Chapter 10: A Shared Understanding

Yanis returned from his wash, water still clinging to the tips of his hair. The man possessed undeniably striking good looks. His dark hair accentuated his fair skin, while his deep blue eyes, reminiscent of sapphires, captivated anyone who gazed upon them.

Observing his refined and smooth face, it was surprisingly easy to forget he was also a man of considerable height.

“Thank you.”

Emil offered his thanks, his mind recalling Yanis standing beside his mother. Lauren was a beauty who drew countless gazes whenever she ventured out of the village.

Indeed, the two of them together created a truly picturesque scene.

“If the opportunity arises, would you be able to lend me some books from the temple? I wish to approach religion academically, but as you know, I am forbidden from entering.”

“Of course, I understand that even ordinary people, not just priests, aren’t typically allowed to borrow books.”

Few people could read in the first place. Emil’s ability to read stemmed from his mother teaching him in his childhood.

Lauren had never properly spoken to Emil about her life before marriage, yet he privately surmised that she, too, must have grown up in an environment where learning to read was common.

“Of course. I’ll give you the books I have. They’re not new, as I used them during my studies at school, but I’ve kept them clean, so they shouldn’t be uncomfortable to read.”

“And since I’ve already read them, you don’t need to return them.”

At Yanis’s request, Emil readily nodded. The animosity between espers and priests, he mused, might well stem from a profound lack of mutual understanding.

If academic exchanges were to begin, much like the one forming between Yanis and himself, a more intimate relationship could eventually blossom. This, of course, was not something that could be discussed in front of other priests.

The man’s eyes widened in surprise at Emil’s words before he broke into a wide smile.

“That would be a joy beyond measure for me. As a doctor and a scholar, even before being a Guide, I’ve had many concerns because there was no way to satisfy this curiosity.”

“If you need anything, please say so anytime; it’s not particularly difficult for me. While my learning isn’t deep enough to assist with profound approaches, I can certainly answer some questions regarding theology.”

Emil’s words seemed to profoundly impress Yanis. Seeing the faint tremor in his pupils, Emil found himself smiling so brightly his ears turned red.

Suddenly, Emil felt a subtle closeness developing between him and the man. He had always felt a certain distance, knowing this man was both his mother’s lover and soon-to-be stepfather.

However, seeing him rejoice over something so trivial, like a child, made him seem profoundly human.

Emil smiled brightly, feeling a deep sense of relief. Although he would likely rarely see Yanis after his ordination, he felt he wouldn’t have to worry about his mother after leaving her side.

Yanis, who had been smiling back at Emil, carefully opened his mouth.

“Having this conversation with you feels quite refreshing. Truthfully… I was worried.”

“When I heard Lauren had a son, I was inwardly concerned that you might not approve of me.”

“No, I—”

The man candidly revealed his inner thoughts. It wasn’t so different from Emil’s initial thoughts upon hearing about his mother’s fiancé, making him feel a flush of unnecessary embarrassment.

Yanis observed Emil’s reaction with calm, cautious eyes. At this, Emil felt an unbidden sense of guilt.

He had initially thought Yanis a mature individual, seeing how he showed kindness to a stranger and meticulously cared for the villagers’ health. Yet, he realized Yanis, too, was merely human.

The sight of him fretting over whether his fiancée’s son would dislike him was, in its own way, profoundly human.

“I’ve been away from my mother for so long, and I hadn’t heard anything about you until now… I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

“It’s not that I harbored any ill will towards you… On the contrary, I’m grateful. I truly believe it’s a blessing that someone like you is by my mother’s side.”

His embarrassment led to a string of defensive words. Even after speaking, Emil, still flustered, tried to explain himself further with, ‘What I mean is—’

However, Yanis merely waved his hand, gently cutting him off.

“No, Emil. If you don’t mind, I would like to spend more time with you. I heard you have to go far away once you’re ordained.”

“If you allow it, I’d like to spend some more intimate time together. I have many personal questions, and this would be an excellent opportunity to resolve my religious doubts.”

“…Of course, I have no intention of bothering you.”

Yanis candidly laid bare his thoughts. He wished to grow closer to Emil and, at the same time, satisfy his scholarly curiosity.

Emil didn’t dislike this side of the man. Yanis was a straightforward, good-hearted person, even appearing devoted.

This aspect of him resonated in part with the life Emil himself aspired to. Emil nodded enthusiastically at the man’s words.

“Anytime you wish. For the time being, I don’t have anything particular to do, ah…”

At Emil’s words, Yanis’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he beamed. It was astonishing that a man considerably older than himself could rejoice so purely.

Emil awkwardly mimicked his smile, then averted his gaze. Seeing someone else’s emotions so unfiltered and up close made him feel strangely unsettled.

“Thank you. Thanks to you, I can finally fulfill a long-held desire.”

“Ahaha…”

Even at Yanis’s words of gratitude, Emil stammered, unable to find an appropriate reply. Yanis, with a cheerful voice, carefully asked if Emil had time.

Busy with his duties as a physician, Yanis expressed a desire to meet after the evening, and Emil confirmed it was entirely possible. It took barely more than ten minutes for the two men to agree to meet twice a week.

****

The two men conversed for quite some time. Their talk was casual, even trivial.

With their only common ground being Emil’s mother, Lauren, the two men spoke of her at length.

As Emil recounted how beautiful and kind Lauren had been in his childhood, Yanis spoke of how affectionate his fiancée was and how deeply she cherished her only son.

Hearing stories about his mother from another person’s perspective was unfamiliar, yet with each tale, a sense of relief steadily blossomed in a corner of his heart.

“I’ve traveled through many villages and met various espers, but those who wield fire like Lauren are exceedingly rare.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes. Many espers possess powers that defy our common understanding, which makes those who control natural forces, like Lauren, quite uncommon.”

Yanis spoke of his regret that Lauren, possessing such rare and powerful abilities, could not fully control her strength. He didn’t fail to mention that with his help, she would undoubtedly become an excellent esper.

The man’s voice was exceedingly calm. In the complete darkness, with all lights extinguished, his voice sounded almost like a lullaby.

The slight warmth against his shoulder was also incredibly soothing, easing the tension that had accumulated in Emil throughout the day.

“What kind of person would you call a ‘good esper’?”

Emil, forcing strength into his drooping eyes, repeated the question. It was a query flung out purely to ward off sleep, but Yanis fell silent for a moment.

Emil, however, did not notice the silence.

“…Perhaps those who can skillfully control their abilities? Many ordinary people still fear espers, after all.”

“Only espers who can skillfully control their powers can truly live in harmony with others.”

“Ah…”

Indeed. The ignorant often feared and avoided espers. Emil nodded, recalling his childhood.

Memories of hardship, which he never wished to revisit, resurfaced.

“…I—”

“Yes, please speak.”

“…I know my mother is a good esper. She… has never harmed anyone.”

“I see.”

“I…”

‘I, I…’ Sleepiness overwhelmed him, proving utterly irresistible. His eyelids grew heavy; he could no longer keep his eyes open. His tongue felt loose, making speech difficult, yet Emil painstakingly uttered a single phrase.

“I wish my mother could just live a normal…”

‘—life.’

Not as an esper or a Guide, but simply as an ordinary human, as an ordinary woman. To embrace all the happiness, sorrow, joy, fear, and small anxieties that everyone else takes for granted.

‘He had merely wished for her to live as an ordinary woman. That was more important to Emil than her becoming a ‘good esper.’

The room, which had moments ago echoed with Emil’s intermittent voice, was now filled only with soft breathing. Even that was barely audible unless one concentrated.

Emil, deep in slumber, slept without a single stir.

“Emil?”

Yanis quietly called Emil’s name, but no reply was forthcoming. Yanis, who had been staring at the ceiling, slowly turned his body to face Emil. He lifted himself and carefully buried his face in Emil’s neck.

A clean scent emanated from the young man, who had only just shed the vestiges of boyhood. It was a mixture of the unique scent of priests, who had never touched anything impure, and the fresh, vibrant aroma of youth.

“Emil.”

Yanis quietly called Emil’s name once more. Again, there was no reply. The man carefully layered his hand over Emil’s limp one. Having washed in warm water and buried deep in the blankets, Emil’s hand held a pleasant warmth.

What the man desired, however, was not Emil’s warmth. He carefully slid his fingers, pushing his hand inside the sleeve. Warm, smooth skin wrapped around his fingertips.

He found nothing. The man boldly plunged his hand deeper into Emil’s clothes. At that moment, Emil, who had been sleeping motionlessly, twisted his waist.

“Mmm…”

It was a sleep-mumble. But the man had already returned to his previous position as if nothing had happened. Unlike Emil’s deep slumber, Yanis’s eyes were vividly alive. There was no trace of sleepiness in them.

“How peculiar.”

The man murmured to himself, his voice still calm but now cold. He couldn’t precisely define what he had just experienced. However, it completely shattered the knowledge he had previously held.

He pressed his body close to the sleeping pre-priest and brushed back his scattered hair. The soft blonde hair was similar to a woman’s but carried a different fragrance. Feeling an intense curiosity and a thrumming excitement from him, the man closed his eyes.