Chapter 29: The Name That Was Never Mine

After returning to Songdo, Song Seol’s mood had been foul without respite.

In truth, things hadn’t been pleasant in Hanseong either. On a personal level, the intelligent crown prince, his own nephew, had died young, and another nephew was suspected to be behind it.

No one had the nerve to openly accuse Gwanghan Daegun, the only remaining prince. There was no clear evidence, after all. But while there was no proof, suspicion overflowed, and Song Seol himself found Gwanghan Daegun highly suspect.

Amid all this, he heard a most peculiar rumor.

Lord Moon was searching for a bride for his son. Supposedly, he intended to marry off his scentless yin son to a woman in order to continue the family line.

Clinging so desperately to preserve a family line that wasn’t even particularly honorable, normally, Song Seol would have dismissed it with disdain. But this time, he could not ignore it.

Because at the center of it all was Moon Hee-yul.

Trying to assign a wife to his own concubine, it was absurd.

Song Seol immediately began investigating. It didn’t take long to uncover the truth. The person he had believed to be Moon Hee-yul all this time was actually Moon Hae-min, indeed Lord Moon’s son, but not the legitimate one.

At that moment, a deep, suffocating displeasure washed over him.

For an entire year, he had been thoroughly deceived. And by none other than that sly old Lord Moon. Every time he had called him “Hee-yul” without a second thought… what must Hae-min have been thinking?

…Strangely, his anger dulled a little.

At the same time, he wondered if perhaps he shouldn’t be so surprised.

The Hae-min he had known was always composed. Even when something pleased him, he only smiled briefly. Even when treated coldly on purpose, he never showed dissatisfaction. And often, hadn’t he seemed lost in thought?

Lately, that tendency had grown more pronounced, his worries were almost visible. Song Seol had noticed, of course. But since Hae-min hadn’t wished to speak, he had refrained from prying.

To think that this was the cause…

Yes, it was enough to trouble anyone.

In other words, Hae-min’s unnatural calmness had come from knowing that one day his secret would be exposed.

Song Seol found him infuriating, foolish, detestable…

…and pitiful.

How much must he have suffered alone? That must be why, though he seemed to care, he could never fully open his heart.

After a brief but intense deliberation, Song Seol decided to bury the matter.

Not because he wasn’t angry. Not because he forgave Lord Moon.

But because revealing the truth would hurt Hae-min the most.

‘I will not question the crime of deceiving a royal prince. I will not interfere in the real Moon Hee-yul’s affairs. But Moon Hae-min will remain by my side as he is now.’

Lord Moon accepted the proposal. It came with conditions, Hae-min would live as Hee-yul, and the real Hee-yul would remain hidden, but he did not refuse. After all, he was desperate to secure a legitimate heir by any means.

On the journey back to Songdo, Song Seol imagined how Hae-min would react.

At first, he would be shocked. Then he might apologize profusely with the face of a startled deer. If he even began to cry, Song Seol had intended to comfort him.

But…

“My lord! Young Master Hee-yul has disappeared!”

That was the first thing he heard upon arriving.

At first, Song Seol assumed Hae-min had simply gotten lost somewhere.

He wasn’t familiar with Songdo. There had been no one to guide him. And he had no reason to leave the residence.

But that assumption shattered at a single remark from Yoon Seung-hyeok.

“You ask if I’ve seen him? Hmm… I did run into him at a bookshop a few days ago. He seemed rather flustered, though I don’t know why…”

Once he had a lead, everything unfolded quickly.

Song Seol learned everything.

That Hae-min had manifested as an omega. That he was carrying his child. That he intended to leave for Wonya.

That he likely had no intention of ever returning.

The fury that surged up then was far stronger than what he had felt upon learning Hae-min’s true identity.

And even now, eight days after capturing him, it had not subsided.

“…”

Song Seol entered the sarangchae. At his gesture, the guards unlocked the door. He stepped inside.

“M-my- ah, husband…!”

Startled by his presence, Hae-min hurriedly rose. It seemed he had cried himself to sleep again. That behavior, and his continued difficulty in saying “husband”, both displeased Song Seol.

“Has there been any news from Hanseong? I wonder if Bok-deong is well…”

“No news has come.”

“Ah…”

“No news is good news. He must be doing well.”

It was meant as comfort. But the moment he said it, tears streamed down Hae-min’s face.

“I’m so worried… He’s so small… If something happens, all he can do is cry. I don’t even know if there’s someone there to soothe him…”

In truth, the one who could only cry was not the infant, but Hae-min himself.

His eyes were red and raw from constant weeping, his once gentle voice hoarse. Song Seol had come because he’d heard Hae-min wasn’t eating, but it seemed he hadn’t even been drinking water.

“Husband… could you at least tell me how he is?”

“Yesterday you begged me to care for him. Today you ask for news. At this rate, tomorrow you’ll ask to see him.”

“…”

Hae-min pressed his dry lips together. It seemed he truly had intended to ask.

Song Seol understood that longing, but pretended not to.

In truth, there was no need for Hae-min to worry. The child was under elite guard, protected at all times. The Hanseong residence was heavily secured, and a court nurse attended him day and night.

The child was likely far more comfortable than when he had been with Hae-min.

But instead of explaining that, Song Seol asked,

“Why have you stopped eating?”

“I didn’t mean to… I try, but I can’t swallow…”

“Is it because you have no will to live?”

Hae-min inhaled sharply.

Had he struck the truth? Song Seol watched the shadow flicker across his face.

“No… how could you say something so frightening… For Bok-deong’s sake, I must live…” Hae-min murmured faintly.

It wasn’t the answer Song Seol wanted.

“Then force yourself to eat.”

“…Yes.”

“You claim you wish to live, yet you show no sign of it.”

His response was unsatisfactory, so Song Seol pressed again.

At that moment, Hae-min’s scent spread through the air.

Having only recently manifested as an omega, Hae-min couldn’t control it well. Song Seol, on the other hand, had mastered such things from birth.

Scent could convey meaning more directly than words.

And now, Hae-min’s scent was steeped in unmistakable sorrow.

“Why? You truly don’t want to live like this, do you?”

He saw straight through him.

Hae-min’s eyes trembled.

Those eyes, like cracked celadon, once, even filled with tears, they had seemed beautiful to him.

Not anymore.

“Think carefully. I did not summon ‘Moon Hae-min.’ You came to me of your own will.”

“…”

“Whatever the case, you will become my lawful spouse, and the child will grow as a royal. You could call it a rise in status. And yet… why are you like this?”

Shouldn’t he be happier than a year ago?

Song Seol truly could not understand.

Hae-min should not be despairing, he should be grateful. Even if he didn’t smile brightly, at the very least, he should not be weeping.

It made no sense.

Feeling that he might lose his temper if the conversation continued, Song Seol called for tea.

“…”

As the tea steeped, neither of them spoke.

Song Seol suppressed his anger, while Hae-min mulled over his words.

“Why? You don’t want to live like this, do you?”

It was true.

Saying “I must live for Bok-deong” wasn’t a lie.

But separate from that, Hae-min did not want to live like this.

More precisely, he did not want to live as “Moon Hee-yul.”

Being born a bastard did not mean he lacked a sense of self. It had been difficult enough pretending to be Hee-yul for a year, now he was expected to do so for a lifetime?

Just thinking about it made it hard to breathe.

At least before, there had been the hope that it would one day end.

But not anymore.

Unless Song Seol changed his mind, Moon Hae-min would lose his name forever.

‘In the end… I am merely a substitute for Moon Hee-yul.’

The bitterness rose like bile.

Once, he had believed Song Seol acknowledged his abilities, that what he valued was not the legitimate heir of the Moon family, but Moon Hae-min himself, skilled with numbers and writing.

But in the end, the one who could remain by Song Seol’s side was “Moon Hee-yul.”

It wasn’t Song Seol’s fault. It was simply the rigid law of Yeomyeong.

And yet… the sorrow still rose, impossible to suppress.

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