Chapter 42: Calling Him by His Name.

“Philius…”

Did the words that leaked out unwittingly reach his ears?

I clearly saw it. His eyes curving gently.

As if he had received a wished-for gift.

Time flowed slowly. His body moved straight ahead, but his gaze didn’t leave me. Deep blue eyes. The emotions shimmering within them made my heart beat too.

I murmured again. Philius. His name.

“Philius, that is my name.”

When I couldn’t return an answer to the Duke calling my name, he whispered in my ear. Even then, I couldn’t return his name to him.

Son, or descendant. The meaning of the word Philius was merely that. It was a word devoid of any affection to be used as someone’s name. It seemed more like a shape hardened into a name from just being called ‘son’ rather than being named with careful thought.

The fierce wind fluttered my messy hair. I didn’t bother to tidy it.

Time regained its speed. Before I knew it, the Duke, Philius, was showing his back.

His figure, riding a horse-drawn carriage and leading the procession, grew smaller and smaller. The people shouting passionate cheers until their throats were hoarse began to scatter one by one.

The square, which had been packed with people without room to step, became empty in an instant.

I had to return too. To the mansion where the master no longer existed.

But my feet didn’t move. Even though I had a place to return to, I stood blankly like a lost child.

Chasing the back I could no longer see.

My eyes seemed broken. Tears flowed again.

“Th-that rude bastard! Look at him, that one. He doesn’t even cry, that bastard!”

Suddenly, the voice of someone shouting at me sitting blankly at my family’s funeral came to mind.

Back then, I couldn’t cry. I wanted to wail asking why they left me alone, but I couldn’t even make a voice.

I wanted to ask him shouting at me with an agitated face. How can I shout and shed tears like you? Teach me how too.

However, throughout the funeral, there was nothing I could do but remain silent.

Now, I became able to cry.

Only now. After being kicked out of Earth where traces of my family remained. After sending away even the Duke who gave me a human life and taught me.

I collapsed to the floor as if falling. I felt like laughing. Because I was so ridiculous. No, I also wanted to wail loudly.

Cling.

A coin rolled in front of me sitting collapsed. A gentleman dressed in a perfect suit passed in front of me clicking his tongue. My appearance must have been truly a mess. Enough to receive alms.

I gave a bitter smile at the fact that my last appearance shown to the Duke was this unsightly.

Still.

Still, it was a relief. That I could return his name to him.

That I could hold his name.

I became able to name the emotion I have now.

The name of my emotion was love.

The name of my emotion I cannot call was love, clearly.

Although I cannot take it out or show it to anyone.

The boy became a young man and left.

And I realized that my second boyhood had also ended.

****

“f*ck.”

Captain Rassett cursed at the sudden heavy rain that tied him down at the supply depot. Captain Sella, the supply officer, giggled at the sight.

“It’s good to rest with the rain as an excuse, so what’s the complaint? Does the Commander-in-Chief grill you that much? Does he not tolerate seeing his adjutant rest even a little?”

Captain Rassett sighed instead of answering. Captain Sella’s laughter grew louder.

“Isn’t it the same for you that the good days are over?”

Rassett asked, looking out at the pouring rain with annoyed eyes.

The supply position was one with many opportunities to embezzle here and there.

Even on this harsh battlefield far from the mainland, Sella was a noble who groomed his mustache stylishly and slicked his hair back with pomade.

Rassett knew that if not for the battlefield, Sella was of a status where he wouldn’t even converse so intimately with him. Unlike Rassett himself, who used vulgar language no different from mercenaries and had nothing but being an Alpha, Sella was the son of a local magnate.

Sella called himself a country bumpkin, but to Rassett, even that seemed like an expression of confidence. Because if he were truly ashamed of his family, he couldn’t possibly use such an expression.

Rassett could also enjoy quite a prosperous battlefield life by sharing friendship with Sella. Materially, it was rather better than when he was on the mainland. Until the new Commander-in-Chief arrived.

When the Commander-in-Chief, younger than Rassett himself—truly green behind the ears—first arrived, he was an object of mockery. He was the King’s puppet anyway. Everyone knew the Duke was a foil for Spes Umbra.

So Rassett had despaired.

“Captain Rassett, from this time forth, you are appointed as the Commander-in-Chief’s adjutant.”

Because he was selected as that Commander-in-Chief’s adjutant. It was tantamount to demotion.

He couldn’t help but feel he became a sacrifice because his status and background were insignificant. The moment his name was called remained as a terrible stigma.

The strange thing was the attitude of the 2nd Expeditionary Force that arrived with the Duke. The officers kept him at a distance.

They were never friendly to him, but they couldn’t ignore him either. Even that Spes Umbra.

It was a clear fact that Spes Umbra hated the Duke, the new Commander-in-Chief, very much. He didn’t hide his hostility toward the Duke. Yet, he didn’t look down on the Duke either.

Spes Umbra’s adjutant was selected from the 1st Expeditionary Force like Rassett himself. It was a natural measure for quick adaptation. And that adjutant chose an easy path to curry favor with his superior. Disparaging the Commander-in-Chief, the Duke, and praising Spes Umbra.

“Don’t we just need to trust Major General Umbra? Even if he’s the Commander-in-Chief, what would he know about military affairs?”

Rassett, who was present, inwardly agreed with his words. Thinking he didn’t know how to use sophisticated speech but had sense. In fact, Rassett also hoped to become Major General Umbra’s adjutant. Since it was evident that was the fastest path to success.

However, Spes Umbra showed an extremely unexpected reaction.

When the slapping sound rang out, it wasn’t just that adjutant who was surprised. Rassett also had to widen his eyes.

No, everyone gathered there froze like ice.

“M-Major General.”

When the adjutant, slapped out of nowhere, made a voice full of injustice, Spes Umbra kicked him, eventually making him fall to the floor.

It was a very humiliating scene, but the adjutant didn’t even have the leeway to feel humiliation at the unilateral assault.

“Get lost.”

Spes Umbra broke the adjutant’s career with just one word. For Rassett, it was to the point where he couldn’t tell if his situation of becoming the Duke’s adjutant was lucky or unlucky.

Just before the 2nd Expeditionary Force departed, Rassett heard rumors that Spes Umbra was severely beaten by the Duke, but he thought it was just the gossip of mercenaries who liked to talk.

He also heard that the Duke’s performance was decisive until the 2nd Expeditionary Force arrived at the main unit in the New Continent, but he didn’t believe that either.

Not only the generals including Spes Umbra but even the newly commissioned second lieutenants, no one in the officer corps mentioned the Duke’s merits.

The only ones enthusiastic about him were the lowly mercenaries.

What is the reason rough mercenaries spit while passionately praising the Duke, who is taller than expected but still just a pretty young master? Recalling how much trouble he had with those rough guys when he was a newly commissioned second lieutenant, it was strange, but Rassett didn’t ponder for long.

When the Duke’s personal items came into the official residence, he knew he found the answer. The items neatly organized in the boxes coming in one after another were luxury goods Rassett had never even seen properly in his life.

The Duke examined those luxury goods one by one with eyes that were even quite affectionate.

No matter how extreme the status difference, it was a sight that twisted Rassett’s guts. Personal items full of luxury in the middle of a war.

It was a day confirming again that the Duke was a pampered young master just as his first impression suggested.

In Rassett’s opinion, there was only one way for the young master to receive praise from vulgar mercenaries. That overflowing money was the very means.

What else could there be to buy the hearts of faithless mercenaries?

The Duke couldn’t even utilize his position as Commander-in-Chief properly. His role in operational meetings was merely listening to the conclusions gathered and made by Spes Umbra. Rassett had no choice but to think that his luck was definitely not good.

The first order given by the Duke, who seemed to have no interest in the direction of the war, was changing the guidelines of the field hospital.

“We have to wash hands?”

Even though it was an order given directly by the Duke, the chief medical officer Miles asked back with a face saying it was preposterous. Rassett, accompanying the Duke, understood him. It was an absurd order even to his ears.

Inside the hospital tent was literally chaos. Groans from those who lost limbs in battle and those who caught endemic diseases in the strange continent, and urgent shouts from medical officers, far too few compared to patients, running here and there were mixed together.

“Do you see this? Everyone is working frantically. But you tell us to wash hands leisurely? Every time we see a patient?”

Miles rebelled, pointing at the chaotic interior of the hospital with hands soaked in blood like other medical officers.

“I am an honorary member of the Royal Medical Society, and I receive and read all the latest papers.”

At the Duke’s words, Miles opened his eyes wide, looking even more dumbfounded.

Rassett knew well how much pride he took in his directorship at the Royal Medical Society. Even after coming to the New Continent, he was receiving and reading the Royal Society journals without fail, even if late.

Rassett remembered Miles grumbling that doctors these days only talk smoothly without experience.

From Miles’s perspective, the Duke’s words must have sounded quite ridiculous. The Duke probably mentioned the Royal Society to raise his authority, but it rather brought a countereffect.

“Did you say honorary member?”

What appeared on Miles’s face was clear mockery. The chief medical officer, who had no time to wash hands, seemed clearly willing to invest time to embarrass the Duke.

However, Miles didn’t get the chance to unleash that ambition.

“It’s an order.”

The Duke silenced Miles with a cold smile.