Chapter 29: The Consort (5)

From the strangely coiled knot residing deep within his chest, Yeo Jae-won was finally able to extract a tiny, fragmented shard of understanding.

It was greed. A sheer, unyielding greed that demanded Anok remain within his field of vision at all times. Yet, he could not fathom what foundation this greed had sprouted from.

In a mere matter of days, their wedding would be celebrated, and Anok would become his person—a truth recognized by every soul from the heavens to the earth…… Yet, even that felt profoundly insufficient.

Why was this? Why did he harbor this suffocating sensation that no matter how desperately he exerted his entire being, he would never truly be able to hold onto Anok?

For days, Yeo Jae-won remained thoroughly consumed by this single thought. The persistent, intrusive nature of his reflections agitated him to such an extent that he found himself actively avoiding the physical presence of Anok altogether.

Yet, on a certain night when the wedding was practically on their doorstep, he abruptly broke his own isolation and sought out the detached pavilion alone. He had previously instructed Court Lady Lee to appraise the youth’s condition, and upon learning that Anok had dismissed his evening meal early to sleep, the prince had set out.

Crossing a single side-gate was all it took to reach the detached pavilion. He had never anticipated that someone would actively open it from the other side, and he expected it even less for that person to be Anok.

When pressed with the question of where he had intended to go at such an hour, Anok’s countenance had flashed with intense bewilderment. His lips twitched for a fleeting moment before he boldly threw a counter-question back—demanding to know why the prince had traveled all the way to the detached pavilion.

To bare the absolute truth to the very individual who had spent the past few days intermittently disrupting his internal peace was a concession his stubborn, unsightly pride refused to make. Gently securing Anok’s arm as the youth instinctively stepped backward, Yeo Jae-won offered a smooth, casual rejoinder.

“This is my estate, so by what logic should it matter where I choose to walk? ……Now it is your turn to answer. Where were you heading?”

At his words, Anok had merely stared up at him. His gaze was as deep and utterly silent as a boundless ocean.

The Anok standing before his eyes was unquestionably a physical reality, so why did the youth continually project an aura so fragile, as if he might snap and vanish into nothingness at any moment?

“……Were you perhaps attempting to elope with your lover under the cover of night?”

Then, Anok—who had kept his lips firmly pressed together while staring intently at him—snapped back with a sharp, biting edge.

“If it were within my power, I would do so at any moment.”

“Audacious.”

“However, even if you were to deploy your private soldiers right now to seize someone hidden around the estate, you would find absolutely no one. Because I was not attempting to flee. The impending wedding has left my mind in turmoil, so I merely stepped out to catch a breath of air and take a walk.”

The mundane word walk seemed to instantly drain the tension from his frame. Yeo Jae-won let out a hollow laugh, turning his head away briefly to prevent the youth from witnessing his uncharacteristic expression, and only faced Anok again once he had thoroughly composed his features.

“I shall join you.”

“In what?”

“Your walk.”

When Anok demanded to know the reason, Yeo Jae-won offered a remarkably candid response, admitting that his own mind was in an identical state of turmoil.

“I am about to welcome a Consort who openly declares his intention to keep his lover and his husband entirely separate. Naturally, my mind is in turmoil.”

“……If that is the case, Your Highness could simply keep a lover of your own.”

“That would actively jeopardize your position.”

Beneath a dense night sky brushed by a clean, gentle breeze, their conversation had quietly stretched as they leisurely traversed the perimeter of the detached pavilion—a space that, while not exceptionally vast, offered a generous path for their footsteps.

“Once Your Highness has accomplished everything you desire, you may simply fabricate a suitable justification to cast me out. ……Since you stated you have no desire to take concubines, would that not be far preferable to bringing another into your quarters?”

Though the fine, delicate features clustered across his face projected an aura that felt intensely young and sheltered, Anok had spoken the words commanding his own banishment with absolute nonchalance.

The illegitimate child of the King of Baekya. He had heard that within the lands of the Baekya Clan, no class of people faced more profound degradation than illegitimate offspring. Was that the underlying reason? Was that why he could articulate his own exile with such chilling indifference?

What kind of existence had Anok truly endured?

What exactly was the fabric that comprised Anok’s past?

The moment those questions crystallized within his mind, the knot resting heavily against his solar plexus violently morphed into a thick, jagged thorn, mercilessly lacerating his insides.

I have unquestionably forgotten something monumental. I have left something profoundly precious behind.

……But where? And what?

The premise—manifested exclusively through a phantom silhouette and an undeniable, searing pain—refused to grant Yeo Jae-won the clarity of an answer just yet. Even so, a singular impulse surged within him; he desperately wished to assure Anok that he would never cast him out.

“This marriage alliance was commanded by His Imperial Majesty and sealed alongside the King of Baekya. Consequently, I will accept you as my Consort and accord you the utmost dignity.”

“…….”

“Therefore, you must likewise accept me as your husband.”

Perceiving a flash of distinct panic across Anok’s features, an uncharacteristic impatience flared within Yeo Jae-won.

“You must answer me, Anok.”

His name—a sequence that required the tongue to gently press behind the upper teeth before cleanly breaking away—was a title he felt a bizarre, repetitive urge to vocalize. It felt exactly as though he were nursing a deep, lingering regret from a past where he had been barred from calling it out to his heart’s content.

Positioning the youth on a step above him brought their eyes to an almost identical level. After quietly anchoring his gaze within Anok’s twin spheres and waiting until he extracted an explicit confirmation, Yeo Jae-won had finally permitted him to return inside.

The retreating figure turning away from him had felt profoundly sorrowful, as if he could vanish at any moment without a single shred of lingering attachment. It felt as though even if he were to reach out and seize him, the youth would instantly dissolve into pure white ash, scattering into the wind.

Nevertheless, the act of assigning a definitive name to this volatile blend of anxiety and greed required supreme caution. Standing alone in the quiet night, Yeo Jae-won forced himself to remember the duties he carried as the one left behind.

Though no living soul had explicitly constrained him or forced his hand, it was a mission and a responsibility he had chosen to shoulder entirely on his own.

The day of the wedding dawned exceptionally clear.

Despite having lingered at the detached pavilion until a late hour the previous night, Attendant Seok and Court Lady Lee maintained a strict silence, asking absolutely nothing. Instead, throughout the grueling process of draping him in the ceremonial robes and securing the imperial bead-crown upon his head, they merely continuously scrutinized their master’s countenance, anxious to see if he was plagued by fatigue.

Though he had already witnessed the garments during the initial fitting, seeing Anok arrayed in the full, completed grandeur of his wedding attire struck Yeo Jae-won with a fresh, arresting intensity. In truth, from the exact moment Anok had materialized, the prince’s eyes had been entirely locked upon him; yet, the central subject of his gaze remained wholly preoccupied with the small assembly of distinguished guests.

Was he perhaps searching the crowd for faces from his homeland? However, the lineage of the King of Baekya had already submitted their formal refusal to attend, citing a justification so trivial and insignificant he could not even recall the details.

If not that, was he perhaps waiting for the arrival of that lover who could never possibly appear? The moment that specific hypothesis crossed his mind, Yeo Jae-won felt his internal warmth instantly freeze into ice. The mere existence of Anok’s lover—a shadow whose reality, name, and physical countenance remained entirely anonymous to him—provoked an infinite, grating displeasure.

Yet, the precise instant Anok’s gaze shifted to collide with his own, every sharp, jagged edge of resentment and discontent evaporated into absolute nothingness.

He could perceive nothing but Anok. In that singular, suspended moment, the reality that Anok was an Omega—a dynamic he so thoroughly reviled—and the fact that his humble background would yield absolutely no political leverage vanished entirely from his thoughts.

Only Anok remained visible to his senses. He appeared like a pristine white water lily blooming quietly in the dead of night, or perhaps like the purest sunlight cascading from the highest heavens to bathe the world in a warm, radiant glow.

Beneath the sweeping expanse of the brilliant sky, staring intently at Anok’s elegant, refined countenance, Yeo Jae-won systematically suppressed the base, ignoble greed fermenting within the deepest recesses of his soul.

Despite knowing with absolute certainty that the sole reason Anok stood upon that ceremonial platform was to become his person, a frantic anxiety tore through him—a persistent fear that the youth would abruptly vanish into thin air, leaving him to empty-handedly grasp at nothing.

Ultimately, he was forced to forcibly redirect the trajectory of his gaze away from Anok. He possessed a vague, subterranean awareness that if his eyes remained anchored there any longer, he would never be capable of severing the connection again.

With the Chief Eunuch of Seonghwa Hall delivering the imperial edict, the streamlined investiture ritual finally drew to a close. Standing steadfastly by Anok’s side, minutely digesting the contents of the edict that officially established the youth as his primary Consort, Yeo Jae-won found himself entirely enveloped by a profoundly bizarre emotion.

Now, the only individual permitted to occupy the space by his side was Anok. The reverse was equally true. Though Anok’s internal heart might very well belong to that anonymous lover, every ounce of legal legitimacy and structural justification required to occupy the space by his side belonged exclusively to Yeo Jae-won.

That was the fundamental essence of marriage. To become the absolute, legitimate representative of the other. To ensure that every soul across the wider world recognized the two of them as lifelong companions.

Though the reality of their impending union was a fact he had consciously navigated for weeks, the sheer, overflowing wave of profound fulfillment that suddenly rushed up to his throat felt remarkably alien.

Had Anok not explicitly stated it himself? That this was by no means a marriage born from mutual affection. If that was the case, he could find absolutely no language to clarify or explain the origin of this intense satisfaction.

He found himself burning with curiosity regarding what emotions and thoughts were actively coursing through Anok at this very moment. Was he suffering, trapped in a marriage with a man to whom he possessed no intention of yielding even a fraction of his heart? Was he already calculating how to systematically dismantle the marital bonds binding him to an individual he would never, under any circumstance, allow himself to love?

Rendering his internal resolution to look away entirely useless, Yeo Jae-won realized his eyes had naturally begun to trail Anok’s movements once more. At the playful, teasing remarks offered by the Chief Eunuch of Seonghwa Hall, Anok managed to summon a faint smile, yet it pulsed with a distinct lack of vitality.

Perceiving that the youth was trapped in a profoundly awkward position, Yeo Jae-won took the initiative to respond on his behalf, dropping a subtle nod of his chin toward Attendant Seok, who stood waiting behind him. Acting as if he had been anticipating the command, Attendant Seok promptly nudged Attendant O’s side, silently instructing him to guide the Chief Eunuch toward the banquet tables.

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