Chapter 49: Growing Feelings

After his brief heat cycle came to an end, Yuha spent a hectic day.

In front of Wootae, who repeatedly asked if he had enjoyed his time with the rich Alpha hyung, he was busy hiding his uncontrollably flushing face; he had to obtain documents from the Center to submit for an excused absence; and he had to confess to the librarian that he was an Omega to explain his unannounced absence.

It took an immense amount of courage to say those words with his own mouth.

He had worried sick that she might hold prejudices against Omegas, and that she would look at him with strange eyes.

Yet after hearing Yuha’s entire situation, the librarian comforted him instead.

Saying that he wasn’t the type of person to skip work without a word, she had been worried something terrible had happened, and that she was relieved to see his complexion looking decent now.

Lastly, he even had a phone call with his attending physician.

True to his diligent nature of always explaining every symptom faithfully, Yuha recounted everything that had occurred during this heat cycle without leaving anything out.

When he cautiously revealed that the medicine hadn’t worked well, causing him trouble, and that he had engaged in relations with an Alpha for the very first time, the doctor—who was always stoic and rarely showed mood swings—spoke in a remarkably surprised, heightened voice.

‘Yuha-ssi, come to the Center tomorrow. I think it would be best to check your condition. Let’s talk face-to-face.’

Bound by the doctor’s summons, Yuha hurried out of school the next day as soon as his lectures finished.

Arriving at the station, he descended to the platform for the train heading opposite his home and boarded the subway that pulled in right on cue.

Even on his way home, there were never empty seats, forcing him to stand, and the situation on this train was hardly any different.

It was about two stops away from school, just as he was quietly studying the route map posted above the doors.

His phone, which had remained quiet all day, began to vibrate with a long buzz.

Thinking it might be Wootae, Yuha pulled out his phone without much thought, only to gasp in shock at the name on the screen.

‘Senior Shin Juwon’

As the subway suddenly jolted and lurched, Yuha stumbled, barely catching the handrail beside the door to steady his balance.

Judging by the startled gasps bursting out from here and there, quite a few people beside himself had nearly fallen over.

Taking a deep breath and calming his startled chest, Yuha swallowed hard.

The unexpectedly spotted name caused a soft smile to spread across his lips.

Without even realizing he was smiling, Yuha answered the call.

“Hello, Hyung…”

– Yes, Yuha. Where are you?

The moment he picked up, Shin Juwon’s gentle inquiry reached his ears.

Unable to endure the ticklish flutter in his chest, Yuha continuously wriggled his toes.

“I’m on the subway.”

– Ah, on your way home?

“No, I have somewhere I need to stop by today…”

Right on cue, the subway came to a halt, and quite a few people poured out while new passengers boarded.

Unfortunately failing to snag a seat, Yuha held tightly onto the handrail as he listened to Shin Juwon’s voice.

– Somewhere to stop by? Where? Is something wrong?

“Ah… well, my doctor told me to come by the Center today.”

– The Center? Are you feeling unwell? Because of your heat cycle?

“No, it’s not that… I spoke with my doctor on the phone, and he said it would be better to talk face-to-face. A lot of things happened this time that were a bit different from usual… It’s definitely not because I’m sick. Nothing hurts and my condition is fine.”

Calmly, Yuha emphasized his words with as much steady clarity as possible so Shin Juwon wouldn’t worry.

His tone was wound up tight before he even realized it.

Shin Juwon, who was silent for a brief moment, suddenly burst into laughter.

‘Why is he laughing…?’

Though the sound of his laughter crumbling softly in his ear was pleasant to hear, Yuha rolled his eyes, failing to grasp its meaning.

No matter how much he thought about it, it hadn’t been a funny story worthy of making Shin Juwon laugh.

– I wish I had known earlier so I could’ve gone with you; what a shame.

“……”

– Tell me later. What they say at the Center.

“Yes… I will…”

Trailing off as he answered, Yuha clutched and unclenched his fingers repeatedly, following the fidgeting of his feet.

With each passing day, the man’s kindness grew warmer and cozier without end.

Even if he pretended to know nothing and subtly leaned his shoulder against his chest, it felt as though Shin Juwon would embrace him warmly, which only made Yuha’s heart heavier.

He was terrified that at this rate, he would truly want to lean on him with all his heart, that he would want to confirm Shin Juwon’s feelings.

– I’ll hang up now. Get there safely.

“Yes… thank you…”

After the brief call ended and his phone returned to the home screen, a long sigh finally broke through as he tucked it into his pocket.

Patting his chest a few times against the suffocating heaviness, Yuha surveyed the crowded subway interior, then lowered his head completely and stared fixedly at the tips of his sneakers.

“……”

He truly had no idea how to suppress this affection that deepened as time passed.

He knew all too well that he was someone who didn’t suit him, and it was blindingly obvious that he was of no help to him, yet his heart kept trying to turn a blind eye to reality.

All the more so after realizing that the trembling he felt whenever he faced Shin Juwon was fluttering excitement.

The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment and wounds.

Ten-year-old Yuha, who had fallen into lethargic sleep firmly believing his parents would visit him in his dreams, learned through that ordeal that expectation was an emotion that gnawed away at him.

Moreover, on the day his aunt held him and wept uncontrollably, he realized painfully that such expectations could torment even the people around him.

For whatever reason, his parents had never shown their faces in Yuha’s dreams, not even once.

Over time, all expectations drained away, leaving his hollow, tender heart prone to easily getting scratched, and by the time those wounds healed into scars one by one, an equal amount of resignation and abandonment was branded into him.

Someone might ask what there was to fear about getting hurt, why he cowered in advance and didn’t even try to confront it.

Yuha wasn’t unaware that he could appear frustrating to others.

However, the loss he suffered before even learning proper ways to protect himself had turned him into an increasingly defensive and passive person.

Having endured that time so well until now, and being thoroughly accustomed to emptying his heart, why was it that he couldn’t let go of his feelings for Shin Juwon?

On the contrary, the greed to grow even closer to him kept surging up unbidden.

Yuha squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head vigorously.

Not satisfied with just that, he even slapped his own cheeks hard enough to make a sharp smack.

The gazes of nearby passengers instantly converged on him, but fortunately, having arrived at the transfer station, Yuha was able to escape their scrutiny.

Yet until he reached the Center, Yuha failed to find an answer as to why his feelings toward Shin Juwon refused to die down.

***

The moment he arrived at the Center, blood was drawn unexpectedly, followed by waiting for test results, and after concluding his consultation on top of that, it was well past seven o’clock.

Fortunately, there were no abnormalities in the test results, allowing him to leave the Center with a slightly lighter heart.

Reviewing the results, the attending physician stated that although his heat cycle had been pulled forward due to temporary pheromone disturbance, there were no unusual findings severe enough to require medical intervention.

Adding that intimacy with an Alpha had likely been of greater help than suppressants, he even stated firmly that it would be best to have s*x with an Alpha during future heat cycles whenever possible.

Hearing such explicit terms, Yuha could only flush crimson without being able to utter a word, yet the doctor was more serious than ever.

Barely cooling down his flushed heat and returning home, Yuha ate dinner with Wootae and immediately showered with the intention of resting early.

Tossing his damp towel into the laundry hamper, he was about to head straight into the room when Wootae, who was drinking water, called him to a stop.

“Hyung, wait a sec.”

“Huh? Why?”

Turning around immediately at the call, Wootae set his glass down on the table, walked over, and spun Yuha’s body back around.

Suddenly standing with his back to Wootae, Yuha blinked his eyes several times.

“What’s this? Are there mosquitoes already?”

Along with a voice tinged with curiosity, Wootae’s fingertip touched the back of Yuha’s neck.

Shrinking at the ticklish sensation, Yuha tried to turn around, but Wootae firmly grabbed both of his shoulders, preventing him from moving.

“The back of your neck is red. Not all of it, just in a few spots. Here, and… here, and here. Doesn’t it itch?”

“Huh… I don’t feel anything, though…”

As if pointing them out to Yuha, Wootae lightly tapped several specific spots with his fingertip.

Puzzled, Yuha gently brushed his own hand over the areas Wootae had touched.

To the extent that he wouldn’t have noticed had Wootae not mentioned it, there was no sensation at all, nor were there raised bumps like mosquito bites.

Tilting his head, Yuha carefully traced back his memory.

If it were a mark left by an insect bite, it naturally would have stung or itched at least once, yet it felt completely normal, to the point where he had known nothing until Wootae pointed it out.

‘Then what on earth could it be…’

As he slowly recalled the past few days, a memory flashed through Yuha’s mind like lightning.

“Should I put medicine on it? I think we had ointment somewhere.”

It wasn’t crystal clear, but neither was it faint enough to leave any doubt.

Shin Juwon, his massive upper body draped over Yuha who was kneeling on all fours, gently nibbling and biting at the nape of his neck—it seemed the red marks Wootae had just discovered were made at that exact moment.

“Hyung, what’s wrong? Your ears suddenly turned red.”

Startled by the hand playfully kneading his earlobe, Yuha hurriedly put distance between himself and Wootae.

Baffled by the oversensitive reaction, Wootae’s eyes widened.

Covering the back of his burning neck with his hand, Yuha smiled awkwardly.

“I-it’s nothing…”

“It definitely doesn’t look like nothing, though?”

“I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep first.”

He tried to hastily slip away, but was helplessly caught by Wootae.

With only his bedroom to flee to, and with that very room being shared with Wootae, even if he had run, he wouldn’t have been able to escape Wootae’s grasp.

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