Chapter 5: A Promise Made in the Dark

“Since some point, you stopped telling me… so I thought, ‘Ah, Jungwon must be hanging out with other friends now.’”

“Why would you think that?”

At that moment, the elevator doors opened.

With a ding, the doors slid apart, and I was practically dragged inside.

Fourth floor.

After pressing the button, Jungwon steadied my swaying body and spoke.

“I don’t like that anymore.”

“You don’t want to talk? Wow, you’ve grown up.”

“Instead, I wanted to hear.”

“What?”

“What you have to say.”

“My words?”

“What you think. What you like. What you dislike. Anything. Not other people’s thoughts—your own.”

“……”

“I kept wondering when you’d finally tell me. But you never did.”

“And yet you thought I’d just found other friends.”

“……”

“That’s honestly hilarious.”

As he said that, the elevator doors, which had remained open like background scenery, slowly closed.

Jungwon let out a small laugh.

Even in my dazed state, I heard it.

Whether it was a hollow chuckle or a scoff, I couldn’t tell—but it felt cold.

As I, who had been talking nonstop, suddenly went quiet, Jungwon seemed to turn to check if I had finally fallen asleep.

His dark eyes examined my silent expression.

The look on my face—one that had forgotten what to say.

My gaze.

My head spun.

Anyway… ah.

This wasn’t good.

Hearing something like that in this half-lucid, half-drunken state—

Jungwon slowly lowered his head and moved closer to me.

Startled, I widened my eyes and looked around awkwardly, trying to avert my gaze to the floor.

But in such a cramped space, there was nowhere to look.

As I stepped back, my back hit the elevator wall.

Jungwon moved closer.

My white sneakers overlapped with his dress shoes before separating again.

Just before my head drooped from the alcohol, I realized I had leaned into his chest—so I jerked my head up.

Our faces were too close.

“Jungwon. Move.”

“No.”

“Why.”

“Your expression right now…”

“Me? What about me?”

“It feels like if not now, then never. Look at me.”

There was no need to say that—I had no choice.

He was too close not to see.

The real problem was that his face, this close, was absurdly handsome.

I barely avoided brushing noses, but even just looking straight ahead felt like our lips would touch.

Avoiding his gaze was impossible.

His pupils—deep and pitch black—shimmered as they stared at me.

As if there was no one else but me.

That blind, consuming gaze—combined with that wrong, dangerous expression—made my wavering self-control crumble again.

When our lips barely brushed, the last thing I tried to say was—

“Fourth floor.”

“We’re not there yet.”

“We are.”

“You’re drunk. You’re mistaken.”

Jungwon lied so easily despite standing right in front of the door.

And even as I watched the already-open doors close again, I accepted his lips.

Even then, my chest trembled uncontrollably.

I knew this wasn’t something to do while drunk.

I knew it wasn’t something to do in this state.

And yet, strangely, I couldn’t avoid it.

The moment I felt the warmth of his tongue, I startled and pressed myself against the wall.

Though it was a weak reaction, Jungwon slightly opened his previously half-lidded eyes.

He noticed my gaze drifting behind him.

“Jungwon. I… home…”

“……”

I couldn’t hear clearly, but his lips seemed to form something harsh.

I wasn’t sure.

My vision was too blurred from drowsiness.

Anyway, I did see his hand rake through his hair in irritation before he started pressing the elevator buttons behind him repeatedly.

8th floor. 10th floor. 15th floor.

Each press echoed as the elevator began moving smoothly.

Feeling the slight pressure of motion, we kissed again.

And then—

My memory cuts off at the moment the elevator, after going to who-knows-how-many floors, was descending past the sixth.

And when I opened my eyes—

It was now.

This moment.

In my apartment.

On my bed.

Thirst clawed at my throat as I groaned, trying to piece together how I even got home last night.

Then the memory hit me—

And I jolted upright in shock.

At first, I thought it was a dream.

But if it was a dream, then why the hell would I dream something like that?

Unable to process it, I slapped my cheeks a few times before staring blankly at the crumpled blanket near my feet.

From the bathroom outside, I could hear the faint sound of running water.

I was too scared to even check.

What if Jungwon was really there?

Or worse—what if it was someone else?

No, that would be worse.

Actually… would it?

No. Both are bad.

Get out. Get out of my house.

No—get out of my memory.

Please.

This is all my fault.

Manager hyung was right.

I’ll never drink again.

So please—!

The sound of water stopped.

Soon after, footsteps followed.

They came straight to my room.

And then—

A head suddenly poked in.

Jungwon.

His hair was still wet, droplets falling as he shook it out.

He was only wearing pants—his upper body completely bare.

I instinctively felt around my own chest.

I was sure nothing had happened…

But seeing him like that first thing in the morning made fear crawl up my spine.

Now I was actually terrified.

Unable to speak properly, I just made strange choking noises.

After scanning my pathetic state, he asked calmly—

“Are you thirsty?”

“Uh… yeah…”

My voice came out cracked and torn.

Turning his broad back, Jungwon walked out to the kitchen.

I heard cabinets being opened with alarming force.

While he rummaged around, I fumbled with the curtains and pulled them aside.

Looking outside—

f*ck.

Fourth floor wasn’t high enough.

Too low to die properly if I jumped.

Perfectly useless height.

Of course nothing in my life works out.

The noise finally stopped.

Jungwon returned, still shirtless, water dripping from his hair.

He must’ve checked the utility room—he handed me a small bottle of water.

Our fingers brushed slightly as I took it.

I tried not to react, but I hiccupped.

I steadied my breathing as I opened the bottle.

But just as I was about to drink—

Jungwon sat down heavily on the edge of my bed.

My breath hitched again.

The quiet in the room made every small sound echo.

I barely managed a sip before lowering the bottle.

Jungwon didn’t care about my reaction.

He simply stared at me.

His gaze felt almost threatening.

Even his muscles looked intimidating.

I took another sip.

He’s been working out even harder, huh.

I adjusted my clothes again.

What was I supposed to say here?

I knew I should handle last night like an adult.

But nothing came to mind.

Out of nine years in the industry, had I ever learned how to deal with this?

Absolutely not.

I’ve messed up plenty before—but never like this.

Even after concerts, I was always careful not to cross lines.

Even when drinking with friends, I never let things get out of hand.

Well… I do get sleepy when I drink.

Still—

I’m the older one.

As the elder, I should act like one.

Jungwon must be shaken too, so I should calm him down and send him off—

“Hyung.”

“Uh. Ahem. Yeah.”

“You’ll take responsibility, right?”

“What?! Did we do something?!”

No. No way.

What the hell happened?

Panicking, I dropped the bottle and yanked at my shirt collar to look inside.

My chest looked fine.

Nothing there.

Right?

Then why—

Did nothing leave marks?

Was that it?

Unaware of my racing heart, Jungwon set the bottle upright.

Then he tapped his lips with his finger.

His face looked almost refreshed in the morning light.

“We kissed.”

“Hey! Damn it, you scared me.”

“Do you remember how many times?”

“…No, I just—barely remember brushing lips…”

“So you do remember.”

I wanted to deny it completely, but saying I remembered nothing felt too much like being an asshole.

Maybe he read something in my desperate expression—

Jungwon smiled faintly.

“You’ll take responsibility, right, hyung?”

“Well… that’s… I don’t think it’s something that requires responsibility…”

“I believe you’re not that kind of bastard.”

“……”

“The kind who just rubs lips however he wants and then pretends nothing happened.”

His bright expression contrasted sharply with the curses laced into every sentence.

“I really don’t remember…”

“And you’re definitely not the trash who claims he doesn’t remember.”

“I really don’t remember. I mean it…”

My memory wasn’t completely gone—but it was fragmented.

The elevator… even that part was blurry.

I was already staggering.

I don’t even know why I went along with it.

And after getting home—

That part was completely wiped out.

Did I even walk in on my own?

Jungwon, whose once-round youthful eyes had now sharpened, slowly closed and opened them again at my insistence.

His fresh expression turned calmer.

“You don’t remember yesterday?”

“Which part of yesterday are we talking about…?”

“After we got home.”

“I really don’t remember that.”

“Before going to bed, you said something to me.”

“What?”

“You said you’d take responsibility.”

“…For what?”

His long fingers pointed at me once—

Then at himself.

And the way he looked at me in that moment—so soft, almost affectionate—

“Me.”