thick veins like armor, his arousal looked almost like an enraged serpent.

“What.

Are you scared now?”

Had he noticed my stare?

Gyesa scoffed.

“Don’t force yourself.

You can stop even now.”

The anxiety in his voice cleared my head instead.

Why did he keep testing me like this?

Wasn’t the one truly afraid… him?

When I was with you, I wasn’t afraid at all.

Biting my lip hard, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him close.

When his burning heat met my already soaked entrance, a small moan escaped us both.

He squeezed his eyes shut, then clenched his teeth.

I met his gaze directly.

“I’m not scared at all.”

“You….”

“How could I ever be scared of you?”

“Damn it…!”

I opened my arms and wrapped them around his neck.

A muttered curse brushed my ear, and then searing pain tore through me.

“——!”

“Hng…!”

My eyes flew open, breath trapped between parted lips, unable to escape.

At the agony I’d never known before, my arms and legs clinging to him trembled violently.

Still, I bit down hard and endured.

Perhaps Gyesa was just as shocked—

a sound like a strained sigh slipped from him.

For a long moment, we stayed like that, locked together, unable to move.

Cold sweat slid down my spine.

The pain of being forced open made me bite my lower lip until I tasted blood.

When my lip finally split, Gyesa lifted his head, looked between my bleeding mouth and pale face, then lowered himself to lick my lips.

The way he tended to me like a wounded animal made my eyes sting with tears.

He could have taken me selfishly.

Yet instead, he was trying—instinctively—to ease my pain.

It wasn’t deliberate.

It was care born without thought.

Even while sweating himself, Gyesa stayed still, only lowering his body to press kisses over me.

The lips that had spat cruel words about leaving gently soothed me in secret.

In the end, a single tear slipped from the corner of my eye.

After a long while, as my body slowly adjusted to the lips tormenting me and the passage stretched beyond its limits, I finally managed to breathe.

Perhaps a bodily instinct to reduce pain—

the tight junction slowly grew slicker, eased by flowing moisture.

After steadying my breath, I cupped Gyesa’s cheeks and kissed him.

Taking it as a signal, he slowly withdrew, then pressed back in again.

“Hhh….”

Each slow thrust of his size felt like my insides were being pulled apart.

As I tried to bite my lip again, he pushed his tongue in instead.

If he hadn’t taken my strength first, I might have bitten him.

Yet he didn’t seem to mind, mixing tongues while moving gently.

How many times did our hot breaths mingle, our bodies meet?

Gradually, my body loosened enough to accept his movements.

“Ha….”

Ragged breaths spilled from my lips.

Though soft, Gyesa must have heard—

he began to move a little faster.

“Ah, ah… ahh…!”

Each careful yet bolder thrust drew broken moans from me.

Gyesa was a cautious, meticulous hunter.

His patience was immense.

He focused entirely on my reactions.

Noticing my eyes soften and cheeks flush, he grew more daring.

“Nh, ah—!”

When he thrust hard and struck a spot deep inside, a cry burst free.

As my inner walls clenched around him, Gyesa groaned sharply.

“Ghk….”

From then on, his eyes gleamed darkly as he ground his teeth and moved with force.

With each faster thrust, my body shook helplessly beneath him.

“G-Gyesa….”

The pain hadn’t vanished completely.

But if it was pain given by Gyesa—

if it meant I could hold on to him—

I would accept it gladly.

Indeed, the burning heat below grew unbearably sensitive.

His movements scraped relentlessly against tender places.

The thick, uneven length grinding within me made my body feel unfamiliar.

Raw pain mixed with sensations I’d never known, leaving me undone.

Everything he gave me was a first.

This union—so different from the one we’d once promised for after leaving the circus—

felt fueled only by anger and obsession.

Yet even this unfamiliar Gyesa, I couldn’t help but love.

Above me, the beautiful face twisted with effort was unmistakably that of a man.

Eyes heavy with desire wanted me without disguise.

How could I ever leave you, when I can feel it even without words.

“G-Gyesa… ah…!”

Each time I called his name, he shut his eyes tight and thrust deeper.

With that lawless invasion, I had no choice but to give him everything.

Sorrow, guilt, despair, love.

I wanted to burn this entire night with them as fuel.

If the flames consumed us, that would be fine too.

Anything, so I wouldn’t have to think.

Clinging desperately to his neck, I lifted my hips.

The clumsy motion must have struck him just right—

his eyes flashed frighteningly bright.

“Not knowing fear….”

Leaving those words behind, Gyesa began to thrust wildly.

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