Chapter 75: Desire Without Meaning

Having sunk all the way to the root, the penis that had paused for a moment squirmed and slowly began to withdraw.

The sensation was different from when it pushed in, and I shook my head slightly, biting my lip.

It felt as if the tightly clinging inner flesh would be dragged out along with Jun-jae’s huge shaft.

Repeating the motion of being driven deep to the innermost point and then pulling out to the most precarious edge, his cock gradually picked up speed and began to rub lengthwise against the inner wall near my belly.

In response, my hips twitched helplessly.

“Haaahn!”

When the hard glans pressed firmly into a spot deep inside my abdomen, a high moan burst out reflexively and my upper body jerked up.

As Jun-jae repeatedly rammed into the same spot, the pleasure spreading through my body made me tense all the way to my toes.

“Ah, ngh, ugh, ungh…!”

As the pace of thrusting grew faster, my inner walls, coated with lube, squelched noisily against his shaft, and the rough movement made the sheets beneath rustle constantly.

Above that, my ruined moans filled the air.

The sounds unmistakably those of intense s*x swirled around my ears, making me feel embarrassed while also stirring a strange excitement.

“Hngh, Seo— ah!

Seo Jun-jae, ugh!”

The next moment, Jun-jae’s arm wrapped around my waist and he began to ravage inside at an unprecedented speed.

Overwhelmed by the pleasure spreading through my whole body, my lifted legs merely flailed until I unconsciously grabbed and clung to the arm braced near my face, muttering his name.

Then suddenly, he stopped all movement.

“Hmm, Jae-seo.”

Even so, with his eyes curving into a warm smile, he touched my face tenderly, then lowered his lips to mine.

Our lips met and our tongues softly touched.

As he began moving his hips again, short breaths began mingling chaotically between our lips.

The heat that started deep inside, where friction was fierce, spread through my body, growing thicker, and gathered in my groin.

After ejaculating once earlier and not being touched since, my penis had grown stiff and erect.

The pleasure constantly concentrating in one spot made me feel like I would go crazy, so I subtly rubbed myself against his waist, pressed tight against him.

Noticing my movement, he immediately reached down, grabbed my erection, and began to stroke it.

“Mm… hngh!”

Even with our lips still locked, the stimulation from both inside and outside kept making moans escape.

As the overwhelming pleasure made me squirm, my body suddenly tensed, then a spurt of semen flowed down over my twitching belly.

Soon, as Jun-jae sat up, streaks of the same milky white fluid were left thick on his hips, flowing down; the sight was so embarrassing that I turned my head away.

Then, the cock that had been tightly filling me inside began to slowly withdraw.

My body, still sensitively heated, treated even that as stimulation, so the walls gripping part of his shaft kept contracting.

“…Ugh!”

Jun-jae bit his lower lip hard and pulled the rest of the way out.

He removed the condom, gripped and stroked himself, then soon scattered the evidence of his release onto my belly.

As I watched the mixture of our fluids flow together and trickle down past my waist, my vision suddenly started to swirl dizzily.

Fatigue from the act, along with the lingering effects of alcohol and sleepiness, crashed over me, and my body slumped heavily.

Then, darkness fell over my sight.

***

The next moment I came to, I was lying alone on Jun-jae’s bed.

Could it be that everything that happened had been a dream, and I was only now waking up after passing out drunk?

For a moment I entertained that vain hope, but the sensations lingering in my body were far too vivid.

Holding my aching waist, I slowly sat up.

The place below, where his fingers and penis had been plunging in and out, was also sore and burning.

“I was crazy, totally crazy…”

Looking back with a clear head, it really, literally, felt like I had lost my mind.

…I mean, from “Will you sleep with me?”

I kissed him first, casually caressed his chest and cock, let myself be pleasured, and even ended up begging him to put it in… I couldn’t understand my own actions at all—it was as if I had been possessed.

Maybe everything from the moment I mistakenly drank Seo-hu’s soju until just before waking up was all the game’s mischief.

Lost in thought, the door opened and Jun-jae came in.

The most recent memories made me feel too embarrassed to face him, so I subtly averted my eyes.

He seemed to catch on immediately and let out a low laugh as he came closer.

“How’s your body feeling?”

At his question, my gaze involuntarily went to the front of his pants right in front of me.

…How could I possibly be okay after something that big went inside me?

Even though I looked away after just a moment, he must have noticed, because he laughed and then crouched down in front of me, bringing his eyes level with mine.

“Is anywhere hurting?”

The look in his eyes was warmer than ever before, so I nodded while turning my gaze away.

Honestly, what had been merely a mission in the game for me carried that much meaning for him, and that was somehow burdensome.

“Do you want breakfast?

It’s more like lunch by the clock, though.”

Talking while eating seemed better than sitting on the bed like this, so I nodded, threw off the covers, and put my feet on the floor.

As I stood up, not only my waist and lower body, but my arms, legs, everything ached—there wasn’t a single spot that didn’t throb.

Dragging my leaden feet, I followed Jun-jae into the kitchen and sat down.

The pain from below made me frown involuntarily.

As I shifted around trying to find a comfortable position, Jun-jae set a bowl and utensils in front of me with practiced motions.

“Thank you, I’ll eat well.”

Unable to take my eyes off the table now laden with a full spread, I spoke.

He smiled, telling me to enjoy it.

The way he said it made me wonder if he’d cooked it himself.

Honestly, half worried and half hopeful, I picked up my spoon.

I scooped the doenjang soup in front of me and put it in my mouth.

Surprisingly, it was delicious.

The side dishes I tried afterwards were the same.

…Did he buy this?

Living alone at twenty, especially as an idol trainee, it’s hard to cook and eat this well, isn’t it?

Moreover, Jun-jae seemed completely unrelated to cooking, so even seeing the pot the soup came from, I couldn’t easily believe it.

“It’s good.”

“Really?

That’s a relief.”

The suspicion remained, but the food was genuinely tasty.

Seeing me reaching my chopsticks here and there, eating eagerly, he let out a small laugh and then abruptly asked what kind of food I liked best.

“I eat everything well.

Why?”

“Just… I want to make your favorite next time.”

At the answer that came back to my thoughtless question, my busy hands stopped.

Having done what we did just hours ago, having thoughts like this made me feel like absolute trash, but still, the way Jun-jae treated me had been making me deeply uncomfortable.

Carefully putting down my chopsticks, I raised my head and looked at him.

It was embarrassing and uncomfortable, but there was something I had to talk about.

“Seo Jun-jae, you know… about us…”

I definitely needed to say it, but I couldn’t figure out how to start.

The relationship between us had become so complicated and difficult because of what happened.

I slept with someone who said they liked me.

And without even answering the question of whether I liked them back.

That alone was already the worst situation.

Worse, we had to live together and promote as the same team for the next two and a half years.

“Don’t overthink it, Jae-seo.”

Jun-jae broke the lengthened silence while I was searching for words.

“I wish you would like me back.

That’s why I’m doing this.”

His sudden confession-like words left me speechless for a moment, but then I realized they were exactly the answer I had wanted most.

It meant he already knew that I didn’t have romantic feelings for him, and therefore that what happened hadn’t taken our relationship in that direction.

And, selfish as it was, I felt relieved.

Because his feelings could remain a personal matter, and we could go on as we had before.

Even more, honestly putting aside the game’s mischief, the kiss and s*x with him had all felt good.

So if it meant continuing like before, with just a little more kissing and s*x added, that didn’t seem so bad.

…Even if that really was a total trash way of thinking.