Chapter 64: What I Couldn’t Say

“Haah… ha….”

I don’t know how long he’d been swallowed by that searing heat on his own, but Jaeyul’s body in my arms felt like a blazing furnace.

His bare chest and back, stripped of his shirt, were drenched in cold sweat.

Even the breaths spilling from his mouth carried heavy heat.

Jaeyul was still unconscious.

And yet, the light bombs continued to orbit him, just like back when he was thirteen.

Even then, he had manifested this ability while unconscious.

It was probably an instinctive defense mechanism triggered by sensing danger.

“Ugh… ngh…!”

As the number of light bombs slicing past me increased, my stamina began to drop.

There was no time to waste, so I kept Jaeyul in my arms and poured mana into him.

As I activated my ability, my anxiety only grew stronger.

What if my insignificant power was of no help to Jaeyul at all.

Considering that even the center’s guides had failed, that possibility was high.

On top of that, Jaeyul was already in a full rampage state, making it even harder to stop by conventional means.

Even so, I had to do it.

With a desperate wish, I let mana flow through the palm pressed against Jaeyul.

But something went wrong.

In an instant, all the light bombs circling around Jaeyul flew toward the isolation room walls at once.

Crash, craaash!

Boooom!

Violent tremors followed, as if the building itself were about to collapse.

Even the blaring sirens abruptly fell silent, as though they had broken.

Jaeyul’s rampage didn’t stop there.

Even more light bombs formed and began slamming into the walls with brutal force.

“Jin Sehyun! Why the hell are you acting up too?!

Haah… I’ll block the gas deployment somehow, so calm him down no matter what!

If it’s impossible… at least you get out!”

Through the crackling speakers came Oh Seonggyu’s final warning.

If this hadn’t been a specially reinforced isolation room — if Jaeyul’s light bombs were just a little stronger — this entire space would have exploded without a doubt.

“…Ah…!”

At least one thing was fortunate.

My mana was flowing properly into Jaeyul’s body.

It was being sucked in rapidly, like pouring water into a bottomless jar, but still — it wasn’t completely ineffective.

“Jaeyul, it’s okay.

I’m right here with you… you don’t have to worry about anything anymore.”

Just a little more.

Just a little.

As quickly as possible, I tried to calm the power raging in all directions by pouring as much mana into Jaeyul as I could.

And the more my mana spread through every corner of his body, the more clearly I could tell.

“You’ve had it really hard, Jaeyul….”

How long he had gone without proper treatment.

His mana was so hopelessly tangled that it was a wonder he hadn’t gone berserk sooner.

If only someone had paid a bit more attention.

If only he had been assigned a proper guide, just a little sooner.

Things never would have deteriorated this far.

Anger threatened to surge up, but I pushed it aside for now.

At this moment, calming Jaeyul was the only goal that mattered.

After continuing the guiding for quite some time, a serious problem arose.

“C–cough…!”

At some point, my mana had nearly run dry.

This was something I’d never experienced even while running an illegal guiding office.

I had taken Petra consistently for so long — how much had I consumed by now.

Running out of mana hadn’t happened since the first time I awakened, back when I met Poppy.

It felt as though my insides were being twisted apart as blood surged up my throat.

“Hey, you!

Get out of there right now!

This is a failure — give up and stop!

We need to deploy the gas…!

Hey! Oh Seonggyu, let go of me!”

The sounds of a loud struggle between someone and Oh Seonggyu echoed from outside.

What that person shouted might have been right.

If I let go and ran now, I might survive.

But how could I turn away again, leaving Jaeyul behind like this.

Leaving him alone in the middle of such a crisis.

“…H–ha, it’s okay… okay….”

I hugged Jaeyul’s body even tighter.

I wrung out every last drop of strength I had left and continued guiding.

Just so Jaeyul’s mana could calm down, even a little more.

“It’s okay… it’s o–okay… c–cough….”

I don’t even know who those words were meant for.

Comfort for Jaeyul, or self-hypnosis for myself.

It felt like if I guided just a bit more, this rampage would stop.

Like if I poured in just a little more strength, I could calm him.

But once again, that little bit was lacking.

Just like four years ago, during the battle that tore us apart.

How infuriating.

How pathetic.

Was I failing to protect Jaeyul once again.

I no longer had the strength to hold him.

My vision flickered black and white.

The arms I thought I was gripping him with slowly loosened.

My knees buckled.

My eyelids fell shut.

My body began to collapse toward the floor.

I expected my back to hit the hard floor,

but something soft cradled the nape of my neck instead.

Before I could even check what it was, my consciousness cut out.

“I should’ve killed you back then.”

“You?

This bastard’s gone blind and is spouting nonsense now, huh?”

“So what, did you think I’d still treat you like a team leader in this situation?”

“Good grief… this bastard and that bastard, treating me like a public punching bag.

I should be the one to die, me!”

“Why did you call my brother here and cause this mess in the first place.

You’d better just pray quietly.

If my brother doesn’t wake up properly, I’ll kill you first.”

…Uh.

Um….

Is it okay to open my eyes now…?

Or should I wait until the atmosphere settles down a bit more?

To be honest, I regained consciousness a while ago.

But the conversation between Jaeyul and Oh Seonggyu beside me is so murderous that I’m keeping my eyes tightly shut.

Our Jaeyul…

He learned how to say such terrifying things….

“Why don’t you open your eyes already, Jin Sehyun?”

At Oh Seonggyu’s sudden words, I cracked my eyes open.

“…You knew?”

“You’ve been wiggling your toes for a while now.

How could I not know?

Were you pretending to be unconscious this whole time to try and get someone killed?”

I awkwardly propped myself up.

No — I tried to sit up, but a sudden force shoved me back down, my back hitting the bed again.

“Hyung!”

A pitch-black mass latched onto my body.

It was Jaeyul — the same Jaeyul who had just been talking about killing Oh Seonggyu.

“Are you okay?

Does anything hurt?

What were you thinking, doing something so dangerous….”

Instead of telling him to move because he was heavy,

I pulled him into an embrace as he fired off question after question.

“…Jaeyul….”

The last thing I remembered before losing consciousness was Jaeyul in the middle of a rampage.

With those emotions still vividly lingering, seeing him perfectly fine made my heart pound wildly.

“Thank you.

Really.”

Relief came first.

Relief that Jaeyul had made it through the rampage safely.

And relief that my insignificant ability had actually worked on him.

Just imagining the possibility of failing to protect Jaeyul this time was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

If that “little bit” of strength had been lacking and I’d lost him, I would’ve fallen into unbearable self-blame.

“Who are you thanking?

I’m the grateful one.

It’s no exaggeration to say I survived because of you.”

Maybe he had been scared too.

Jaeyul hugged me tightly.

The warmth spreading through my body eased my heart even more.

It was proof that both Jaeyul and I were safe.

“…But, hyung.”

“Yeah?”

We’d already confirmed we were both safe, and the emotional reunion should’ve ended by now,

yet Jaeyul stayed in the same position and spoke right into my ear.

“Who told you to do something that dangerous.”

“H–huh…?”

That was strange.

Just moments ago, his voice had been full of worry.

But the voice I heard now was different.

Almost… angry…?

“What kind of guide jumps straight into a berserk esper.

Were you trying to die together with me?”

“Well, I had to save you somehow!

Th–that’s why I did it….”

A heavy sigh spilled against my ear.

Then Jaeyul pulled away, supported my back, and helped me sit up on the bed.

He sat facing me, gripping both my arms tightly as he spoke.

“Listen carefully, hyung.

Never do something that dangerous again.

Even if I’m in danger, your life comes first.

If you had died, would it really be a good thing that I survived like this?”

It’s been a long time…

That time is back again.

Sun Jaeyul’s lecture time — the one I really hate.

If this were four years ago, I would’ve brushed it off with a perfunctory apology.

‘You’re right.’

‘Yeah, it was my fault.’

‘I won’t do it again.’

But this time, even pretending to agree felt difficult.

“Jaeyul, that’s only natural.

If there’s even a chance to save you, how could I ignore it.

Besides, everything turned out fine in the end, right?

We’re both safe.”

Knowing why Jaeyul was saying all this, I spoke gently, trying to soothe him.

Jaeyul stared at me with a complicated expression for a moment before speaking.

“You’re right.

If I were in that situation, I would’ve done the same thing.

But… what if you’d been caught up in the rampage and lost your limbs, or ended up paralyzed.

Of course, if that happened, I’d take responsibility for you for the rest of my life.

But shouldn’t something like that never happen in the first place?”

I was momentarily speechless at the sheer brutality of his example.

Jaeyul tightened his grip on my arms even more.

It felt like my arms might snap clean off.

This kid…

Somehow, over the past four years, he’s developed a strangely lethal edge.

Before, I could’ve brushed it off as a joke.

Now, it genuinely feels like I’m being scolded for real.

“Promise me.

That you’ll never, ever do something like that again.

No matter what happens, you’ll put your own safety first.”

Ah.

He’s serious.

Jaeyul was genuinely angry.

His eyes, fixed on me, held flickering rage.

He must’ve been that worried about me.

If our positions were reversed, I would’ve been the same.

“Okay.

I promise.”

So I gave him a promise I didn’t truly mean.

Just to put his mind at ease.

If something like this happened again, I would do the exact same thing.

“Enough of this crap — take a look at this.

Looks like… things have gotten bad.”

In the middle of our heartfelt family bonding, Oh Seonggyu cut in.

With an exasperated expression, he tossed a crumpled piece of paper onto my bed.

“What is it?”

“A warrant for forced physical execution.”

“…For who….”

“Jin Sehyun.

You.”

…What?