Chapter 12: The Distance Between Us

By the time I woke up, there were only a few people left in the practice room.

Staff members were busy cleaning up, collecting empty water bottles, and wrapping things up.

The manager hyung opened the door again, poked his head in, and shouted at me, sprawled out on the floor.

“Jaehyuk, want me to drop you off?”

“No. I’ll go on my own. You should head in.”

“Alright. Don’t wander off somewhere else.”

“Yesss.”

“Jungwon, what about you? Want a ride?”

“I’m good.”

I thought all the members had already left, but apparently not.

When I turned my head, Jungwon was sitting on one of the chairs lined up against the wall.

He had just opened a bottle of water, took a drink, then shook his head once as he refused.

The manager hyung hesitated, tried to insist one more time, then eventually gave up and left.

He was probably exhausted himself.

I’d heard he sometimes slept in the duty room instead of going home.

His kid had just started kindergarten and would run around the living room on weekends, waking him up—he used to complain about it all the time.

Sometimes he even said the duty room was more comfortable.

Back when we debuted, his current wife was still just his girlfriend.

Time really does fly.

And honestly, I felt like I’d rather hole up in the duty room and sleep too.

Instead, I moved closer to the wall.

Then I plopped down right in front of Jungwon’s feet.

Wearing a black sweatshirt with a towel draped around his neck, his face still damp, he looked like a scene straight out of a youth drama.

His eyes widened slightly as he looked down at me.

Without saying anything else, I grabbed my knee and pressed on it a few times.

“Does it hurt?”

“Do you feel very sorry?”

“Of course I do.”

“It’s not my left knee.”

Oh.

I let go of the left knee I had been pressing over his training pants and switched to the right one.

His previously still knee shifted slightly as he chuckled.

The bone structure under my hand felt thicker than I expected.

“It’s not bruised, right?”

“It’s fine.”

“If it hurts, I’ll take you home.”

“……”

“Does it hurt? Tell me.”

“Yeah… a little.”

His brows furrowed slightly as he said that.

The unexpected expression made him seem cute—but at the same time, it startled me.

This body of his—do you even know how much it’s worth?

“Does it hurt? Did you put a patch on it?”

“I’ll do it when I get home.”

“Let’s go. Get up.”

Ugh, I’m stiff.

I stretched widely as I got up and checked the time.

2 a.m.

I was tired, but not to the point of dying.

Still, I should take him home first.

He said it hurts because of me—there’s no way I can just ignore that.

Jungwon crushed the empty water bottle in one hand and stood up.

We were the last ones to leave the practice room, turning off the lights behind us.

When we came out through the back door to head toward the parking lot behind the building, I noticed a few women lingering behind the pillars, peeking around.

They weren’t young enough to be called “girls” or “students.”

Just like we’d aged in the industry, the sasaeng fans who followed us had naturally gotten older too.

The era of obsessive fans constantly sticking to us had passed—now it was mostly people who just took a few photos.

Or those who gathered in groups, hovered around our schedules, then went off to their own after-parties.

The time when core fans clung to every word and action, twisting everything into misunderstandings, was over.

If popularity fades and you don’t get absorbed into the public, you just get forgotten.

It was a natural process.

Still… maybe it was a relief.

There was a time when even the sight of lurking shadows made me want to throw up.

Those swarming shadows gradually disappeared as our popularity declined, and after I came back from the military, they were completely gone.

Now that we were about to promote again, they had started to reappear, little by little.

I felt grateful—and sorry.

Back when I was sick of them, I wanted them gone.

Now that they’re here again, I feel relieved.

That pathetic contradiction made me hate myself.

And among them were familiar faces, which only made my chest feel heavier.

So I deliberately ignored them and walked past, focusing on the car.

What should I do about the car?

It’d be better to leave mine here.

I’ll drive Jungwon’s car to his place, then take a taxi home.

I don’t have any schedules tomorrow anyway—I’ll probably just drag myself back to the practice room after sleeping.

Leaving it here for a day should be fine.

I held out my hand toward Jungwon behind me.

“Car key.”

He pulled his hand out of his jacket pocket and tossed me the key.

I barely caught it mid-air.

As I walked to the driver’s seat and reached for the door, the girls standing behind the car hesitated and stepped back.

I looked at them with a face that was undoubtedly coated in exhaustion.

Too tired to smile, too tired even to fake being angry.

Most of them were Jungwon’s fans anyway—whatever I said wouldn’t matter.

Still… it’s the middle of the night.

What are they even doing here at this hour?

Just to see a face once.

I deliberately hardened my already bad expression and said one thing.

“You should go home too.”

“The buses stopped running.”

“Then what are you going to do?”

“We’ll just drink nearby or go to a 24-hour café, then leave when the morning buses start.”

“Then go home earlier next time.”

“We have to see your face before we go.”

“The more you do that, the less Jungwon will come out.”

Of course, I knew it wouldn’t work.

And Jungwon, who knew that just as well, lightly tapped my shoulder from behind before walking to the passenger seat.

Maybe we looked closer than they expected, because the girls started exchanging glances among themselves.

Their whispers weren’t clear, but I could guess.

Yeah… I shouldn’t have said anything.

Even if I talk, they won’t listen.

They’ll probably just spread rumors like, “If you wait around the practice room, someone will talk to you.”

Still, seeing them crouched in a corner of the parking lot like that… I couldn’t just say nothing.

As I was about to get into the driver’s seat, a short-haired woman who had been standing a step behind suddenly spoke.

I recognized her face.

I’d seen her at fan sign events before, and she had waited like this many times.

“We didn’t come just to see Jungwon oppa.”

Then who did you come for?

If it’s me… that just makes me feel even more sorry.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, frowned, then decided not to say anything.

But she kept talking.

“Jaehyuk oppa, what’s going on today?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve ignored us for years. Before that, you used to get really annoyed too.”

“……”

It’s the last time anyway.

Wouldn’t it be nice to just treat them well and end things with good memories?

I forced those rising thoughts back down and got into the driver’s seat.

Ever since I told Jungwon I was retiring, I hadn’t been saying it out loud carelessly.

Who knows what might happen.

Even Seungwoo just joked about when I’d come work as a housekeeper at his place.

I started the car.

The headlights lit up the front, and the girls slowly stepped back, clearing the way.

Seriously… what are they doing in an underground parking lot at this hour?

I almost said more, but reminded myself—ignoring them, like Jungwon does, is the best option.

Leaving is the fastest way to send them home.

Yeah. Let’s just go.

I carefully drove out of the parking lot.

Once out, the car sped down the empty early-morning roads.

Forcing my sleepy eyes open, I gripped the steering wheel with both hands and headed toward Jungwon’s place.

After watching me drive for a bit, Jungwon asked,

“Hyung, do you know where my place is?”

“Of course.”

I took the right road to merge onto the riverside highway.

Normally I’d turn on the radio, but even lifting a finger felt too tiring.

Only the quiet hum of the road filled the car.

Maybe because it was a good car, the engine noise blended smoothly into the background.

In that calm soundscape, Jungwon spoke.

“If you’re tired, I can drive.”

“No. Just get some sleep.”

“I’m not sleepy.”

Right then, I had to glance right to check the side mirror.

Jungwon was leaning back in the passenger seat, looking at me.

His face looked slightly worn from exhaustion.

The white streetlights flickered past, casting alternating shadows and light across his face.

One eye at a time would come into view—both fixed on me.

Not sleepy, my ass.

That unwavering gaze of his always pulled me somewhere higher than where I belonged.

I pretended not to notice and turned the wheel.

You must be tired. Just sleep.

The car only stopped at a couple of signals before arriving at Jungwon’s solo apartment.

Compared to my place—which required a long drive along the riverside and across the Han River even at this hour—it was ridiculously close.

The tall apartment complex only opened its gates after checking the car number at the stone-arched entrance.

I slowly drove through the complex.

Decorative stones filled the gardens, and soft lights were embedded everywhere.

Even the building exteriors glowed faintly.

Muttering under my breath so Jungwon wouldn’t hear, I grumbled.

Of course, when assigning housing, it makes sense to match what each person earns.

It does… but still.

I didn’t think the difference would be this big.

And before I knew it, the words slipped out.

“This is seriously unfair.”

“Why?”

“…Nothing. Just talking to myself.”

Sometimes we go around without the manager, but Jungwon even had the team lead and road manager assigned to him at times, right?

No—don’t compare.

For my own sake.

Because the moment I start comparing how much each person brings in…

I really will not have anything left to say.