Chapter 41: The Phantom Paradigm

The estate quickly fell quiet again, as if the storm had never passed through.

The void left by Court Lady Cho was not all that noticeable. Anok’s care was mostly handled by Eunuch Im and Han-wol, while the lessons on etiquette that Court Lady Cho had left unfinished were taken over by Court Lady Lee.

Anok had spent no short amount of time living as the official wife of the Third Prince, the Crown Princess of the Eastern Palace, and eventually, the Empress of Gyoyeong Palace. For someone to teach him the etiquette of the Great Jin imperial court was, in truth, laughable. If anything, he should be the one teaching others.

Upon realizing that Anok had memorized the entire book of etiquette word for word, Court Lady Lee was astonished, but she couldn’t hide her relief either.

Under the pretext of poor health, Anok had not been able to enter the palace to pay his respects even once since the wedding. He would have to audience the Emperor and Empress soon, and a single mistake could lead to disaster.

Noble Consort Sa would undoubtedly pounce on the opportunity, demanding to know if he had driven away a court lady specially sent by the Gyoyeong Palace just to show such an unpolished display. The Empress, who was on bad terms with the Noble Consort, was also an unknown variable; it was impossible to know how she would react to Court Lady Cho’s dismissal, so it was best to be cautious.

In truth, the matter of Court Lady Cho was a massive headache for Anok. Although Yeo Jae-won had readily given him permission to do as he pleased, Anok couldn’t exactly roll her up in a straw mat and beat her out of the estate with glee.

No matter what, Court Lady Cho was someone sent by the Empress Dowager. Even if Yeo Jae-won’s power was greater than expected, he could not arbitrarily interfere with the affairs of the inner and outer courts. That was the law of the land.

Having not even entered the imperial palace to give his formal greetings after the wedding, he had already driven away a person sent by the Empress Dowager. He had to clean up this mess properly… Lately, just thinking about this gave Anok a pounding headache.

In the midst of all this, he also had to spend his spare time choosing the return gifts to send out. Because of that, Anok spent more and more time in the library of the inner villa, which had a desk much larger than the one in his bedchamber.

“I have brought some jasmine-infused tea. Please drink this and take a break, Your Highness.”

While Anok was organizing the list of places to send the letters and gifts, Eunuch Im entered and carefully placed a covered teacup on the desk. The clinking sound unique to porcelain was exceptionally clear.

“Thank you.”

Anok replied briefly, pulling the corners of his lips into a faint smile.

Even after setting the teacup down, Eunuch Im showed no sign of leaving, standing there hesititantly. It was obvious he had something to say.

Taking his eyes off the ledger where he had been filling out the list, Anok set down his fine-tipped brush made of soft weasel hair.

“Do you have something to say?”

Hesitating and watching Anok’s expression for a while, Eunuch Im finally parted his lips carefully.

“It is nothing else, but… I heard that on his way to court today, His Highness the Prince of Myeong went to the Gyoyeong Palace to pay his respects.”

It was hard to call the Empress Dowager of Gyoyeong Palace and Yeo Jae-won close, even as a polite lie. They merely shared a common distaste for Noble Consort Sa and Prince Hye. However, to fulfill his duty to his adoptive mother, Yeo Jae-won would occasionally visit the Gyoyeong Palace to inquire after her health, though not as frequently as he visited the Emperor.

In a way, it was only natural. It was absurd for the Third Prince—who had even observed a three-year mourning period for the late Crown Prince, his elder brother and the man he was supposed to serve as his lord—to neglect the Empress Dowager.

Thinking that Eunuch Im wouldn’t make a fuss just because the Prince went to pay his respects, Anok nodded slowly. Seeing his reaction, Eunuch Im continued slowly.

“He entered the Gyoyeong Palace and personally informed Her Majesty the Empress about Court Lady Cho.”

“What…? You mean His Highness explained it himself?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

Ever since the night they uncovered Court Lady Cho’s misdeeds, Yeo Jae-won had returned to his usual indifferent self.

Anok hadn’t forgotten that night either. In truth, the culprit who had caused their relationship to freeze so coldly wasn’t Court Lady Cho. Anok thought it was his own fault.

He shouldn’t have held Yeo Jae-won back. He shouldn’t have asked why the Prince had come to find him, and he shouldn’t have tried to understand him. Anok had regretted it countless times over the past few days.

Whenever he was alone, Yeo Jae-won’s words kept ringing in his ears.

—Therefore, I cannot let you go. I cannot lose you twice.

He wondered who the person Yeo Jae-won had lost could be. And every time he did, he felt miserable.

Had he not reminded himself over and over that he would no longer expect anything from Yeo Jae-won? Had he not resolved to leave him? Why, then, could he not let go of his lingering attachments, wondering about the person Yeo Jae-won regretted losing? Even if he knew, there was nothing he could do.

…As if he were secretly hoping that person was himself.

Anok shook his head with a low sigh.

He had long since abandoned the hope or desire to become something to Yeo Jae-won. The more one desires, the more painful the heart becomes. He did not want to repeat a pain he already knew all too well.

For now, the important thing was that Yeo Jae-won had gone to the Gyoyeong Palace to see the Empress and personally report Court Lady Cho’s actions. Anok did not bother to hide the anxiety clouding his clear face and asked Eunuch Im in a very cautious tone.

“What did the Empress say?”

“Fortunately, she did not seem greatly displeased or angry. However, she reportedly found herself in a bit of a difficult position after hearing the details of the incident.”

Since a court lady from the Gyoyeong Palace had plotted such a thing, it was undoubtedly an insult to the Empress Dowager. It was fortunate that she was a person who could distinguish between awkwardness and anger. Most people would lash out in anger the moment they were put in a difficult spot.

“But how did you find out about what happened inside the palace?”

“Ah, His Highness personally dispatched Eunuch Seok to deliver the news. It seems he thought it best for you to know before you enter the imperial palace to audience Her Majesty the Empress.”

Do as you please, he had said, but it seemed Yeo Jae-won still found him untrustworthy. It wasn’t hard to understand why.

Since he was living his second life, he naturally knew more than before and could remain detached, but in the eyes of others, he was merely a young man from the countryside who had barely come of age.

An innocent, ignorant greenhorn who had lived a nameless existence at the eastern edge of Great Jin, only to luck into becoming the Grand Consort of Myeong. Yeo Jae-won likely thought no differently.

Of course, thanks to Yeo Jae-won stepping forward to inform the Gyoyeong Palace, things had become much easier for Anok. It was a bit bittersweet, but it was true that it was much smoother for Yeo Jae-won to step up rather than Anok, who did not yet have any established relationships with the imperial family.

Perhaps… he was trying to help. Maybe he had stepped up on purpose to save Anok from facing a hostile confrontation with the Empress on the very day he was to appear before the court for the first time.

It was too difficult to gauge Yeo Jae-won’s intentions. He could not read the man’s mind at all.

Anok reached out and cupped the still-warm teacup with both hands.

“Has His Highness returned from court?”

“Not yet. I heard he is still at the Ministry of Justice.”

After drinking the cooled tea, Anok nodded slowly.

Lately, Yeo Jae-won had been returning late. He could have simply brushed it off, thinking there was a lot of work to do, but Anok instinctively felt that this was a tedious, exhausting repetition.

Just like in his past life, Yeo Jae-won was beginning to treat Anok as if he didn’t exist. They lived under the same roof, but they never saw each other’s faces. Hearing news about him through others was all there was.

Then again, were they ever a couple that could be called family? Anok scoffed at himself. To the past version of himself, Yeo Jae-won had been his family, but to Yeo Jae-won, he had been nothing.

In the end, it was repeating like this. What was meant to happen would happen. His shoulders slumped heavily. A gray shadow of resignation easily fell over his pale, luminous face.

Thinking that the dark expression was due to Court Lady Cho, Eunuch Im wanted to offer a few comforting words, but he soon bowed quietly and retreated.

Left alone, Anok sank back into his thoughts. Wherever his mind wandered, his chronic depression turned into worry and anxiety, leaving behind ominous, burning ashes.

If what was meant to happen would inevitably happen, then the Baekya Manor would ultimately be destroyed. That was the greatest shackle binding Anok’s entire life.

And Yeo Jae-won would eventually become the Emperor. If he stayed by his side until then, then without fail…

The exact moment the last trace of warmth left his body in his past life flashed vividly before his eyes. Burying his face in his hands, Anok screamed silently.

It was true that his feelings for Yeo Jae-won still lingered. But he could not endure that agony a second time. If, for whatever reason, Yeo Jae-won refused to throw him away, he would just have to make him do it.

He couldn’t use his sub-gender as a reason to be cast out, but there were other ways.

Anok thought of a pale, beautiful man who resembled a venomous snake.

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