Chapter 28: Things We’re Supposed to Focus On

Apparently my answer hadn’t satisfied Hwan, because he went right back to staring at his hand and thinking it over by himself.

Then suddenly he glared at me intensely again.

While I was still wondering if he’d disliked my suggestion that much, his eyes flicked toward the collar of my shirt before he spoke.

“Jaeha hyung, wanna come get one with me?”

“Me? I’ve never really thought about it.”

“I don’t think tattoos would suit you anywhere else, but maybe on your collarbone or something.”

“That would suit me?”

I’d genuinely never imagined something like that before.

A tattoo.

Sure, they looked cool, but I couldn’t picture myself fitting that kind of image. Weren’t tattoos better suited for people with sexy or wild vibes?

Hwan didn’t seem all that serious about convincing me either, because he quickly returned his attention to his phone.

I absentmindedly looked down at my wrist before turning toward Yeonho hyung.

Honestly, tattoos didn’t really suit him either.

Glasses, maybe.

But tattoos? Definitely not.

The manager eventually came back carrying huge shopping bags in both hands, probably from a grocery store.

We helped unpack everything he’d bought.

Boxes of tissues claimed one corner of the spotless dining table, and colorful cups lined up neatly beside the sink. Spoons, chopsticks, towels too.

Eventually the manager started organizing everything by himself, so I dusted my hands off and stepped back out.

Yeonho hyung, who’d just gone to throw blankets into one of the rooms earlier, stood in the doorway leading into the kitchen watching the manager’s round back while he organized things.

I walked over beside him and casually started talking.

“Hyung, what are you looking at?”

“Jaeha.”

“Yeah?”

“Watching manager hyung organize things like this kind of reminds me of our first dorm.”

“True.”

Even while agreeing, something about the memory needed correcting for accuracy.

Comparing the tiny cherry-colored kitchen from back then to this glossy modern one felt unfair.

“The dorm the CEO gave us back then was twenty-four pyeong split into three rooms.”

“You remember well.”

“It was traumatic. Looking back now, I seriously don’t know how we lived packed in there.”

And that twenty-four pyeong wasn’t just normal living space either.

It was twenty-four pyeong stuffed full of stage outfits, gifts we’d received, and everything accumulated during promotions.

There was barely any room left for actual people to live.

Every empty wall had been crammed with clothing racks and shelves, and inside that cramped place, the five of us barely slept while dragging ourselves through schedules half-conscious.

While talking, Yeonho hyung kept watching the manager neatly arrange things.

So I stood beside him and watched too.

Five cups.

Five rice bowls.

Watching the cabinets slowly fill with colorful things gave me a strange feeling.

Still, looking back, I think those times were good in their own way.

Even though I vividly remembered how miserable it was and how cramped the rooms felt, memories always got polished over like this eventually.

Not because our bodies were comfortable or anything.

But back then, there wasn’t time to look elsewhere.

Just like now, we were trying to survive—but at least then, our goals had been crystal clear.

I think all five of us were like that.

All we had to do was run straight ahead.

So why were there suddenly so many things to worry about now?

My future.

Contract renewals.

What I was supposed to do afterward.

Whether there would still be any use for me once the group’s name got stripped away from me.

My parents subtly placing their hopes on me.

And even my crazy younger sibling casually hinting about wanting to quit studying for the civil service exam and go abroad instead.

Thinking about it suddenly pissed me off again.

Yeonho hyung, who’d always been naturally touchy, rested a hand on my right shoulder.

The thoughts that had started drifting elsewhere snapped back to reality.

“Jaeha.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you think Jungwon became the most successful out of all of us because he doesn’t overthink things?”

“Why bring that up all of a sudden?”

“I’ve just been thinking about it lately.”

We’d been reminiscing about our old dorm, and somehow the conversation had suddenly veered in another direction.

Still, I quietly waited for him to continue.

Nine years.

Just like I’d been looking back on the past and wondering what to do next, Yeonho hyung probably had a lot on his mind too.

He was two years older than me, after all.

That was why even when rumors spread that he’d started focusing less on the group and attending separate meetings elsewhere, I could hear it once or twice and let it slide.

“Sometimes I think maybe I should’ve stopped peeking toward other paths and just focused on one direction. The group, my future… instead of thinking too deeply about everything.”

“Jungwon… does have insane focus.”

That much was true.

Jungwon immersed himself completely.

Depending on what he chose to focus on, his emotions could suddenly feel incredibly pure—or impossibly deep.

And with that face and that physique on top of being able to immerse himself so fully, it was no wonder he exploded in acting especially.

As I nodded quietly, Yeonho hyung’s words about Jungwon echoed in my ears.

“When Jungwon focuses on something, that’s literally all he sees. Like nothing else matters.”

Yeah.

That really did seem true.

For whatever reason, he’d ignored my resistance, ignored the circumstances, and bulldozed forward entirely toward the goal of dating me.

I obviously couldn’t say that part out loud to Yeonho hyung, so instead I awkwardly fiddled with my earlobe by myself.

The tips of my ears felt warm.

In the end, the homeowner never arrived on time.

Once the manager finished organizing everything, he shoved us all into a van and drove us to the meeting location.

Usually we took a Carnival when moving individually, and at most a Starex when together, but apparently they’d borrowed this van specifically because of the Close-Up filming.

Riding together like this really made it start to feel real that we were officially beginning group activities again.

Yeonho hyung sat in the passenger seat, while I stretched my legs out in the second row directly behind the driver.

The van’s high ceiling and individual seats were nice because they actually gave enough room to stretch.

I extended my arms and body fully before letting out a long breath, but dizziness hit me shortly after, so I slumped back down again.

Only then did I remember I’d forgotten to take my vitamins while packing earlier.

Maybe that was why sleepiness kept crashing over me the moment I closed my eyes.

I woke once halfway through the drive, but traffic outside the window was completely jammed.

So I just closed my eyes again.

The next time I opened them was when the engine shut off in a dark underground parking garage.

The faint vibration of the car stopped.

Still half-asleep, I climbed out of the van.

The entire time we walked up the stairs, the manager kept repeatedly warning us from behind.

“They might start filming the second you walk in to use it for the opening, so be careful.”

“Did Jungwon get here already?”

“He said he took the outer ring road. He’ll be here soon.”

Even after hearing the answer, I still had no idea how long “soon” actually meant.

Probably just that he was on his way.

I nodded absentmindedly while walking down the hallway until I saw Yeonho hyung standing in front of a closed door.

He glanced at each of us one by one.

When his eyes landed on me, I gave a small nod back.

I decided I’d just greet everyone politely and keep quiet after going inside.

I didn’t want to become the center of an episode.

Just imagining the hate I’d get online if they dragged out conflict and reconciliation storylines already made me sick.

Yeonho hyung took a deep breath before sliding the door open wide.

We entered one by one while exchanging greetings.

The Close-Up production team sat lined up along one side of two long tables pushed together.

The man standing in the center extended his hand first.

“Welcome. Traffic must’ve been awful, so thank you for making the trip.”

Even among the younger entertainment department producers, Close-Up’s PD Park Kangho was considered especially young—barely in his early thirties.

After entering the station, he’d first completely bombed a mild cooking variety show before changing direction and finding massive success with Close-Up’s provocative concept instead.

He’d even won awards for it.

Since his reputation was at its peak lately, people often said he was far more stubborn than his friendly smiling face suggested.

Especially Seungwoo, who’d filmed Close-Up two seasons ago—he used to curse the guy out constantly.

The writer standing beside him smiling brightly was the same.

She claimed to be our fan, but apparently she said that to every group that came in, so we weren’t supposed to fall for it.

Still, hearing nice things felt nice regardless.

After greeting everyone individually, I deliberately took the seat farthest from both the PD and the head writer.

While Yeonho hyung politely exchanged small talk about traffic and compliments about our upcoming album, he smoothly flattered them back too.

“Thank you. We really enjoyed Close-Up too. We were excited when we heard we’d been invited on. Please take care of us.”

“Which episodes did you like best? We’re working on the scripts right now, so we’ll try to tailor things as much as possible.”

The head writer spoke warmly, but the dark circles beneath her eyes made the “working on scripts” part feel painfully genuine.

They’d probably had to throw out whatever they’d originally written and rebuild storylines around us from scratch.

Suddenly, Yeonho hyung turned toward our side.

I instantly sensed danger and lowered my gaze toward the empty plate in front of me.

There was no way Yeonho hyung had genuinely been a fan of the show.

“Hwan. Which episode did you say you liked again?”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You mentioned it before.”

Like hell he had.

Hwan was probably internally cursing the show out just as much as everyone else.

But Yeonho hyung could confidently shove him into the conversation because he already knew Wooseong would jump in to save things anyway.

Right on cue, Wooseong immediately started talking.

“I watched the U-Star episodes. I seriously thought those members were about to stop the car and start fighting for real.”

“Ah. So you like conflict. We’ll keep that in mind.”

“No, no! We don’t have conflicts or anything. We all get along really well. I’m not just saying that to sound nice either—we seriously do.”