Chapter 42: The Unfamiliar Gaze

“Emil.”

Yanis greeted Emil warmly as he opened the door and stepped inside. He was in the midst of preparing lunch. As if he had anticipated Emil’s return, two place settings were already arranged on the table. The sight filled Emil with both joy and a flutter of anticipation, causing him to smile quietly.

“Did you have a good time at mass?”

“Yes. Oh, and I also went to the hill. I’ve cleaned it up thoroughly, so you don’t need to worry.”

“Thank you.”

Yanis offered his thanks upon hearing that Emil had tidied the area. This was the only thing Emil could do for his mother, who was soon to be married. He possessed no great wealth, nor any special talent that would allow him to prepare a grand gift. As Emil hovered, trying to find a way to assist Yanis, the man simply smiled.

“Please, have a seat. Since you’ve already done my work, it’s only right that I prepare lunch.”

He was referring to Emil having cleaned up the hill. Emil felt a blush of awkwardness at Yanis’s words, even though he had only done what he felt was right.

“Today, we have stew simmered with goat meat.”

“Oh…”

“Mrs. Ann dropped it off.”

While Yanis was capable of cooking decent meals, the villagers readily shared their food with him. This served as a form of payment for his medical services. Despite Yanis setting his fees much lower than those in the capital, few were able to pay them outright.

Kalley was a village neither wealthy nor impoverished; its residents earned enough to feed themselves adequately, yet any additional expenses proved burdensome. Consequently, Yanis accepted food, livestock, or household items as payment for his medical care. From Emil’s observations over the past few days, Yanis’s income didn’t seem substantial, but it appeared sufficient for him to live comfortably.

‘Now that I think about it, this is quite a spacious place for one person,’ Emil mused. ‘Had anyone lived here before?’ He racked his memory, but no one came to mind. It seemed possible the house had been built while Emil was away from the village.

Yanis ladled out portions of the stew for both himself and Emil. The rich aroma was inviting, and with a generous amount of meat and barely any gamey smell, it looked incredibly appetizing.

“Thank you for the meal.”

Emil offered his thanks to Yanis before beginning to eat. Across from him, Yanis likewise picked up his spoon.

“The person who visited today mentioned that the ice pillar in front of the door had disappeared.”

Emil felt his face flush slightly at Yanis’s words. He had indeed removed the ice pillar that morning before heading out. In stark contrast to his struggles just a few days prior, a mere glance had been enough to shatter the ice pillar into fragments. He had then discreetly cleared away the scattered pieces from the ground.

Yanis leaned in and kissed Emil, celebrating his complete control over his powers. As always, a kiss from his Guide felt refreshing and wonderfully pleasant.

“That’s a relief, at least. The ordination ceremony is coming up soon, isn’t it?”

“That’s true,” the man added, chuckling softly at Emil’s remark.

“When you came in earlier, I noticed you seemed to be favoring one leg. Did you get hurt?”

“Oh, I just twisted it coming down the mountain. It’s not a serious injury.”

“Even so, if you leave it untreated, it will cause trouble later. I’ll take a look at it after we finish eating.”

Emil murmured a small thank you. While such an offer was typical of Yanis, given his strong sense of duty as a doctor, these small acts of consideration invariably made Emil’s face flush. Unfortunately, his feelings for Yanis showed no sign of diminishing. On the contrary, they seemed to grow stronger with each passing day. Emil feigned disinterest, gazing out the window, until something suddenly occurred to him, eliciting a small gasp of realization.

“Speaking of which, I ran into Tag on the mountain.”

“Tag? …You weren’t hurt because of Tag, were you?”

Emil remembered twisting his ankle while fleeing from Tag, who had bounded towards him. Noticing the gravity of Yanis’s expression, he quickly shook his head. ‘This is a white lie for everyone’s sake,’ he thought.

“No, I just wasn’t watching my footing. It wasn’t because of Tag.”

The man’s brow remained furrowed, clearly unconvinced by Emil’s words. Strictly speaking, he had indeed been injured while trying to avoid Tag, but Tag had a history of causing trouble. It was better to offer a vague excuse for the sake of maintaining a harmonious relationship between Tag and Yanis.

“Come to think of it, Tag went up the mountain…”

“He often wanders off by himself for days at a time,” Yanis replied. “Fortunately, he only stays in the mountains, so we leave him be.”

Yanis’s words suddenly brought a scene to Emil’s mind. Hadn’t a group of men gone up the mountain earlier? They were hunting a monster. If Tag were to encounter them up there, it would be incredibly dangerous. Tag might attack the group, or they might try to capture Tag en masse.

“…Coming down, I saw some of the village men heading up the mountain to hunt a monster. Do you know about this, Yanis?”

“Hmm… Someone came to me for advice a while ago,” Yanis admitted.

“What kind of advice?”

“They wanted to know the monster’s weaknesses. They said the villagers were terrified because of it.”

“…And?”

“The monster has no weaknesses,” Yanis stated flatly. “If it had any, it wouldn’t be such a nuisance; one could simply exploit them and kill it. Moreover, those men are ordinary people with no abilities whatsoever. If they provoke the monster needlessly, they will only invite greater harm upon themselves.”

Emil’s face went ashen at Yanis’s words. He, too, had warned the men about the monster’s dangers, only to be met with derision.

At the time, he had assumed their ignorance was to blame. Now, however, it seemed they had prepared far more thoroughly than he’d imagined, recklessly setting out to subjugate the monster even with full knowledge of the risks.

After all, no one would foolishly challenge an unknown opponent without any background information. Unlike Emil, whose face had turned completely pale, Yanis remained utterly serene.

“Then, even now, shouldn’t we try to…”

“It’s dangerous,” Yanis cut him off.

‘Shouldn’t I help them, even if it means risking exposure as an esper?’ Emil wondered, hesitating as he opened his mouth. But Yanis decisively cut off his thought.

“I already told them the same thing,” Yanis stated. “Unless one is an exceptionally, no, an *extremely* powerful esper, they simply cannot contend with that monster. If they still chose to proceed after hearing that, then it implies they are prepared to bear the consequences.”

Emil swallowed hard, listening to Yanis’s words. Was he implying that since the outcome was obvious, there was no need to help them? To Emil, this was incomprehensible. Ever since entering the seminary and receiving baptism, he had laid his life completely before God. His vow to willingly sacrifice himself for the most noble cause took precedence even over his mother or his own well-being.

In stark contrast, Yanis had uttered words about letting people die without a trace of guilt. Emil, who had been mocked and insulted by those very men, now appeared far more distraught.

Yanis offered no further words to the stunned Emil. He simply continued his meal in silence.

Emil, too, mimicked eating, following Yanis’s lead, but he tasted nothing. ‘Had I known this, I would have stopped them, regardless of their insults or mockery,’ he thought, regretfully.

“You’ve barely touched your food.”

“…I don’t have much of an appetite.”

“Oh dear. Try to eat a little more.”

“…No, I’m fine.”

Yanis did not press the matter further, instead beginning to clear the table. Emil knew that even if he had offered again, his answer would have remained the same.

“I’ll go wash the dishes. Please wait a moment.”

Emil did not reply. Yanis felt unfamiliar to him now.

Yanis was a good man, and his judgment was rational. Yet, sometimes the heart moved more than the mind. Yanis seemed to think and judge solely with his head, and that created a palpable distance between them.

After clearing the table, Yanis attended to Emil’s ankle. A sharp, tingling pain shot through him each time Yanis’s hands touched it.

“…”

“To have walked all this way in such a state, it must have been quite painful.”

“…The villagers helped me, so it was fine. And coming down the mountain, I minimized the strain by freezing the ground around me. When no one was looking, of course.”

Yanis nodded as he listened to Emil’s words. As he focused on Emil’s ankle, Emil’s gaze lingered on his downcast eyes, long, thick eyelashes, and the soft hair that fell across his forehead. He also noticed the long, slender fingers delicately caressing his ankle and foot. All of these were things Emil loved.

Yanis was the same man Emil knew him to be: warm-hearted, always willing to help those in crisis, and unfailingly offering kindness without expectation of reward. So why had he given such a cold answer just moments before?

“Emil.”

“…Yes?”

“Tell me if it hurts, alright? It’s not good to endure pain.”

“It doesn’t hurt.”

Emil replied calmly, turning his head away. His heart pounded fiercely, fearing his gaze had been caught. Yanis applied medicine around his ankle, then wrapped it securely with several layers of cloth. His touch was as meticulous and caring as ever. Only after checking that the knot wouldn’t loosen did Yanis release Emil’s foot.

“Thank you.”

The moment Emil reached for the table to stand, Yanis caught his wrist.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“My body? …Oh.”

Yanis was asking about Emil’s use of his powers. Given that Emil had relied on Yanis’s help to create and remove ice just the day before, his concern was natural. However, contrary to Yanis’s apprehension, Emil felt perfectly fine. His body remained light, and he felt no sense of strain whatsoever. It was proof that his powers had settled well within him.

“Emil?”

Emil looked into Yanis’s face. Their eyes met, quite naturally. What did that gaze mean? It was so warm, it was hard to believe this was the same person who had calmly suggested letting the village men face their consequences. It was definitely not a look of mere warmth or goodwill. Had Emil ever seen Yanis make such an expression before?

Emil recalled Yanis’s gaze when he was with Lauren. Yanis had looked at Lauren with loving eyes. But this was different now.

“Are you struggling?”

The man took another step closer. His long fingers gently enclosed Emil’s inner wrist. Emil pondered. He couldn’t decide what kind of answer to give in this situation. Without breaking eye contact with Yanis, Emil blinked. Ah… he remembered. Yanis had never looked at Lauren with eyes like these.

“…A little.”

“A little?”

“I also feel a bit dizzy. It’s probably, uh, because I fell, I think…”

Yanis smiled at his defensive addition.

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