Chapter 53: Amnesia Side Story 7: The Promise Beyond Memory

Hwaun gazed out the window at the landscape as the darkness slowly receded.

He had closed his eyes for a short while after tossing and turning, but sleep would not return. Fearing that even a small sound would bring the young servants running from their rest, Hwaun quietly cracked the window open and watched the passage of time.

As the clouds drifted across the night sky, countless memories drifted through his mind. Memories of loving and being loved unfolded endlessly, making him realize anew that the days he had shared with Ihan were far from few.

How could he forget me? Why was I the only one forgotten?

It wasn’t that Hwaun hadn’t thought of such things. In truth, they were the very questions he wanted to ask more than anyone.

Did he perhaps want to forget me? Did some unspoken worry or agony within him cause this? The anxiety he had hidden from everyone began to stifle him, thriving in the silence of Jeong-an Palace where the Emperor’s footsteps had ceased.

“I have become truly ungrateful…” Hwaun murmured self-deprecatingly.

He had entered the palace with the simple wish to be near the Emperor even if the man never knew him. He had already enjoyed a grace so overflowing it was more than he deserved. Yet here he was, terrified that Ihan’s heart might never return to him. A deep sense of self-loathing clouded his eyes.

“…….”

But there are feelings one simply cannot discard. Just as he was now living as Yeon Hwaun and no longer as Haun, it was only natural for him to dream a different dream than the one he had held before.

“Sigh…”

Supplying a heavy breath to push down his complicated emotions, Hwaun closed the window and climbed back into bed. He didn’t think he could sleep, but he couldn’t afford to catch a chill. He didn’t want to add more worry to the servants of Jeong-an Palace, whose concern was already mounting day by day.

‘Even so, do you think I would ever let you go?’

Suddenly, a memory surfaced in Hwaun’s mind. It was a conversation they had shared on the night they had gone out in disguise to visit the place where Haun used to live.

‘Sometimes, I feel as though I am deceiving Your Majesty.’

While grateful to have his impossible feelings returned like a miracle, Hwaun occasionally felt guilty. It was because the Emperor did not know the “Haun” of the past—the unremarkable, clumsy man he used to be. He feared that if Ihan knew his original, shabby self, he might be disappointed.

In response to those restless thoughts, Ihan had pulled Hwaun into a warm embrace.

‘I almost wish the heavens would turn you back into Haun.’

‘Pardon…?’

‘Then I could prove to you that, no matter the situation, I would have searched for you and cherished you until the very end.’

Hwaun had been horrified that the Son of Heaven would try to “prove” himself to a mere man, but Ihan hadn’t cared.

‘I am confident in everything. Even if you returned to being Haun, or even if you lost all memory of me, it wouldn’t matter. Even if I were to forget you—just you wait and see. I would eventually fall in love with you all over again.’

A faint smile touched Hwaun’s lips. His face looked like the dawn, light seeping through the shadows.

“Are you perhaps trying to prove the promise you made back then…?”

His voice was light, almost a joke. The thought that Ihan might be fulfilling that vow—to show that his heart would find Hwaun even without memory—made his burden feel a little lighter. Though he was still surrounded by uncertainty, he did not doubt that Ihan would eventually remember.

With that smile, Hwaun closed his eyes. Surprisingly, sleep finally came.

“I greet the Empress.”

“Rise.”

“What brings you here so early in the morning, Your Highness?”

At the Empress’s unexpected visit, Consort Suk (Bi-young) greeted her with a bright face. Empress Jaran looked over Bi-young’s complexion as she took her seat.

“I heard you were so unwell that you couldn’t serve His Majesty. How could I not come to see you?”

“Ah…” Bi-young blushed slightly and lowered her head. The Empress smiled gently as she picked up her teacup, her expression bordering on playful.

“You know the truth, yet you tease me, Your Highness.”

Jaran let out a light laugh at Bi-young’s candid response. Last night, when she received the report that Consort Suk was too “ill” to see the Emperor, she knew immediately. Bi-young wasn’t sick; she was helping the Emperor. She was preventing a situation that might hurt him later.

The Empress knew how difficult it was for a consort—a woman whose life’s goal was supposed to be competing for favor—to possess such a generous heart.

“Suk-bi,” the Empress said, her playful expression fading into a look of quiet gratitude.

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“I am always… grateful to you.”

Bi-young’s eyes widened in surprise, and she immediately knelt on the floor. “Your Highness, please withdraw such excessive words. For someone like me…”

Bi-young knew her position. Now that the Emperor’s uncompromising heart was fixed solely on Yeon Hwaun, she was, in a sense, a kite with a severed string. She had no imperial favor, no heir, and her family was not particularly powerful. Legally, Jaran was the Empress; personally, she was the Emperor’s true friend. Jaran could have treated her like dust, and Bi-young would have had to accept it.

To hear a word of thanks from such a person was unthinkable.

However, Jaran reached out, took Bi-young by the arm, and personally helped her up.

“If it weren’t for you, the Inner Court would not be as peaceful as it is now. Truly… I feel that having you by my side is like having a vast army.”

It was the absolute truth. The moment Hyeon Bi-young entered the palace and decided to follow the Empress’s lead without hesitation was the true start of the Inner Court’s tranquility. If Bi-young had been ambitious, if she had vied for authority or spent her days sabotaging other consorts, the harmony Jaran dreamed of would have been impossible.

“I mean it,” Jaran repeated. “I have received great help from you.”

Bi-young was silent for a moment, appearing deep in thought. Jaran waited patiently, savoring her tea. Finally, Bi-young spoke.

“Your Highness… if it weren’t for the grace you showed me, I wouldn’t have been able to endure life in this palace. I have merely been repaying what I owe you. To call it ‘help’ is far more than I deserve.”

Grace. The word made Jaran’s eyes grow deep.

“Even a lifetime wouldn’t be enough to repay what I’ve received from you. So please, do not say such things.”

The reason Bi-young didn’t compete for favor—the reason she turned the Emperor away last night—was partly out of loyalty to the Emperor and partly because Hwaun was her benefactor. But there was a reason that preceded even those.

Bi-young looked up at the Empress. Jaran looked as if she already knew everything in her heart. The shade created by the Empress, who stood like a great, ancient tree, still protected Bi-young. It was that safety that gave her the courage to turn the Emperor away.

The moment the Empress decided how to treat Yeon Hwaun, Bi-young’s own stance was solidified. She would follow the path Jaran desired. To the world, the Emperor was the supreme master, but in the deepest part of Hyeon Bi-young’s heart, her master was Empress Jaran. Jaran was the lamp she followed, the light that illuminated her path.

Bi-young slowly knelt before the Empress, who accepted her loyalty as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Your Highness… in the future as well, I will never do anything that you do not wish for. Nothing at all.”

A smile bloomed on Jaran’s face like a flower. The world within the palace they had cultivated together remained firm and unshakable.

“Highness, are you cold? Shall I add more charcoal?”

Seo-seo, who was carefully tending to the brazier to keep the fire from dying, asked Hwaun as he finished washing. It was early morning, before the sun had fully risen.

Judging by the worry on Ajin’s face as she combed Hwaun’s hair, the master of Jeong-an Palace had barely slept. However, Seo-seo purposely kept a bright expression to lift the mood.

“No, it’s warm and nice. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for that! It’s only my duty. I’ll go tell them to bring breakfast right away.”

Hwaun watched Seo-seo’s retreating back with a fond expression.