Chapter 14: The Mark of God

Emil’s wrist was indeed thin enough for Yanis to easily encircle it, with room to spare. Yanis’s thumb grazed the back of Emil’s hand, where blue veins were clearly visible beneath the skin.

“You are far too young for such a life. If you already live with such restraint, your body will swiftly wear itself out.”

Yanis examined Emil’s arm with a worried expression. He pushed up the sleeve of the gown covering the wrist and visually traced the length of the slender arm.

The man’s long fingers slowly caressed Emil’s bony frame, leaving a tingling sensation where they touched. Trapped in Yanis’s grasp, Emil could not move. He subtly pulled his sleeve back down and hid his arm behind his back.

“Th-thank you,” Emil stammered. “For your concern… but you needn’t worry. I’m already quite accustomed to this kind of life.”

The spot where the man’s hand had touched still tingled. Yanis maintained a serious expression, listening intently to Emil’s words.

Feeling inexplicably awkward, Emil began to babble. He spoke of how dreadful the sacramental wine at the seminary tasted, or how pleasant it was to enjoy quality food whenever a bishop or cardinal visited.

What started as an attempt to change the subject somehow devolved into only talk of food, leaving Emil feeling even more embarrassed.

Nevertheless, Yanis listened attentively, neither bored nor mocking.

“It seems I must feed you well before you become a full-fledged priest,” Yanis remarked. “Lauren would be saddened to know you live such a life.”

“Ah…”

Emil nodded foolishly at the man’s words. Yanis was a kind soul. He extended his kindness and worried over the smallest details, even for Emil, the son of his lover, with whom he shared no blood.

Emil struggled to recall memories of his father. He wondered if his father would have been like Yanis, had he lived.

His father had passed away when Emil was young, closing his eyes not long after they arrived in this village. Memories of his father were incredibly faint, perhaps because it was Emil’s first experience with loss, making those recollections even hazier.

It was a joyous thing to be able to become family with such a good person. Though, as he was destined to become a priest, his time seeing Yanis was limited.

“Ah.”

Yanis suddenly spoke, as if something had just occurred to him.

“Pardon my intrusion, but do you also bear the mark on your body? I have heard that some priests carry such a sign upon them. Certain chosen priests…”

“Ah, yes, I do.”

Though Yanis had spoken very cautiously, Emil instantly understood what he meant: the Mark of God. The Creator, at times, desired devotion and would engrave proof upon their bodies, calling them to His side.

“The location varies from person to person. Mine is on my back.”

“What does it look like? May I see it?”

Emil hesitated for a moment at Yanis’s question, then nodded. Slowly, he untied the knot on his gown.

As the knot at his waist came undone, the gown hung loosely. After a brief moment of contemplation, Emil removed the gown entirely.

“Ah, Emil.”

He wore only a thin undergarment beneath. Though he had resolved to do it after much thought, standing before the man in a worn short-sleeved shirt, under his gaze, proved more embarrassing and awkward than he had anticipated.

Even after years of sharing rooms with other students at the seminary and swimming in only his undergarments, this feeling was entirely new. Hoping his burning ears wouldn’t flush crimson, Emil turned his back to Yanis.

The cross would be visible through the thin, old shirt.

From behind him, the man’s gasp of admiration was audible.

“May I touch it?”

“Yes, of course.”

This process was familiar to Emil. Students at the seminary were often very interested in those who bore the Mark upon entering, sometimes even visiting dorm rooms with requests similar to the man’s.

Showing his back to them, or seeing the marks etched on others’ bodies, was a frequent occurrence.

“…!”

“Oh, my heavens.”

Yet, when the man’s hand touched his bare skin, Emil had to bite his lower lip to stifle a cry. Yanis’s large hand slipped beneath his undergarment, caressing his unadorned skin.

“This… this isn’t something carved by human hands.”

“…”

It was truly astonishing. Below his nape, between his shoulder blades, a large cross was etched along Emil’s spine.

His skin was incredibly smooth; there were no scars or imperfections that would suggest it had been carved. The area where the cross was drawn felt as soft and natural as the rest of his skin, as if it had always been there.

“Does it not hurt?”

“Not at all.”

Once again, his heart began to race. Emil clutched his left chest with both hands. This had been happening frequently of late; his heart would pound wildly for no apparent reason.

Overwhelmed by the erratic thumping, Emil squeezed his eyes shut. Each time the man’s hand delicately traced his back, his solar plexus ached. Unconsciously, his toes curled.

“Ahhh…!”

“Oh, I apologize.”

As the man’s hand slowly stroked from his shoulder down to his waist, a higher-pitched groan escaped him than usual. He shivered and trembled at the subtle, exquisite sensation, prompting Yanis to apologize.

Yanis then slowly surveyed the prospective priest’s body.

While his slender nape resembled Lauren’s, his lean shoulders and straight back were uniquely his own. The soft, yielding white skin was a testament to his youth, and the cross adorning half of his back proclaimed the identity of this young, less-than-mature body’s owner.

Presenting his back to the man so defenselessly seemed akin to innocence or purity. Yanis scrutinized every inch of the young man’s body, a prospective priest just shedding his boyishness, with eyes filled with curiosity and wonder.

After a long hesitation under the man’s gaze, Emil was the first to speak.

“May I put my clothes back on now?”

“Ah, yes. My apologies.”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

Emil subtly averted the man’s lingering gaze and hastily donned his gown. His hurried movements made it difficult to tie the knot.

“Allow me to help you.”

The man, who had been watching, readily stepped forward and tied the laces for him. It happened before Emil could even refuse.

Yanis, with downcast eyes, delicately fastened the ties, the long shadow cast over his eyes particularly unsettling. Emil watched him intently until Yanis raised his gaze to meet his own blue eyes once more.

Only when Yanis offered a small smile did Emil turn his head away, feeling embarrassed.

“Truthfully, I never believed in those who bore the Mark of God on their bodies. As a physician, it was simply unbelievable.”

“…”

“But seeing you, I understand now. That it is not a lie.”

‘It truly is wondrous,’ the man mused softly. Emil gave a shallow nod at his quiet admiration. His heart throbbed strangely.

It was always like this whenever he spent time with Yanis: sometimes no words came to mind, or his body would not obey, or he would feel suffocated.

Emil tried to leave Yanis’s house early, but Yanis did not readily let him go.

“I bought groceries because I wished to share a meal with you. Please, stay and have a little.”

Emil hesitated at his words, but upon hearing about the groceries, he reluctantly took a seat at the table. On the small, two-person table, food prepared personally by Yanis was laid out.

It wasn’t extravagant, but a single bite revealed a simple, pleasant flavor. The man explained that he was accustomed to cooking, having lived alone for a long time.

“I hope it suits your taste. Though it’s not as good as Lauren’s cooking.”

“No, that’s not true at all.”

‘Mother isn’t very good at cooking…’ Yanis’s meal was by no means inferior to Lauren’s. In fact, Emil felt it was even better, given its delicate flavors.

Yanis did not speak during the meal, allowing Emil to slowly look around the house and fall into various thoughts.

‘If Mother were to move in here, how would they manage the household?’ ‘There wouldn’t be enough space for her clothes and various belongings.’

‘Moreover, Yanis is a doctor and needs his consultation room, so giving up that space would be difficult.’ ‘Perhaps Mother’s house would be used as a storage space. It’s a bit of a distance from the village, but not entirely inaccessible.’

‘They would probably change the bed too, since she’d be sharing it with Mother.’

After the meal, Yanis offered him another cup of tea, saying it aided digestion. Whether it was his imagination or not, Emil felt his solar plexus tighten even more.

The silence that had settled during dinner extended into tea time. The man seemed accustomed to quiet, sipping his tea with ease, but Emil was not. He merely fiddled with his hands, trying to pass the time.

The reason was unclear. He simply found this situation somewhat uncomfortable. If Yanis were to ask if he was uncomfortable with him, the answer would be no. He didn’t dislike him either.

Yet, for some inexplicable reason, the current circumstances were difficult to bear.

“Ah.”

Yanis, who had been quietly gazing outside, opened his mouth as if something had just come to mind.

“Have you read the book you borrowed last time?”

“Ah, yes.”

Emil recalled that he had borrowed a book from the man. In the past few days, he had been too busy trying to avoid the nun’s watchful eye to even read the book, let alone hide it.

He had no idea what he’d hear if the book were discovered. Seeing Emil’s eyes darting about as he searched for a reply, Yanis chuckled softly.

“I wasn’t trying to rush you. I was merely curious to know what the Father thought of the book.”

“…That’s an undeserved title, as I haven’t been ordained yet. Truthfully, I’ve been too busy these past few days to find time to read. I’ll read it quickly and bring it back.”

“You can return it late, it’s quite alright. You don’t even have to return it at all. Speaking of which, when is your ordination?”

“I believe… there are about twenty days left.”

Typically, seminarians who graduate are granted about a month of rest. This was both a period of respite and a final opportunity.

The last chance to live as a layman, rather than a clergyman.

Even after graduating from seminary, one could still live as a layperson if they weren’t ordained. While the majority chose a life of service to God, not everyone did. Rarely, some chose a different path.

“Will I also be able to attend your ordination ceremony?”

At the man’s words, Emil looked at his face. The man’s eyes were exceptionally blue, sometimes appearing like clear water, other times like an unfathomable sea.

When Yanis looked at him with that gentle, enigmatic gaze, Emil would often be overcome by strange emotions, much like he was now.

“It will probably be possible. It’s a significant event, so they won’t be selective about attendees.” “Even if they were, I imagine you could certainly enter with Mother, as family members are permitted to attend.”

“I look forward to it immensely.”

Seeing the man’s face curve into a gentle smile, Emil also offered a small, bright smile in return.

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