Chapter 82: The Weight of a Confession

Wade felt his professional career was facing a severe challenge. Indeed, within the Knights, if one were to speak of who was responsible for ‘psychological counseling,’ it would undoubtedly be Valen, the Vice-Commander. He possessed a certain ‘commissar-like’ aura, while the Grand Commander handled more administrative duties. Wade’s own position was specifically to assist the Grand Commander.

However, when Valen was on external missions or too preoccupied with other matters, Wade would often step in. Thus, at times, Wade found himself counseling knights burdened by stress, grappling with unresolved issues, or experiencing emotional difficulties.

Wade’s smile was quite amiable, and coupled with his usual role in organizing various welfare activities, the knights held him in high regard. Typically, when Wade intervened, the knights would heed his words, making it a simple task to guide them.

Consequently, Wade considered himself someone capable of explaining things with clarity—until he encountered Lamia. She was… a creature with an unconventional way of thinking.

Yes, it was truly impossible to expect her thought processes to be normal, considering she wasn’t even human.

Yet… what had she just said? What exactly had she just exclaimed?

Overwhelmed by sudden shock, Wade had forgotten the precise string of words Lamia had blurted out. He only remembered her ultimately asking him to choose.

No… why would such a question even arise? Was this meant to be a test of his patience?

‘Had Lilith taught her this?’

Wade cast a sidelong glance at Lilith beside him. However, from her curious gaze, it seemed this ill-conceived idea hadn’t originated from her.

‘Could Lamia have thought of it herself?’

Indeed, given her unique mental circuitry, such a peculiar notion was entirely plausible.

[I wonder what the White Knight thinks… What place do I hold in his heart?]

[Will I be more important than those things that sound incredibly significant?]

[After all, we are meant to be a loving couple. Others say that being an adoring spouse proves one is the most important person in another’s heart!]

[If my existence can truly overshadow all those other, more important matters, then it proves the White Knight is truly captivated by me, right?]

As Wade pondered how to respond to these thoughts, Lamia’s own musings continued, drilling into his mind one after another.

Why did she care so intensely about such things?

She didn’t even know the meaning of ‘like,’ yet she constantly worried about whether others liked her.

****

Wade parted his lips as if to speak. He yearned to tell Lamia that true affection required a solid foundation, that she needed to grasp the concepts of ‘like’ and ‘love.’

However, he merely opened his mouth, then closed it again.

Wade’s emotions felt peculiar, at least from his own rational perspective. They were decidedly strange.

Logically, he should clearly articulate what true affection entailed. Lamia’s questions, akin to an unreasonable outburst, wouldn’t yield any useful answers.

Yet, to voice those words directly would surely be hurtful.

Lamia’s current expression still held a glimmer of anticipation.

Was it the hot coffee? Lamia’s cheeks were flushed, and they were so close he could even hear the soft sound of her breathing.

She was agitated, excited, and eagerly awaiting Wade’s reply.

Such a reaction undeniably indicated her hopeful expectation.

If he were to tell Lamia right now that she fundamentally didn’t understand the meaning behind her questions, would Lamia—

Would she be… sad?

Would she feel disappointed?

Would she be… unhappy?

‘What a contradiction, wouldn’t you agree, great White Knight?’

He had always sought to teach Lamia about emotions, always believed her to be a demon utterly devoid of feeling. Yet, here he was, concerned about whether she would be hurt or saddened.

She truly shouldn’t understand, neither positive nor negative emotions. She should comprehend none of them.

But the mere thought of Lamia’s lips drooping, her brows furrowing, her rosy cheeks fading to a stark pallor… made Wade feel a distinct discomfort deep within his heart.

‘This emotion is truly contradictory, isn’t it?’

“I think…”

Wade pursed his lips once more. It was evident that his emotions were quite tense today.

He hadn’t been this nervous even during his first interview when he initially reported to the Knights.

Now, however, gazing at Lamia’s expectant expression, he was anxious about what answer he should possibly give.

‘Should he deceive her? Should he utter a lie? Should he speak words that would simply please Lamia?’

“I believe… Lamia, for me, nothing is more important than you. Those ‘more important things’ you speak of, at their core, are to me… you. So this is entirely a single-choice question. Regardless of anything—I will always choose you.”

‘Was that a lie?’

As Wade spoke these words, his heart seemed to pound wildly.

His heart hadn’t raced like this even during their last kiss.

Perhaps that time, it was the physical intimacy, the sudden surge of certainty that seemed to settle everything. But this time? This time, he had merely spoken a few simple sentences. What was his heart doing, thrumming so fiercely?

Haah…

Haah…!

Only after uttering those words did he realize their sheer embarrassment. Wade, who typically maintained a composed expression even when inwardly agitated, finally couldn’t remain still. He instinctively raised a hand, covering his thoroughly flushed face.

‘Those words were practically a confession, weren’t they? A raw, undisguised declaration.’

He felt he was essentially just stating a somewhat exaggerated fact. Yet, it sounded rather delicate.

“In any case, in any case…”

His heart hammered, its frantic rhythm seemingly drowning out Lamia’s inner voice. He no longer knew what Lamia was thinking. He simply covered his face with his large hand, closed his eyes, and furrowed his brows in a gesture of evasion.

“So that’s how it is, Lamia… After all, you are my wife, and naturally… the most important.”

‘What am I saying?’

‘What am I saying to a demon?’

‘It’s merely a performance; did I need to go to such lengths?’

But then—

Wade cautiously opened his eyes, glancing towards Lamia.

Lamia’s heart was silent.

Yet—

“Ah…”

Her face was red.

Red, like her crimson eyes.

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