Chapter 1: The Cost of an Ill-Advised Wish

Born and abandoned in the slums—and the most dangerous back-alley of the slums at that—I was surprisingly lucky.

The director of the orphanage where I lived since I was too young to remember was truly a rare angel in the slums; she spent her own money to teach the children the word of the Goddess and how to read.

She never bought anything that could even remotely be considered a luxury for fear that we might go hungry, and despite her busy schedule, she took us on outings to the temple every Sunday.

The director cared for all of us as if we were her own children.

Thanks to her, although the place was a bit shabby and old, I was able to spend a relatively warm and comfortable childhood receiving overflowing love. Director Janet was the first benefactor of my life.

The second benefactor of my life was the captain of a third-rate mercenary group.

I desperately wanted to go to the Academy, but in a world where more commoners were illiterate than literate, it was practically nonsense for an orphan to go to the Academy.

So, I never once voiced this small but burning desire.

I knew my place very well.

People say I am kind and gentle, but well, that was just a survival method for a powerless child.

The captain was the one who saved me just as I was on the verge of exploding—having been cynical about everything, enduring and suffering alone until my turbulent adolescent phase nearly hit its peak.

He said I looked like I could use some strength and told me to come to the site to run errands.

If I finished the errands and chores in the morning, I could have a lunch that was plentiful in quantity, even if it wasn’t necessarily better in quality than the orphanage meals.

Director Janet always worked hard, but for a growing boy like me, the portions served at the orphanage were always insufficient and disappointing. So, while the work was a bit taxing, I was quite satisfied with my job at the mercenary group.

The work the third-rate mercenary group did was actually just construction site labor picked up from labor offices or supplementing the town guard, so it wasn’t particularly dangerous.

There was only one proper swordsman in that mercenary group, and he took quite a liking to me.

Once, I asked him why he stayed in a third-rate mercenary group when his swordsmanship was so good, and the captain said that living with a bunch of random nobodies who had nowhere else to go felt like a calling given to him by the Goddess.

Of course, I was one of those nobodies.

Since my wish was to enter the department of swordsmanship at the Academy, I would watch the captain swing his sword in the dark vacant lot every day after all the labor was done. Then, from a certain point, I began to learn the sword from him.

The sword forms I learned there became a reliable weapon for me later on.

The third benefactor was… well, should I even call her a benefactor? Looking back, I was just a pawn.

Anyway, my third benefactor was, surprisingly, the Goddess.

After all, she took a mere orphan who grew up reading people’s faces—a scrawny, black-haired boy whose only skill was smiling while letting go of his greed—and sat him in the highest position in the Empire.

Of course, now that I’m here, there’s a back-story that makes me grit my teeth.

The back-story isn’t even that much.

It’s just that the existence of the Demon King itself was a fake created by the Goddess to purify this world…?

If I recall the time I was first led by the Imperial Knights to meet the Goddess at the Great Temple:

[-Child, in truth, there is no such thing as a Demon King. It is all just an illusion created by staining my divine power black. The world is so full of evil worse than a Demon King that I could no longer stand by and watch. Stagnant water is bound to rot. I hope that by having a common enemy like a Demon King, humans will become one, purify evil, and come to cherish life. Will you cooperate?]

At the time, the Goddess was nothing more than a cluster of light, but it’s still a mystery why I could see a smile that suggested she wouldn’t leave me alone if I didn’t cooperate.

Regardless, from then on, I received the Goddess’s blessing and was rolled around harshly in the Imperial Palace for about five years before being deployed to the war.

Everyone called me a brave and merciful Hero, but that was just because I wasn’t scared—since I knew the Demon King was a fake.

The monster army on the Demon King’s side would also self-destruct once the Demon King was defeated, so all I did was try my hardest to reach the fake Demon King.

Everything is according to the Goddess’s will.

It was a phrase that pierced through the essence of all things.

True to the merciful Goddess, the moment I struck the Demon King, the monsters turned into clusters of light by divine power and (seemed to) disappear, and those clusters of light seeped into the wounded on the human side, healing all their injuries instantly.

And this was where another hardship of my life began.

Immediately after defeating the Demon King, the Goddess summoned me to the world of the subconscious.

[You fought well. Thank you so much for participating in such a ridiculous roleplay of mine.]

Strangely, from our first meeting, I became a spoiled brat only in front of the Goddess. I didn’t know I would regret not fixing this habit for so long.

Because I acted so spoiled, I must have lost my d*mn mind, as I made the most secular wish in front of the most transcendent being.

“Goddess, since I fell for your ridiculous scheme and defeated the Demon King, please grant me one wish!”

[Yes, go ahead and speak.]

“I want to just play, eat, and rest for the rest of my life without getting caught up in complicated matters.”

[Does it matter what form that wish takes?]

“Huh? Yes. I just want to do nothing but play, eat, and sleep from now on.”

[Very well. Then I shall make it so the whole world helps you roll around and play. No matter what happens around you, I will make it so you don’t have to worry about it. You’ve worked hard, my child. Now, rest comfortably.]

At that time, I accepted it thinking, ‘Great!’, but I really should have carefully reconsidered the conditions of the wish one more time.

I should have double-checked the part where she said ‘the whole world helps me roll around and play’ and the part where ‘anything can happen around me, I just won’t need to worry about it.’

Naturally, since she was a Goddess, I thought my life would become peaceful through some normal method. Instead, things got tangled, and far from being peaceful, my head only hurts more.

Of course, since I ended up lying down and just eating and playing for the rest of my life, she wasn’t technically lying, but…

No, Goddess, I didn’t mean I wanted to become a fragile patient like this!