Chapter 28: Blue Eyes by my bedside.

When I opened my eyes, I saw deep blue eyes like a lake.

It seemed he had been watching me all along.

“Are you okay?”

His low voice was tinged with worry while trying to reassure me.

“It was a wonderful forest.”

Even though the remark must have sounded quite random, the Duke listened calmly.

“Though I couldn’t smell anything.”

Words like sleep-talking continued. I let out a sigh filled with regret.

“Still, my mana amount seems to have increased quite a bit.”

Only now was a meaningful change visible in the Duke’s expression. He squinted his eyes. Perhaps my words sounded quite immature.

Absorbing excess mana supplied from a contaminated gem and making it one’s own, this was bizarre even to my eyes. I thought while still in a daze.

“I’ll have to find out exactly how much your mana amount is again.”

I chuckled at the strict magic teacher’s calm tone. Because the fact that it was another way of saying ‘don’t worry’ was conveyed.

“It will be very tough.”

“Right, so rest for now.”

The Duke smiled gently at me. His hand swept up the hair covering my forehead. The touch was harder than I thought, but the movement repeatedly touching my forehead was very careful and soft.

The slightly cool body temperature felt good. The sleepiness that had momentarily faded rushed back in.

“Sleep more.”

It was like a magic spell. I closed my eyes. The flower buds that couldn’t bloom, scentless, wrapped around me again.

****

“Miller was a regular at the gambling house. After squandering his own assets, he even touched the store’s operating funds.”

Hearing Philip’s voice, I opened my eyes. I couldn’t see anything. I blinked in panic.

Yesterday, I fainted in the Duke’s bedroom, not the banquet hall…

The realization that I had no memory of returning to my room and that I was lying in darkness where not a single ray of light entered came simultaneously. Sleep fled instantly.

Oh my god.

” was it his own will to touch gambling?”

The Duke’s following voice was the kill shot.

This was the Duke’s bedroom. I had slept in the Duke’s bed. Very soundly at that. Until Philip started his morning routine.

Truly, oh my god.

I got up hurriedly. I quickly tidied the disheveled blanket and pulled back the canopy. At that moment, my gaze collided head-on with the Duke’s. While listening to Philip’s report standing on his left with his ears, he was looking at the bed on his right with his eyes.

I hurriedly bowed my head in greeting. My ears burned hot. My messy attire came into view. Leaving aside being barefoot, three buttons on my shirt were undone. It was a wonder my pants hadn’t fallen down.

“I investigated that part intensively, and yes, it was his own will. When internal loans within the gambling house were blocked, he even blabbed about his connection with the Duke. After that, Miller’s visits to the gambling house became even more frequent.”

At Miller’s absurd bravado, who had clearly received the Duke’s favor at one point, I momentarily stopped my hand. The Duke watching me showed an eye-smile. He probably smiled to mean ‘rest assured’, but it felt more like being doused with cold water.

Turning my body, I moved my stopped hand again. It was hard to button up because strength hadn’t returned to my fingers yet. The unbuttoned clothes must have been the Duke’s mercy. Telling me to sleep comfortably.

I bit my lip as a groan tried to escape. I was the one who should be doing things like this. Not receiving his service.

Barely tidying my clothes and turning around, the Duke indicated one side with his eyes. It was the direction where the washbasin was. My face hardened again. Waking up in the Duke’s bed and even getting permission to use the fixtures in his room? It’s an experience a normal servant wouldn’t have.

Trying hard to hide my perplexity, I walked quickly to the washbasin.

“So that means there was a side that noticed and approached before us.”

If Philip hadn’t been there, I would have rather manifested magic directly and poured water on my head than use the Duke’s washbasin.

“The location of the gambling house…”

Philip was also wary of me. As he trailed off, the Duke commanded.

“Continue.”

Quickly washing my hands, I stood in front of the wagon Philip brought. The butler had prepared perfectly for coffee brewing even though I didn’t appear on time.

“The location of the gambling house was outside Teneb’s territory.”

It was a name I heard for the first time.

I understood Philip’s hesitation. Just as the watch business was outside Philip’s domain, Teneb, whether a person’s name or an organization’s name, was outside my domain.

“Did Miller know Teneb?”

“That is also absolutely not the case.”

“It was a coincidence? Who is the owner of the gambling house?”

Teneb, meaning darkness, couldn’t possibly be a person’s name.

When I placed the coffee I barely brewed in front of the Duke, Philip answered.

“It is a Beta named Alea. He has a connection to the Commissioner of Police.”

“So the top is the Prime Minister.”

“In the worst case, yes, but it is judged extremely unlikely that there was an actual connection.”

The Duke looked up at me while drinking coffee. The lips revealed as he put down the cup were twisted. As if reluctant, he opened his mouth slowly.

“Because the person named Alea is a Beta?”

“Yes.”

Philip, who is a Beta himself, answered without hesitation. It was a well-known fact that the Prime Minister was a discriminator against traits. Just reading a single line of his interview articles revealed how severe his discrimination against Betas was.

“The Prime Minister is a figure who knows how to endure momentarily for his own benefit. Even now, he has joined hands with the King. Though that side would be temporary.”

The parliament was still for Alphas and Omegas. Someday in the distant future, voting rights and eligibility for election might be given to Betas too, but currently, no politician cared about Betas excluded from politics. Actually, it was such an obvious story that the Duke didn’t need to care about my feelings.

“I will investigate more deeply.”

“It seems Teneb needs internal cracking down.”

“To what extent do you want?”

“As the work increased, it became too bloated in a short period. Without knowing such holes were forming. This is my mistake. I will visit soon.”

“Yes.”

He must be talking about the rapid growth of the watch business. Saying he would visit probably means he intends to use pheromones.

I clearly saw the lips covered again by the coffee cup holding a bitter smile.

After putting down the completely empty cup, the Duke tapped the table with his finger. Since it meant he was pondering something, Philip and I waited in a proper posture.

“What about Tommy? What happened to that guy?”

The name that came out after deliberation was extremely unexpected. When I conveyed Tommy’s words to the Duke, I knew there was no ‘next’ for the guy. Telling him to find out about Miller was practically a punishment. One where the Duke didn’t need to know the conclusion.

Unlike me, Philip answered the Duke without showing any sign of doubt.

“After following Miller into the gambling house once, he insisted on visiting the gambling house even on days Miller didn’t go. Miller condoned him touching the store safe.”

I looked down at the Duke’s face without realizing it. Wouldn’t he have not thought of such an ending either?

Meeting my gaze, the Duke curved his eyes. Unexpectedly, he looked quite satisfied.

“Then there’s no need to touch that guy. Leave him be.”

“I will follow your order.”

“Philip, you may leave now.”

“Yes.”

He dismissed the butler without mentioning the disposal of the actually important Miller. Well, it wasn’t something I needed to know. Just with the exchanged questions and answers, the Duke showed me a lot. Even things he didn’t need to.

Since permission for me to leave hadn’t been given yet, I remained in my spot.

“Don’t keep standing, sit.”

At the Duke’s command with a relaxed face, I sat on the floor. There was only one chair he sat on at the tea table provided in the Duke’s bedroom. Because there is no person of status who can share tea time with him here. Only after sitting did I realize my body wasn’t normal yet. I hid my trembling fingertips by clenching my fists.

Although I had fainted countless times, this was the first time I lost consciousness until morning. Before, it was fainting due to mana depletion, so I could wake up immediately after receiving the Duke’s emergency treatment. Not sleeping until morning laid gently in the Duke’s bed, where he never let anyone in even in the adjoining room, but returning to my room’s bed on my own feet.

“Not the floor.”

The Duke’s gaze subtly missed me. Following that gaze, I unconsciously added strength to my clenched fists. The feeling of fingernails digging into my palm reminded me anew that the Duke’s unrealistic favor was reality.

“The floor is comfortable.”

Where he indicated with his eyes was the bed with the open canopy. Where I had a deep sleep last night.

Without time to think, words of denial were spat out.

“Don’t be stubborn…”

“It is true.”

Even though I interrupted him twice, my employer just looked at me with a face not knowing what to do with me. If it were another employer, even Billy from the back-alley pub, he would have thrown a punch immediately calling me impertinent. No, he wouldn’t even have offered the consideration to sit.

“Fair Duke.”

That I can purify contaminated gems will become a secret known only to the Duke. Just as I have now learned that he commands a backstreet organization called Teneb and Philip is connected to it.

The Duke, who showed me his secret when he learned mine.

When I called him, the embarrassment gradually faded from the Duke’s face. Looking up at him who lost his expression, I lifted the corners of my mouth.

“The only person who knows exactly about my constitution is you, Duke, and I will surely be of help to you. That is the reason I dare to act impertinent.”

I cannot know. Exactly what feelings the Duke holds for me. However, I know at least the fact that he doesn’t treat me just as an impertinent and amusing servant.

I have definitely been receiving special treatment. That was because of my constitution, and treatment for my ability. Not care based on the Duke’s emotions.

Last night, I received peaceful care from him. I belatedly remembered the soft touch stroking my hair wet with cold sweat.

That was a warm benevolence I couldn’t receive, shouldn’t receive.

I was a protege receiving his favor, his student, and a comrade who could share his loneliness even a little. I also played a part in his business.

So I could dare to offer him sympathy.

That was my limit. I wasn’t a kind person. I couldn’t be. If affection for others can come from the surplus of affection for oneself.

I cannot like myself.

The reason I could get close to him was because I am a Beta who cannot smell pheromones.

I recalled the landscape in my dream. The forest deep enough not to see the end, and the flower buds that couldn’t bloom. That was a landscape I had neither seen nor imagined. I felt sorry for the flowers that couldn’t bloom, that I couldn’t make bloom. I couldn’t even imagine how beautiful the scent I couldn’t smell would be.

Perhaps I could have become an Omega. But eventually, I didn’t become an Omega. My unique constitution might be the trade-off.

I gained enough profit from this unique constitution. So I couldn’t covet what was on the opposite side.

Maybe if I had lived only the life of a fifteen-year-old, I might have been greedy enough to want to grab what was on the opposite side too. I might have made vain efforts to find the young master and the hunter whom I had already let go. Just as my body remembers the warmth the Duke bestowed upon me now.

But I was fifteen, and also twenty-eight.

Twenty-eight-year-old me knows what results excessive greed brings. I did a radical coming out for my brother’s sake, but actually, I couldn’t endure it. Perhaps my father had noticed I was a different kind of person from them. No, he definitely suspected. Because he tried to arrange a meeting under the guise of a blind date for me, who was barely twenty.

I had to do what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to follow my father’s coercion, but I wanted to be my father’s son. Even if I acted willfully, they should have embraced me.

As the price for the greed of wanting to have all incompatible things, I lost them. Forever.

“I will continue to work hard.”

I couldn’t force my greed on the Duke either. I couldn’t whine again at the favor he shows. He is already bearing a lot.

I roughly grabbed and tore off a strand of feeling trying to bloom faintly inside me without my knowing. It was a feeling that would wither without blooming anyway.

“…You really, will have to work hard.”

The nineteen-year-old boy looked at me and smiled brightly like a flower. Just as he always does when hiding his emotions.

I captured his smile in my eyes as if I had become a painter.