Chapter 40: A Fateful Memory Lapse

Yoonwoo had been absent from school for nearly a week, deliberately avoiding Yeon-chae.

His evasion was so blatant it became impossible for him to ignore.

From dawn until late into the night, Yeon-chae ceaselessly roamed the campus and its surroundings, desperate to find him.

His sole intention was to plead for his forgiveness the moment their paths crossed.

Yet, Yoonwoo’s presence remained elusive; not even a shadow of him could be found anywhere.

This held true not only for the school but also for the cafe where he worked part-time.

“Yoonwoo?” Jungseo inquired, her face etched with concern as she relayed the news at the cafe Yeon-chae hesitantly visited.

– I heard he’s quite ill. He was advised to rest for about two weeks.

Yeon-chae’s face went utterly blank.

In the days he couldn’t find Yoonwoo, he visibly wasted away, losing weight with each passing day.

A profound despair settled over him, making him increasingly wish for death.

As a full week passed without any sign of Yoonwoo, Yeon-chae solidified his resolve: he had to find him himself.

There was no other option but to confront him directly.

It was utterly preposterous that Yoonwoo was skipping school to avoid him, especially when he was the one who had caused the trouble.

When he finally met him, he would somehow beg for his forgiveness, promising never to appear before him again…

Yeon-chae exhaled a long, shaky breath, reflecting on his thoughts.

He knew he would never see Yoonwoo again after this.

This encounter would be their last.

However, to Yeon-chae’s utter surprise, Yoonwoo suddenly appeared in the lecture hall.

His heart plummeted, a sensation akin to freefall.

Yeon-chae tentatively made his way towards Yoonwoo.

With every step that brought him closer, the frantic thumping of his own heart echoed loudly in his ears.

While it might have been wiser to wait until after class to speak with him in a more private setting, he found himself utterly unable to delay any longer.

Discussing such a sensitive matter in the middle of a lecture hall felt somewhat unconventional, yet he knew that any further postponement would surely cause his heart to explode before the class concluded.

Mercifully, Yeon-chae managed to position himself before Yoonwoo just before his heart truly gave out.

“…Oh, Yeon-chae,” Yoonwoo uttered, a hint of surprise in his voice.

Upon seeing Yeon-chae, Yoonwoo did not immediately slap him or kick his knees out from under him.

Instead, he simply gazed at him for a moment before looking away.

His cold, averted profile sent a sharp pang through Yeon-chae’s chest.

He found himself utterly at a loss for words.

‘Should I say I’m sorry for accosting him? Or that I did it out of love?’

Such phrases sounded like something a cinematic s*x offender would utter.

‘Yet, my feelings were truly sincere…’

“Senior,” Yeon-chae managed to say, his voice barely a whisper.

Having called out to Yoonwoo, Yeon-chae hesitated, carefully selecting his words.

He subtly ran the tip of his tongue over his rough, chapped lower lip, then darted his eyes towards Yoonwoo.

He remained silent, seemingly awaiting Yeon-chae’s explanation—or perhaps an apology, or even a confession.

Swallowing his tears, Yeon-chae finally parted his lips, and the first words that tumbled out were completely unexpected.

“Why have you been missing so many classes?”

His words sounded more like an accusation than a question.

Yeon-chae was so taken aback by his own tone that he failed to register Yoonwoo’s response.

He parted his lips again, determined to articulate something more appropriate this time.

“Were you very ill…? No… Are you feeling better now?”

The words had barely left his mouth when he flinched in surprise.

Yoonwoo must have been gravely ill.

A Beta who had fully endured an Alpha’s rut could not possibly be unscathed.

Yet, he had just asked if he was ‘very ill’…

‘Am I insane?’ he wondered.

Yeon-chae’s face was utterly devoid of color, his fingertips trembling uncontrollably as his mouth merely gaped open.

Yoonwoo’s reaction, however, was far from what he expected.

“I’m fine,” Yoonwoo replied softly. “You, on the other hand, seem to be in more pain.”

Yoonwoo asked, his face etched with concern, his voice surprisingly gentle.

‘…Gentle?’ Yeon-chae thought, bewildered.

Yeon-chae slowly blinked his wide eyes, processing his words.

Then, almost without conscious thought, he blurted out a response.

“I was a bit ill too,” he admitted.

“Were you very ill? You really should have rested more.”

“…”

Yoonwoo offered an awkward smile and, to Yeon-chae’s astonishment, began to comfort him.

His face, as he inquired if he’d had a bad dream, appeared a little thinner and somewhat drawn from fatigue, but otherwise, he seemed exactly as he always did.

Yeon-chae cautiously studied his expression.

Yeon-chae then probed him, subtly lying that he had changed his own pajamas.

Yoonwoo, however, seemed to have absolutely no recollection of Yeon-chae having changed his clothes.

He attempted to discuss the events that followed, but the outcome was identical.

It appeared Yoonwoo truly… didn’t remember the events of that day.

A sudden, electrifying realization struck him like a bolt of lightning.

Yoonwoo had no memory of having spent Yeon-chae’s rut with him.

This meant he could avoid his hatred entirely.

This was Yeon-chae’s final, desperate chance.

From that day forward, Yeon-chae became Yoonwoo’s constant shadow.

If he felt thirsty, he fetched him water; if he craved ice cream, he would immediately go out and buy it for him.

Perhaps his behavior, akin to a pathetic puppy, softened Yoonwoo’s stance, as his attitude gradually thawed.

It seemed Yoonwoo simply believed their relationship, which had been strained, was now returning to normal with a junior he’d had a minor falling out with.

Yet, with every passing moment, Yeon-chae’s sense of guilt only deepened.

He occupied the space beside Yoonwoo under the pretense of taking responsibility for his transgression.

It was questionable for whom this ‘atonement’ was truly intended.

Ultimately, these stolen moments were incredibly precious to Yeon-chae, making his resolve even stronger.

‘I’ll just stay like this until next year,’ Yeon-chae eventually decided.

He intended to cling to Yoonwoo’s side until his graduation, then cleanly and completely let go of his feelings.

Even if Yeon-chae didn’t consciously make the decision, he would inevitably have to distance himself from Yoonwoo by then.

Once he secured a job, there was no telling where his path would lead.

He possessed a small, refined face, clear-cut features, impeccable skin, and a truly charming eye-smile that crinkled beautifully at the corners.

It was inconceivable that people would simply allow Yoonwoo to remain single.

Yeon-chae vividly imagined a future where Yoonwoo, after joining a securities firm as planned, would have an ‘accident’ with a new colleague, leading to a premarital pregnancy and a lightning-fast rush to marriage.

He swore to himself daily that he would escape his ‘keyring’ status before ever having to witness such a sight.

‘So, Hyung, just accept me as your keyring until then,’ he silently pleaded.

Just that precise distance.

In his current predicament, where he couldn’t possibly ask for anything more from Yoonwoo, this arrangement felt ideal.

Thereafter, whenever Yeon-chae encountered him, he would forcefully suppress the unruly emotions that threatened to spill over, pushing them deep within his chest.

Nothing seemed to change, save for the growing ache in his heart, which felt a little more bruised each time he struggled to contain his feelings.

At least, for a time, that was how it was.

The problems, however, began to surface about a month later.

Yoonwoo steadily grew thinner, his complexion turning increasingly pallid.

Yeon-chae initially failed to notice, as he appeared perfectly fine whenever he was in his presence.

However, if he left his side for even a brief moment and then returned, he would find him looking as if he were on the verge of collapsing.

Then, one day, Yoonwoo truly did collapse.

A sudden, thunderous thud echoed through the lecture hall.

Yeon-chae rushed to his side and reached out his hand; the palm that met his was astonishingly cold, like ice.

Yet, no sooner had he collapsed than Yoonwoo, upon seeing Yeon-chae, suddenly regained a perfectly normal demeanor and vehemently refused to go to the hospital.

He somehow managed to coax him into his car, but during the thirty-minute drive to the general hospital, he slumped in the passenger seat, deeply asleep and utterly still, his face etched with exhaustion.

Upon finally arriving at the hospital, he was unceremoniously turned away, informed that he was not his legal guardian.

“Are you his husband?” the nurse asked, her face impassive.

‘He’s my fiancé,’ the forgotten vow to be content as merely his ‘keyring’ momentarily slipped his mind, and the words rose to his throat.

Yet, he managed to suppress them with every ounce of his resolve.

Yoonwoo, observing Yeon-chae’s sullen expression, gazed at him with a peculiar look.

Yoonwoo insisted he was fine.

When Yeon-chae pressed him to undergo all the necessary examinations, he meekly replied that he had scheduled an appointment for a few days later.

Then, a while after that, when he inquired about the test results, he mumbled evasively that nothing was amiss.

His expression, however, was far from convincing.

It was precisely the same look he wore when, after secretly devouring an entire box of cream cake Yeon-chae had given him, he’d gotten a stomachache and whined, denying everything to the probing neighbor aunt who demanded to know what he’d secretly eaten.

Soon after, Yoonwoo began skipping classes once more.

Around that time, Yeon-chae found himself unable to focus on anything.

It was only after sending numerous texts that he finally received a reply from Yoonwoo.

[Please show me your notes. T_T It would be even better if you could record the lecture too. T_T]

Yeon-chae hurled his phone onto the bed with a frustrated sigh.

‘He’s practically on his deathbed, and that’s what he asks for…’ he thought, exasperated.

Nevertheless, he knew he had to comply with his request.

So, he began the tedious task of meticulously rewriting his hastily scribbled major notes into a new notebook, transforming his messy handwriting into neat, legible script.

When that alarming state persisted for several more days, Yeon-chae firmly resolved to visit Yoonwoo’s house.

He obtained his address from Hyun-jun.

Yeon-chae’s expression must have been profoundly grim, for Hyun-jun, looking surprised, gently patted his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

“Hey, what could possibly be wrong?” Hyun-jun asked dismissively.

“He probably just caught a bad cold. It’s only been a few days of missed classes.”

“Does Yoonwoo Senior skip classes just because he has a cold?” Yeon-chae retorted, skepticism clear in his voice.

“Hmm, I suppose not…” Hyun-jun conceded, trailing off.

The Yoonwoo Yeon-chae knew was someone whose expression would visibly darken if he was even ten minutes late for class, purely out of concern for his tuition money.

As he gloomily entered the address into his phone, Hyun-jun added once more.

“You said you’d show Yoonwoo your notes. Can’t you show them to me too?”

The audacity to expect the same treatment as Yoonwoo was infuriating.

Yeon-chae still harbored resentment from when Hyun-jun had confessed to Yoonwoo, and the fallout had inadvertently affected him.

Without a word, Yeon-chae spun on his heel and turned his back.

From behind him, Hyun-jun clucked his tongue in disapproval.

“That disrespectful brat. If you treated other seniors even half as well as you treat Yoonwoo, huh?”

“No, thank you.”

A discarded paper cup Hyun-jun had thrown whizzed past his back.

He dodged it, catching it with one hand, only for another to fly his way, which he instinctively caught as well.

“If you litter, you’ll go to hell.”

“I threw that to hit your head, why! Why can’t you just let one hit you?”

Yeon-chae merely shrugged his shoulders and continued on his way.