Chapter 41: Too Early for Heat

“There’s no color in your lips at all. Fill in the remaining hour of your shift next time and go home early today.”

“I’m really fine…….”

“Now, put on your backpack.”

The librarian handed him his backpack and even personally led the flustered Yooha to the lobby.

Tapping the shoulders of Yooha, who stood at a loss after being pulled out, the librarian showed a bright smile.

“Even if you don’t have an appetite, make sure to eat, go to the medical room to take some medicine, and get some rest. Okay? If you come in this state tomorrow, I’ll be angry.”

“Yes…….”

“See you tomorrow.”

Somehow, he felt he had caused worry to an innocent person, leaving him with no face to look at her.

Yooha bowed several times and left the library.

Checking the time on his phone, it was just passing twelve o’clock.

Since he had a class later anyway, he set his destination to the Business School building and walked slowly.

The librarian had told him to make sure to eat, but his stomach was churning so much that he didn’t feel he could swallow anything at all.

Instead, he decided to go to the medical room and lie down for a bit.

Since the pre-heat warning signs wouldn’t completely subside even if he took suppressants, there was no choice but to endure them.

“Huu…….”

Taking slow, deep breaths, Yooha looked around, stopped, and played with his phone.

Rather than guessing the cause of his symptoms on his own, it seemed better to seek the opinion of his doctor in charge.

Taking another slow breath, he pressed the call button.

– Yes, Heo Yun-do of the Gender Center.

Before the ringback tone could drag on, a familiar voice came through.

Yooha, with a much more relaxed expression, spoke haltingly.

“Hello, Doctor… I’m Jin Yooha….”

– Yooha-ssi? What brings you to call?

“I called because I have something to ask you….”

– Yes, go ahead and tell me.

Yooha moistened his parched lips.

Worried that a passerby might hear the call, he quickly walked toward a secluded area.

Holding his phone tightly with both hands, Yooha lowered his voice as much as possible.

“My heat cycle shouldn’t be here yet, but my physical condition is very bad…. My hands are so cold, and my stomach is churning…….”

– Just a moment. When was your last heat cycle?

“Uh… it was around February 23rd.”

– Really? Then you still have about two weeks left….

For a moment, the sound of keyboard typing was heard in his ear.

The doctor’s silence added an inexplicable tension to Yooha.

Swallowing hard, Yooha quietly waited for his answer.

– Have you had contact with an Alpha recently? Or felt Alpha pheromones, or been exposed to them?

“Ah…….”

Hearing his words, Yooha stopped walking with a gasp.

His hands and feet, which had been frozen until moments ago, felt as if they were suddenly swept by intense heat and melting weakly.

A memory that naturally surfaced in his head devoured Yooha.

It was the memory he had tried his best to bury deep.

Last Saturday, the kiss with Shin Joowon.

The situation at the time wasn’t clear at all, but the sensation his body had felt and accepted was excessively vivid.

His first kiss—hot, wet, tingly, and leaving even his consciousness hazy—had been intense and shocking.

So some parts remained intensely in his mind, while other parts were completely forgotten.

He had no memory at all of how he had entered his house that day, or how he had spent the following day.

Even at Woo Tae’s nagging about why he hadn’t bought ice cream, he had merely sat blankly in a daze.

The doctor, having lit the fuse of his memory, calmly continued his explanation.

– Sometimes that happens. If an Omega who hasn’t felt Alpha pheromones for a long time is suddenly exposed to them or has frequent contact with an Alpha, the effectiveness of suppressants drops, and hormonal disruption can bring the estrus cycle forward. Especially for recessive types, if they receive sudden strong stimulation, such cases occur frequently.

The only Alpha who knew Yooha was an Omega was Shin Joowon.

He had met him quite frequently recently, had felt his pheromones several times, and had even had deep contact.

According to the doctor, the cause of his abnormal symptoms was his frequent meetings and contact with Shin Joowon.

– Yooha-ssi? Are you listening?

“Pardon? Ah, yes… I’m listening….”

Perhaps because he recalled the lips that had touched his neck and the wet touch of his tongue, a tingly sensation as if an electric current had passed through his body was felt.

Yooha shook his head vigorously, trying to shake off that sensation in any way he could.

– If you haven’t had contact with an Alpha but are experiencing this, it would be best to quickly do a simple test. Can you come to the center right now?

“I’m at school right now, so it would be difficult to go… and I did have contact with an Alpha recently….”

Even though he was merely explaining vaguely, cold sweat broke out.

The unfamiliar texture and feeling when the breath had touched his neck and their lips had met seemed to be felt once again.

When he had belatedly snapped out of it after the repeated kisses ended, he had already been swept away by Shin Joowon and was thoroughly drenched, leaving him unable to do anything.

– For now, start taking cycle suppressants from today, and contact me again tomorrow morning. You know you must never take cycle suppressants on an empty stomach, right? Make sure to take them after meals.

“Yes, thank you…….”

Although it hadn’t been a long call, he felt completely drained once it ended.

Yooha, barely gathering his weakened legs, trudged along.

The moment he spotted an empty bench among the ones placed across the campus, Yooha sat down, buried his face in both hands, and let out a sigh.

‘If you don’t like it, you can push me away.’

Even if Shin Joowon hadn’t explicitly said those words, he would never have been able to push him away.

How could he dare push him away?

How could he dislike him?

Rather, because his feelings of love had grown so large, he was only fearful that he might reach a point where he couldn’t handle it himself.

“Haa…….”

Although it was true that his memory was cut off here and there because the incident that day had been a shock, Yooha had deliberately tried to erase the fact that he had kissed Shin Joowon from his head.

It was to avoid attributing useless meaning to it.

Alphas and Omegas had no choice but to react to pheromones.

That was a trait-user’s instinct.

Since he himself had felt a strange, bizarre sensation at Shin Joowon’s pheromones, and his mind had been hazy as if intoxicated.

If he had been exposed to his pheromones for a longer time, he might have been the first to kiss Shin Joowon.

‘This is all because of my trait.’

‘Because of the instinct attracted to pheromones.’

‘It’s not that Shin Joowon has feelings for me.’

‘It was merely an unavoidable accident, just like when I spilled the frappuccino.’

Yooha comforted himself, ruthlessly crushing the expectations that were trying to blossom.

Rather than being disappointed after hoping, not even hoping was better.

Yet, why was it so difficult?

Had resigning and giving up ever felt this difficult?

Because Shin Joowon’s words and actions were sweet enough to make him choke occasionally, he couldn’t shake off his expectations at all.

He wanted to hold onto even a thread of hope.

‘Shin Joowon doesn’t dislike me either.’

‘Perhaps he has a little… just a tiny bit of favor.’

‘Because even if pheromones prompted the impulse, one wouldn’t be able to kiss, which only couples would do, without any hesitation.’

The shallow selfishness that wanted to believe so was constantly asserting its presence.

But Shin Joowon was a person who didn’t suit Jin Yooha.

Jin Yooha was so shabby and worthless that even the person who was with him would be dragged down by others.

So he must never, not even in the slightest, hope.

Yooha patted his own cheeks as a sign to snap out of it, then grit his teeth and stood up.

His retreating back as he began to walk with listless steps was exceptionally slumped.

‘Ah, it really is my heat cycle.’

Yooha, who lifted his heavy eyelids upon hearing his alarm, muttered internally.

It was only then that he realized his entire body was wet and damp with cold sweat.

Barely rising from his spot and leaving his room, he immediately headed to the bathroom.

Standing in front of the sink to check his complexion in the mirror, a reddish flush was swirling on his cheeks.

In his hands and feet, which until yesterday had been frozen and aching as if cut by a blade, heat had risen.

His exhaled breath was shallow, and his eyes were reddish.

Yooha, who splashed cold water several times to wash his face and patted down his slightly sticking-up hair, walked out of the bathroom.

His aunt, who spotted him, widened her eyes and approached.

“Yooha, are you sick somewhere? Is it a cold?”

His aunt, who immediately felt Yooha’s forehead, had a look of concern on her face.

Yooha answered in a hurry.

“No. It’s… because of my cycle.”

“Already? Isn’t the date not here yet?”

“Yes… so I asked my doctor too, and he said such cases happen occasionally. He said I’ll be fine once I take my medicine.”

Yooha, who answered with a mix of truth and a slight lie to reassure his aunt, gave a smile.

However, his aunt couldn’t easily shake off her worry and was busy scanning Yooha’s face here and there.

Patting Yooha’s back as if to comfort him, she forced the corners of her mouth up to smile.

“Let’s eat first. That way you can take your medicine.”

“…Yes.”

Although he wasn’t hungry and held no appetite, he couldn’t cause his aunt further worry.

Yooha, who forced down all the breakfast his aunt had prepared, took his cycle suppressant.

Thinking that it was a great relief that he could get through his heat cycle lightly because he was a recessive type, Yooha entered the bathroom and picked up his toothbrush.

Silently brushing his teeth, he looked at his face in the mirror again.

When his heat cycle began, deep red fever blossoms bloomed all over his body, but this time, his face and neck seemed exceptionally red.

Yooha, who was touching his heated earlobes with his toothbrush in his mouth, spat out the foam.

Slowly exhaling, he pressed his heated cheek once.

‘Please let it pass without any trouble this time too.’

Repeating the wish he recalled every time his heat cycle returned, Yooha finished brushing his teeth.

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