Chapter 27: Closed Windows, The Gray Mansion

“Why can’t you let me go? Why!”

I was always irritated by you and never knew what to do with it.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

“What’s it to you?”

So sometimes I ignored you as if you didn’t exist.

Other times, I acted so cold that even I found myself detestable.

“I don’t want to call you a rat.”

But whether you were simply clueless, or whether my sharp temper didn’t frighten you at all, Aedong always looked at me with those round, transparent eyes sparkling brightly.

Whenever I looked into those eyes, I felt strangely unsettled.

Who knew what schemes might be hiding behind that friendly face, yet without realizing it, I found myself wanting to fall for it and believe in her sincerity completely.

‘Everyone in this circus troupe is rotten.

So that girl must be the same.’

Back then, I thought I was the most pitiful person in the world.

A plague swept through the village, killing my mother, father, and siblings, leaving only me alive.

Without a moment’s hesitation, my uncle and aunt sold me off.

Before I could even mourn my family’s deaths, I was dragged away by the ringmaster, whose eyes were slyly slanted, and forced to leave my hometown.

The first sight of Chunrak Circus dazzled my eyes with its overwhelming colors.

The brightly colored tents made me dizzy.

As fear rose in my throat and my teeth chattered, the ringmaster shoved me forward.

“This one’s a rat.

His parents died of disease and he was sold here, so teach him something useful.”

The moment dozens of indifferent eyes turned toward me and the ringmaster introduced me in that bored voice, the fear inside me turned into fury.

Ah, I’ve been completely sold.

My hometown, my family, my home—none of them exist for me anymore.

In truth, my family had been taken by plague and my home by my uncle and aunt.

Yet somehow it felt as though this circus troupe had stolen everything from me.

‘I’m not like these people!’

This grotesque circus is not where I belong.

I will leave this place no matter what.

Grinding my teeth, I glared at the light bulbs that illuminated the dark night above the circus grounds.

Blinded by the rage swirling inside me, I failed to notice the small girl in the corner staring at me like a tiny puppy.

“My name is Aedong.

What’s yours?”

So when Aedong spoke to me, I was caught off guard.

She looked two years younger than me and was unbelievably small.

Short, tiny, with a face barely the size of a fist, yet her eyes were large and round within it… beautiful.

Painfully beautiful.

She was far more adorable than the doll my mother once bought for my younger sister.

Unlike the indifferent circus members, Aedong’s eyes shone strangely whenever she looked at me, her cheeks flushing softly.

“What does it matter to you!”

Embarrassed that I had been flustered by a pretty girl, I snapped harshly without thinking.

But Aedong did not shrink back.

After that, she trailed behind me constantly.

Later, I learned that Aedong was actually my age, and that around that time she had lost the Snake Fairy she followed like a mother and cried every day.

The Spider Lady and Obaltan had struggled greatly to comfort her.

Yet strangely, once she saw me, she stopped crying altogether.

At the time, I didn’t know any of that.

I thought she simply followed me because she was happy another child her age had arrived.

If I treated her coldly enough, she would eventually give up.

But she never did.

It was true that she and I were the only ones our age.

Still, there were others not much older.

And as I said, Aedong was pretty and gentle-looking, so sometimes those fools tried to tempt her with sweets.

“Here, let’s share this.”

And she would take it and bring it straight to me.

After a while, they began to resent her and subtly bully her.

“Are you stupid?”

“No. I’m not stupid.”

One of them, Kkaesal, deliberately bumped into her, knocking her over.

As she pouted so hard a walnut-like lump formed on her chin, I asked coldly if she was foolish.

She only laughed and shook her head.

‘She really is a fool.’

That was what I thought then.

After dusting herself off, she resumed following behind me, asking my name again and again.

There was no reason I couldn’t tell her.

But I did not want the name my parents gave me to pass through the mouths of these circus people.

The moment my name left their lips, I felt as though I would never be able to return to who I was.

“Then what should I call you…?”

“Call me whatever you want.

Everyone else does.”

Rat.

That was my name in this circus.

Even at a young age, I felt the humiliation of that insult.

But it was better than hearing my real name from their mouths.

“Then I’ll call you Gyesa.”

“What?”

At the sudden name, I frowned at her.

She chattered excitedly about its meaning.

It was the name of a famous performer from a story told by the Snake Fairy.

I stared blankly at her moving lips.

Gyesa.

Strangely, I didn’t dislike it.

And in that moment, I realized instinctively.

I had grown attached to this girl.

That must be why I wasn’t angry at such a ridiculous name.

But when had that happened?

I was deeply confused by the realization.

Yet thinking back now, it was only natural.

When such a lovely girl followed me every day with shining eyes, smiling no matter how coldly I treated her, how could my heart not be stolen?

In any case, it was an emergency.

If I gave my heart to her, I would never leave this circus.

I had to leave as soon as possible.

From then on, I made plans to escape.

The day would be Christmas Eve.

I secretly stole items that looked valuable and moved quietly so as not to attract attention.

But I could not avoid the eyes of Aedong, who had followed me for months.

“Please just go away!”

You will hold me back.

Whether from tension, excitement, or the thought that I might never see her again, I suddenly shouted at her.

Normally she would have laughed it off.

But this time, she stared at me silently, as if she understood something.

In the end, it was I who stormed away first.

‘I wasted time because of Aedong.

Practice will start soon.

The ringmaster will look for me.

I should have left earlier….’

Blaming her for my own hesitation, I hid among the circus props.

I planned to stay hidden until everyone dispersed, then run.

“Where’s that rat?!

That brat… skipping out already?”

Sure enough, the ringmaster grew angry when I didn’t show up for practice.

“Find him at once!

Did he run away?”

My heart dropped.

Could I really avoid being caught?

Should I flee right now?

As panic consumed me, I heard a thin but clear and brave voice shout.

“Gyesa is sick today!

So I’ll walk the tightrope instead!”

“What? Who gave you permission—”

“Someone has to do it anyway.”

“You’ve got nerve talking back…

Well, since you’re small, maybe it’s better you do it.”

Aedong spoke firmly without fear of the ringmaster.

Of course, I wasn’t sick.

We had made no such arrangement.

She simply knew I was trying to escape.

And paradoxically, though she always followed me, she was now helping me run away.

The moment I realized that, my heart pounded violently and my head spun.

My lips trembled, and heat rose from my chest as if someone had lit a fire inside me.

I forgot about escaping.

Holding my breath, I peered through the gap in the tent.

High above on the rope stood a tiny girl.

From that height, I could see how small she truly was.

Yet with that small body, she was trying to protect me.

Though she had never walked a tightrope before.

Though she knew perfectly well how absurd it was.

‘No… get down.

Please.’

The moment I thought that, her legs trembled.

Her tiny body lifted into the air.

Like a baby bird with broken wings, she plummeted to the ground.

“Damn it, get someone over here!”

Chaos erupted inside the tent.

But my ears rang, and all I heard was my pounding heart.

Amid the rushing people, Aedong lay on the ground with one leg twisted unnaturally.

Her face was deathly pale, trembling as though she might shatter at any moment.

“Aedong!”

Forgetting that I was supposed to run, I rushed to her side.

Hot tears streamed down my cheeks.

The others were startled by my sudden appearance, but I saw only her pale face.

Her trembling gaze fixed on me.

Her clear eyes were dark with pain.

Yet instinctively, I knew it wasn’t just her leg that hurt.

Biting her lower lip, she endured the agony.

And then… she forced the corners of her mouth upward into a distorted smile.

‘I’m sorry.’

That twisted smile seemed to say so.

The moment I saw that blind affection and guilt in her expression, I understood.

‘I will never be able to leave your side for the rest of my life.’

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