Chapter 78: The Aftermath of a Dream

Yoonwoo moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue. He carefully chose his words, but he couldn’t help the faint tremor at the end of his voice.

“So, let’s just pretend that day never happened between us.”

Yoonwoo no longer wanted to torment each other with his own premature emotions.

Yeon-chae remained silent for a long time. He seemed lost in thought, and Yoonwoo sensed a melancholic air about him. Yoonwoo simply waited, knowing there was nothing else he could do.

Yeon-chae slowly lifted his downcast eyes to look at Yoonwoo. His clear, light brown pupils rippled like faint waves. However, the subtle agitation quickly subsided, leaving no emotion in their wake.

“Alright.”

His gaze, meeting Yoonwoo’s, was calm. His eyes were already dry. At Yeon-chae’s composed and ordinary reply, Yoonwoo felt a pang of disappointment, despite having been the one to propose it.

Still, he made an effort to shake off the complicated thoughts swirling in his mind, deliberately raising his voice.

“You promised. No going back on your word later, no avoiding me or running away.”

As Yoonwoo subtly blamed him for his actions over the past few days, Yeon-chae offered a faint smile. The corners of his lips curled upward, forming a gentle, elusive grin. Yoonwoo was glad to see him smile after so long.

A hollow feeling, as if his chest had been pierced, settled within him, but he deliberately ignored it and smiled back at Yeon-chae.

Just like that, their daily lives resumed.

It rained on the day they returned from their honeymoon.

Yeon-chae gazed at the Seoul nightscape unfurling beneath the window. It felt as though a dream, spanning nearly two weeks, was ending, and he was returning to reality. That dream hadn’t been entirely happy, but it was nothing compared to the reality he was about to confront.

In the seat beside him, Yoonwoo was asleep. Since hearing the news of his pregnancy, Yoonwoo and Yeon-chae had been inseparable. However, this trip marked the first time they had spent twenty-four hours a day in the same space.

Every day with Yoonwoo had been far better than Yeon-chae expected, his heart trembling to the point of suffocation. Yet, the rut had been the turning point, plunging Yeon-chae to the depths of despair.

Yeon-chae had believed he could suppress his desires.

Yoonwoo had lived his entire life as a Beta. He had consistently shown resistance to the sudden manifestation of his secondary gender and the resulting pregnancy. His decision to carry the child to term and even agree to marriage was nothing short of a miracle.

It seemed he had half-heartedly consented, perhaps out of resignation, because Yeon-chae had been so persistently clingy. Nevertheless, Yeon-chae was content with even that.

They held a wedding. Even if he couldn’t win Yoonwoo’s heart, they could always be together. For a sixteen-year-long unrequited love, this felt like a reasonably good ending.

If only it had ended like a fairy tale, with “they lived happily ever after.” But in the real world, a post-happy ending unfolded. The subsequent chapters were far from beautiful.

A sudden rut had arrived, and Yeon-chae had touched Yoonwoo under the guise of needing a suppressant. A relationship where hearts weren’t aligned proved to be both ecstatic and agonizing.

Once greed had sprouted, it grew without end. Every glance, every gesture from Yoonwoo, made his heart race first, followed by a flush of heat throughout his body. The only way to conceal his overly powerful emotions was to avoid Yoonwoo entirely.

Yeon-chae constantly stayed out. With nowhere else to go but the pool or the sea, he found himself diving into the water more frequently. Despite his efforts to hide it, Yoonwoo seemed to notice Yeon-chae’s change.

Yeon-chae flinched whenever their eyes met, making it impossible for Yoonwoo, no matter how oblivious he might be, not to realize how Yeon-chae looked at him.

After enduring this for several days, Yoonwoo finally erupted. Yeon-chae was dragged by Yoonwoo and sat before him like a criminal. ‘What if he asks for a divorce?’ His vision swam with dread.

‘Are you going to live your whole life with me without speaking? Do you have that many complaints about me?’

Yoonwoo had subtly told him to get a grip.

Yeon-chae protested, asking how Yoonwoo could be so unaffected. Yet, his defiance against Yoonwoo didn’t last long. Yoonwoo told his legal husband, who constantly eyed him with burning desire, to forget the nights they had shared.

Yeon-chae complied without resistance. He simply had no other choice.

That night, beside Yoonwoo, who had turned his back and fallen asleep, Yeon-chae swallowed his tears. He couldn’t let any sound of his crying escape.

A few days after their return, the new semester began.

Yoonwoo had taken a leave of absence. His due date was perilously close to the final exam period, and he didn’t feel confident attending school with a swollen belly.

On the first day of the semester, Yeon-chae stood alone by the entrance, looking crestfallen. He seemed to feel a void, heading to class without Yoonwoo, who was always by his side.

Seeing his ‘junior’ Yeon-chae’s face after so long, Yoonwoo was delighted and pulled him into a tight hug. Yeon-chae squirmed in Yoonwoo’s embrace, awkwardly bent at the waist.

Yoonwoo resumed his part-time job at Jungseo’s café. Yeon-chae was reluctant, but eventually acquiesced when Yoonwoo explained he didn’t want to laze around at home alone for months.

Instead, Yoonwoo agreed to work only for a few hours a day, typically when Jungseo was out running errands.

Yoonwoo primarily worked in the afternoons. When he woke up late, Yeon-chae would have already prepared his breakfast-lunch and departed for school. By the time Yoonwoo left the café after his shift, it was already evening.

Around that time, Yeon-chae appeared somewhat melancholic and lacked energy. He, who was always brimming with vitality, now seemed to be wilting. He had also lost a considerable amount of weight, making his jawline sharper than before.

His gaunt face even looked forlorn. Yoonwoo felt a pang of concern, yet his heart, oblivious to the situation, pounded whenever he faced Yeon-chae.

One day, as he was about to leave the café after finishing work, it began to rain. It was a sudden downpour.

Jungseo also had an engagement and couldn’t come to work, and Yoonwoo wasn’t feeling well enough to handle the evening shift. Thus, Yoonwoo decided to close early and leave.

The morning weather forecast had predicted clear, hot weather. With no rain expected, he hadn’t brought an umbrella, and there were no spares at the café.

The distance was too awkward to call a taxi. Staring at the torrential downpour, Yoonwoo watched the rain with a blank expression from under the eaves. It looked as though a hole had ripped open in the sky. Fierce rain lashed loudly against the ground.

Just then, his phone vibrated in his hand.

[Where are you?]

It was Yeon-chae. Yoonwoo inadvertently chuckled, then, feeling self-conscious, awkwardly let the corners of his mouth drop. Yeon-chae should still be in class.

[Ccaafé]

His fingers were so rushed that he kept making typos. He felt pathetic realizing only after sending it that he couldn’t even type two simple characters correctly.

After the trip, Yoonwoo had grown to like Yeon-chae even more, and his emotions became slightly harder to bear. It showed in these small ways.

Time crawled as he stared intently at the screen, waiting. It felt like fifteen minutes had passed. But when a reply arrived and he checked the timestamp, it had only been a minute.

[It’s raining heavily. Do you have an umbrella?]

‘No, I don’t have an umbrella.’

‘Can’t you come pick me up?’

Even though he had words he wanted to say, his fingers wouldn’t move readily. Meanwhile, Yeon-chae’s messages continued to come in.

[You don’t?]

[Hyung? Are you seeing this?]

‘If I say no, will you come?’

[Yoonwoo Hyung?]

Yoonwoo crouched down where he stood. The person offering the rice cakes wasn’t even thinking about it, yet just seeing “Do you have an umbrella?” filled him with expectation.

He felt he would be quite sad if Yeon-chae didn’t come. When had Yeon-chae ever said he would come? It was clear his baseless hopes would be shattered, so he couldn’t reply.

[Hyung. Why aren’t you answering?]

‘My heart keeps racing on its own, Yeon-chae.’

‘Is a reply the problem right now…?’

Frustration mounting, he clutched his phone. Burying his face in his knees, still crouched, a sigh escaped him naturally. It was because of what had happened a few days prior.

Even after returning from their trip, Yeon-chae and Yoonwoo continued to share a single bed. Since the adults had provided all the furniture and appliances, there was only one bed.

Yeon-chae had offered to sleep on the sofa, just as he had on their wedding night, but Yoonwoo couldn’t let that lanky boy curl up on the sofa indefinitely. Besides, the bed was spacious enough for them to sleep far apart.

“Let’s just sleep together here. We did it consistently at the resort, so why be so awkward now?”

Only after Yoonwoo casually patted the spot beside him did Yeon-chae climb onto the bed. His face was tense, clearly ill at ease.

Whenever they went to bed, Yeon-chae would lie pressed against the very edge of the mattress. Yoonwoo wanted to chide him, telling him he’d fall off if he slept like that, but the words always caught in his throat.

He understood why Yeon-chae might reject him in such a way. Still, Yeon-chae’s demeanor felt incredibly disheartening. There were times Yoonwoo had cried softly to himself, facing away, until he drifted off to sleep.

He even thought it might be better to buy another single bed so they could sleep separately.

Then, a few days ago, he had fallen asleep early in the evening and woken up at dawn.

It was before sunrise. Everything was pitch black. Yet, he knew from the warmth against him: Yoonwoo was nestled in Yeon-chae’s embrace.

When he felt the firm arms wrapped around him and his cheek resting against a broad chest, his heart pounded as if it would burst. It was no wonder he couldn’t fall back asleep.

Yoonwoo remained perfectly still. He figured Yeon-chae had merely embraced him in his sleep and would be disgusted upon waking. Still, he wanted to stay like that a little longer.

Holding his breath lest Yeon-chae stir, he fought the urge to squirm and kept his eyes wide open. He longed to see Yeon-chae’s sleeping face, but the darkness rendered it impossible. Yoonwoo could only lament this before inadvertently drifting back to sleep.

When he awoke the next day, Yeon-chae was gone. The spot beside him was already cold. The warmth he’d felt at dawn seemed like a dream.

Since that day, Yoonwoo hadn’t been able to sleep deeply. Every time he heard Yeon-chae’s sleeping breaths, a sharp ache pierced his chest.

“I can’t live like this, really…”

He felt he wouldn’t live out his natural lifespan at this rate.

“Why can’t you live? Is that why you didn’t reply?”

“Huh?”

A familiar voice sounded in his ear.