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Join the ServerHis eyes didn’t seem to be focused on Song Seol. Nor did they appear to be fixed on anything else, they were simply unfocused, empty.
Song Seol’s brows drew together slightly. He knew it was because of the pheromones he had released, yet even so, he would have preferred to see a clearer, more lucid gaze. Something like the expression Hee-yul had shown at Yesong Harbor when he first faced the sea…
“Ah… so this is what the sea smells like.”
“You’ve never seen the sea before?”
“No.”
“You mean that literally?”
“Yes. I’ve never seen it.”
As he said that, Moon Hee-yul had drawn in a deep breath, his chest swelling. The ocean breeze had lifted his clothes, making him look like a butterfly freely spreading its wings.
That image, gleaming under the bright sunlight, was still vivid. And yet at the same time, it felt strangely uncertain, almost as if it might not have happened at all.
“…”
Song Seol paused his hand, retracing his memory.
There was no doubt they had gone to Yesong Harbor together. It was also true that Hee-yul had never seen the sea before that day. And yet, oddly enough, the memory felt faded, as though it belonged to a much earlier time.
It left him with a faint sense of unease, but there was no way to pinpoint why. Memories changed as time passed, perhaps it was nothing more than that. He chose not to dwell on it.
“It hurts…”
The soft whimper snapped him back to the present.
“I haven’t even done anything yet. What are you complaining about?”
“But… down there…”
Song Seol lowered his gaze. Hee-yul was already half-aroused. Even in the dim light, it was obvious.
“…Ah.”
He deliberately grabbed him more firmly, drawing a short gasp. Even so, he didn’t loosen his grip, instead running his hand along him slowly.
“You’re not hurting. You’re just aroused.”
“Hng… ngh…”
Hee-yul trembled as if in pain, yet his body responded honestly, growing harder. Song Seol was no different.
“I-I don’t want this…”
“Then say it. Tell me your secret.”
Though he spoke like that, he didn’t particularly care. He was curious about the secret, yes, but for now, enjoying Hee-yul mattered more.
He spread Hee-yul’s legs apart and pressed closer, brushing against him. Hee-yul let out a weak, pleading voice.
“There’s no secret… please, don’t…”
“So you still won’t confess.”
At the indifferent reply, Hae-min bit down on his lip. He had to think of something, anything, to get out of this.
Physically resisting was impossible. The difference in their builds made that obvious. And begging didn’t seem like it would work either.
“…Hng!”
Without warning, Song Seol pushed in, skipping any preparation. The sudden intrusion made Hae-min tense, his already strained body protesting sharply.
“Ah- it hurts…!”
Song Seol thrust roughly, already as intense as if they were deep into it.
The pressure was overwhelming, forcing Hae-min to squirm helplessly beneath him.
“Ah… ngh…”
It felt like his body might split apart. And yet at the same time, it felt good. Each sharp sensation made his toes curl, and that only made it worse.
“I don’t want this… I…”
This was nothing short of torture, the very kind Song Seol had described.
If he didn’t hate it… then maybe it wouldn’t count as torture.
That thought flickered through his mind.
Song Seol’s hand moved over his chest, at first gently, then tightening painfully around a sensitive spot.
“Ah- that hurts…”
The words slipped out without thinking. He quickly shut his mouth, hesitated, then forced himself to speak.
“…I like it.”
“What do you like? This… or everything?”
“…Everything.”
“Everything, is it.”
A faint smile curved on Song Seol’s lips, shadowed and dark in the candlelight.
“If that’s the case, I’ll make it even better.”
He moved again, more forcefully this time. The sensation intensified, overwhelming him.
“Ah-!”
Hae-min trembled, unable to suppress his reactions. When he instinctively tried to close his legs, Song Seol gripped his thighs and forced them apart, pressing in deeper.
“It feels… good… so stop…!”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I-I really don’t have anything to hide… ngh…”
It was a lie, but he had no space for guilt right now.
“Whether you do or not, I have no intention of stopping.”
“That’s unfair…”
Tears welled up, and he struggled to hold them back.
“So, do you hate it that much? Enough that you can’t endure it?”
“…No.”
He didn’t. That was the problem.
It wasn’t the act itself he feared, but what might come from it. And yet the pleasure was too strong, strong enough to make him feel ashamed of himself.
Everything was too much. Pleasure, pain, shame, sorrow, even desire itself. It was all overwhelming. Unable to bear it alone, Hae-min clung to him.
“…Ah…”
“If you’re honest, I won’t push you further tonight.”
It sounded like a generous offer, but Hae-min didn’t have the clarity to question it.
“I… don’t hate it…”
“That’s all?”
The sudden thrust made him arch.
“I-I like it…!”
The words were forced out, but they weren’t entirely false. His voice trembled as he cried out.
“Wait… no…”
“What now?”
“…No knotting… please…”
Fear crept into his voice.
“…If that happens… a child…”
Tears spilled freely now.
Song Seol let out a quiet breath.
“So you don’t want a child.”
In that moment, he understood. That was why Hee-yul despised this so much.
“How amusing. As if I would want one. I have no intention of having a child with you either.”
Silence followed.
Hee-yul gradually went still, as if reassured. Song Seol clicked his tongue, finding it absurd.
He didn’t realize that those words had left a wound behind.
“…Hng…”
Their bodies moved together, the dull sound of skin meeting skin echoing in the room. His pace quickened, the sounds growing heavier, wetter.
Then suddenly, he pulled out. Before Hae-min could even register the emptiness, warmth spilled across his abdomen.
Hae-min barely noticed the mess.
What he felt first was relief.
‘At least… not inside.’
‘At least… no child.’
That alone became the only comfort in that long night.
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