Chapter 47: The Difficult Decision

Yoonwoo abruptly brought up the issue they had been putting off, citing midterms as the reason for the delay.

Yeon-chae had only ever repeated, “I’ll take responsibility,” and “I’ll follow hyung’s wishes,” never explicitly stating his stance on the baby. Yet, his desires were plainly etched across his face, impossible to misinterpret. This left Yoonwoo perpetually questioning, even as he was consumed by studying and exams.

Yeon-chae was only twenty-one. If a baby had suddenly dropped from the sky, the typical response would have been to pressure Yoonwoo into going to the hospital immediately.

“Is this, perhaps, a religious matter?”

“I have no religion.”

“Then do you just really love babies? They’re only cute when you’re watching them from the sidelines, you know. If you actually try to raise one, a hell gate will open.”

Yoonwoo, who occasionally looked after his six-month-old nephew, shook his head emphatically. His nephew, barely able to hold his own body steady, was already boisterous, having inherited a talkative disposition from someone.

‘What on earth do you want?!’

‘Ah… bababa… woong, aah…!’

‘……’

It was merely babbling, and Yoonwoo couldn’t decipher a single word. After a lengthy session of expressing his ‘demands,’ the nephew, seemingly frustrated by Yoonwoo’s bewildered blinking, furrowed his brows and wailed loudly. Yoonwoo felt like crying along with him.

Recalling his nephew, who, despite his angelic beauty, could drive him to distraction within an hour, Yoonwoo let out a deep sigh. It was clear Yeon-chae harbored some fantasy about babies, probably due to being an only child. Yoonwoo, on the other hand, was utterly pragmatic, having spent his entire life dealing with a troublemaking older brother and then his rambunctious twin younger siblings, let alone his nephew.

“It costs an enormous amount of money. What about all the childcare expenses? We’re both students, so who’s going to raise the baby? Even if we do, where would we raise them? Your place? My place? Take turns every day? A baby isn’t a puppy, you know. Even puppies get depressed if you raise them in such a chaotic way.”

“……”

“And I’ve lived my entire life as a Beta. Becoming an Omega overnight was sudden enough, but if I were to have a baby without even a chance to adapt, I think I’d genuinely be overwhelmed. What’s more…”

Yoonwoo, having spewed everything out in one breathless torrent, paused to regain his composure. Yeon-chae remained utterly still, his gaze fixed solely on his jujube tea. His previously flushed cheeks now seemed a shade paler.

Nevertheless, Yoonwoo knew he had to say his piece. This wasn’t a decision to be swayed by a junior’s hopeful pleading.

“I have my own life, and you have yours. You’ll eventually find someone you like… someone will come along, won’t they?”

‘Like Yoon-hyung.’

“What will you do if you want to date and marry someone else in the future? Even if I were to raise the child, how much of a burden would it be for… for *that person* if they knew I had a child?”

‘Someone like Yoon-hyung.’

“……You could permanently miss the chance to marry someone you truly love, all because I became pregnant. That shouldn’t happen.”

He was only twenty-one. Such a burden was too cruel and immense for Yeon-chae. No matter how much Yeon-chae desired it, Yoonwoo had to dissuade him.

Yet, the twenty-one-year-old was as stubborn as a puppy, refusing to listen. Yeon-chae darted a sulky glance at Yoonwoo, his soft cheeks instantly puffing up like steamed milk buns.

“There’s no such person.”

“Hm?”

“I won’t date or marry anyone else. I’m not interested.”

“What?”

What was this little brat talking about? Yoonwoo, who had been indulging in a rare moment of sentimentality, was abruptly jolted back to reality as if doused with cold water, utterly bewildered. The memory of Yeon-chae sobbing and calling out “Yoon-hyung” as Yoonwoo fled his officetel was still vivid, yet here he was, so adamantly declaring, “There’s no one else.” It felt like dealing with a three-year-old who would say anything to assert their point. In a surge of irritation, Yoonwoo nearly shouted, “Then what about Yoon-hyung?!” but managed to hold back.

The best strategy, he decided, was to counter such dismissive words with equally dismissive ones.

“Just because you’re not interested, does that settle it? What about me? I want to get married someday too! To someone I love…”

Someone he loved.

He had not been without the occasional thought that Yeon-chae could be that person. With a sense of displeasure, Yoonwoo reflected on the past year. Images of Yeon-chae at the beach during the summer MT, Yeon-chae visiting Tongyeong, and Yeon-chae arriving at Yoonwoo’s café with a bouquet and chocolates on Christmas Eve flashed before his eyes. In every one of those moments, things had gone awry between them. It was then that Yoonwoo had learned that not everything one waited for would arrive as expected. But now, to have Yeon-chae’s baby inside him? There was no rhyme or reason to life at all.

Unexpectedly, those words seemed to strike a decisive blow, for the corners of Yeon-chae’s long eyes trembled. ‘Yes, you agree with me, don’t you?’ Yoonwoo thought. It must have been an undeniable argument. Feeling a surge of pride that he had finally won, Yoonwoo waited for Yeon-chae’s answer with a sense of relief.

“……”

“……”

“……”

“……Yeon-chae? Are you crying?”

And he had made Yeon-chae cry.

‘I feel like I’m raising a child, and I haven’t even given birth yet…’

Yeon-chae silently shed tears, one after another. Yoonwoo, growing increasingly restless, eventually moved to sit beside him. Even as he gently wiped Yeon-chae’s cheeks with his fingers, the tears flowed ceaselessly. It was only after his eyes had swollen considerably, and a few more sniffles escaped him, that Yeon-chae finally stopped crying.

“I understand.”

“Huh?”

Tears clinging to his long eyelashes fell in quick succession. The last drops trickled from his chin. As Yoonwoo stared blankly at Yeon-chae’s wet cheeks and reddened eyes, Yeon-chae replied, his voice tight and choked.

“Do as you wish. Let’s make an appointment and go to the hospital together.”

“Oh… Really?”

“Yes.”

Yeon-chae, lips pressed firmly together, nodded repeatedly. While Yoonwoo felt a sense of relief, he also couldn’t help but feel a pang of pity for Yeon-chae. Still, Yoonwoo believed this was the correct decision. It was better for both of them to take responsibility for the consequences of their mistake and resolve it cleanly.

“Alright. I’ll let you know once the time is set.”

“Yes.”

Yeon-chae offered no further words. Yoonwoo, having nothing more to add himself, sat quietly and drank his now-cold ginger tea. If he were to offer comfort, Yoonwoo was the one who was pregnant, and yet, to scold Yeon-chae for crying felt impossible, given how pitiful Yeon-chae looked with his swollen, tear-filled eyes.

That day passed. It was around the time when the last cherry blossoms had fallen, and fresh, vibrant green leaves were beginning to unfurl on the branches.

The surgery was scheduled.

After hanging up the call for the appointment, Yoonwoo stared blankly at his phone, lost in thought for a long time. Ultimately, however, he couldn’t bring himself to contact Yeon-chae. He simply didn’t have the heart to drag the boy, whose large eyes had been brimming with tears as he agreed to go, all the way to the operating room.

‘Ah, we caused this mess together, so why am I the only one left to clean it up?’ He lamented, clutching his innocent phone. After a moment, he concluded that the senior – himself – who had pushed away his junior, Yeon-chae, telling him to leave, yet then, stubbornly resisting, had ended up on top of him during the rut, bore more responsibility than the junior who had lost his mind in the throes of it. ‘So, I’ll just go alone.’ Yoonwoo thought with a complicated mix of feelings. He was also afraid that Yeon-chae would be sitting alone in the waiting room outside the operating room, sobbing uncontrollably.

A few days later, as he lay alone in his empty house, awaiting his afternoon surgery appointment, a call came from Seowoo. Seowoo, currently on parental leave, would call whenever he was bored and put his nephew on the phone with Yoonwoo. Though it was bewildering what kind of conversation he was supposed to have with a baby who couldn’t even properly say “Daddy,” Yoonwoo often lost track of time, captivated by his cute nephew’s face during video calls.

Today, however, his mood was far from good. Yoonwoo ignored the call, but the phone rang persistently, refusing to give up. Eventually, with a lukewarm sigh, he reluctantly answered.

“What?”

–What are you doing? Want to come over? The house is empty, so bring the twins later, and we can all have dinner and stay the night.

“What? Why is the house empty?”

–Sihyung went on a business trip. He won’t be back today.

Even though ‘business trip’ meant he’d be back tomorrow, Seowoo’s tone was sullen when he said, “He won’t be back today.” ‘He sees him twenty-four hours a day; can he really be that heartbroken from not seeing him for just one day?’ Yoonwoo thought, dumbfounded, which earned him a grumbling retort.

–I’m on leave, you know. I don’t get to see him twenty-four hours a day these days.

Seowoo, an office couple with Sihyung, hadn’t even wanted to take parental leave, but his husband, who was also his boss, had assigned him mandatory time off. Despite it being parental leave, the baby was looked after by a babysitter, meaning Seowoo only had to eat well and rest. Yet, he complained endlessly about not seeing Sihyung much because of the leave.

Yoonwoo grew irritated with his hyung, who kept spouting such privileged complaints.

“Not today. I’ll just send the kids.”

He replied, estimating when the twins would finish school. If he told his younger siblings to skip evening self-study and head straight to Seowoo’s newlywed home, they could probably arrive around dinner time. He planned to return from the hospital, order a pizza, and then get a good, long sleep. Once he woke up, he would completely forget all the recent events and return to his normal daily life.

–Why? Going to your part-time job? Quit that. I told you I’d give you an allowance.

Seowoo, who had married into a chaebol family as the heir to a large corporation, boasted loudly. Yoonwoo, having grown up in a capitalist society with a firm grasp of ownership, had no intention of accepting his hyung’s money, let alone his hyung’s husband’s. Yoonwoo replied indifferently.

“You spend it. Raising a child costs a lot of money, doesn’t it?”

–Hey, Sihyung earns well.

“You should contribute too. Don’t spend it all on yourself without putting a single penny towards living expenses.”

He knew, accurately, that Seowoo contributed to their parents’ living expenses, but the words still came out twisted. It was probably because he had been in a foul mood all morning. Even though he pretended otherwise, the afternoon surgery must have been weighing on his mind.

He spoke provocatively, but inwardly, he worried and watched for a reaction. However, Seowoo on the other end of the phone seemed not to have heard a word, cheerfully changing the subject.

–Want to talk to the baby?

“……No.”

–Wait a second. Eun-hyung, say hello to Uncle.

“……”

Yoonwoo simply hung up the phone.