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Join the ServerHis consciousness, which had gone dark, slowly returned.
“…”
Moon Hae-min forced his heavy eyelids open. Even in his hazy state, his first thought was of Bok-deong.
Bok-deong… his child, who deserved to be loved. It was the first time the baby had been separated from him, had he eaten well? Had he slept properly? Worry flooded in.
From there, countless concerns followed. What punishment had the servants received? What had happened to the merchants already struggling because the sea had frozen? And… was the bookshop owner safe?
“Haah…”
The more he thought about it, the heavier his guilt felt. Just as Song Seol had said, everything had happened because of his own foolish recklessness. He had no idea how to atone for it.
Tears streamed down his face. As he wiped them with the back of his hand, Hae-min suddenly realized something.
He was in the sarangchae.
Well, he had been dragged here last night, so perhaps it wasn’t strange. Still, he had subconsciously expected Song Seol to throw him into a prison.
Come to think of it… what would happen to him now?
That question, too, had no answer, and fear rose sharply in his chest. His trembling hands clasped together.
Just then, the paper door slid open roughly.
“…”
Bright sunlight poured in, obscuring the face of the man standing in the doorway. Even so, Hae-min recognized him instantly.
It was Song Seol.
“L-Lord…”
Hae-min pushed himself up from the floor. His head spun at the sudden movement, but he knelt properly nonetheless.
“My lord… what has happened to Bok-deong?”
“Are you curious about that child’s fate?”
Fate. At that cold, detached word, Hae-min swallowed dryly. As expected, Song Seol did not seem the type to love a child simply because it carried his blood.
“That child has been sent to Hanseong.”
“H-Hanseong? Why…?”
“Do you know anything about the affairs of the royal family?”
“…I do not, my lord.”
“Originally, royals are not permitted to leave Hanseong. By law, even I should reside there.”
When the current king had still been crown prince, Song Seol had lived in Hanseong. He had deliberately stayed away from politics to avoid suspicion, yet he still couldn’t escape rumors that he coveted the throne.
In truth, anyone born a prince was bound to face such suspicions. Moreover, Song Seol was known for his excellence in both scholarship and martial skill. Naturally, people assumed he harbored ambition.
But Song Seol had never wanted the throne. What he desired was a life away from the burdens of the capital, where he could use his abilities freely.
So he had left Hanseong and settled in Songdo, his mother’s hometown. There, he governed the region and fostered foreign relations, contributing to the stability of the royal family. The rumors faded, but new problems arose.
“The royal family lacks heirs. The late king had two sons, and so does the current king. But the crown prince has passed away. Now, only one prince remains.”
That prince, Gwanghan Daegun, was infamous for his violent temperament. He was even suspected of assassinating his elder brother, the crown prince.
Naturally, the court was in turmoil, so much so that whispers circulated that it would be better if Song Seol took the throne instead.
“Given the circumstances, wouldn’t it be right to bring that child to Hanseong?”
Song Seol did not elaborate further. There was no need for Hae-min to know the dark intricacies of court politics.
“My lord… Bok-deong is barely fifteen days old. Even if he must go to Hanseong, could he not stay at least until his hundredth day? And now is the coldest time of the year…”
“Did I not say he has been sent to Hanseong?”
“…Do you mean he has already been sent, not that he will be?”
“You finally understand.”
“…”
“He should be passing through Poju by now.”
He spoke as if he were referring to some object sent far away. At that, tears streaked down Hae-min’s pale cheeks.
He had carried Bok-deong constantly, he could still feel the warmth and weight in his arms. And yet the child was gone, already far away…
He hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye.
At least he should have said “I love you” one more time. The thought that the last thing Bok-deong had heard from him was a scream made his heart feel like it was being torn apart.
“…May I ever see him again?”
“That child will grow up in Hanseong, and you will spend your life here. You will never meet, not even by chance.”
“M-My lord…”
If he pleaded, it wouldn’t work. If he resented him, his own guilt was too great. Hae-min could do nothing but tremble and cry.
“…”
“…”
“That child will grow up in comfort in a Hanseong residence. There is no need for concern.”
“…”
“You would do better to worry about yourself.”
The blunt words might have been meant as consolation, but they brought Hae-min no comfort.
“My lord… forgive me for speaking, but I too grew up in a Hanseong residence, lacking for nothing. I never went hungry, and I was able to read fine books.”
Though Lord Moon had not treated him kindly, he had never feared starvation. He had learned by observing his younger brother. It had been a life more comfortable than that of most commoners.
“But I was always lonely.”
“…”
“My lord, a child does not grow up simply by being fed and sheltered. A child, Bok-deong, must be loved.”
Of course, that love did not have to come from him. The child could grow up happy with adoptive parents or a kind nurse. But Hae-min did not believe Song Seol would care enough to arrange such things.
It was not an unfounded worry. Even someone as ignorant of the world as Hae-min knew that the life of royal kin was not always happy. He could only imagine how those of higher status would treat a child born of a lowly parent.
“That child must not grow up as I did… My lord, I know this is shameless, but please let me raise him. Please…”
“All you speak of is that child. You do not worry for yourself. Do you not realize you deserve severe punishment?”
“I do. I am prepared.”
“By rights, you should be executed for deceiving a royal prince.”
“…”
“However, in consideration of our past, I will grant you a way to live, Moon Hee-yul.”
Moon Hee-yul.
At that name, Hae-min froze.
“From this moment on, you are Moon Hee-yul.”
“…What?”
“And my intention to take you as my lawful spouse remains unchanged.”
Hae-min’s already tangled thoughts became even more confused.
Part of him felt relief. If he became the lawful spouse, Bok-deong would become a legitimate heir.
But…
“…Are you saying I must live as ‘Moon Hee-yul’ from now on?”
“Yes.”
“I have already concluded a deal with Lord Moon.”
“…With the lord…”
That, at least, did not surprise him. Lord Moon would have sold him for any price.
“My lord, I understand your words. But I am not Hee-yul, I am Haemin. To ask me to live as Hee-yul is like asking a dog to live as a cat. It is beyond my ability. Please, I beg you, reconsider.”
“You underestimate yourself. If anything, you are like a fox, skilled at disguise. You have managed thus far, have you not?”
“My lord, I-”
“Not ‘my lord.’”
Song Seol cut him off.
“From now on, you will call me ‘husband.’”
The voice was gentle, but to Hae-min it sounded anything but.
A cold shiver ran down his spine.
“…H-Husband.”
“Good.”
Song Seol nodded.
“You will stay here until the inner quarters are prepared.”
There was no room for refusal. As Hae-min fell silent, Song Seol turned and left.
The door shut firmly behind him.
This time, Hae-min did not try to open it.
“…”
He was alone again.
And he felt it more deeply than ever.
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