Chapter 46: Midnight Kimbap and Unspoken Fears

Yoonwoo felt unnecessarily dejected, his steps heavy as he trudged down to the cafeteria. He bought a roasted egg and a triangle kimbap, but by the time he returned, his appetite had vanished. Forcing himself to take a bite, he tried to focus on his textbooks again. However, concentration utterly eluded him.

Even when he was engrossed in exam studies, forgetting everything else, these sudden reminders of his situation would leave him restless, unable to focus on anything. Yeon-chae still hadn’t pressed him about it. However, he knew he couldn’t pretend indefinitely about what was happening inside him.

Yoonwoo lifted a hand, gently touching his stomach. He felt nothing; it was still perfectly flat. His current condition was so good, it felt as if the struggles of not eating or sleeping had been nothing but a dream. Because of this, he kept forgetting the pea-sized life growing inside him.

‘What should I do? What should I do about you?’

Yoonwoo gazed down at his stomach, then sighed. How simple his life had been just a short while ago, when all he had to worry about were his grades and part-time jobs. He yearned intensely for the modest, carefree existence he’d led barely a month prior.

No matter which path he chose, Yoonwoo’s life would never revert to its former simplicity. He had always imagined a normal life: getting a job, dating, marrying, having children, buying a house, and struggling under the weight of a mortgage. He never expected to skip all the intermediate steps and be contemplating whether or not to bring a baby into the world, with the baby already a part of his life.

And to top it all off, he was the one carrying the child. The thought was still utterly unbelievable. ‘How can a Beta get pregnant?’ Yoonwoo lamented, often forgetting that he had presented as an Omega. His nose stung, and a film of tears gathered in his eyes.

As he was about to wallow in self-pity in the central library’s reading room at 2 AM, Yeon-chae suddenly shot up.

“Oh? You’re awake?”

Yeon-chae’s gaze, still hazy with sleep and with one cheek imprinted by a book, landed on the half-eaten roasted egg and triangle kimbap wrapper in front of Yoonwoo. The food, barely touched, was discarded carelessly. With swollen, sleep-deprived eyes, Yeon-chae glared at it, his sharp gaze hinting at something unusual. Then, his neat, handsome brow furrowed sharply.

“Wh-why?”

Yeon-chae’s unexpected forcefulness made Yoonwoo stammer inadvertently. Yeon-chae gathered the scattered books and notes on the table, then approached and even tidied Yoonwoo’s spot. He swiftly tossed the remaining triangle kimbap and roasted egg into the trash can in the corner of the reading room. It was a perfect shot, landing squarely inside without missing. Yoonwoo, dumbfounded, asked, “Yeon-chae? What are you doing?”

“We’re going home.”

“Uh, but why are you packing my books too?”

His wrist was suddenly seized, the tears that had been welling up instantly receding in surprise. Yoonwoo found himself being dragged out by Yeon-chae, who had slung both backpacks over one shoulder.

“Where are we going? Huh?”

He asked as he got into Yeon-chae’s car in the parking lot, and after a long hesitation, a grumbling voice finally replied.

“My place.”

‘Whose place? Our place?’

Without preamble, they arrived at Yeon-chae’s officetel, enduring the biting pre-dawn air. Yeon-chae settled the still-bewildered Yoonwoo onto the sofa. A continuous clattering sound emanated from the kitchen, suggesting Yeon-chae was moving busily. Yoonwoo wondered if this was some unexpected midnight exercise.

Amidst all this, a savory, delicious aroma wafted through the air, making his mouth water. This wasn’t just any savory smell; it was undeniably the scent of sizzling pork belly cooking on a grill. Yoonwoo glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 3 AM.

‘If he’s grilling pork belly at this hour, won’t the neighbors complain?’

Unable to resist, Yoonwoo eventually approached the kitchen and peered inside. Yeon-chae, with a determined expression, was holding a bamboo rolling mat. Yoonwoo’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Yeon-chae?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you cooking at 3 AM?”

“You’re hungry, hyung.”

“I’m fine now. I had that triangle kimbap earlier.”

Though he’d barely eaten a few bites before Yeon-chae confiscated it and consigned it to the trash, it had somewhat curbed his hunger. He truly was fine. However, Yeon-chae’s expression was inexplicably stern, making Yoonwoo mumble and watch him cautiously. ‘Why did the gentle Yeon-chae suddenly get upset after sleeping so soundly…?’

“Can’t you study here starting tomorrow?”

Yeon-chae, who had quickly rolled four lines of pork belly kimbap, presented a plate to Yoonwoo and asked. With a bewildered expression, Yoonwoo alternated glances between the kimbap and Yeon-chae, his mind drifting to other thoughts. ‘Why does he have all these kimbap ingredients in his fridge? And Yeon-chae’s kimbap looks incredibly familiar. Why…?’

“Ah, come on, hyung.”

His trailing suspicions were cut short by Yeon-chae’s voice, which stretched out his words as if urging him. Yeon-chae’s handsome face was slightly downcast. Yoonwoo calmly tried to make sense of the situation.

“So.”

“Yes.”

“You mean you’ll make kimbap for me, so I shouldn’t buy triangle kimbap, and instead study comfortably here?”

“Exactly.”

Yeon-chae nodded repeatedly, his face brightening as if they had finally understood each other. A hollow laugh escaped Yoonwoo.

He was enjoying such luxury simply because of a mutual mistake (though, truly, it was Yoonwoo’s mistake) that led to his pregnancy. It felt both absurd and burdensome, yet the situation was also a little comical. Oh Yeon-chae, who had suddenly woken up from sleeping sprawled in the library at 2 AM, only to drag him home and make kimbap. Even amidst all this, Yeon-chae’s eyes, filled with expectation, looked down at him, curious about Yoonwoo’s reaction.

“It’s delicious.”

He offered his assessment after popping a kimbap roll into his mouth. It contained his favorite pork belly and even well-squeezed aged kimchi. Only then did he remember why he had felt a sense of déjà vu. It looked remarkably similar to the pork belly kimbap Yeon-chae used to buy for him last year. Though, most kimbap rolls did look pretty much the same.

“The aged kimchi really makes it delicious.”

“Right? Originally, I just put in pork belly, but my mom recommended aged kimchi, saying it balances the richness and adds freshness.”

“Your mother? Your mother must be a good cook.”

“No, she can’t cook… but she has a picky palate and is very serious about food.”

“Oh, really? Haha… Still, thanks to your mother, it’s truly delicious.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

The face that had been sulking just five minutes ago brightened considerably, and Yeon-chae smiled shyly. Yoonwoo found himself inadvertently smiling along. It was impossible not to smile back when met with such a radiant grin.

However, that smile now troubled him.

“Just because you do this doesn’t mean I’m going to have the baby.”

He finally closed his eyes and poured cold water on the mood. Yeon-chae instantly stopped smiling. His wide-eyed gaze at Yoonwoo seemed both surprised and wronged, his lower lip protruding in a pout.

“I know. I’m not thinking that.”

“Then what is it?”

“Just because.”

“Just, what?”

“You usually just eat triangle kimbap and cup noodles for meals, hyung.”

“Huh?”

“I just want you to eat well and be healthy.”

“Oh…”

‘What’s wrong with convenience store triangle kimbap and cup noodles? They’re beloved by the whole nation; why discriminate?’

An awkward retort lingered unspoken in his mouth. Still, since Yeon-chae wasn’t entirely wrong, Yoonwoo simply focused on diligently eating the pork belly and aged kimchi kimbap Yeon-chae had made. Yeon-chae, with his handsome face, good physique, and seemingly no flaws, was also an excellent cook.

“Is it delicious?”

“Yeah. It is delicious…”

“Tomorrow night, I’ll make you kimbap-jeon.”

“Kimbap-jeon? What’s that?”

“It’s kimbap made into a pancake. You’ll probably faint when you try it, hyung.”

“Really? You can make that too?”

With a confident expression, Yeon-chae tempted Yoonwoo, mentioning fascinating dishes. Even while eating kimbap, Yoonwoo’s mouth watered.

He somehow managed to endure the long mid-term exam period. When he emerged after his last exam, his face and clothes were grimy, so he snatched the cap from Yeon-chae, who was walking beside him, and pulled it low. Despite having his cap taken, Yeon-chae’s hair, full and free of any indentations, fluttered lightly in the breeze. His clean, bright face looked down at Yoonwoo and asked with a cheerful innocence.

“Did you do well on the exam, hyung?”

‘No, I didn’t.’

Yoonwoo had struggled with Yeon-chae’s notes until the late hours, only getting a brief moment of sleep before the exam. Yet, Yeon-chae, who had merely snored peacefully on the sofa all night, was the only one who seemed to have aced it. ‘How could the world be so unfair…?’

“So, now that exams are over, how about it?”

“Huh?”

‘How about what?’ Too busy wallowing in his gloom, Yoonwoo missed Yeon-chae’s continuous chatter. It probably wasn’t anything important, but he still felt bad admitting he hadn’t been listening. Yoonwoo hesitated, then nodded.

“Uh, right.”

“Then shall we go now? You don’t have your part-time job today, right?”

“Huh?”

Yeon-chae abruptly grabbed the sleeve of Yoonwoo’s jacket. As he was dragged along by an excited Yeon-chae towards the parking lot, Yoonwoo thought with a touch of self-pity.

‘I feel like I’m constantly being swayed by him. At this rate, I’ll wake up and find myself having the baby.’

That day, to celebrate the end of exams, they spent the entire day driving around in Yeon-chae’s car, exploring and having fun.

He turned on the seat warmer in the passenger seat next to Yeon-chae, took a warm, deep nap, and woke up to find themselves at a suburban reservoir. They enjoyed a full course of raw galbi hanjeongsik at a picturesque hanok restaurant overlooking the river, sipping ginger tea for dessert. The entire world seemed beautiful.

‘This is what life is about,’ Yoonwoo thought, gazing out the window with touched eyes, having never experienced such a life in his twenty-three years.

“But, Yeon-chae.”

He addressed Yeon-chae’s picturesque face, as Yeon-chae sat upright, quietly sipping jujube tea. Ever since the day Yeon-chae had been unexpectedly scolded for drinking americano, he had completely given up coffee. There was no need to go to such extremes as only drinking ginger tea or jujube tea, but Yeon-chae was a bit drastic.

“Why do you want me to have the baby? Aren’t you scared?”

“…Suddenly?”