Chapter 9: A Letter from Home

I slept straight through the morning after Claire and Zeimer visited. I didn’t stir until I felt a hand stroking me.

Someone was lightly brushing the back of their hand against my cheek. Perhaps because my body temperature had dropped so much, the touch felt searingly hot. It was hot, but it felt good, so I kept my eyes closed for a long time, savoring it.

I finally opened my eyes when the stroking stopped. The moment the languidly enjoyable sensation vanished, my cheek felt suddenly cold. Chasing the warmth, I rubbed my face against the empty air and blinked my eyes open. I was curious to see who had been petting me.

“Ah, you’re awake, Ian.”

It was Ilya. As soon as our eyes met, he apologized. He seemed to think his touch had disturbed my sleep.

“I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. Having been jolted from the edge of falling back asleep, I felt a bit hazy. The cheek Ilya had been stroking was my right one. It seemed the image of his fiancée—Claire’s sister, Cezanne—whose face had begun to rot from demonic encroachment before I transferred it to my own body, was deeply etched into Ilya’s mind.

Cezanne was a brilliant mage, one of the young heroes who served on the front lines in the legion led by Zeimer. After the war ended, she left the Magic Tower following Zeimer.

While she could have joined the Imperial court like Zeimer, she declined and was currently preparing for a professorship at the Academy. Cezanne and her brother Claire had a somewhat distant, formal relationship, but she and Ilya had been close since childhood, eventually becoming engaged.

The moment I thought about being thirsty, a dry cough erupted from my throat. Ilya immediately and carefully trickled water into my mouth. I took it in small sips, just enough to moist her my lips. My throat still felt like parchment.

The lukewarm water in such a small amount left me wanting more, so I poked my tongue out to lick my lips. Since I was drinking while lying down, water naturally trickled down the side of my mouth. Just as I was about to lift a hand to wipe it, Ilya dabbed the water away with a cloth. Having moistened my throat, I felt like I could finally manage a few words.

“Hello, Ilya.”

My voice was still horribly cracked. Without mana circulating through my body, my physical capabilities had plummeted. My soul had been away for a year, leaving the body weak, and the lack of mana management made my physical state even worse.

I wanted to clear my throat properly, but I didn’t even have the strength in my core to do so, so I gave up. Ilya, noticing this, spoke first.

“Ian, it’s alright if you don’t speak. I only stopped by today to deliver some good news.”

Good news? There was no such thing as good news for me. Without much expectation, I figured it was something trivial, but I widened my eyes anyway. I felt like I should at least pretend to be curious.

“A letter arrived for you, Ian.”

A letter? This time, I truly widened my eyes in surprise and genuine curiosity.

“Actually, the day you returned to the Palace, I sent a letter to the Rose Orphanage.”

“Ah…”

Come to think of it, I had been worrying about how to contact the Director. I figured someone would have reached out, but I felt I should have done it myself. I must have subconsciously known Ilya would take care of it. No one surpassed Ilya when it came to being delicate and meticulous.

Ilya picked up an envelope from the small table beside the bed. The sealing wax was still intact. He took my hand, turned it palm-up, and placed the envelope on it.

“A letter…”

I applied a tiny bit of strength to hold the letter and tilted it forward. Only then could I see the envelope clearly. Ilya was still supporting my wrist. It wasn’t the usual cream-colored envelope Director Janet used at the orphanage, but a very luxurious red one embossed with gold. Ilya must have sent a return envelope along with his initial letter.

Lacking strength, the moment I tilted it a bit more, the envelope slipped through my fingers. Ilya caught it before it could fall past my wrist and placed it back in my hand.

“Would you like to open it?”

Ilya asked. I nodded. He stood up, took both of my hands in his, and slowly broke the seal.

Snap—

I had the idle thought that the dark green wax looked like the color of Ilya’s hair as I left my hands in his care. The sensation of the wax breaking against my palm was vivid. I watched quietly as Ilya—acting through my hands—opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.

“Would you like to read it yourself?”

I hesitated for a moment. I wasn’t sure if the letter was meant specifically for me or if it was just a formal reply to Ilya’s letter. Ilya placed the neatly folded paper in my hand and waited patiently.

“Is it for me?”

My voice still had that unpleasant, raspy crack. Ilya gave the letter a small shake, as if asking for permission. When I nodded, he withdrew his hands from mine and unfolded the paper. There were two sheets.

“One is for the Imperial family—well, a reply to me—and the other is a letter for you, Ian.”

Ilya’s eyes quickly scanned what appeared to be the official reply. He nodded repeatedly, seemingly finding answers to his previous correspondence. I couldn’t contain my curiosity any longer.

“What did the Director say?”

“May I read it to you?”

“Yes.”

Ilya set down the official reply and picked up the letter addressed to me.

“It is a letter from Madame Janet.”

Ilya’s pleasant voice began to read the letter in a calm tone.

To Ian,

How are you? It’s the Director. I received the letter saying you’ve woken up. It came from the Imperial Palace, and from the Prime Minister himself.

He said he would come to fetch me soon so that I can see you. I will be ready to leave the moment he arrives, so please call for me whenever you are ready.

My child, I miss you. I want to see you so badly—to see if you are healthy, if you are doing well, if there is anywhere that hurts, if you are eating properly. You always had such cold hands and feet; I wonder if you are keeping warm. I wonder if you still sleep so deeply that you wouldn’t know if someone carried you away.

I miss you. I want to see you soon. My son. I miss you so much. Sometimes I find myself crying because I miss you so. But then I stop, thinking of how lucky I am just to hear the news that you are alive.

Thank you so much for coming back alive. I always love you. I always love you, my child. My baby.

I was weak and poor, so I couldn’t protect you. I should have found some magic potion to dye your hair.

I still regret having to let you go simply because your hair was black. To me, every single one of you is as precious as the whole world.

Throw away that heavy burden now. If it’s too hard for you to carry, I will carry it for you. Even if the world was cruel to you, I am proud of you for loving the world.

What great luck it was for someone as full of love as you to come to me. Thank you for coming to me.

This is getting long. I’ll stop here. Stay healthy. I’ll come to see you soon. I love you.

— Janet Osolo Rose.

I held my breath until Ilya’s voice stopped. I had to listen to every single word, missing nothing. It had been well over a year since I last saw her. Of course, that was one year by my count. If you included the time I was submerged in Holy Water, Director Janet hadn’t seen me for over two years.

Ilya placed the letter back in my hand. I kept clutching it. Noticing I was lost in thought, Ilya quietly pulled the blanket up for me, gave a low-voiced farewell, and stepped out of the room.

I lifted the letter and engraved every single word into my eyes again. When I pressed my face against the paper, it smelled familiar. The envelope was the one provided by the Palace, but the stationery was the same kind she always used.

I closed my eyes and thought of the shawl the Director always wore. The chestnut-brown shawl was a bit worn, but well-maintained, and it always carried a cozy scent. The warm embrace whenever I visited the orphanage, that gentle smile.

There was a time when I met the Goddess and spent a long time denying reality. I, too, felt the fear of war that blanketed the entire Empire. I trembled with terror, but in the end, I became the Hero to protect them. My childhood family was the beginning of that.

There were things I loved. To protect them, I threw myself away. And now, the things I loved were protecting me.