Chapter 10: Lines That Shouldn’t Be Crossed

It was so unbearable that I rubbed both my arms and asked,

“Do you actually like that song?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Seriously?”

“I even listened to it while I was in the army.”

“Ah, shit. Don’t say things like that!”

I couldn’t bring myself to grab him by the collar, so I just clenched my hands awkwardly while he kept driving, occasionally humming along.

‘We are in love…’

I tried skipping the track, but he said the next one was my song too, so I gave up.

My entire face burned. I couldn’t take it.

What the hell. Why—why is it like this?

They say a cornered rat bites the cat—this was exactly that.

I’d told myself I couldn’t bring that topic up when we were alone, but being trapped in a car listening to my disastrous solo album somehow gave me the courage to think it’d be better to just say it.

I swallowed once and spoke.

“Jungwon.”

“Yes.”

“Why did you say that to me?”

“That?”

“You know. The confession.”

…And whatever this is between us right now.

“What do you mean, that? Hyung, that’s harsh.”

He said it like that, but he didn’t actually look hurt.
He just held the top of the steering wheel like usual.

I kept staring at his fingers, and Jungwon spoke in his usual calm tone.

“Just because.”

“Just because?”

“Because I like you.”

My raised brows dropped at his blunt answer.

“Is that not allowed?”

“Well… it’s just… weird. You and me?”

“You date just anyone, don’t you?”

“Hey. What do you mean anyone?”

“You know, hyung…”

His gaze, which had been fixed ahead, slowly dropped downward—

Below the steering wheel.

At first I thought he was checking the pedals.

“You have high standards for songs, but terrible taste in people.”

“…Did you just look down at your feet to say that?”

“Yes.”

There wasn’t even a hint of hesitation.

I was speechless.

Taking my silence as confirmation, Jungwon continued without restraint.

“When you get confessed to, you usually date them, right?”

“That’s not true.”

“It is.”

The way he said it made it sound like I’d dated a ton of people, but that wasn’t the case.
Seriously.

And what’s wrong with dating anyway?
As long as you’re not seeing two people at once.

And more importantly—usually?

“Yoon Jina counts, even if she used you.
And that stylist you had a thing with before—the manager figured it out and moved her to another team. You said nothing happened, but I know you dated briefly.
And then…”

“…There’s more?”

“There were a lot.”

And then he started listing names.

Most of them were people who had passed through the private gatherings Seungwoo and Jina were part of.

It started from getting close at variety shows like idol sports events, then grew into a social group—people bringing friends, drifting in and out, until it eventually faded and only smaller circles remained.

Then there were drinking parties, vague introductions, random contacts exchanged…

Had I really talked about myself that much?

Cold sweat broke out as I scratched behind my ear.

I only ever answered honestly when asked. That’s it.

So why does it sound like so many when you list them like that?

Anyway—

“That doesn’t mean I dated all of them.”

“Sure. But your taste is still bad.”

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“What do you even know?”

“I can tell just by looking.”

“Tell what, exactly?”

At that moment, Jungwon turned the steering wheel sharply.

I hadn’t noticed the curve and had to steady myself.

Then he lifted his right hand and briefly placed it on the upper part of my chest before pulling it away.

I stared blankly at his retreating hand.

Our Jungwon… treating me like this?

Unbelievable.

“Want me to list them again?”

“No. Stop.”

“Then why didn’t you date me?”

“Why would I date you?! What do I even know about you?!”

“I treated you well.”

“…What?”

“When you got a drinking penalty, I’d drink for you.”

“…What?”

I just repeated myself like an idiot.

Jungwon only shrugged slightly.

My mind raced.

When was that?

No, it definitely happened.

Before… and even at our last concert after-party…

I pointed at him hesitantly.

“You—weren’t you just… doing that so I wouldn’t pass out early?”

“Have you ever seen me do that for anyone else?”

“…Maybe?”

Even as I said it, I had zero confidence.

I clearly remembered him drinking for me a few times.
But for others? How would I know?

“That… you did that because of me?”

“Thinking back, yeah.”

“For something like that…”

“I switched lunchboxes with you too when you wanted something else.”

At that moment, a memory flashed through my mind—

Me whining like a kid about not wanting the duck in my meal.

I hadn’t actually asked to switch.

But Jungwon had silently handed me his lunchbox and taken mine instead.

I thought he just liked duck…

“It’s those small things.”

“Small things add up to this.”

…Yeah.

That’s how it works.

We’re always busy, always scattered—
doing something big for someone is one thing,

but paying attention to those small details?
That’s harder.

I know that.

I couldn’t say anything anymore.

A faint headache crept in.

Since when was Jungwon this good with words?
Why did it feel like I was being cornered?

As the car slowly curved, Jungwon let out a shallow sigh and muttered in an exaggerated tone,

“Hyung, you really can’t judge people.
Why didn’t you date someone like me?”

“You’re a guy, for starters.”

“But don’t you have something going on with Lee Juhyuk?”

“…What?”

“The way he looks at you is kind of weird.”

“……”

“…Or not. Just kidding.”

Jungwon smiled as if it were nothing more than a light joke.

My hand, which had been fiddling with my ear, drifted down to my thigh, unable to settle.

By the time I could say anything, my officetel was already in sight.

The moment the car stopped in front of my place, I unbuckled my seatbelt.

I couldn’t stay in that car any longer.

My songs still playing.
Jungwon acting like he knew all my past relationships—and mentioning a name he never should have.

As I pressed the button to release the belt, Jungwon’s hand suddenly came over mine.

At first, I didn’t understand what it meant.
Was he trying to help me unbuckle it?

His warm hand lightly held the back of mine before letting go.

Just as I was about to say goodbye, he smiled beautifully and said,

“Let’s stop here for today.”

“Stop what?”

“Nothing. Go on.”

“Yeah. See you. And… thanks.”

I didn’t linger.

I got out of the car and quickly walked away, not even checking if he’d left yet.

I climbed the stairs, tapped my card, and entered the building without looking back.

Only after reaching behind the security office did I finally feel a bit relieved.

Still unsettled, I felt along the wall and pressed the elevator button.

What do you mean, stop here?

I rubbed the back of my hand harshly against the elevator door.
Not to clean it—

but because it felt like the sensation of his touch was still clinging to my skin.

Jungwon. Seriously.

What are you doing?

This isn’t some hidden camera prank, right?

Flailing my arms dramatically like an actor, I groaned to myself before stepping into the elevator.

Fourth floor, as always.

And once again—too awkward a height to jump from.

…Alright.

Time to think about this properly.

Seriously.

As soon as I got inside, I collapsed face-down onto the dark living room sofa and closed my eyes.

My body felt heavy.

And in my mind, the memory of the first day Jungwon walked into the practice room began to play.

Was it after vocal training?

We’d been sitting in a large circle, and I’d been called into the middle to sing.

Even back then, Jungwon was already tall.
He stood out among everyone sitting down.

Not just because of his height, though.

Well… even then, he wasn’t fully grown yet—so we were about the same height.
Maybe he was already close to 180 cm.

I remembered his youthful face, staring at me like I was something fascinating while I sang.

Back then, I was full of myself—
thinking I was something just because a few videos of me had circulated online.

After finishing, I even gave him advice.

…But do I really need to go back that far to understand what’s happening now?

Then when did all of this even begin?

I picked up my phone and searched for old photos of us.

The one good thing about this job—
everything from my past is documented somewhere.

The bad thing—
those memories are all distorted.

Still, our young faces remained intact in the photos.

Looking at the jacket photo from our first album, I turned off the screen and closed my eyes.

They stung.

And then there were the names Jungwon had listed one by one.

Honestly, I didn’t regret my views on relationships.

Dating in this industry was basically a jungle.
Compared to that, I’d been pretty decent.

But—

There had been one name in there that should never have been said, even as a joke.

Even if nothing had actually happened—

I couldn’t sleep that night.