Chapter 41 Side Story 13: Memories and Desire in the Corner Room

When Ihan had told Hwaun to trust him regarding giving the innkeeper a generous sum if he was taking good care of Yeong, Hwaun hadn’t realized this was the plan. He didn’t know the exact amount in the pouch, but judging by its weight, it was clearly a fortune.

To the Emperor, it might be a small sum, but Hwaun felt uneasy that His Majesty was spending so much on his account. Ihan, who could read Hwaun’s thoughts just by the tone of his voice, met his eyes and spoke.

“This is the cost of reclaiming your past. Even ten million pieces of gold would not be enough.”

“But….”

“Furthermore, he is the one who looked after you when I was not there. He deserves this treatment and more, so do not trouble your heart.”

Only then did Hwaun truly understand the Emperor’s intention behind the excessive payment. Feeling a sudden, unbidden surge of tears, Hwaun looked straight ahead to compose himself and asked Samun, who had returned after giving orders.

“By the way… there was a waiter who helped me when I visited last time, but I do not see him…”

Samun, who had tucked the heavy money pouch deep into his sleeve with trembling hands, looked up at the question and suddenly wore a dazed expression. The face of the man speaking to him felt strangely familiar.

“…Is something the matter?”

When Samun hesitated to answer, Hwaun asked with a slight frown. His heart sank, fearing something might have happened to Yeong. Samun finally replied.

“Ah, forgive me. You looked familiar for a moment… since you said you’ve been here before, I suppose I vaguely remember seeing you then.”

“Ah…….”

“One of the waiters is out on an errand, you must be speaking of that lad. He should be back shortly….”

This time, Hwaun was the one who faltered. He had only claimed to have visited before to avoid suspicion; in his current appearance, he had never stepped foot here, so there was no reason for Samun to find his face familiar.

Assuming it was just an excuse to cover his own lapse in concentration, Hwaun nodded. He was relieved to know Yeong hadn’t left.

Will I be able to see his face before we return? Hwaun felt his heart beating faster as he sat with Ihan, waiting for the room to be cleaned.

“The room is ready. I will show you the way.”

Before long, Samun approached to lead them. It was a very short time for cleaning, but overwhelmed by the weight of the silver, Samun had apparently sent in two or three workers at once to finish as quickly as possible.

Ihan and Hwaun climbed the wooden stairs to the second floor. Every creak of the wood under their feet felt familiar, as if he had heard it just yesterday. The stains on the walls, the scent of old wood—it was wondrous that everything felt so vivid even in the body of Yeon Hwaun, which had not experienced those days.

“It is this room.”

Finally, they stood before the door that Hwaun didn’t actually need directions to find. Ihan spoke in a low voice to Samun, who stood with a slight bow.

“Ensure no one enters until we come out.”

“Yes, of course, Your—… Young Master.”

Samun complied with an attitude that suggested he no longer even cared to wonder why. He was not one to pry. His eyes briefly caught the sight of the two men’s firmly joined hands as they passed him.

He couldn’t fathom why a man who looked like a high-born noble would hold the hand of such a strikingly beautiful bodyguard and enter a storage room in a common inn. However, Samun quickly descended the stairs, feigning ignorance of both the question and the figures who had appeared like shadows to guard the hallway. All that mattered was the weight in his sleeve.

“So this is the place….”

Ihan trailed off, spinning around to take in the narrow room. Hwaun also looked around. There was more junk than when he lived there, suggesting it was no longer used as a bedroom, but the old bed and small table ‘Ha-un’ had used were still there. They were likely too broken to be used in the main inn rooms, so they had just been left here. The clean bedding on the bed—hurriedly changed for them—looked out of place against the rest of the room.

“You truly lived in a place like this…?”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Hwaun answered with the familiar title. He approached the table and traced the cracks and scars on its surface with his fingertips. Memories of sitting here late into the night, practicing the characters his teacher had taught him so he wouldn’t forget, came back clearly.

Ihan watched Hwaun’s expression as he swam through his memories, then looked back at the cramped space. He knew the people did not live in grand, spacious palaces like he did. He knew it wasn’t unusual for whole families to eat and sleep in a single room smaller than this. But the thought that his one and only lover had spent a long time in such a place made his mouth feel bitter and his heart sink.

Weren’t the winter nights cold? Wasn’t it scary? Wasn’t this tiny room suffocating? How did my person endure those days without me?

His mind clouded with such thoughts, Ihan slowly approached Hwaun from behind and pulled him into a full embrace.

“Your Majesty…?”

“On the day you said you saw me… did you fall asleep here as well?”

Hwaun’s shoulders trembled slightly at the question. The day he first saw him. The day he first laid eyes on the Emperor, who shone like the sun. His life, which had been devoid of expectation, dreams, or hope, had changed completely that day.

A joy bordering on sorrow from that day suddenly flooded back. Hwaun bit his lip, gripping the hands wrapped around his waist. Ihan whispered against his ear.

“Answer me. Sitting alone on this bed… did you think of me?”

Shuddering at the sudden heat of Ihan’s breath, Hwaun answered in a steady voice.

“Since the day I saw you… there has not been a single day I did not think of you….”

“…….”

“I did not know what that feeling was back then, but now I know. Had Your Majesty not opened a path for someone as lowly as me, I would have suffered from a terrible lovesickness for a very long time.”

Ihan’s heart began to pound against Hwaun’s back, though Hwaun didn’t notice, as his own heart was drumming so loudly in his ears. Memories that felt like a lifetime ago and memories that felt like yesterday tangled in his head. He once thought he would sell his soul just to see the Emperor’s face once—and now, he was in this room with that very Emperor.

A wave of tender affection consumed him. He wanted to see Ihan’s face, to cup his cheeks and feel that this was reality, not a dream.

However, the desire held by the Emperor embracing him was deeper and more explicit. The hands that had been around Hwaun’s waist slid down, and through the fabric of his clothes, Ihan suddenly gripped Hwaun’s groin.

“Yo—Your Majesty…!”

A startled Hwaun nearly screamed before clamping his hands over his own mouth. Sounds leaked easily here. His blood ran cold at the thought of someone hearing him call out ‘Your Majesty.’

But Ihan, the one responsible, seemed entirely unconcerned. He began to rub Hwaun’s center overtly and whispered:

“While thinking of me in this room… did you ever touch yourself here?”

Hwaun’s face went pale, and he shook his head frantically.

“H-how can you say such a thing? How could I dare… I, I never once had such a thought…!”

The Emperor’s question was so sacrilegious to Hwaun that he barely felt the stimulation of the hand on him. For a commoner to masturbate while imagining the Emperor—it was a crime that couldn’t be washed away even by being torn apart at a crossroads. Yet, the Emperor continued in a tone that sounded almost hurt.

“You said you loved me even then.”

“T-that is not the kind of… the kind of emotion Your Majesty is thinking of. I simply looked up to you with… r-reverence and respect….”

“Then you are saying you never once imagined me touching you like this?”