Chapter 62: Finding Meaning Amidst Chaos

On the way back, Su Xinxin kept her head down, her steps dragging slowly.

The path was the same as before—the fields, the billboards, the old crooked-neck tree. Yet, her mood as she observed them was starkly different.

On the way there, they had felt familiar and comforting, but now, only an emptiness remained.

Her heart felt heavy, as if something was lodged within, neither ascending nor descending. She longed to cry, yet no tears would come.

Xiao Ming poked its head out from the phone screen, casting a cautious glance at her before retracting it. After a long moment, it finally spoke.

“Are you still dwelling on those things? Still feeling sad?”

Su Xinxin did not respond immediately. She walked a few more steps before answering Xiao Ming in her thoughts.

‘I don’t know,’ she thought. ‘Everything feels so chaotic. I feel… I can’t find meaning in the present.’

As she spoke, she lowered her head again, gazing at the path beneath her feet—the pebbles, the dirt, the withered grass by the roadside.

She wasn’t sure why she was looking at them; she simply didn’t want to look up.

What would she see if she did? The changed roads, the enduring trees, the places she longed to return to but couldn’t.

Xiao Ming fell silent for a moment as well.

“Master, you must understand—you are not alone.”

Su Xinxin paused, her steps slowing by half a beat. Then, a bitter smile touched her lips.

“What? I’m not human?” She hesitated, her voice dropping, tinged with a hint of self-deprecation. “Perhaps. Perhaps not.”

Alarmed, Xiao Ming sprang out from the screen, squatting on her shoulder. Its two front paws gesticulated wildly, its rabbit ears twitching.

“I didn’t mean you’re not a ‘person’, but rather, not ‘alone’! I mean—you’re not by yourself! Don’t you still have your aunt now? Even if you’re not yet familiar with your newly recognized aunt, don’t you still have Jasmin? Your best friend Lin Mo! You can talk to her about some of your troubles.”

Su Xinxin’s steps slowed once more. As she walked, gazing at the road stretching ahead, she suddenly felt something stir within her heart.

Indeed. She was no longer alone. She wasn’t the person lying on a hospital bed, staring out the window, waiting for time to slowly pass.

She had a new identity, new people, a new—she wasn’t sure if it counted as “home,” but at least, there were still people waiting for her return.

She lowered her head, looking at her phone screen, her finger hovering above it in hesitation. Then, she tapped open Lin Mo’s chat box and began typing.

Halfway through typing, however, she suddenly heard the roar of an engine approaching rapidly from behind. Instinctively, she moved closer to the roadside. The car seemed to graze past her, but thankfully, she wasn’t scraped.

Su Xinxin froze, standing rooted to the spot, clutching her phone. Her heart pounded audibly. It had been truly close. Just a tiny bit more, and she… would have been a goner?

Alas! These young people, with their bad habit of walking and playing on their phones, it’s truly not acceptable!

She shook her head, finally regaining her composure, and at that moment, her stomach rumbled with hunger.

‘Perhaps I should find a place to eat while looking at my phone?’

No, that habit isn’t good either! ‘I’ll finish replying to messages, then eat!’

She walked a little further, surveying her surroundings. Both sides of the road were lined with construction material markets, bricks and rebar piled everywhere. How had she ended up here?

She looked up—across the road was a fast-food restaurant. A sign at the entrance read: “Self-Service Fast Food, Weighed and Charged.”

The shop wasn’t large, with faded advertisements pasted on its glass door. Inside, several rows of stainless steel trays were displayed, steam rising from behind them, blurring the glass.

She hesitated for a moment before stepping inside.

The innermost row of tables was occupied by a group of people, dressed in dust-covered work clothes, their hard hats resting on nearby stools, shoveling food into their mouths. They appeared to be workers from a nearby construction site.

Su Xinxin chose a window seat, set down her bag, and then went to pick up some dishes.

Upon weighing, it amounted to over twenty yuan… So expensive!

‘Never mind,’ she thought. ‘After all, some of it is for Xiao Ming to eat… Hmm, it will eat secretly, so others will only see me eating alone.’

Before eating, she overheard others discussing their children, which sounded rather vexing.

Su Xinxin naturally recalled her own days back then, which had been simple and steady, unlike now, with too many things to ponder daily, so many that she sometimes felt suffocated.

She casually picked up a piece of meat, put it in her mouth, then paused with her chopsticks. Taking out her phone, she continued messaging Lin Mo.

[Just now, I encountered a few ‘Corroders’. Di Ting said there were three in corporeal form.]

Her message was sent, and a reply came quickly. Lin Mo seemed to be holding her phone.

[Three in corporeal form? So many? You weren’t hurt, were you?]

Su Xinxin looked at the screen, a warmth spreading in her heart.

[No injuries. But I felt very strange. Just as those ‘Corroders’ were about to attack me again, they seemed to freeze, and then they all fled.]

[Fled? What happened?]

Su Xinxin thought for a moment, her finger hovering over the screen before slowly typing.

[A young woman in a pink dress walked by, and then the ‘Corroders’ ran away. I’m not sure if it was related to her. Oh, I should say the ‘Corroders’ ran first, and then I saw her.]

[Pink dress? Is she one of us?]

Su Xinxin pondered. She didn’t know how to explain; she hadn’t sensed anything, in any case.

[I don’t know. She didn’t say. Her hair was normal black…]

After sending it, she hesitated, then added another sentence.

[And I don’t know her.]

Lin Mo was silent for a while.

[Perhaps she’s some ‘true master who conceals their abilities’ type of magical girl. Some intentionally hide themselves, and some are just a bit odd.]

Su Xinxin stared at that line of text for a long time, only able to silently agree. At least she hadn’t been harmed, and the person had even helped her check on her old partner.

However, she still kept the information about her old partner and the grave hidden from Lin Mo, fearing it would be even harder to explain otherwise.

[Maybe.] She thought for a moment, then replied with just that, not pursuing the topic further.

Lin Mo probably sensed her reluctance to elaborate and didn’t press further, instead offering comfort.

[Anyway, it’s good that you’re safe! This is what they call ‘fortune favors the virtuous’. As the saying goes, ‘fortune and misfortune are intertwined’. Since you encountered misfortune this time, good luck will surely follow! When I get back from my trip, I’ll protect you too!]

Su Xinxin smiled, looking at that last sentence.

After replying with a “Mm-hmm” nodding emoji, she put down her phone.

She picked up her chopsticks again and began to eat. She first picked up a piece of the now-cold braised pork, put it in her mouth, and chewed for a long time.

She remembered the way that person had placed the flowers before the tombstone. The bending motion was so light, as if fearing to disturb anything. Who exactly was she?

On the way back, Su Xinxin no longer pondered so much, but she didn’t keep her head down as before. She would look up at the twilight sky, at the distant fireworks.

After all, she didn’t know when she would be back next.

Xiao Ming poked its head out from the screen, glanced at her, and then retracted it.

After walking a bit further, she finally reached the subway station. On the platform, some people were waiting for the train, some had just disembarked, and others were heading towards the exit with their bags.

She stood on the platform, waiting for the next train.

Just then, her phone vibrated.

She looked down. It was a photo from Lin Mo. The picture showed a dazzling blue sea, with what appeared to be white specks of sailboats in the distance.

[Look at the sea here! Isn’t it beautiful! Maybe looking at it will make you feel better!]

Su Xinxin stared at the sea for a long time.

[Good, I’m happy now~]

Then, she replied with a smile.

The train entered the station. She put away her phone and stepped into the carriage. The doors closed, and the light outside the window changed from bright to dim, then from dim back to bright.

She leaned her head against the train window, watching the fields and buildings flash by. The lingering glow of the sunset still hung in the sky, an orange-red hue that softened everything.

It seemed quite nice, after all, to watch the scenery outside from this elevated subway line.

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