Chapter 59: The Thing He Refused to Lose

It felt as if my vision had been set to slow motion.

Jaeyul approaching me appeared painfully slow, yet vividly clear.

He must have barely dried himself—droplets of water clung to the muscles of his chest and arms.

His chest, swollen as if freshly pumped after a workout… was moving closer to me.

I think I was mistaken four years ago.

Back then, I believed Jaeyul had already finished growing.

He was tall, and his body had been solid from years of training.

But the body in front of me now was fundamentally different.

Rougher.

More feral.

A man’s body—

not a boy’s.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

Drip.

Only after a drop of water fell onto my face did I snap back to my senses.

W-What… what was I staring at just now…?

Between his muscular chest, that small rise—

Ha… I’ve lost my mind.

Who the hell do I think I am?

Sneaking looks at the body of the kid I practically raised—

I’ve completely lost it.

“Huh?

N-No, it’s nothing!

Hey—no matter if you’re at home, you can’t just walk around half-naked like that…!”

Embarrassed by my own runaway thoughts, I lashed out at Jaeyul instead.

My face felt like it was about to burst into flames, and I had no idea where to put my eyes.

That was when Jaeyul pressed a towel into my hand.

“…What are you doing?”

Then he plopped down on the floor right in front of the sofa where I was sitting.

I stared at the round back of his head, wondering what on earth he thought he was doing.

“Dry it for me.”

…Since when did this kid get so shameless…?

When he was younger, I used to dry his hair like this all the time.

He’d always come out without drying it properly, and I worried he’d catch a cold.

But now he was a grown man, asking me to dry his hair.

“Haa… just stay still.”

In the end, I used the towel to vigorously dry his wet hair.

What kind of training did he even do to get this big?

His shoulders looked broader and sturdier than when he did judo.

His back was so wide now it felt like I couldn’t even hug him properly anymore.

Still, that round, cute back of his head hadn’t changed at all.

“I was scared you’d be gone when I came back out,

so I rushed and didn’t dry it properly.”

At the sound of his voice casually explaining why he’d rushed his shower,

my hands, which had been busy with the towel, froze.

“That you’d disappear again without a word, like last time.

If that happened again… I really don’t think I could endure it….”

In that instant,

the back that had seemed so broad suddenly looked unbearably small.

Fragile.

As if it might collapse at any moment.

I didn’t even need to see his face—

I could picture it perfectly.

That same pitiful expression that matched this lonely back.

I dropped the towel and wrapped my arms around him from behind.

“…I’m sorry, Jaeyul.

I didn’t know you were struggling that much….”

Did I really not know?

Four years ago, when I left him, I firmly believed it was unavoidable.

That it was all for his sake.

But did I truly not know that a child left alone would suffer?

Or did I know—and simply look away?

I’m a sinner.

I really am.

As the weight of my self-reproach deepened,

Jaeyul grabbed the arm I had wrapped around his neck.

He fiddled with my arm absently, as if kneading clay with his fingertips.

“I’m not talking about the past, hyung.

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt,

but I don’t think your choice was wrong.

Just like you said, I was able to grow strong during that time.

But….”

In the next instant—

the hand gripping my arm tightened, and my body was yanked forward.

My posture collapsed in a blink, my back hitting the floor,

with Jaeyul looming over me.

Bracing his hands on either side of my head, he looked down at me—

and his expression was nothing like what I’d expected.

It was just like… yes, just like back then.

The day his alpha awakening occurred.

That gaze was exactly the same.

“I won’t ever lose you like that again.

I’m not the half-baked idiot who couldn’t even use his powers properly just because you were in front of me.”

A white light began to gather beside Jaeyul’s head.

Even though it had been years since I last saw it,

the phenomenon was etched into my memory as clearly as if it were yesterday.

“J-Jaeyul!

Wait—Jaeyul!”

Light Bomb.

The tiny particles that looked like dust swelled in an instant,

growing as large as fists.

“Are you scared?

Do you still think I can’t control even this properly?”

“C-Calm down—let’s talk first…!”

I didn’t know where to look.

At Jaeyul’s eyes?

Or at the Light Bombs that looked ready to explode at any second?

I had no idea how to calm him down in this half-maddened state.

But my worries didn’t last long.

Fwoosh.

With a sound like air being released, the Light Bombs rapidly shrank.

What was this insane speed…?

It was far faster than anything I’d seen even during my last battle with ‘X.’

In the span of a single blink,

the Light Bombs had transformed into needles—thin and sharp.

“Haa… I get it.

You’re strong now, so—”

“No.

Not yet.”

The needles of light spinning around Jaeyul surged toward me.

This lunatic—!

This really is revenge for me abandoning him and running away.

He’s going to blow my head off with Light Bombs—!

Given the situation and his expression,

it was a perfectly reasonable conclusion.

They were moving too fast for me to even think about closing my eyes.

Just as I thought the needles would pierce straight through me—

they stopped.

As if seized by some unseen force,

frozen in midair.

Right between my eyes.

“S-Sun Jaeyul!

What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“See?

Even with you right in front of me, my heart doesn’t waver anymore.

I won’t panic like before and put you in danger.

From now on, no matter what kind of danger it is—

whether it’s a person or a monster—

I can protect you.

I won’t ever let you be hurt.”

I should have yelled.

Called him crazy.

Asked if he’d lost his mind.

But I couldn’t.

Jaeyul’s body collapsed against my chest,

as he clung to me tightly.

Like someone desperately begging not to be abandoned.

“…So please…

don’t leave me again….”

All I could do was gently stroke his hair.

I had no idea how to describe this storm of emotions inside me.

My heart was unbearably loud.

But one thing was clear.

Something about Jaeyul…

was wrong.

Thanks to sleeping in a comfortable bed for the first time in ages, I slept deeply.

I woke up feeling light and refreshed.

After sleeping for so long, I woke with a strange pressure on my chest—

Poppy was curled up on top of me, fast asleep.

With Poppy perched on my head,

I opened the bedroom door and was greeted by a mouthwatering smell of food.

Following the scent down the hallway into the living room,

I saw Jaeyul standing in the kitchen, cooking.

“You’re up, hyung?”

“Uh….”

“I feel bad, but I have to leave early today,

so you’ll probably have to eat breakfast alone.”

He was already dressed for work, sleeves of his white shirt rolled up to his forearms as he worked the wok.

Whoosh, whoosh.

Each time he moved it, the muscles in his arm bulged beneath his grip.

Even his arms under the white shirt looked ready to burst through the fabric—

and his chest beneath that thin cloth too—

ha….

The half-naked image of Jaeyul from last night overlapped in my mind again.

That… beautiful body….

I must not have fully woken up yet.

What kind of trash thoughts are these?!

Thinking things I shouldn’t about my younger brother—

I slapped my own cheek hard, snapping my spiraling mind back into place.

“I made breakfast, so have some coffee first and eat slowly.”

When I stepped closer to the table, it looked like something straight out of a hotel breakfast spread.

One plate piled high with fresh salad greens.

Another with apples, melon, and mango cut into bite-sized pieces.

And in front of my seat—

toast, along with freshly stir-fried vegetables and eggs.

A flawless breakfast, without a single thing out of place.

If he cooked this well,

why had he been living without eating properly all this time?

“What about you?

Did you eat?”

“I ate while I was cooking.

I’m running late, hyung.

I have to go all the way to Gyeonggi, so I should get going.”

Jaeyul lowered his rolled-up sleeves and strapped on his watch.

Then he grabbed his jacket and hurried toward the entrance.

Anyone could tell he was in a rush.

Holding a cup of warm coffee,

I followed him to the door.

He was so busy preparing that he didn’t even look at me.

To anyone else, it might look like… he was running away.

No—maybe he really was.

“Hey.”

“…….”

At my call, Jaeyul froze with his hand on the door.

Yeah.

I knew it.

This bastard really was planning to feed me and then run.

“What’s the door code?”

“…Hyung….”

Did he really think I wouldn’t notice?

He must’ve planned to lock me in again and go to work.

His voice dropped to a tiny whisper.

“I need to go grocery shopping later,

and Poppy needs a walk too.

If not, at least register my fingerprint before you go.”

Jaeyul stared at me with a strange look,

as if trying to decide whether I was telling the truth.

Does he really think I’m someone who lies that much?

“Don’t worry.

I’m not going to run away again.

And besides—this spy won’t let me.”

The spy in question—Poppy—was perched on my head, refusing to leave.

As if he’d received some secret orders.

Only then did a smile finally spread across Jaeyul’s face.

He must have decided I wasn’t lying.

Despite his large build, he rushed at me like an ambush and pulled me into a tight hug.

“Hey—coffee!

You’re going to spill it!

I can’t breathe!”

“Thank you, hyung.

Really… thank you so much.”

And so, I chose to live together with Jaeyul again.

I don’t know if it was the right choice.

But… seeing how happy he was,

I guess it’ll be okay.