Chapter 48: A Sudden Decision

He lay still on the master bedroom floor, without even a blanket, staring at the ceiling until afternoon.

Yoonwoo slowly rose and gazed at his reflection in the mirror. His hair, disheveled and sticking out in every direction, perfectly mirrored the turmoil within his heart.

He was about to resolve the monumental crisis that had plagued him for weeks, yet his spirits hadn’t merely sunk; they felt as though they had burrowed hundreds of meters deep into the earth.

He yearned to unleash all his fury upon Seowoo, who, of all days, had chosen this one to call and make him listen to his nephew’s voice. It wasn’t Seowoo’s fault, and Seowoo called every day regardless, but Yoonwoo’s mood was simply that wretched.

“Let’s just go out first. Fighting.”

He wasn’t sure what there was to ‘fight’ for, but he clenched his fists in a burst of resolve, only to abandon it, feeling pathetic.

He shuffled out, hailed a taxi, and headed for the hospital, when suddenly, his stomach churned again.

He had been perfectly fine, as if nothing were amiss, yet in this very moment, it struck.

A fierce wave of nausea surged over him, as if proclaiming its presence, making him desperately want to vomit everything he had eaten.

Suddenly, tears gushed forth.

The taxi driver, looking flustered and awkward, glanced at Yoonwoo through the rearview mirror. Fortunately, the driver asked nothing, which was a relief, as Yoonwoo would have struggled to answer why he was crying.

So, he simply sobbed quietly until they arrived at the hospital.

“Student, hang in there. Your patient will get better soon.”

As Yoonwoo paid the fare and stepped out, the driver offered words of comfort to his retreating back. It seemed he assumed Yoonwoo was crying because someone seriously ill was at the general hospital.

Yoonwoo walked towards the hospital building.

He suddenly stopped, lifting his head. The sky was a brilliant blue, without a single cloud. A spring breeze rustled through the bare branches where flowers had long since faded. In the brief heart of spring, the pouring sunlight was dazzling.

No matter what happened in his life, the world remained peacefully unchanged. ‘It’s nothing,’ it seemed to whisper to Yoonwoo in an indifferent voice. ‘Is it really nothing?’ he mumbled into the air, furrowing his brow.

‘Oh, it’s really nothing.’

It felt as if someone had answered with a laugh.

‘But what?’

‘What exactly was nothing?’

He couldn’t discern whether it was the events unfolding within his stomach that were nothing, or the events that would transpire upon his arrival at the hospital.

Yoonwoo, who had always lived a simple and peaceful life, found his head aching from the complicated situation that had dragged on for weeks. The accumulated fatigue and stress, basking in the warm spring sunlight, abruptly burst forth at that very moment.

He wished someone would just tell him the answer.

Even as he cried, he felt like crying more.

A few days prior, Yeon-chae had taken Yoonwoo, who had struggled through midterms, on an outing to a suburban reservoir to celebrate their completion. There, he was abruptly informed of Yoonwoo’s decision regarding the series of events, and he burst into tears on the spot.

He had been fully prepared for this outcome, having repeatedly told himself it was the right decision. Yet, Yoonwoo’s sudden announcement caught him completely off guard, leaving him unable to properly defend himself.

Their eyes met, Yoonwoo’s face filled with worry and apology as he wiped Yeon-chae’s cheek with his bare hand. The feeling in that moment was truly indescribable.

After Yeon-chae had agreed, they found themselves with nothing more to say. He sat quietly opposite Yoonwoo, simply sipping cold tea.

Later, having returned to his officetel alone, he sat silently on the sofa, dedicating time to quiet reflection and self-reproach.

Yoonwoo had become pregnant due to Yeon-chae’s mistake. While it was a significant event for Yeon-chae, for Yoonwoo, it was life-altering.

Despite this, Yoonwoo had expressed his decision not to have the baby, and then, surprisingly, apologized to Yeon-chae.

‘I want to get married someday too. With someone I truly love…’

Until then, Yeon-chae had not considered Yoonwoo’s perspective. The fact that his baby was growing inside Yoonwoo had seemed only miraculous and dreamlike.

He had only thought of comforting and reassuring a frightened, bewildered Yoonwoo, and simply being by his side. He hadn’t realized that what Yoonwoo truly wanted wasn’t necessarily Yeon-chae’s presence.

Yoonwoo had expressed a desire to marry someone he truly loved someday. If not for Yeon-chae, that future would undoubtedly have been his.

On the night his rut had come, if Yeon-chae had been just a little more clear-headed and simply sent Yoonwoo home, Yoonwoo would not have become pregnant.

And if Yoonwoo didn’t have the baby, he could still, at any time, be with ‘the person he truly loved someday.’

Regardless of Yeon-chae’s feelings, Yoonwoo deserved to live the life he desired.

For several days thereafter, Yeon-chae was so ill he couldn’t even rise from bed. He suffered from fever, drenched in cold sweat, and whenever he briefly regained consciousness and opened his eyes, he found himself thinking it was fortunate he was sick.

He wasn’t suggesting that a mere cold and body aches would absolve him of the guilt of crying in front of Yoonwoo, who was about to undergo surgery. However, if he committed a wrong and simply moved on without consequence, the burden on his conscience would grow unbearable.

Yeon-chae pulled the thick duvet over his shivering body, trembling from chills, and regretted his actions for the hundredth time. He wished he could go back to the moment Yoonwoo had announced his decision.

Even if he could return, he still wouldn’t know the right words to say, but at least he knew he shouldn’t have broken down crying.

A groan escaped him involuntarily. Yoonwoo’s voice, saying, ‘Don’t cry, don’t cry,’ with an apologetic tone, echoed incessantly in his ears. ‘How utterly bewildered Yoonwoo must have been internally… Are you the one having surgery, Yeon-chae?’

Therefore, once his cold healed and he was able to get up, Yeon-chae planned to cleanly sever all lingering attachments and feelings for Yoonwoo, and to accompany him through his surgery and recovery process.

After that whole process concluded, could they then return to their former close senior-junior relationship?

‘Would Yoonwoo accept it…?’

He drifted in and out of sleep, pondering such thoughts a thousand times over.

Yeon-chae’s eyes fluttered open to the persistent ringing of a bell. ‘What time is it?’ he wondered, looking around in confusion, noting that it was still bright outside.

He fumbled on the sofa where he’d been sleeping, searching for his phone. Its black screen remained motionless. ‘Was it not the phone ringing?’ he thought, blinking, when the bell rang again. It was the doorbell.

“Who is it?”

It was strange; he wasn’t expecting anyone.

His classmates and various seniors and juniors had repeatedly pestered him to visit his officetel, but he had never invited anyone over. They likely wanted to use his spacious, single-occupancy officetel as a hideout, or simply wished to visit his home.

However, Yeon-chae found it all bothersome; he preferred to draw a clear line between school and home, pushing all his friends to the other side of that boundary.

They were all too boisterous and never seemed to sleep. Yeon-chae disliked staying up until dawn, and he certainly disliked having his naps interrupted like this.

‘Who on earth is it at this hour?’ he thought, glancing irritably at the wall clock. It was 8:30 PM. Not exactly an impolite time to ring someone’s doorbell.

Unable to muster anger, Yeon-chae opened the front door with an uncertain expression.

“Yeon-chae.”

He froze on the spot, his hand still gripping the doorknob.

Yoonwoo appeared to have been crying for a long time. His eyes were moist and swollen, and his cheeks were stained with tear tracks.

Yet, the gaze he directed at Yeon-chae was calm. His voice, though hoarse, held no trace of tears.

Standing opposite Yeon-chae in the officetel corridor, with the open front door between them, Yoonwoo calmly dropped a bombshell.

“I’m going to have the baby. Let’s split the child-rearing expenses fifty-fifty.”

“…”

For Yeon-chae, who cherished his sleep and his privacy, this officetel he lived in alone was his personal sanctuary. No matter how much his friends pestered him, he had never once invited them over.

Then, one day, while attempting to escort a drunken senior from his department home, he inexplicably changed course and brought them to his own place. His life had taken a dramatic turn ever since that night.

‘Why did I do that day?’ he asked himself.

“Why aren’t you answering? You don’t like it…? Then 60-40?”

No matter how many times he asked, there was only one answer.

“What? 70-30? Hey, honestly, you should pay 40. Right?”

Yeon-chae grabbed Yoonwoo’s wrist and pulled him inside the entrance. Yoonwoo stepped over the threshold, moving one foot into the officetel.

“In my opinion,”

“Yes?”

The front door slammed shut behind Yoonwoo. Now, Yoonwoo stood entirely inside the apartment. In the same space, their overlapping time began to flow.

“I think it’s right that I pay for everything.”

“What? Why?”

Yoonwoo frowned, an expression of displeasure on his face, and demanded an explanation. Yeon-chae began to list various reasons, such as the hardships Yoonwoo would face and the difficulties of childbirth, but then stopped, feeling as though he was pretending to know things he didn’t.

There was another reason besides that.

“If I have a baby, child support will be paid out every month in their name.”

“What? How is that possible?”

“My dad set up a fund for me a while ago. He created it, saying he’d take care of his grandchild from the start.”

“What…? Really?”

It was one of the ostentatious gifts that arose from the power struggle between his parents shortly after their divorce. When his mother arranged and gifted Yeon-chae a college tuition and living expenses account in advance, his father, not to be outdone, declared he would take responsibility for Yeon-chae’s child. Yeon-chae had been seven years old at the time.

He had always thought it was absurd, but given the current situation, it seemed his father had possessed foresight. He should probably give him a call, both to check in and to inform him to initiate the child support payments.

“Wow. Your dad is really cool.”

Yoonwoo’s gaze was purely admiring. Though he had spoken confidently, his face brightened, indicating he had secretly been worried about the financial aspect.

Yeon-chae hadn’t mentioned the fund before, fearing it would feel like pressure to have the baby. But seeing how pleased Yoonwoo was, he regretted not having said something sooner.

Feeling a surge of inner pride, Yeon-chae tightened his grip on Yoonwoo’s wrist.