Chapter 30: A Confession Under the Dark Sky

****

“Haa…”

The night sky, which he hadn’t seen in a long time, was darker than ever. Not even the moon, which always illuminated the night, was visible, let alone the stars. Emil felt as though even the weather was conspiring against him.

“Emil.”

At the sound of the voice behind him, his shoulders twitched. A rustling sound followed, and then a warm blanket settled upon Emil’s shoulders.

“The night air is quite chilly.”

“…Thank you.”

Yanis’s voice was as gentle and kind as ever. This was evident even from the fact that he had sent Emil out to get some air without a single complaint. He hadn’t uttered a word of displeasure, even after Emil had frozen his entire house.

As Emil deliberately averted his gaze from Yanis, scanning only the empty air, a steaming cup suddenly appeared before him.

“Ah…”

“It’s warm tea. It will likely soothe your mind.”

“…Thank you.”

Though the man was ceaselessly showering him with kindness, Emil lacked the courage to meet Yanis’s gaze. To have kissed a man—and his mother’s fiancé, at that.

No, what he had done was far more sordid. Hadn’t they entangled their tongues and pressed their lips together, like a man and woman sharing intimacy after a wedding?

Yanis had claimed it was a form of communion, but Emil heard nothing. How could such a defiling act possibly lead to communion? Did all Espers… have to engage in such acts with their Guides?

“I can’t do this…”

He muttered, slowly sipping the tea Yanis had given him. Yanis’s nonchalant reaction, even after ‘that’ act with him, was also a profound shock to Emil. How could a man, especially with his fiancé’s son, commit such acts without feeling even a hint of guilt?

The shock simply wouldn’t fade. Instead, a surge of anger welled up within him. He had come out for air precisely because he found it unbearable to face Yanis without awkwardness.

‘If I had known his plea for forgiveness held *that* meaning, I would have resisted it at all costs.’

“Emil.”

The man settled beside Emil. Emil silently tightened his grip on the teacup. Frankly, he wished not to see him, yet this was Yanis’s home after all.

“…You may go inside and rest first.”

“I came out because I wished to be with you. I, too, wanted to get some air.”

“…”

His ears burned at the man’s words. It was fortunate that it was so late. In broad daylight, his flushed face would surely have been exposed.

Yanis was always gentle. Moreover, he would casually utter words that made one’s heart flutter. Even knowing that Yanis’s kindness was merely ingrained, Emil’s body reacted strangely.

His body temperature rose, his face grew hot, and it became difficult to maintain his composure. Sometimes, his breath would catch in his throat, leaving him speechless.

“I am sorry, Emil.”

“…”

“I… I anticipated you would feel ashamed. But seeing your distress made me anxious.”

“…”

“I am sorry.”

Only then did Emil turn to face Yanis. At the end of Emil’s gaze sat the man, his shoulders slumped, his head bowed, confessing his transgressions.

It was a sight Emil had never witnessed from Yanis before. He was gentle and kind, yet never obsequious or overly concerned with others’ opinions.

He had remained dignified even when meeting members of the clergy who disdained him, and he never lost his temper with stubborn individuals. Nor did he ever cower or try to appease them.

“…”

“Truthfully, I don’t know what I should do. And I’m not sure what would have been best in that situation either. It might sound like an excuse, but I don’t care what happens to the house. I can simply rebuild it, or if not, I can stay at an inn. But seeing you… look so troubled, I suddenly felt utterly helpless.”

“…”

Yanis, with great difficulty, bared his heart. Belatedly, he raised his head and met Emil’s eyes. The moment Emil saw Yanis’s face, he involuntarily let out a gasp.

“Ah…”

His expression was far more wounded than Emil’s own. His eyes, which typically radiated warmth and kindness, were subtly wet and continuously flickered with unease.

Emil realized he hadn’t truly looked at Yanis once since ‘that incident’ earlier. In his own shock, he had failed to consider Yanis’s emotions in detail.

“I am sorry, Emil. I never intended to displease you.”

“Oh, no, it’s not that.”

At Yanis’s words, which sounded almost like a choked confession of sorrow, Emil hastily shook his head. His heart seemed to plummet. Witnessing such vulnerability from the man, a side he had never seen before, Emil realized he had made a grave error.

‘A priest is a representative of God. Upon graduating, you will become messengers, teachers, and shepherds who convey God’s word. This is the path our Savior walked before us, and the path He desires for us.’

These were words he had heard so often during his seminary days that they were practically ingrained in his ears. One of his classmates, with whom he lived, would even mimic the Priest’s words flawlessly. This, then, was the path Emil had chosen.

“I… I am so sorry. You simply did what needed to be done. I, I… I failed to consider Yanis’s feelings. I was too flustered… I should have acted more calmly.”

Even as he apologized to the man, his voice kept trembling. He forced out the words, though his throat felt tight, choking his voice. But he absolutely had to apologize to him.

He needed to seek forgiveness for having been so harsh to a man who had gone out of his way to help him with this troublesome matter.

“I am truly sorry. I should have… been more considerate. I didn’t study diligently, merely clinging to the vague notion that since you were here, everything would work out somehow.”

“Emil…”

Strangely, tears kept flowing. Emil wiped his eyes with his sleeve, confessing his shortcomings. Even without a priest present, the confession poured out effortlessly.

Yet, every word was sincere.

“I didn’t do my best. Yanis, from now on… I will actively strive. If necessary, I will practice and study. I won’t be surprised by anything you do.”

“…”

The man silently watched Emil, who was weeping and offering his complete trust. When he offered no reply, Emil’s heart grew even more anxious.

“Whatever, whatever you do… I will follow.”

“Ah…”

The instant Emil’s declaration of absolute obedience left his lips, Yanis’s eyes widened, and he rose from his seat. Overwhelmed with emotion, Emil found himself unable to speak further and hurried back inside the house.

The man’s gaze silently followed Emil’s retreating figure, though he remained standing. Yanis’s eyes were fixed solely on Emil. Even after Emil had entered the house and was out of sight, Yanis continued to track him with his gaze.

His eyes, which moments ago had been clouded with guilt, now gleamed with ecstasy and triumph. The lips that had painfully confessed his sins and offered apologies now curved into a soft arc.

A man whose only teachings were pure faith and sacrifice, utterly ignorant of disobedience. To gain the complete trust of such a man was tantamount to securing victory.

****

The time that followed flowed smoothly. Fortunately, Emil no longer suddenly froze the house after that day. Occasionally, with Yanis’s help, he practiced manifesting his abilities a few times.

Starting with Yanis’s quill, then moving to tableware, bookshelves, and even tables, he gradually learned to control his power by practicing its release and retraction.

“You are doing well.”

Yanis would assign him new tasks and assist him in accomplishing them. He would hold Emil’s hand, sometimes press their foreheads together, or even kiss the back of his hand. Though Emil’s heart would flutter whenever Yanis performed such actions, he painstakingly pretended to be unaffected.

This was a form of therapy. Yanis was merely helping him until he could fully control his power.

Although there were no intense kisses like before, such simple touches proved greatly beneficial to Emil. Thanks to this, he no longer froze the house while sleeping.

Feeling Yanis’s body heat was detrimental to Emil’s composure. Whenever Yanis drew near to assist him, Emil found it impossible to control his expressions. His face would flush crimson, prompting him to deliberately turn his head away.

“…Good.”

Regardless of Emil’s emotional state, his physical condition had significantly improved as the therapy progressed. In fact, had he not met Yanis, he might never have even realized his body wasn’t well. Lately, Emil felt lighter and refreshed compared to before.

“Perhaps, unbeknownst to you, your power was affecting you.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. It’s not uncommon for abilities, when not properly utilized, to harm the individual’s body.”

Yanis offered a concise explanation upon hearing about Emil’s condition. Indeed, now that he could better control his abilities, his health had noticeably improved.

Furthermore, according to Yanis, the Priest’s condition had also significantly improved. These days, he even conducted Mass himself and ate meals with others in the dining hall. It seemed true that the power Emil had unknowingly released each night had impacted the Priest’s illness.

“Haa…”

Whenever he recalled that fact, his heart grew heavy with guilt. Each time, Yanis would offer comfort, assuring him that since the Priest was receiving treatment, he would be fine.

Emil counted the days until his ordination. There were barely more than ten days left until the ceremony. The day after the ordination, Yanis and Lauren’s wedding was scheduled to take place.

Emil paused for a moment, surveying his surroundings. Thanks to his diligent efforts, tidying up whenever Yanis was attending to his patients, the hill had taken on a rather presentable appearance.

He had pulled weeds and meticulously groomed the area where the two would exchange their wedding vows. The necessary furnishings were to be brought in the day before the ordination ceremony.

Emil still harbored concerns about Lauren’s infidelity, yet he couldn’t bring himself to utter a single word to Yanis. Was it truly the right thing to inform him of that fact? Was it permissible to even voice this dilemma? The same questions constantly surfaced in Emil’s mind, but he never found an answer.

Emil tossed the pulled weeds behind a rock, out of sight, and after washing his hands in the stream, he descended. This was no time to leisurely worry about others. Emil, more than anyone, needed to completely rid himself of this power before his ordination.

“I should probably talk to him soon…”

‘Since Yanis’s days of leaving for the Priest’s treatment have decreased, I should suggest extending our therapy sessions.’ To clear his head, Emil set out for a walk.

The village remained tranquil and peaceful. Several people approached Emil, acknowledging him. Suddenly, a particular voice caught Emil’s ear.

“How about this fabric? Jack ordered this exact fabric recently.”

It was Margaret.

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