Chapter 12: The Echo of Sin

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On the day of the appointment, Emil left the church after lunch.

For days, he had mulled over the old nun’s words after her severe scolding, yet no answer presented itself, no matter how deeply he pondered.

‘What truly constitutes a sin?’ he wondered. ‘If those with supernatural abilities are born with their powers, does that mean they are cursed from birth?’

‘If so, why did the Savior descend upon this earth? Did He, from the very beginning, despise and curse those with abilities, never even contemplating their salvation?’

No matter how much he wrestled with the questions, his mind yielded no conclusion.

Emil considered seeking out the Priest to confide his troubles, but the fear of being deemed impious and hearing the same condemnation as from the nun prevented him.

Emil deliberately avoided the gaze of the church members, cautiously making his way into the village.

He worried the nuns would look upon him with suspicion if they saw him.

He aimlessly wandered through the village for a while before heading towards his mother’s house.

A pang of guilt struck him, but it felt stranger still to reside in the same village without even checking in on her.

On his way to his mother’s house, he encountered many villagers.

They all greeted him warmly, welcoming Emil with open arms.

Their hospitality still felt unfamiliar to him, yet Emil managed to return their smiles and greetings.

There was a time when he had vowed never to forgive them, but whether for better or worse, the embers of his hatred had long since died out.

Lauren’s house stood with its door firmly shut.

This was unusual, as she typically left it open during the day to bask in the sunlight.

“Oh dear…”

He pulled hard on the door, but it remained stubbornly closed. It seemed to be locked from the inside.

‘Surely, she wouldn’t still be asleep at this hour,’ he thought.

Just as Emil, feeling puzzled, was about to call out to his mother again,

“Ahhh!”

A woman’s moans of pleasure drifted from within the house.

Emil’s body, still gripping the doorknob, froze instantly.

A string of suggestive groans followed in quick succession. Interspersed with these, a man’s voice could also be heard.

Though not distinct, it sounded like a guttural growl, almost animalistic.

Emil had never once engaged in such an act, yet he knew precisely what it was: the coupling between a man and a woman.

He had been taught it was a beautiful act. Among his seminary peers, some had entered at a later age, having experienced intimacy early in life.

Emil, brimming with youthful curiosity, had wished to learn about the sensation through their stories. However, the individuals themselves deeply regretted their past lack of purity and spoke little of it.

The woman’s voice sounded as if she were gasping for breath.

At first, it might have been mistaken for a cry of extreme terror. Yet, Emil recognized the profound pleasure hidden within those almost-breaking moans.

Though he had never experienced it, he knew it was not a sound born of fear or agony.

“Ahhh, slow-ly, huff! Stop, ahh, yes, more, more, more…!”

The woman cried out for even greater ecstasy. Hearing her voice chase climax, Emil could bear it no longer.

He fled back the way he had come, running as if for his life. The woman’s voice seemed to pursue him like a phantom echo.

Emil ran at full speed until his mother’s house was no longer in sight.

He was oblivious to the ache in his legs or the burning in his lungs. Only when the path leading back to the village became visible did he finally stop, panting and gasping for air.

“Hah, hah, hah, haaah… phew.”

The piercing moans kept ringing in his ears. Emil shook his head wildly, slapping his own cheeks repeatedly.

To recall that voice was impurity, an act of moral depravity.

It was his own fault for visiting his mother without prior notice. She had her own life to live.

Lauren loved her son, but with Emil having left the seminary years ago, she was now alone, and it was right to respect her privacy.

Emil ceaselessly recited hymns and Bible verses, once again wandering aimlessly.

“Emil, what are you doing?”

“Just taking a walk.”

“Then, could I ask a favor of you?”

It was the man who raised the most chickens in the village. He handed Emil a basket of gleaming, fresh eggs.

“Here, could you take these to the church?”

“What are these for?”

“Last time I saw the Priest, his complexion wasn’t good at all. The nuns have been coughing a lot too. Lately, they all seem to be feeling unwell. I can’t help but think their food might be lacking.”

“Ah.”

The church’s food wasn’t particularly poor. Separately, Emil had also noticed that the Priest’s complexion had worsened considerably of late.

The Priest tried hard not to show it, but it was poorly concealed, noticeable even to those sitting far away during mass.

When Emil didn’t immediately take the basket, the man who offered the eggs asked cautiously,

“Would it be a problem if I offered these? They always pray for us, so I just want to show my gratitude somehow.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. It’s no problem at all. I’ll take them carefully. Thank you.”

“Thank you. You should have some too. These are fresh eggs, laid just today.”

“I understand. I’ll make sure to deliver them.”

Cradling the basket of eggs the man had given him, Emil made his way to Jack’s house.

It was the only place where he felt truly at ease. “Jack!”

Typically, Jack would be outside, training his physique during the day. Occasionally, he would be summoned by the lord, but that usually only happened when someone presumed to be an Esper arrived at the lord’s castle.

The Empire granted lords wealth, military power, and numerous rights, but it never conceded control over those with supernatural abilities.

The Empire asserted that these individuals possessed military value and thus needed to be managed directly by the state.

While some operated freely as mercenaries, a significant number chose to work for the Empire, which offered them status, rights, and a level of wealth ordinary people could only dream of.

Rarely, a small number of unregistered ability users would become affiliated with noble or lordly armies. Since the number of Espers was linked to a lord’s influence, lords were desperate to increase the number of Espers under their command.

And to discern those who truly claimed to be Espers, a Guide was necessary. “Where could he be?”

But Jack was nowhere in sight. ‘Could today be one of those rare days he’s called away by the lord?’

‘Will it take long?’ Emil waited, a faint hope lingering within him.

Jack didn’t enjoy sudden summons to the lord’s castle, but he rarely refused the perks the lord bestowed upon him.

Emil surveyed the area around the house, then settled down on the tree stump Jack usually used for training.

As Emil approached, the birds flitting around the stump scattered and flew away.

‘He’ll be back soon, won’t he?’ Emil glanced at the sun high in the sky, muttering to himself.

According to Jack, Espers were immediately recognizable. ‘Ordinary people might not be able to recognize an Esper,’ Jack had said. ‘They can’t tell if someone’s faking it or not. Though, if someone without an ability could pull off such magic, that would be remarkable in itself.’

‘What about you?’

‘Me? I’m different. I’m a Guide.’ Jack had puffed out his chest, speaking with pride.

‘A Guide could never fail to recognize an Esper.’

‘Then can a Guide recognize another Guide?’

‘Of course. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like an instinct. Like seeing, hearing, tasting… you just know. It’s natural.’

‘That’s fascinating.’ Listening to his words, Emil recalled his own experiences.

He had lived with his mother for a long time, yet he had never had such an experience. He only knew his mother was an Esper because he’d seen her wield powers an ordinary person could not.

Sometimes, when he saw flames erupt from his mother’s hands, he felt both wonder and a pang of worry that Lauren might burn herself.

‘What about you then? Do you really feel an invisible God?’

‘Of course.’ He, too, had answered Jack’s question without the slightest hesitation.

It was also a sensation he couldn’t quite articulate. Yet, he felt God’s presence, and sometimes, he even conversed with Him.

This allowed him to always participate joyfully in prayer time, which was the longest part of the seminary schedule.

Emil gazed into the distant air with an enraptured expression, a soft smile gracing his lips.

‘What does it feel like? Do you hear a voice?’

‘I don’t think I can explain it… that way. I just become incredibly happy. It’s a feeling of profound fullness, like being satiated even without eating. Perhaps it’s similar to how you sense an Esper?’

‘Hmm.’ Jack nodded at Emil’s explanation.

‘I don’t get happy when I meet an Esper, though. But I am curious.’

Emil couldn’t help but laugh at Jack’s remark. No matter how much he tried to explain, Jack couldn’t truly grasp the feeling he experienced.

Similarly, Emil would likely never have an experience akin to Jack’s.

After waiting for Jack for a long time, Emil was forced to stand up when there was no sign of his return.

More time had passed than he realized. Emil’s aimless stroll through the village eventually brought him to a halt in front of Yanis’s house.

Having nowhere else to go, he had arrived earlier than planned. He could return to his quarters and come out again, but fabricating an excuse to visit Yanis’s house felt awkward.

‘Would he be inside?’ As he debated whether to open the firmly closed door, the voices he had heard from his mother’s house moments ago resurfaced in his mind.

“……Ah.”

He couldn’t possibly be in his clinic. He must be… with his mother right now.

Emil silently chided himself for arriving so thoughtlessly early and turned to leave.

‘Perhaps it would be better to visit Gale’s brewery for a while.’ Gale had always wanted to invite him to the brewery, so he would surely be welcomed even with an unannounced visit.

Just as he decided on his destination and was about to head towards the brewery, the door behind him swung open.

“Emil?”

“Huh?”

“Where are you going?”

Yanis seemed puzzled by Emil’s actions—coming all the way to his house yet turning away without entering.

Emil was equally surprised. ‘Why is he here?’

Unlike Emil, who was frozen by the unexpected encounter, Yanis greeted him with a smile.

“You’ve come early. I finished my clinic duties early today too. I was worried I’d made our appointment too late, but it seems our thoughts aligned.”

“Oh, but…”

“Is something the matter?”

Seeing Emil’s wide eyes and stammering words, Yanis frowned and stepped closer. As the distance between them closed, Emil felt flustered but couldn’t bring himself to move.

No appropriate words came to mind. ‘Why is this man here?’

“I-I thought you were… at my mother’s house…”

“Ah. I visited Lauren’s house yesterday. There was something to discuss regarding the wedding.”

“Oh, yesterday?”

“Yes, yesterday.”

“Then, today-“

“I didn’t go today. I have to attend to the patients I couldn’t see yesterday because of my visit to Lauren’s house, and I need enough time to keep our appointment.”

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