Chapter 34: A Desperate Plea for Guiding

Yanis waited silently until Emil had calmed down. Emil, sipping the now lukewarm tea, waited for him to speak. In all honesty, he wanted to grab Yanis’s pant leg and beg.

Yanis seemed lost in thought, his gaze fixed on the window with an inscrutable expression. His somber face and troubled look suggested deep contemplation.

The distinct lack of conviction in his eyes deeply unsettled Emil.

“Emil.”

Yanis finally spoke long after Emil had regained his composure.

“First, I apologize. I didn’t realize you were… struggling so much. No, I did know. But with how busy I’ve been lately, I suppose I wanted to pretend I didn’t. Please accept my apology.”

“No, it’s alright. I feel like I keep showing you this side of myself. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“I understand your concerns well. I also know you’re anxious with the ordination ceremony so close.”

Fortunately, Yanis seemed to grasp Emil’s predicament precisely. Yanis believed he was providing ample assistance, yet Emil felt the deadline closing in.

“There isn’t no way. However, to do so, we would need to engage in a deeper… a deeper form of guiding.”

“I, I don’t care what it is.”

Despite Emil’s fervent response, Yanis’s expression remained troubled.

“Of course, I understand your feelings, but… I preferred not to reach that stage if possible. While it’s common among Guides and Espers, the Church might perceive it as indulging in carnal desires. Even a simple kiss could be misconstrued.”

“……”

“And you are not an ordinary believer; you are destined to become a priest.”

The man’s words were difficult to parse. Was he actually refusing? Emil’s vision already blurred. He struggled to maintain his composure as he spoke.

“But… you haven’t received baptism, and I am the one asking you. I hope you don’t… overthink it.”

“……”

“Please, Yanis.”

‘Please’ was the word on his lips, yet it was a desperate plea for salvation. The thought of being excommunicated, not merely failing to become a priest, was truly horrifying.

Yanis, unable to respond immediately to Emil’s earnest request, finally spoke after a long pause.

“…Very well.”

“……!”

“If you truly wish for it so desperately.”

“Tha-thank you!”

Emil sprang to his feet and embraced Yanis tightly. Yanis flinched in surprise, then belatedly patted Emil’s back.

“First, let’s rest today, and then starting tomorrow—”

“No! I want to start right now. Time is of the essence. Who knows how things might change by tomorrow…”

Yanis tilted his head slightly at Emil’s urgency before giving an affirmative reply.

“Still, I would appreciate it if you’d give me time to wash these dishes.”

Only then did the bowls, still full of food scraps, catch Emil’s eye. He nodded sheepishly, and Yanis rose from his seat.

“Is there anything I can prepare?”

“Nothing special. Ah, though it would be good for you to wash yourself.”

“Yes!”

Following Yanis, Emil also went to fetch water to fill the bathtub. He moved briskly, humming a small tune.

Yanis glanced at Emil, who was bustling around, washing the dishes. The food scraps clinging to the bowls quickly dissolved once submerged in water.

As he watched the residue naturally disappear with a few wipes, Yanis fell into a brief reverie.

‘Lucky you, Yanis. You can connect with anyone.’

‘I’ve seen many Guides who can’t handle Espers, but a Guide with so much power they get bored? That’s a first.’

‘But why is it that…’

‘Everyone who’s received your guiding has—’

“Yanis?”

Yanis, who had been repeatedly scrubbing dishes in the dim light, turned his head towards Emil. Though quite far away, Emil’s form came into his sight with perfect clarity.

“…Yes?”

“Where will you be doing the guiding?”

“Ah, I plan to do it on the bed.”

“Then I’ll go make the bed.”

“Thank you.”

Yanis gazed at Emil’s diligently moving back. Emil was truly a good young man. He loved his mother, was kind to others, pure, and devout. And—

“He’s a truly capable Esper.”

He was a rare Esper, possessing astonishing potential.

****

After tidying all the dishes, Yanis, having secured Emil’s understanding, also washed himself and returned. Emil sat on the bed, reading his Bible, his hair still damp.

Emil was a remarkably good young man. He loved his family, cherishing his only mother above all others. He willingly tried to accept the young father who had appeared overnight.

He struggled to refuse when in an awkward situation, and always strived to do his best.

Moreover, how devout he was. Yanis had met many people throughout his life—Espers, Guides, even priests.

While those classified as ability users rarely encountered Church officials, for someone of Yanis’s standing, such distinctions were meaningless. He had met those holding high positions within the Church and individuals with powerful divine abilities, yet he rarely encountered someone as pure as Emil.

Someone who was always chaste, innocent, and gave their best in everything. While it was true that having just graduated from seminary might explain his strong goodwill, among all the people Yanis had ever met, Emil was paramount.

The elderly priest he met at this church was also a good man. It was almost the first time he had met a cleric who treated him so casually, despite knowing he was a Guide.

Emil, reading by the faint lamplight, looked like a young saint.

“Emil.”

At Yanis’s call, Emil lifted his head. His eyes, moist as if he’d been contemplating something while reading the scripture, sparkled with clear, watery light.

Yanis admired those honest and righteous eyes. He also cherished the deep guilt and remorse reflected in those eyes when Emil confessed his perceived immorality through tears, speaking of a tiny sin that was incomparable to anyone else’s.

‘If only you were a little more ignorant, you wouldn’t have to suffer so much.’

“We will begin now.”

‘Just like your mother.’

“Ah…”

Yanis’s words sounded, at first, like the announcement of a sacred rite. Emil closed the book he was reading, placed it on the table, and rose.

It was one thing to have requested this encounter, but now that the moment had arrived, his face inexplicably flushed. Although Yanis seemed unchanged, his aura felt distinctly different from usual.

“First, take off your clothes.”

At Yanis’s words, Emil silently began to remove his top. The thought that this could be seen as indulging in carnal desires flickered through his mind.

He calmly took off his shirt, folded it, and placed it on the floor before starting to remove his lower garments. The motion of untying his waistband and slipping off his trousers was noticeably slower. He wasn’t sure if removing his pants was truly necessary.

“You must have nothing on your body.”

“Ah…”

It felt as if Yanis had read his thoughts. He only needed to remove a single piece of underwear, but he hesitated.

Unable to bring himself to undress further, he merely rolled his eyes, only to see Yanis sitting on the bed and beginning to take off his own clothes.

“……!”

Yanis’s body, more robust and broad-boned than it appeared, was strikingly masculine, contrasting with his gentle demeanor.

Moreover, his body bore numerous scars. A long stab wound on his side was the first thing to catch Emil’s gaze.

“…Ah. I was in a major battle once. I was on standby nearby and got attacked.”

The man explained casually, unfazed by Emil’s stare. Traces of his life as a Guide were etched across his body.

Unlike Jack, who would strip off his clothes at every opportunity, Yanis always kept himself frustratingly covered, so Emil had never known. Even with slight movements, the finely defined muscles became prominent.

Emil glanced at the man’s body, and their eyes met.

“I-I’m sorry.”

He quickly averted his gaze and apologized. He didn’t know how to stop his eyes from lingering. Even knowing that this act was a form of treatment, he couldn’t shake the strange feeling.

“Ah!”

From behind, Yanis pulled Emil closer by the waist.

“Emil.”

The man’s voice was lower than usual. Yanis’s breath brushed against the area below his shoulder blades, sending a tickle through him.

“May I kiss your cross?”

“……”

“Huh?”

“Yes, yes.”

“Thank you.”

The man’s lips touched the center of Emil’s back. Yanis held Emil close, kissing him for a very long time.

Just when Emil thought the kiss had ended, Yanis lowered his head and kissed his lower back again. Emil, taut with tension, clenched his hands.

The flush on his face was one thing, but he could feel heat pooling lower down due to the contact of bare skin.

“Ah…”

Again, the man’s lips touched his shoulder blade. Yanis held him firmly, preventing any escape, and continued to kiss him.

“I wish to be forgiven.”

“…You will be forgiven. He always forgives those who seek forgiveness…”

“No. By you.”

“……”

Yanis’s words made Emil’s heart plummet. Speechless, he couldn’t offer any words to the man seeking forgiveness.

Long, extended fingers delved beneath his underwear.

“Ah…”

“For the acts that follow.”

‘I hope you will forgive me.’ The man whispered earnestly. That was the beginning.