Chapter 55: Amnesia Side Story 9: The Only Irrefutable Truth

Feeling as though he were wandering through a maze with no exit, Ihan stared at Hwaun, who had approached and sat quietly by his side.

The robes Hwaun wore today were more formal than the warrior’s attire he’d seen before, but they were still exceptionally modest for a high-ranking consort. Ihan’s eyes kept drifting toward the clear, blue jade crown pinning Hwaun’s hair—as if he had always been fond of it.

He glanced at Hwaun’s waist; there was no sword. For some reason, he felt a flicker of disappointment. Did I like it when he wore a sword before? He found it irritating that he kept trying to recall such trivial details.

The private chamber of the Hall of Eternal Peace, from which even Eunuch Oh had been dismissed, was suffocatingly silent. Surprisingly, it was Hwaun who broke the silence first.

“Your Majesty, have you been eating well lately?”

Caught off guard by the unexpected question, Ihan hesitated. Hwaun added softly, “You have grown thin…”

At that moment, Ihan wanted to scoff. Whose fault do you think that is? The person responsible for his loss of appetite and restless nights was sitting right there, acting worried. It was absurd. Furthermore, Hwaun looked twice as frail as Ihan did—as if he might collapse at any second. Who was he to worry about anyone else?

And yet, the mockery wouldn’t come. Instead, he felt a secret sense of relief at the concern. Because Yeon Hwaun hadn’t changed—because he remained kind and warm despite the sudden coldness—Seong Ihan felt comforted against his own will.

“Yeon Hwaun.”

Ihan’s hand suddenly gripped Hwaun’s chin. The jaw in his palm felt so small and fragile that it seemed it might break if he applied any real strength.

Is this why I wanted to protect this man? Did I want to hide him in my embrace so no one could hurt him?

A feeling both foreign and hauntingly familiar swelled within Ihan.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Hwaun answered calmly. Even though the Emperor’s hand held his face in a threatening grip, he did not shrink back. Though the Emperor’s memories were stuck in a time of mutual hostility, Hwaun showed no fear of being harmed.

Sensing a strange certainty in Hwaun that must have originated from the “old” Ihan, the Emperor spoke. “How did you change my mind?”

“…….”

“Tell me. How did I come to favor you?” Ihan was desperate to know. Loving Yeon Hwaun should have been impossible, but even if he had fallen in love, proclaiming that favor to the entire world was a different matter entirely. What had happened? What had they endured that made Yeon Hwaun the sole exception to his lifelong convictions?

“I am asking what kind of wicked trick you used.”

Ihan expected Hwaun to be flustered, but he wasn’t. Hwaun simply met his gaze with a serene expression. “…I am sorry, Your Majesty, but I cannot tell you.”

“You cannot?”

“Even if I told you, you would not believe me in your current state.”

“Hmph. See? It must have been some sort of sorcery.”

At Ihan’s retort, Hwaun’s lips curled into a faint, nostalgic smile. The Emperor’s tone reminded him so much of the past—of the days when Ihan had struggled, unsure of what to do with his burgeoning feelings.

“It was indeed a miracle that is hard to believe.”

The trembling figure who had fallen to the floor on the first day of the amnesia was gone. Yeon Hwaun seemed to have grown up all at once. Indeed, Hwaun had matured. Aside from being a different soul than the “original” Yeon Hwaun, he now possessed a spirit tempered by the absolute affection Ihan had given him. That love allowed him to trust his partner even now.

Hwaun decided to be brave. Just as the Emperor had held his hand when he had retreated in fear, it was now his turn to hold the hand of the lost Ihan.

Hwaun slowly raised his hand and gently covered Ihan’s hand, which was still gripping his chin tightly. He lowered it and held the Emperor’s hand tenderly between his own.

“Your Majesty…”

He couldn’t explain in words what had happened or the trials they had overcome. Even Hwaun himself sometimes felt it was all a dream; a few sentences could never prove it.

“Even if I were to lose my memory… even if I forgot every moment I spent as your lover.”

The only thing he could state without hesitation was the depth of his own love.

“I would still end up loving you again. I would give everything I have just to be by your side.”

No matter how many times his name changed or his appearance shifted, for Hwaun, there was only one person: Seong Ihan.

“And I know you would not doubt for a second that I would fall in love with you again.”

Ihan felt choked by the overwhelming certainty Hwaun offered. He didn’t know what he had lost, but suddenly, the mystery of it felt agonizingly precious. He felt a wave of jealousy toward his “past self,” as if that version of him were a different person entirely.

“Even if your memory never returns… even then…”

“…….”

“You will eventually… cherish me again.”

The promise Ihan had made to him on a fearful night was still held firmly in Hwaun’s grasp. Because of that, he was no longer afraid of the present or the future.

“Then you… you are saying you will continue to wait for me, no matter how cruel I am to you?” Ihan asked after a long pause. His voice was trembling uncontrollably. Hwaun nodded, feeling the warmth of the Emperor’s hand, which had not yet pulled away.

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“What if I demote you back to Yeon-bin tomorrow?”

“It was never important to begin with, so it does not matter.”

To anyone in the palace, being stripped of the title of Noble Consort and demoted to a mere Bin overnight was a punishment worse than death. Yet Hwaun’s face remained perfectly peaceful. His heart, which cared for nothing as long as he could be near the Emperor, spoke clearly without a single word.

“What if… I never seek you out again?” Ihan added, as if testing the absolute limit of that devotion.

“…….”

Hwaun couldn’t answer immediately. He hadn’t blinked when threatened with the loss of power and status, but at the thought of never being seen by Ihan again, his composure crumbled, and he lowered his gaze. His hands, holding the Emperor’s, tightened. In a voice that couldn’t hide its tremor, Hwaun asked:

“…Will you truly… not see me again until your memory returns?”

“I—I…”

“Will you not… come to me again, Your Majesty?”

In that moment, Ihan realized something. If he walked out and shook off this hand now, he would finally leave a scar on Yeon Hwaun’s unwavering calm. The only way to truly hurt this man was to cut him off entirely—to make it so he could neither see nor hear the Emperor.

And yet. Even though he had no reason to protect Hwaun’s heart… he found he could not pull his hand away from those slender, desperate fingers.

“That is… not what I meant.”

“Ah…”

“I have not found my answer yet, so… I will come to see you.”

The excuse was a hollow attempt to hide his own confusion, but the only thing that mattered to Ihan in that moment was the look of pure relief and longing on Hwaun’s face.

“…….”

The Emperor glared at the man who had been kneeling silently before him for some time. It was strange to be summoned and then just stared at without a word, but the man—Seocheon—did not change his expression. He lacked any sense of “flexibility” or fear.

“Why do you think I called you?” the Emperor finally asked, his voice thick with dissatisfaction. If the Master of the World showed such discomfort, anyone else would have shriveled. But Seocheon remained calm.

“Whatever it is, please ask, Your Majesty.”

His voice was steady and unshakable. A man with no home or family certainly has a lot of nerve, Ihan thought. Usually, he respected Seocheon’s boldness, but today it grated on him.

“Who is your master?”

“I have only one master under heaven: Your Majesty, the Emperor.”

To ask such an obvious question meant there was a hidden motive, and Seocheon wasn’t dull enough to miss that, yet he didn’t flinch.

“Then you know that there must not be a single grain of falsehood in what you tell me.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

“Then I ask you. Why did I give you… such an undeserved position?”

“…….”

“Does it, perhaps… have something to do with Yeon Hwaun?”

For the first time, Seocheon, who had answered everything without hesitation, fell silent. Ihan felt a surge of triumph. He knew there was a connection.