Chapter 15: The Goddess’s Apology

“Cough, gasp—!”

I did not want to meet the Dragon. In this world, the Dragon was a colossal being that, along with the Goddess, acted as an axis of the world. That was just another way of saying it was an existence large enough to shake my life to its core.

“Urgh.”

Go meet the Dragon? I should have known from the moment he started babbling about an Honorary Dukedom. I wanted nothing more than to roll around, eat, and sleep. I couldn’t fathom why they kept stirring up such bothersome business.

As I rejected the idea with all my heart, the Goddess must have finally tuned into my frequency, because a cough erupted at the most “opportune” moment.

“Ian! Ian!”

As I clutched my chest and coughed, Felix hurriedly stopped the carriage and sat me up. As soon as he slid his hand under my back to support me, blood sprayed from my mouth at a most inopportune moment.

I tried to cover my mouth, but I couldn’t stop the blood from splattering all over the sweater and Felix’s face. Oh, please… Goddess… I sincerely took back the thought that we were “well-connected.”

Felix pulled me into an embrace, using a handkerchief to catch the blood while patting my back. A warm, golden energy spread from my spine through my entire body. Since the servants were in a different carriage behind us, Felix had to clean up the bloodstains himself in the emergency. Blood imbued with the Goddess’s mana was stubborn; it didn’t yield even to the power of a Dragon and wouldn’t wash away easily.

Fortunately, the Temple wasn’t far, so I only had to endure being held in Felix’s arms for a short while longer. I looked at Felix with incredulous eyes as he whispered for me to hold on just a bit. If you hadn’t brought up the Dragon and made me so uncomfortable, this wouldn’t have happened, I thought.

When we arrived at the Temple, Mitchell was waiting. Before the driver could open the door, Felix wrapped the blanket over my shivering form.

“It might be stuffy, but bear with it for a moment.”

He was likely trying to hide my bloodied state. Dried bloodstains couldn’t be properly cleaned until we were inside. When the door opened, Felix carried me out. The stale carriage air vanished, replaced by the refreshing breeze of the outside world.

“I greet the Sun of the—Your Majesty! The blood!”

Mitchell cut his greeting short, his voice rising in alarm as he rushed toward us. Soon, the blanket covering my face was pulled back slightly.

“A small… incident occurred on the way,” Felix said.

“Heavens, Ian! Are you alright?”

“Yes… cough.”

Even though it was just a thin layer of cloth, its sudden removal meant the cold air hit me directly, making my nose itch. A body without mana was fragile. Since it was near noon, the sunlight was blinding, so I closed my eyes. I felt Mitchell’s cool hand gently cover my eyes. Only after readjusting the blanket to block the sun did he withdraw his hand.

“I must get you both inside first.”

“Please.”

“I had lunch prepared, but it seems we’ll have to reset it. This way.”

The Temple was truly different. The Goddess’s aura filled the boundaries of the barrier so thickly that even breathing felt like an act of sanctification. Felix followed Mitchell toward the VIP guest room, their pace nearly a run.

Once inside, Felix sat down while still holding me. After settling me stably on his lap and wrapping his arms around me, he pulled away the blanket. As I blinked, Mitchell entered with steaming water and towels. He handed a wet cloth to Felix first.

“Your Majesty, it would be best if you wiped your face. Leave Ian to me.”

Felix placed me on the sofa. Since my blood was imbued with the Goddess’s mana, it could only be removed through physical effort, not magic or Dragon Words. Felix left with a towel to clean the splatters from his face.

Mitchell knelt below the sofa and carefully removed the blanket. My conscience pricked me for being so limp and useless, but I had to commit to the role here. I rested my head on the armrest and felt the dried blood on my face.

“Ah… Mitchell, it’s been so long, and yet I’m in this state… cough… I’m sorry.”

“No, Ian. I wonder if I shouldn’t have called you. It is I who am sorry.”

Of all things, the outfit Zeimer had excitedly dressed me in for my first outing was the sweater from Director Janet, layered over a white shirt. Since the blood was fresh, it wouldn’t stain if washed immediately, but I still felt a pang of regret.

“Ian, I brought some clothes for you to change into. Since all we have are priestly robes… is that alright?” Mitchell asked as he helped me out of my clothes.

“Yes. I’m sorry, Mitchell. I just don’t have any strength in my body right now…”

“It’s fine. I could serve you all night and be happy.”

After removing my top, Mitchell quickly wiped me down with a warm towel and dressed me in the new clothes. They smelled of the incense used in the Temple.

By then, Felix had returned, his face clean.

“It’s alright. Everything will be fine. The Goddess wouldn’t have called you today for no reason.”

“Indeed. Ian, we were going to have a meal together, but this room isn’t suitable. Let’s move.”

I was drowsy from the warm towel and wanted to sprawl on the sofa, but Felix picked me up again. Being carried around like a paper doll made me feel a bit like a sack of potatoes.

“I thought about eating in the garden, but it would be more comfortable inside, wouldn’t it?” Mitchell asked with an angelic smile. I didn’t care either way, so I just looked at Felix. As I blinked up at him, Felix smiled back.

“Inside would be better.”

“Then, this way.”

As we moved to the next room, I saw servants busily setting out steaming dishes.

“Please wait a moment. It will be ready soon.”

“…Cough.”

I tried to answer, but a cough came out instead. Felix’s expression immediately turned grave again as he stroked my back.

The food was impressive for a Temple—appetizing and clearly prepared with care. The young acolytes started chattering as they approached.

“Wow, it’s the Hero! Hello!”

“Could I please shake your hand just once?”

This was the change Mitchell had brought about, having always hated the authoritarian culture of the Temple. The Temple, which used to be silent, solemn, and stifled under the weight of divine authority, now radiated a lively energy since Mitchell’s return from the war.

“Hello. Nice to meet you.”

“Can I brag about meeting the Hero?”

“Yes, that’s fine.”

Felix leaned down so I could shake hands with the acolytes. At first, being carried around was humiliating, but I had grown so used to it that I felt nothing. True to their roles as servants of the Goddess, the acolytes seemed more interested in me—the one chosen by the Goddess—than in Felix, the Emperor. They asked for a blessing, which made me hesitate, but Mitchell intervened at the right moment.

“Children, the Hero is tired. Stop bothering him and go have your lunch.”

There were two chairs and one armchair at the table. It was obvious the plush armchair was the seat of honor, and I knew Felix would put me there. Mitchell didn’t object.

As predicted, I sat in the armchair and began receiving food from Mitchell like a baby bird. As soon as I sat, Mitchell draped a blanket over my knees.

Temple food was generally mild and soft, avoiding heavy spices or high heat. These dishes were even milder than usual, likely for my sake; I could barely taste any seasoning at all.

It reminded me of the time I spent at the Temple as the “Goddess’s Proxy.” Mitchell hadn’t been there then, but the Temple was certainly better than the Palace. It was quiet, a place where one could focus entirely on oneself.

Thinking I could manage this much, I reached for a spoon, but Mitchell quickly took it. I looked at him with a question mark on my face as he blew on a spoonful of soup.

“I heard you receive help with your meals every day at the Palace.”

“It’s not like that lately…”

“And your condition isn’t great yet. Now, say ‘Ah’.”

Habitually, I opened my mouth, and the smooth soup flowed in. I glanced at Felix, who was already piling grilled olives onto coarse bread. Felix ate even more than Claire, who was much larger than him.

Still, it was nice to see Mitchell. He looked even more holy now, wearing the priestly robes he couldn’t wear during the war, as he massaged my hands and spoke softly.

After a lunch that was remarkably simple and brief for an imperial visit, we finally went to see the Goddess. This time, I was carried by Mitchell to the prayer room. During the war, Mitchell had been bone-thin from stress and the strain of exhausting his divine power, but now he looked healthy and vibrant.

We reached the prayer room, me bundled in blankets for the walk through the garden. Hearing the sound of flowing water, I looked around; holy water was bubbling up, signaling the Goddess’s presence.

As we climbed the stairs to the statue, the water sparkled, and a violet mist began to rise. Once the mist grew thick enough to fill the room, the Goddess’s holy voice resonated from all directions.

[My children. You have brought the Hero. Could you give me some time to speak with him alone?]

Mitchell and Felix placed me on the altar and promised to return shortly. Only after they left did the Goddess reveal herself. I sat up once they were gone.

“Goddess, please, can’t you put some clothes on?”

[Haha, isn’t this more mystical?]

“Not at all.”

I grumbled, rolling my eyes because I didn’t know where to look. Suddenly, clothes shimmered into existence, wrapping around her body.

[It has been a month since that dream. Have you been well?]

“No.”

[Why? Is something wrong?]

Is something wrong? Of course there is! I fought the urge to scream something sacrilegious.

“Goddess, you’re really too much. Why won’t you let me eat anything delicious? Why do you make other people worry for nothing? I honestly don’t even know why you’re making me play sick like this in the first place.”

I didn’t hold back my whining. I poured out all my frustrations like a machine gun.

“Why is my body so cold? Why have I lost all this weight?”

The benevolent Goddess listened to everything. Her flowing white hair shone like a halo.

[It is because your soul was away from your body for a year. It is temporary. Do not worry.]

“It’s still too much.”

[I am sorry. It was the best way for you to stay close to those children and rest in peace for a while.]

As she held me and patted my back, tears unexpectedly welled up.

“I don’t… want to do this anymore. I want to quit.”

[Yes, my child.]

“You always say it’s for the best. But it was never the best for me. I want to leave the Palace, the capital, and you. I hate you, Goddess.”

[…Bear with it just a little longer. I am sorry.]

I felt her kiss my forehead.

[You need those children.]

“What?”

[You will understand in time. I am sorry. I am so sorry, child.]

I looked up at her as she continued to whisper apologies. My heart thudded, and the sound echoed in my ears. It felt as though I had just remembered something very important that I had forgotten.

“Surely… it’s not over yet?”

My voice was faint and trembling. The Goddess’s gaze was unwavering, but mine was shaking uncontrollably.

[I am sorry.]

“You didn’t say anything. You said it was all over.”

[…]

“But so suddenly like this?”

The ground felt like it was falling away beneath my feet.

“Do I have to wait indefinitely again? Was even this your will?”

[I will be on your side. I am always on your side. Do not be lonely, and do not be afraid.]

Tears fell as I realized even this was her arrangement. She said she would let me rest. She said she would let me go after pushing me onto the battlefield and making me carry a burden for a lifetime.

I resented the Goddess for forcing salvation upon me. But I couldn’t truly hate her. My body originated from her. I could feel that she was in more pain than I was.

“Promise me, Goddess.”

I buried my face in her embrace and cried for a long time before looking up. She still wore that benevolent smile.

“Just answer me this. You are on my side, right…?”

[I am sorry, child.]

“Yes, that’s enough.”

[I am so sorry.]

“So now… do I just have to save the world one more time?”

[…]

“According to your will? While watching my precious people die?”

[No, it’s not like that this time.]

The silent Goddess shook her head hurriedly. I wanted to laugh mockingly, but I couldn’t. From the beginning, I was just a piece created for this purpose, a fragment following her will. I could whine and get angry, but I couldn’t dare to truly defy my creator.

“I’ll do anything. I’ll do whatever it takes, Goddess.”

[…Very well.]

“I’ll do it all by myself.”

[Very well.]

With a face stained with tears, I smiled. I smiled brightly. I couldn’t be happier. This time, truly—

“I… will do it…”