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Join the ServerThe suspicion that Prince Gwanghan had killed the child was, in the end, only speculation. Of course, Song Seol was convinced it was the truth and intended to uncover every detail, but he could not tell Hae-min at this stage.
If he spoke carelessly without clear evidence, it might only wound Hae-min further. He had no intention of hiding it forever, but at the very least, he needed proof before revealing it.
“You don’t know the reason? The child suddenly stopped breathing in the night. Is this what you called the prosperity and honor of the royal family? Even commoners would seek the cause if their child died!”
“…”
“Half of the blood in that child came from you! How can you be so heartless!”
These were words Hae-min had never dared to say before. He had chosen to raise the child alone, after all. He thought it wrong to now demand paternal affection from Song Seol.
“If you were going to take him, you should have at least raised him properly!”
Looking back, he realized he had been right all along. He should have raised the child himself. He should never have let Song Seol take him, should never have allowed him to be sent to Hanseong. Regret now changed nothing, and the realization rotted inside him.
“I am sorry, Hae-min. This is deeply my fault.”
“Apologize to Bok-deong. He was such a good child… Even in that cold weather, he endured walking all day without complaint.”
Hae-min’s voice trembled as he continued.
Only recently had it occurred to him, perhaps it was thanks to Bok-deong that he hadn’t realized he was pregnant until so late.
Even if he had known earlier, what could he have done? He would only have grown more anxious, perhaps even been discovered by Song Seol. Though he had been shocked at the time, in hindsight, it had been a strange kind of blessing.
And more than that, the child had never stirred in his womb. The reason Hae-min had been able to hide the pregnancy for ten months was not his own effort, but entirely because of Bok-deong.
“That good child… a child who deserved to be loved… how could he be taken so meaninglessly…?”
Hot tears surged up. No longer able to stand, Hae-min collapsed.
“Ah… ngh….”
At last, a sorrowful cry broke free. Unable to support himself, he wept, repeating apologies over and over.
At some point, Song Seol tried to help him up, but Hae-min could not rise. In truth, he did not even realize Song Seol was touching him.
There was only one person in his mind.
His pitiful child… Bok-deong.
****
“…”
When he opened his eyes, everything was dark.
Hae-min realized he had fainted from exhaustion after crying. It was no longer rare. Falling asleep in tears, collapsing from grief, it had become routine.
But this day was different.
Bok-deong was no longer anywhere, not in Songdo, not even in Hanseong.
“…Hng…”
A stifled sob escaped his clenched teeth. Even after regaining consciousness, all that awaited him was a miserable reality. One worse than any nightmare.
‘I’m sorry, Bok-deong.’
Hae-min no longer blamed Song Seol, not because he had forgiven him, but because he lacked the strength to. Instead, all his blame turned inward.
He was not fit to raise a child. Without the strength to protect him, how dare he claim he would?
It felt as though Bok-deong’s death was entirely his fault. The thought made it hard to even breathe.
“Hng… ah…”
His suppressed sobs grew louder. Hearing this, a maid carefully entered the room.
She had been assigned by Song Seol. Though he had wanted to stay by Hae-min’s side himself, he feared it would only worsen his condition.
“Young master.”
Remembering her orders, she spoke gently.
“You should drink some water.”
“…”
“If you keep crying like this, you will collapse. Please, just a sip…”
There was no reply, only the sound of heartbreaking sobs.
“Young Master Hee-yul, please drink some water.”
The title slipped out thoughtlessly.
Hee-yul.
Even in his dazed state, the name struck Hae-min sharply. He thought blankly:
‘Is this how I must live from now on?’
‘Having lost my child, and even my own name…’
“…Ha…”
Once, he had wished to be born into a warm family. When he realized that dream was impossible, he wished instead to meet a good partner, have a daughter and a son, and live peacefully.
But that too had been impossible.
Still, he had hoped to raise Bok-deong with all the love he had.
Now… nothing remained.
“Young Master Hee-yul…?”
His shattered mind crumbled completely. And yet, with practiced composure, he spoke:
“Leave the water. I will drink it myself.”
“But…”
“I have a request.”
“A request? Please, speak freely.”
“I would like to rest quietly… to compose myself.”
His voice trembled at the end, but it sounded calm enough. Relieved, the maid bowed.
“Yes. Then I will take my leave.”
She left, closing the door tightly behind her.
Hae-min looked at the water flask she had left behind. As expected, it was made of wood.
Only now did he understand why Song Seol had removed all porcelain and sharp objects.
“…”
He rose silently.
His eyes, now dry, were empty.
He scanned the room. Near the folding screen stood a small chest. Once, a white porcelain bottle had sat atop it, but it was gone.
Song Seol must have removed it.
With no other choice, Hae-min searched the chest. Only books. The cabinets were the same.
Nothing sharp remained.
Still, he continued searching.
Then, something caught his eye.
A celadon turtle-shaped paperweight.
Once, he had given it to Song Seol.
Now, it lay in his hand.
He turned it over slowly. Smooth, rounded, harmless in appearance.
But anything could become sharp when broken.
Like this.
Thunk.
He raised it high and slammed it against the edge of the chest. A dull crack sounded, and a fracture split across it.
He struck it again.
On the second blow, it broke in two.
Tapping the broken edge, he found it sharp enough.
It would do.
Even if it didn’t cut deep enough… he would simply cut again.
His trembling hand tightened around the shard.
Then he raised it, and brought it down on his wrist.
Once.
Twice.
Three times. Four. Five…
His hand no longer trembled.
It moved with cold certainty.
‘I’m sorry, Bok-deong.’
The road to the afterlife must be long and frightening. So he would go with him.
He had failed to protect him in life, but in death, he would.
‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.’
Blood flowed from his torn wrist, like crushed plant stems leaking sap.
It seemed enough.
His vision dimmed.
Hae-min finally loosened his grip. The bloodied shard fell to the floor.
And so did he.
Amid the scattered fragments of celadon, the light slowly faded from his pale eyes.
The adventure continues! If you loved this chapter, The Aloof Immortal Wife Pushes Me Away, The Yandere Girl Longs for Me to Stay is a must-read. Click here to start!
Read : The Aloof Immortal Wife Pushes Me Away, The Yandere Girl Longs for Me to Stay
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