Chapter 68: A Kiss I could not finish.

The table between him and me disappeared somewhere. He crossed the narrow space, now unobstructed by anything, in one breath.

“Jay.”

His hand touched my cheek. The slightly cool temperature of that hand didn’t surprise me. I knew he always wanted to confirm.

Even knowing that, I couldn’t breathe properly. Because the emotions shimmering in those blue eyes looked so beautiful. Enough to stimulate even my greed.

He treated me like glass that would shatter with just a little warmth. His touch examining the wound that left no trace persistently was very soft.

“…Jay.”

When his low voice called me again, when his hand hesitated greatly and caressed my lips, I closed my eyes.

His lips touched mine. Just as lips touching, like that day.

Fresh like a boy, and just as pure.

“Jay…”

With lips still touching, he called me again. As if craving something I couldn’t fully convey to him yet.

Waiting for me to allow him.

I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

I couldn’t be entirely happy about this moment when his heart poured onto me. Although we shared emotions of the same name, they couldn’t be exactly the same.

I couldn’t return the sincerity conveyed uprightly as it was.

Fear still existed within me.

Not because he was an Alpha with strong pheromones. Nor because I was a Beta who couldn’t feel anything.

It was no longer because of those reasons.

If a moment comes someday when I become no longer needed by him. Or if I cease to love him. If my heart, swollen full, becomes empty one day.

I didn’t have the courage to endure that moment of loss again.

My lips touching his trembled. No matter how much I tried to put strength into them, I couldn’t part my closed lips.

Because my feelings grew too big, because I came to love you so much that I can’t handle it. Before I knew it, it became like that, and now I know that fact too well.

I couldn’t say that I’m scared of the end approaching when we haven’t even started properly, that I’m too scared of that time when I will lose someday, so let’s get close only as much as we can bear.

I should say sorry.

When I barely opened my lips, his tongue pushed into my mouth.

Every place his tongue touched was explored. Scraping the thin flesh inside the cheeks, lifting under the tongue and sucking the saliva coming out.

“Ngh…”

When the roof of my mouth was licked several times, I eventually couldn’t stop the sound bursting out.

The next moment, I had to inhale urgently enough to make a gasping sound. The movement of his tongue invading inside my lips became more intense. He acted as if to take everything of mine. The saliva flowing abundantly, and even the air I inhaled.

When there was no place left in my mouth he didn’t know, he entangled my stiffened tongue. Dragging it into his mouth and sucking it enough to make wet sounds.

Forgetting patience, he was rough and persistent.

His tongue, hotter than body temperature, stirred up even my mind.

Haa. Haa. The realization that the excited breathing sounds were mine came much later. He sucked my lips, thoroughly wet and swollen, without getting tired.

Finally, when he let go of my lips, my cheeks cupped in his hands were thoroughly wet with tears. The unstoppable tears wet even his hands.

“I am, sorry.”

The words barely leaked out trembled terribly. Even I didn’t properly know if it was words rejecting him entirely, or apologizing for crying at his kiss.

I just felt sorry for him. I felt pity for him loving me, such a coward.

His lips touching my wet face, however, were smiling.

“Don’t be sorry, Jay.”

With his lips attached to my cheek, he whispered.

“There’s no need. You don’t have to be sorry to me.”

It seemed he already knew the words I couldn’t convey properly.

He drank the tears I couldn’t stop shedding without getting tired.

It felt like all moisture in my body had escaped. Even after the tears barely stopped, I couldn’t open my eyes. His cool hand cooled my forehead, slightly feverish.

“I’ll take you to the bedroom.”

My body floated lightly. Holding me sideways, he started moving carefully.

Thump. I heard his heart beating. Every time he took a step, his heart beat loudly.

The way to the only room in my small single-story house wasn’t far.

When he put me down on the bed, I curled my body. Feeling like I would reach out unknowingly towards the body temperature wrapping me. Feeling like I, who have no confidence to love him to the end, would do something I shouldn’t.

“See you tomorrow.”

Words promising tomorrow naturally were heard.

The duvet wrapped over me. As if to convey the warmth he couldn’t convey directly.

I hid under the duvet. Still, I could feel his gaze staying on me.

Thud. Only when the sound of the door closing was finally heard could I breathe.

The summer air felt only chilly to me.

****

Suddenly, my eyes opened. The scent of the forest rose in the chilly wind. Only then did I realize I opened my eyes in a dream, not reality.

I lay my body down again on dry fallen leaves. The wet leaves above my head boasted the fresh smell of grass. A smile formed for no reason.

Drip. Dew formed on the leaves fell on my forehead, but it wasn’t cold. It’s natural. This is a dream…

I sat up abruptly. The smell of dry leaves crushed in my hand wafted strongly.

I felt the smell of the forest.

I stood up completely from sitting.

Leaves holding dew, the smell of soil and moss, even the smell from cracked bark could be smelled vividly.

Clearly, I couldn’t smell the scent here before. This forest scent reminiscent of the King’s Brother’s pheromones.

Could it be that I could smell the forest scent even before? Just as I was agonizing over whether I just didn’t realize it, water rose beneath my feet.

I was dragged into deep water just like that.

The water, which was clear enough to see the bottom, was all murky for some reason. It was impossible even to distinguish between the lake bottom and the surface.

No matter how much I flailed my limbs, I couldn’t get out of the water. Fear struck that I might have to be alone in this dark water forever. The vicious cycle of fear slowing my movements is just terrible.

《Jay.》

When I couldn’t do anything about my sinking body, a voice calling me was heard. It was his voice.

I moved my limbs with all my might again. Following the voice calling my name.

Before I knew it, sunlight began to appear. The surface was right in front of my eyes.

Why couldn’t I do such an easy thing and was sinking? Just as relief set in.

I couldn’t go any further. Rather, my body moved away from the surface. My legs were heavy.

“Jay.”

Even the voice calling me blurred.

Shackles were tied to my legs. Thick and heavy shackles connected by a thick chain dragged me down to the bottom of the water.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t undo the shackles.

My breath was blocked. I forced my closing eyes open wide.

At that moment, I made eye contact with someone. With the eyes of the person holding the chain connected to the shackles binding my ankles at the bottom of the lake. Clearly holding murderous intent towards me.

Although it was a person I saw for the first time, I could recognize who he was at a glance. That was an instinct inherent in my body.

He was my mother who gave birth to my body here.

****

Suddenly, my eyes opened. I inhaled urgently.

Only after realizing there was no difficulty in breathing could I look around.

The bright vision was awkward. Blinking several times, I barely realized. This was my small house, my room, on my bed.

I exhaled a long breath.

My head was heavy. When the thought occurred that it was fortunate I woke up from the dream, I ended up chuckling. The summer sunlight was beating down stingingly early today as well.

What I saw in the dream seemed to signify something that actually happened. The person who gave birth to me probably really tried to kill me. Perhaps when I was in his womb.

There is no clear basis, but I had a feeling it was so.

To the ‘young master’ whom the hunter who raised me called so sorrowfully, I seem to have been an unwanted result.

I don’t know what story he had. I won’t know in the future either, but still, I eventually survived and exist here.

The sunlight penetrating the thin curtain covering the window heated my skin.

My lips that touched him felt hot.

****

Letting the morning time flow blankly, I left the house only at a time when I could barely avoid being late.

The Beta residential area is very busy from the morning. The sight of people moving in one direction almost standing in line reminded me of the commute in South Korea.

But there were clearly different points too. Among people heading to work, there were quite a few children. Kids looking about twelve were walking the street chattering among themselves. A very contrasting appearance to adults soaked in fatigue.

Some lucky ones might be on their way to the school the King’s Brother recently established, but most were children who worked. Still, laughter didn’t cease as if something was fun.

I must be the luckiest person on this street. Probably the only one doing what he wants to his heart’s content.

It all started with meeting the King’s Brother.

Even if he’s not by my side, his traces could be found everywhere. In the person called me itself.

The one who completed me here was not the person who gave birth to me, but rather him.

Thump. The sound of my heart beating seemed to be heard exceptionally loud.

Thump. It felt a little painful too.