Chapter 4: The One Who Came to Pick Me Up

I really couldn’t remember.

Seeing Seungwoo look at me with an unusually serious expression, it felt like I might vaguely recall it.

I stopped moving my spoon and tried to think.

Did I ever let Seungwoo hear my guide recording?

When was it?

While drinking?

During a break?

Did he say something like that when we ran into each other at the gym?

No matter how hard I tried to recall it, the praise only felt like a fabricated excuse.

Compliments that I wasn’t even sure truly existed.

Memories like that.

As I opened the newly brought soju bottle along with fresh side dishes, I continued slowly,

“I don’t remember.
I’m sure there was something good.
If someone tells me, I go, ‘Oh right, that,’ and then I remember.
But if no one says anything, I don’t know.
Why is that?”

As I spoke, I felt like I might recognize the song Seungwoo mentioned, so I hummed quietly and tapped my glass.

Why?

Why do I not know anything?

It felt like my head had been completely washed clean.

As I lifted my hand to drink again, I suddenly felt someone grab my wrist.

Seungwoo had turned completely serious.

“Jaeha.”

“I’m not drunk yet.”

“Take a break.”

“I’ll rest all I want once I retire.”

“That’s not what I mean.
I mean right now.
You need to rest.
You’re not in a good state these days.
You can’t even remember things properly.
That’s a warning sign.”

“How am I supposed to rest?
The schedule’s already set.”

“You’ve been dragged around like this for nine years straight.
You were doing events until the day before you enlisted.
Then after you got out, they prepped you like you were in some kind of incubator and sent you right back out again.
Have you ever properly rested?”

“I met people.
I rested well.”

“So what if you met people?
All they do is dump their problems on you.
Yoonjin too.
If things don’t go her way, she makes you sit there all night listening to her complain.
I don’t even understand how she has the nerve to crawl back to you and do that.
Anyway.
How is it that you end up listening to every PD and writer in the broadcasting industry talk about their problems?
And when stylists quit, you even know where they opened their clothing shops.
Is there anyone else like you?”

The fingers gripping my wrist were firm.

But my will to drink was just as firm, so I pried his fingers off one by one.

Before downing the drink, I said,

“And you?
Haven’t you dumped your problems on me too?”

“Ah, damn.
That’s not the point.
You need to filter what you listen to.”

“You told me all about your contract terms, trashed your members, and how many times did you rant to me about that variety show you went on?
You complained about the PD, the writers, the production company—pretty much everyone.”

“Ugh.
Hey.
You’re the same.
When someone does that, cut them off and say what you want.”

“Wow.
Now that’s my fault too?”

“Yes!
At least vent a little!
And when Yoonjin calls, ignore her and don’t go, you idiot.”

“How can I?
When she gets worked up alone, she ends up collapsing from stress and freaking out.”

“Who cares if she does.”

“I hate that.
People here say things like ‘just die if you want,’ and it’s scary, isn’t it?”

“At this rate, you’ll be the one collapsing.”

“I don’t know.
I really don’t know.
Just drink.”

At my suggestion, he sighed deeply but ended up drinking with me anyway.

Like I said, he was the best person to sit down and drink with.

And so we drank.

Seriously, right up to the brink.

We had started drinking early, but by the time we left, it was almost midnight.

Even in my drunken state, I had just enough sense left to call my manager.

Though judging by his raised voice, my slurred tone gave me away immediately.

– Jaeha, how much did you drink?
Where are you?

“I’m here.
With Seungwoo.
Apgujeong.”

– Should I come pick you up now?

“Why?
Where are you?”

– I’m out in Gyeonggi right now.
Wait a bit.
I’ll tell the company to send someone else.

“Okay.”

– Text me the name of the place.
And don’t you dare get behind the wheel.
Got it?

“I know.
I know.”

– Someone who needs to manage his condition drinking this much—

More nagging I didn’t want to hear.

I held the phone away and pretended it was an accident as I pressed the end call button, chuckling to myself.

Seungwoo, who had been slumped over the table, got up and staggered outside.

Sitting still felt suffocating, so I followed him out and stood beside him.

The air was a bit cold.

He kept glancing around, so I grabbed him just in case.

“Don’t drive.
Someone’s coming, right?”

“Yeah.
My manager.
What about you?”

“The company’s sending someone.”

“When my manager gets here, just take my car.”

“No need.
We’re going in different directions.”

Not just different—completely opposite sides.

Even across the river, it was still far apart.

Feeling dizzy from the alcohol, I leaned against the wall when suddenly Seungwoo pulled me into a hug.

What now?

Holding onto someone bigger than me was exhausting, so I lightly smacked his cheek.

“You drunk?
Let go.”

“Our Jaeha.
Huh?
You should’ve come when I told you not to renew your contract.
You never listen to your hyung.”

“I don’t have a hyung.”

“Just trust your hyung.”

“I said I don’t have one.”

“You brat.
Why are you worrying about making a living?
I’ll take care of you.”

“Excuse me.
I said I don’t have one.”

I couldn’t listen to this anymore.

As I tried to push him away, he spread his arms wide to hug me again.

Thinking I might as well just get it over with, I let him.

But the angle of his face rubbing against my neck was annoying.

And then, his lips brushed against my cheek.

“Ugh, disgusting, you bastard!
Get off!”

“Seriously.
You complain even when I treat you well, Seo Jaeha.”

He was the type to hug anyone when drunk, but today he was especially bad.

I practically threw him aside and got into the car.

As soon as the door closed, the inside of the car fell silent.

Jungwon was sitting there, staring at me.

Even his gaze was calm.

Then it hit me.

“Ah.”

“……”

“Seatbelt.
Put it on.
I mean—I will.”

After fumbling a few times, Jungwon leaned toward me.

Startled, I shrank back into the seat.

His long arm reached across me and fastened the seatbelt.

Up close, his profile looked slightly blurred.

I knew I should say something about him coming to pick me up, but I was so sleepy.

So sleepy that my words started slurring as I looked at him driving smoothly.

“You must be tired too…
Who made you do this…
Thanks, but… aren’t you busy?
Should I just take a taxi?
Who sent you?
Huh?”

“Go to sleep.
I’ll take you.”

“Who made our maknae do this?
Huh?
These guys making you do stuff like this just because you’re the youngest?”

At that, Jungwon glanced at me while turning the wheel and smiled slightly for the first time.

“You’re the only one who thinks that, hyung, so don’t worry.”

I kept mumbling nonsense until sleep overtook me.

As I closed my heavy, blurry eyes, my last thought was—

‘It’s kind of embarrassing to be riding in the car of someone who confessed to me just a few hours ago.’

The next moment I opened my eyes, we were in front of my place.

The car was neatly parked.

Rubbing my stiff neck, I looked around.

As Jungwon pulled out the keys, he asked,

“Can you walk?”

“Yeah.
You go ahead.
I’ll go up.”

“Let’s go together.”

If I had managed to unbuckle my seatbelt properly, he might have just left, but since I failed even that, we ended up getting out together.

The elevator was all the way at the top floor for some reason at this hour.

As we stood waiting after pressing the button, the silence lingered.

But I couldn’t let it pass.

“Jungwon.”

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“Not really.”

The strength in the arm supporting me made that answer believable.

Still out of it, I asked again,

“You must be tired…
Did someone force you to come…”

“I told you, you’re the only one who thinks that.”

“Yeah?
Then that’s good.”

“What’s good about it?”

“And something I’m curious about.”

“What is it?”

“I thought maybe you had something to say.”

“……”

This time, there was no immediate reply.

Struggling to keep my heavy head upright, I looked at him, and he was staring at me.

“Do you have something bothering you?”

“Why are you suddenly asking that?”

“Maybe you had something on your mind.
That’s why you came.
Like before.
I used to listen to everything when you were younger.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Everyone tells me everything.
But you don’t.”

“Would you like it if I did?”