Chapter 35: The Old Pervert’s Revenge

The old man’s laughter sent shivers down Xiaoke’s spine. “Hey, you old pervert, do we know each other?” Xiaoke shouted, bristling.

“That arrogant attitude—it’s definitely you,” the old man chuckled, a smug expression spreading across his face. “Did you think changing your identity would let you continue causing mischief? How naive.

“To get my revenge one day, I spent hundreds of years studying Haotian Daoist Venerable’s design manuscripts about you. I know everything about your body, inside and out.”

Xiaoke was dumbfounded. ‘It’s over,’ he thought. ‘My reputation is ruined!’ This was an old pervert on par with Haotian, and his target was none other than Xiaoke himself.

“Fellow Daoist, don’t be rash,” Xiaoke pleaded. “Like this, you might only get my body, but you’ll never win my heart.”

“My heart? Why would I want your heart?” the old man sneered. “I just want to torment your body. No, I’ll torment your heart too! Only then can I resolve the resentment from my childhood!”

Xiaoke’s face was a mask of despair. “To think my purity, Xiaoke’s purity, would fall into the hands of an old pervert like you. Come on, then. If I utter a single cry, I’m not Xiaoke!”

The old man’s brow furrowed into black lines. “It seems our thoughts are diverging. Little Haotian, you even abandoned the name Haotian Daoist Venerable bestowed upon you just to escape your old enemies. You’re really desperate.”

Xiaoke stared at the old man, a look of surprise on his face. “Me? Afraid of those fools? Cowardice doesn’t exist for me! My name was chosen by my new master. Wait, no, who exactly are you? How do you know so much?”

The old man calmly replied, “You don’t recognize me? Well, it has been almost a thousand years. I’ve gone from a snot-nosed kid to an old man. But the childhood trauma you inflicted upon me is still as vivid as yesterday.”

Xiaoke looked utterly bewildered. “What did I do to you?”

The more the old man thought, the angrier he became. “Do you remember that child you tricked into serving you tea and water all those years ago? Don’t you feel even a shred of guilt?”

Xiaoke paused, then scratched his head. “Um, could you be more specific? I don’t remember. I tricked too many people back then. Many even died because of my schemes, let alone those who simply brought me tea and water.”

The old man’s mouth twitched, and he took a ragged breath. “Alright, let me give you a hint. Do you remember the first time you went to meet the Two-tailed Nekomata, the guardian beast of Heavenly Capital Forest?”

Xiaoke pondered for a moment. “I think I have a faint impression.”

The old man’s breathing grew heavier, his voice thick with indignation. “Do you remember how, to lure the Two-tailed Nekomata out, you tricked a boy from a nearby village into covering himself in catnip and wandering through the forest with you?”

Xiaoke’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me you’re—ah!”

The old man’s body trembled as he pulled a button from his storage ring and pressed it. The cage Xiaoke was in instantly surged with electricity, transforming Xiaoke into a glowing skeleton in a flash. “I was just a child back then! Do you have any idea what it felt like to be tackled by a gigantic Royal Extreme Realm Nekomata and licked all over?”

After the electric shock subsided, Xiaoke weakly offered, “But I had already investigated thoroughly. That creature doesn’t eat meat; it just gets a little disoriented when it inhales catnip. Didn’t I call Haotian to save you later? Besides, if it weren’t for me, how would you have ever met Haotian?”

The old man was trembling with rage. “If Daoist Venerable had been a step slower, that cat would have sucked me dry! I didn’t know it was a vegetarian, and you never told me! I was scared to death when I saw it charging at me like a mad beast!”

Xiaoke’s conscience pricked him slightly. “I gave you all sorts of enhancement pills beforehand; your body could definitely handle it.

Perhaps it was my first time using catnip, and I didn’t get the dosage right, so you were ‘sucked’ for a bit longer. But I had already called for help before the medicine wore off.”

“But my young heart suffered a heavy blow!” the old man fumed, reaching to press the button again.

Xiaoke quickly interjected, “But if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have been kept by Haotian all these years!”

The old man touched his head. “Oh, you’re right.”

Xiaoke immediately chuckled. “See? I told you!”

“See my head!” The old man cranked the electricity to maximum and pressed the button viciously.

“Tell me, how many times did you trick me after that? Was there ever a time I came out unscathed after being tricked by you? If Haotian Daoist Venerable hadn’t been so attentive, I would have died countless times already!”

“Aaaah!” Xiaoke screamed, his entire body glowing, bones clearly visible as if undergoing an X-ray.

The old man looked frantic. “I just don’t understand! With so many people in the Heavenly Palace Institute, why did you relentlessly target me?”

Xiaoke tremblingly lifted his head. “I couldn’t help it. Everyone else was too smart; tricking them once or twice wouldn’t work. Only you were foolish back then, aaaah!”

The old man’s face turned ashen. He pressed the button once more. “Still unrepentant. Would it kill you to say something nice?”

After thoroughly venting his frustration, the old man felt completely refreshed. The boundary of his cultivation, which had been stagnant for so long, even seemed to loosen. It felt wonderful.

Xiaoke stubbornly stood up, a curious expression on his face. “How strange. You actually survived until now. Then you must at least be in the Royal Extreme Realm, right?”

“Indeed,” the old man said proudly. “I broke through to the Royal Extreme Realm five hundred years ago.”

Xiaoke’s mouth gaped open. “I remember you having incredibly poor talent. That doesn’t make sense! I was planning to burn paper offerings for you all once my new master grew up!”

The old man’s face instantly darkened. ‘Burn paper offerings for me? You couldn’t wish for something better, could you?’

“Only two or three of us are left alive. It hasn’t been peaceful these past thousand years, for me…” The old man fixed his gaze on Xiaoke. “I have you to thank, actually.”

Xiaoke was puzzled. “What does that have to do with me?”

The old man reminisced about the time Haotian Daoist Venerable was preparing to leave.

***

“Little You, I’m leaving soon.”

The young boy, Little You, looked teary-eyed. “Alas, Daoist Venerable, what will I do after you leave? Little Haotian will trick me to death!”

“Don’t worry,” Haotian Daoist Venerable reassured him. “I’ve placed it in a book to find its successor. Oh, Little You, do you want to get revenge on it for tricking you so many times?”

Little You answered with conviction, “Yes!”

“After I leave this time, it won’t appear for a very long time, perhaps until its patron is no longer around. Think about it: you get stronger and stronger, and it loses its patron. Won’t your opportunity arrive then?”

Little You’s eyes immediately lit up. “It seems so! But can I live that long? I have no talent, and even with your guidance, I haven’t made much progress.”

“Yes, why not? As an old saying from our place goes: ‘Where there’s a will, a Vajra pestle can be ground into a needle.'”

Little You still looked a bit dejected. “Oh.”

“Ah, Little You, I’ll help you out even more. This is a Memory Crystal. It can perfectly reproduce the memories in your mind, as if they happened just yesterday. Come on, use it to recall everything Little Haotian has done to you during this time.”

Little You pressed his head against the crystal, his expression growing somewhat distorted.

“Now tell me, do you want revenge?”

“Yes!”

“Do you have the confidence to live until Little Haotian reappears?”

“Yes!”

Haotian Daoist Venerable patted Little You’s head and handed him a book. “These are all my research materials on Little Haotian from over the years. Young man, the future belongs to you. I have given you my treasure; go and comprehend it.”

Little You, tears streaming down his face, bowed deeply and respectfully to Haotian Daoist Venerable. “I will not fail you. I will live until that time and take my revenge on it severely.”

“Remember to include my share.”

***

The old man snapped out of his recollections, looking at Xiaoke with a smile. “That’s how it was.”

“Haotian, you bastard! Just you wait!” Xiaoke roared at the sky.

“Heh heh, you’d better worry about yourself first.” The old man chuckled, pressing the button again. “I’ve researched quite a few good things over the years.”

. . . . . .