Chapter 87: The Weight of a Secret and a Tender Reproach

Su Mian, of course, had no way of knowing that her little secret had already been stumbled upon by her two roommates at the basketball court, leading to a rather in-depth discussion.

At this moment, all her senses and focus were consumed by the man holding her, and the myriad burning gazes surrounding them.

Held steadily in Xiao Moyuan’s arms in a princess carry, they moved along the campus path where streetlights had just begun to glow.

Su Mian was so overcome with shyness that she yearned to bury her entire head.

She could distinctly feel countless eyes fixed upon them, accompanied by a chorus of gasps and whispers, and even the telltale ‘click’ of phone cameras.

“Oh my god! It’s Campus Prince Xiao! Who is that he’s holding?!”

“Wuwuwu… My husband Xiao actually has a girlfriend now? My heart is shattered!”

“Look at that girl! She’s so beautiful! Is she from our school? How have I never seen her before?”

“Definitely not, right? Look at her aura, her clothes—she’s clearly a young lady from a good family. She looks absolutely perfect standing with Campus Prince Xiao!”

“Yes, yes, I’m unwilling, but… they really do seem like a perfect match…”

The chatter clearly reached Su Mian’s ears.

From initial shock and jealousy, the murmurs gradually transformed into sighs of regret and even acceptance.

These words, falling upon her sensitive heart, filled her with an absurd mix of shame and panic.

She could only tightly close her eyes, as if doing so could shut out all external stimuli.

It wasn’t until Xiao Moyuan gently placed her into the passenger seat and closed the car door, severing all sight and sound from the outside, that Su Mian slowly opened her eyes.

The car was silent. Xiao Moyuan quietly started the engine and smoothly drove out of the campus.

He didn’t play music or speak, simply focusing on the road ahead, his profile appearing somewhat stern in the shifting light outside the window.

This silence, more than any direct questioning, filled Su Mian with dread.

The air felt solidified.

She nervously twisted her fingers, her body beneath the trench coat subtly tensing.

Perhaps to break the suffocating awkwardness, or perhaps to gauge his mood, Su Mian mustered her courage and spoke in a small, trembling falsetto.

“Brother… where… where are we going to eat?”

Xiao Moyuan’s gaze remained fixed on the road, his face devoid of expression. His tone was flat, yet held an undeniable finality: “To my place.”

To his place?!

Su Mian’s heart abruptly constricted.

At this hour, going to his home for dinner? How late would it be after they finished eating? Would he… would he use this as an excuse to make her stay the night?

The thought of the potential consequences sent a shiver down Su Mian’s spine.

Given Xiao Moyuan’s current cold, seemingly furious state, she had no doubt that if she went, she might truly be…

After all, her actions today, under the guise of ‘Sweetheart Marshmallow,’ could be considered ‘egregious crimes.’

Sneaking off to school without telling her official ‘boyfriend,’ even going so far as to send messages to test him—it clearly implied a guilty conscience.

By all appearances, it looked exactly like a scene where someone caught cheating was being exposed.

No wonder Xiao Moyuan was so angry, even suspecting her of secretly meeting another man.

With a heart full of unease, Su Mian entered Xiao Moyuan’s apartment for the second time.

“You can watch TV for a bit.”

Xiao Moyuan calmly dropped the words before heading straight into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

He didn’t lose his temper, didn’t question her, and was even still willing to cook for her.

Yet, this seemingly calm demeanor instilled more fear and unease in Su Mian than any harsh words could.

The calm before a storm is often the most oppressive.

Dinner was soon served, still visually appealing, fragrant, and delicious—and almost entirely composed of Su Mian’s preferred dishes.

Xiao Moyuan meticulously arranged her tableware and even personally served her rice. His movements remained elegant and considerate, yet he never once met her gaze or initiated a single word.

Looking at the table laden with her favorite dishes, Su Mian felt a complex swirl of emotions. Her throat felt constricted, and she had no appetite whatsoever.

The oppressive silence made it almost impossible to breathe.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, she put down her chopsticks, looked up, and met the eyes of the man silently eating across from her.

Her voice held an almost imperceptible catch and tremor: “Brother… do you… do you think I’ve… done something to betray you?”

She didn’t know why she was so afraid of him misunderstanding her; this panic even surpassed her fear of her identity being exposed.

The thought of Xiao Moyuan disliking her and leaving her because of this made her heart feel as if an invisible hand was squeezing it tightly, an agonizing pain.

Xiao Moyuan’s movement of picking up a dish paused slightly. He finally raised his eyes to look at her.

The emotions in his deep eyes were indiscernible. He didn’t answer her question, but calmly stated a fact: “I saw you at the basketball court, giving water to another guy.”

Boom!

The words struck Su Mian’s heart like a hammer.

Her mind went blank.

He saw her!

He really did see her!

And he remembered it clearly!

It was over; this was a complete dead end!

How was she supposed to explain?

Say Lu Yang was just a friend?

That she was just helping out by pretending to be a fangirl?

Don’t be ridiculous!

Xiao Moyuan knew Lu Yang. If he were to ask Lu Yang, “Why is my girlfriend giving you water?” The consequences… Su Mian dared not even imagine!

Lu Yang knew her true identity as a cross-dresser!

As soon as Xiao Moyuan asked, Lu Yang would know she was dating Xiao Moyuan, and at that point, she would suffer complete social death in front of her roommates!

Any attempt to refute was a dead end!

There was no way to explain it clearly!

Despair and grievance engulfed her.

Compared to the even more terrifying truth of being completely exposed as ‘Su Mian’ in front of Xiao Moyuan,

She would rather, rather let others think ‘Sweetheart Marshmallow’ was a promiscuous ‘scum girl’ and just break up…

As soon as this thought arose, a sharp pain spread from her heart, making it almost impossible to breathe.

Why did it hurt so much?

She had initially approached him for revenge, and now that her plan was nearing success, why did she feel such reluctance, such… fear of losing him?

She didn’t want to delve into the origin of these feelings, but she clearly felt the panic of impending abandonment and a deep-seated sense of injustice.

Thus, under Xiao Moyuan’s invisible pressure, she chose silence.

She lowered her head, biting her lower lip tightly, her hands clenched into fists under the table. Her nails dug deeply into her palms, causing a subtle sting that was a mere fraction of the pain in her heart.

“Why aren’t you speaking?”

Xiao Moyuan’s voice grew colder, tinged with clear displeasure and disappointment.

This icy tone was a knife, plunging deeply into Su Mian’s already fragile heart.

He truly… truly had started to dislike her…

He would never again indulge her gently or tease her as he had before…

A wave of grievance surged, instantly breaking through her rational defenses.

Large tears, without warning, spilled from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and onto the rice in front of her.

Xiao Moyuan’s originally stern heart softened the instant he saw her tears.

He put down his chopsticks, sighed softly, and his voice unconsciously became gentler: “Alright, I won’t ask anymore. Be good, eat first.”

This sudden tenderness seemed to flip a switch.

Su Mian’s tightly wound nerves completely snapped, and her suppressed sobs could no longer be held back.

“Wuwuwu… I’m sorry… Brother! I’m sorry!”

She cried uncontrollably, her shoulders trembling slightly.

“I truly, truly only like you! I haven’t done anything to betray you! Believe me… wuwuwu…”

She repeated herself incoherently, as if trying to cry out all her panic and grievance.

Xiao Moyuan rose and walked to her side, gently patting her back. His movements were soft and comforting, his voice low and warm: “I know, I know everything. I believe you.”

The more gently he comforted her, the more intensely Su Mian cried.

The accumulated pressure over this period, the anxiety about her identity, her increasingly complex feelings for Xiao Moyuan, and the immense shock and grievance she had just experienced—all transformed into a torrent of tears.

Xiao Moyuan said nothing more, simply staying by her side patiently, occasionally offering tissues and gently wiping away her tear stains, silently waiting for her to vent.

She eventually exhausted her emotions.

Ten minutes later, Su Mian’s sobs gradually diminished into small sniffles, eventually subsiding completely.

She was somewhat drained from crying, her eyes and nose red, looking pitiful and disheveled.

As she regained her composure, she felt a sense of bewilderment and shame at her earlier emotional outburst.

She had actually cried in front of Xiao Moyuan again, and this time, as ‘Sweetheart Marshmallow.’

“Alright, if you’ve cried enough, let’s eat. The dishes are cold.”

Xiao Moyuan’s tone returned to its usual calm, as if the earlier interlude had never happened.

He stood up and took a few dishes back to the kitchen to reheat them.

Watching his busy silhouette in the kitchen, Su Mian’s sense of guilt intensified.

He had clearly witnessed such a ‘suspicious’ scene, yet upon seeing her tears, he chose unconditional trust and understanding. This gentleness made her feel more ashamed than any reproach could.

An absurd and dangerous thought, unrestrained, bubbled up from the depths of her heart.

If… if she used her female body, would it be able to atone for this guilt?

The moment this thought emerged, Su Mian herself was startled, her cheeks instantly burning crimson, astonishingly hot.

How could she have such a shameless thought!

Her mother had clearly stated that if she had relations with a man, she would never be able to change back into a girl!

“What are you thinking about? Your face is so red?”

Xiao Moyuan walked out with the reheated dishes, just catching the lingering blush on her face and her evasive gaze.

Su Mian was in a state of emotional turmoil. When he asked, she instinctively blurted out: “Give… once…”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she froze, then wished she could bite off her own tongue!

Xiao Moyuan evidently heard those three words. He paused for a moment, then seemed to understand something, a playful curve gracing his lips.

His low chuckle was especially clear in the quiet living room.

“The moment your mind wanders, you start having these suggestive thoughts?”

He approached her, leaned down, his smiling gaze falling on her earlobes, which were so red they almost looked like they were bleeding.

He recognized her reaction, which was exactly like her daringly flirtatious online persona.

His breath brushed her cheek, his voice laced with temptation:

“Then how about… you stay here tonight? Fulfilling your wish?”

“No, no! That’s not what I meant!”

Su Mian frantically waved her hands, her mind racing, trying to salvage the situation. “What I meant was… was that next time, I’ll cook for you, Brother!”

“Yes! I said cooking! To repay you!”

She emphasized, trying to cover her tracks, unaware that her flustered, crimson-faced appearance was, in Xiao Moyuan’s eyes, far more alluring than any direct invitation.