Chapter 15: The Stage Where Fates Are Measured

“Leave it.

With the audience thinning day by day, he’s probably getting anxious.”

Madam Spider replied indifferently to his complaint.

That must have rubbed Ggeoksoe the wrong way, because he twisted his torn, scarred lips into a sneer and mocked her openly.

“Oh, please!

It’s not that—it’s because of that damn mess that broke out.

Don’t you know that on the days when that money-hungry demon starts wagging his tongue, it’s people with debts like us who end up dead?”

“Oh, honestly.

Why do you twist everything that way?

No matter how much of a money demon he is, he’ll leave things alone until the show is over.”

“Twisting things?

If the performance results are bad at this Jeonsang Market, the first ones to get sold off will be debtors like us.

And all because that useless cripple and that bastard Gyesa stirred up trouble….”

Ggeoksoe shot a sharp look at me as I did menial work behind the stage and hurled his cutting words my way.

At his resentful outburst, Madam Spider slowly furrowed her brows.

“That’s enough.

It’s unpleasant to hear.”

“Hah!

A girl who can’t do a single trick—she could at least sell her body.

But instead she hides behind that Gyesa fellow and does nothing.”

“I told you to stop, didn’t I?

I’m already exhausted from all the empty seats—do you really have to run your mouth like that?”

Madam Spider snapped back harshly, glaring at Ggeoksoe with venomous eyes.

Unable to continue, Ggeoksoe only muttered curses under his breath, grumbling sullenly.

Just as Madam Spider said, with Gyesa injured and Obaltan gone, there was a gap in the performances.

To fill it, the remaining members had to push themselves harder than usual.

Today’s show, in particular, had fewer people, but the village head of Yeongsan-ri had brought townsfolk with him, so the ringmaster was paying close attention.

Because of that, no one dared say anything openly in front of the ringmaster or his deputy.

Instead, they cast sidelong glares at me and muttered unkind remarks.

“Men with long tongues.

So damn noisy.”

It was unexpected to hear Madam Spider, who I thought would be the loudest in her insults, speak like that.

When I stared at her quietly, she glanced my way.

“What are you staring at?

Why don’t you fetch some water instead?”

Her reply was as curt as ever.

But over her prickly expression, I could see the gentle woman she once was, before she lost the child she carried.

“Madam Spider is a really strong woman.

Even after such a tragedy, she still lives on today.”

I suddenly recalled what Obaltan had once said when I cried after being snapped at by Madam Spider, who had grown irritable.

Back then, I hadn’t understood his words, but now I thought I did.

After losing her child and her husband while performing in this circus, she chose not to cling to hope, but to endure without collapsing.

Somehow, she managed to live through another day.

‘Abandoning hope might be the way to survive….’

But I couldn’t do that.

As long as Gyesa was here, I couldn’t abandon hope, nor could I break.

“What are you standing there spacing out for, you useless b*tch.

Get out and check the lights at least!”

The ringmaster, who had returned at some point, spotted me sitting off to the side of the waiting room and immediately flew into a rage.

There was no way the lit bulbs would suddenly go out, but enduring his abuse felt worse, so I nodded and stepped outside the tent.

Darkness had fallen everywhere.

Chipped lightbulbs strained to illuminate the area around the tent.

Their desperate glow, blazing fiercely as if in their final moment, looked almost solemn.

I slowly walked along the path the audience would have taken.

As expected, there was nothing wrong with the lights.

“Haha!

Look at that!”

“Oh my, how ridiculous!”

Laughter and jeers from the sparse audience burst out from inside the tent.

When the spectators walked this path to see the clowns’ strange acts, what were they feeling?

Anticipation?

Expectation?

Joy?

“I should go back.”

Once, I had dreamed of that too.

A dream of coming to see rare wonders, hand in hand with family.

But now, as a mere errand runner who couldn’t even perform and whose future outside the circus was uncertain, recalling such dreams was meaningless.

“Um… e-excuse me….”

Just as I turned to head back behind the stage, a rustling sound and a small voice came from behind me.

At first, I thought I’d imagined it and kept walking.

“E-excuse me…!”

But when hurried, heavy footsteps followed and a thick hand grabbed my wrist, I couldn’t help but whirl around in shock.

“W-who are you?

Why are you doing this?”

A man I had never seen before stood there.

With shaggy hair, a hunched posture, and rough breaths puffing from his nose, he smacked his chapped lips nervously.

“Ah, no… I mean….”

“Let go first, then talk!”

I twisted my trapped wrist, but his grip only tightened.

“A-are you with the circus?”

His dark face was flushed as he spoke, yet he showed no intention of letting go.

As my wrist began to ache and I wondered if I should kick his shin, a sharp voice rang out behind us.

“Hey!

What are you doing there?

Why aren’t you coming in?”

It was Madam Spider.

She held a cigarette in her hand.

She must have stepped out to smoke and discovered the scene.

The moment he saw her, the man panicked and released my wrist.

I took the chance to run to her.

I heard his stammering voice behind me, but I didn’t look back.

“Get inside.

Don’t even think about slacking off.”

She spoke coolly, but her arm wrapped around my shoulders protectively as she guided me into the tent.

She didn’t forget to shoot the man a venomous glare.

The man scratched the back of his head awkwardly before heading toward the circus entrance.

“Where did you wander off to?

Honestly… the nerve, trying to ditch work.”

When I returned, the ringmaster scolded me as if he’d forgotten he was the one who sent me out.

Since this kind of nitpicking was nothing new, I swallowed my rising sigh.

“f*ck.

Ignoring me?

Hey, you b*tch—!”

The ringmaster stood up and strode toward me with a scowl.

As he drew closer, I caught a faint whiff of alcohol.

It seemed he’d been drinking even during the performance.

“Boss, the village head says he’d like a word with you.”

Just as he seemed ready to raise his hand, the ringmaster hesitated at the deputy’s call and slowly lowered his clenched fist.

“Damn it…

Consider yourself lucky.

Clean up and stay put!”

He stormed out of the tent, snorting angrily.

Watching his back, I let out a deep sigh.

After taking everything from us, what did he still have to be so angry about?

I pressed down the familiar surge of rage and moved to tidy up.

“Alright, everyone, come out!”

Even after frantically cleaning and tending to the performers for a long while, the ringmaster didn’t return.

The show moved toward its finale, and a call came for everyone to go on stage to greet the audience.

Since greetings were for the ringmaster and the performers, I naturally turned toward Gyesa’s tent.

But as I stepped away, a curt voice stopped me.

“Hey.

You too, come out.”

“Me?

Why would I—.”

“How would I know?

If I say come out, then come out!”

In over ten years with the circus, this had never happened before.

Frowning, I followed behind the others onto the stage.

The lights were so bright they made my eyes sting.

“This is Madam Spider, the master of tightrope walking.”

Each time the ringmaster introduced a performer, smiles spread across the audience and applause erupted.

Still, I had no idea why I was standing on this stage.

Squinting under the blinding lights, I suddenly spotted that rude, strange man from earlier sitting in the front rows.

His cheeks were flushed as he stared straight at me.

‘This feels awful.’

I frowned and turned my head away.

But there was no escaping that persistent gaze.

“And what talent does that young woman over there have?”

When the introductions ended, an elderly man who looked like the village head, seated beside the man, asked pompously.

It was the ringmaster who answered.

“This child has no particular talent.”

“Oh?

Then what does she do in the circus?”

“She handles miscellaneous chores.”

The village head and the ringmaster went back and forth, talking about me.

Watching that ridiculous exchange—and the man grinning beside the village head—a bad feeling crept up my spine.

“I see!

A young woman of marriageable age, wandering about like this—how long can that last?”

“What do you mean by that?”

At the ringmaster’s question, the village head cleared his throat and patted the shoulder of the man beside him.

“This young fellow here is my son.

He’s been so busy working that he missed his chance to marry.”

“Ah, is that so?

Such a fine-looking son, still single!”

The ringmaster exaggerated his reaction, though his words were far from true.

Fine-looking, my foot….

“So, what do you say to pairing our Dongsoe with that young woman over there?”

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